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Online Dating: Swiping Right Or Left?

DkNNy79

By DkNNy79
in Everything Else

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Gramto6

Gramto6

1 minute ago, oliviabenson said:

I got banned from 2 dating apps. No reason was given. Lol

i got traumatized by men and then my account gets deleted.

 

Oh well.

From some of the descriptions of your "potential dates" that you posted. I'm kind of thinking ...no huge loss on your part. I just really hope you can find a keeper one of these days. Good luck and (((Hugs)))

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Jaded
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emma675
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I had a guy send me a dick pic a few years ago on a dating site. I replied back "is that all?" and he blocked me.  🤣

theredhead77
theredhead77

If you get an animal that will eat you after you die you won't be alone, and you'll give back to the circle of life. That's why I have cats 🙃

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RealHousewife

RealHousewife

11 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

I got banned from 2 dating apps. No reason was given. Lol

i got traumatized by men and then my account gets deleted.

 

Oh well.

My sister had something similar happen once. She’s not the type to break rules or harass anyone, but she got banned. I wonder if these guys get salty when you’re not having their mess and they report you. 

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oliviabenson

oliviabenson

26 minutes ago, Gramto6 said:

From some of the descriptions of your "potential dates" that you posted. I'm kind of thinking ...no huge loss on your part. I just really hope you can find a keeper one of these days. Good luck and (((Hugs)))

Thank you!

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oliviabenson

oliviabenson

27 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

My sister had something similar happen once. She’s not the type to break rules or harass anyone, but she got banned. I wonder if these guys get salty when you’re not having their mess and they report you. 

I think that’s it. They report me for not agreeing being their free toy. I am very polite I don’t insult anyone.

 

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Lantern7

Lantern7

(edited)
8 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

Seriously: any nice, decent guys left? Ones who want to meet and not send me nudes and ask to come over for a play date (wink wink).

I'd offer myself as an example, but a. I don't know how much overlap there is between us, and b. I might turn out to be three boys stacked on top of each other. Hey, it happens all the time on TV.

Short story: texting a woman, no idea if or when we'd meet. Things are amicable, but I'm waiting on that other shoe to knock me back to the start of the game.

Edited by Lantern7
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Bastet

Bastet

15 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Someone has dating advice for us!

I love "doesn't like cats" as a red flag.  Right on, lady.

And I could not adore more "Don't tell me what to do!" in response to a fan posting "Don't die, please".

Of course, the best dating advice she gives is to be happy when you're single, you can be happy all the time, since you don't need a man to be happy.

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oliviabenson

oliviabenson

4 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

I was asked out by another older man. Not quite elderly, but he’s well into his 50s and has daughters almost the same age as me. 

Do any men ever feel odd dating women around their daughters ages? 

No they do not.

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RealHousewife

RealHousewife

12 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

I wish I could post screenshots of what these guys write me! Eeww!

Honestly, as much as I get annoyed by some men-the ageism, misogyny, objectifying women constantly, I'm so sorry you seem to deal with the worst! There are a lot of really good men out there, and a sweet person like you deserves one. I still say get off those particular apps, but you may have more energy to deal with the toxicity than I do. I'm too sensitive to deal with all those creeps. I work with a lot of men, and just some of the stuff they say in the office annoys me. 

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Lantern7

Lantern7

Nothing really happening for me. I tried taking selfies, but close-ups are not my friend. Maybe they're good enough, but I can't get past my low self-esteem.

Maybe I should just openly state that I'm not a full-on sociopath who would want a wide-open relationship . . . .but when you think about it, wouldn't a full-on sociopath who would want a wide-open relationship say that?

I live in the NYC area. Just throwing it out there.

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Gramto6

Gramto6

(edited)

I had a phone appointment with my stock broker the other day and we were just chit chatting before we begun going over my things. He told me about one of his clients, an older man, that got totally ripped off on dating aps. Apparently the scam pulls them in and then they ask for money for whatever. The broker noticed all the withdrawals an asked him about them.  That is how he found out. This guy was sending money to women that turned out living in Nigeria. Uh oh was my response. Broker said this guy sent over $60,000 to these people. Yikes! I jokingly said "Give him my name and #!" Just kidding!

To me another reason I won't go on any type of dating ap. it is just too risky. IMO

Edited by Gramto6
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RealHousewife

RealHousewife

That guy is just not a respectful person. I wouldn't want anything to do with him.

I wish there were more distinction between hookup and dating apps. I did a quick search to see if there were apps specifically for those who want to jump to sex. I figured there were but that a lot of people still use things like Tinder.

I skimmed through this, and yeah what some use to find someone "dtf" is what many use to find a relationship. 

https://mashable.com/roundup/best-hookup-apps

I've said it before in this thread, but I really wish we had a balance between purity culture and hookup culture. It's like we went from shaming people for being sexual at all, having premarital sex, being anything but straight to all these guys expecting sex on the first date or even before a single date. Can we have a little balance please? Extreme anything is usually not healthy. 

 

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oliviabenson

oliviabenson

So I quit dating apps for good. It’s very depressing that all I got was hook up requests and be my submissive and married guys. 
 

I am not into any of that so I’m going to be by myself and not be feeling grossed out by the men.

I see no issues with people who are into hook ups but that’s not me. 
 

I need to accept that I will be alone until I die. 

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theredhead77

theredhead77

27 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

I need to accept that I will be alone until I die. 

If you get an animal that will eat you after you die you won't be alone, and you'll give back to the circle of life. That's why I have cats 🙃

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RealHousewife

RealHousewife

37 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

So I quit dating apps for good. It’s very depressing that all I got was hook up requests and be my submissive and married guys. 
 

I am not into any of that so I’m going to be by myself and not be feeling grossed out by the men.

I see no issues with people who are into hook ups but that’s not me. 
 

I need to accept that I will be alone until I die. 

I'm glad you finally quit them. I'm so sorry you had the worst experience. 

Same. I don't care if people want to hook up. I don't need to be married or in love myself. But it takes me time to feel safe and comfortable with a man. I don't think I would ever get to hello, let's bang. 

Aww, you might still find love in person! If not, I'm sure you still won't be alone. Take comfort in any family, friends, pets. We don't all need to have romantic partners, just people to love on. 

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oliviabenson

oliviabenson

38 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

 

Same. I don't care if people want to hook up. I don't need to be married or in love myself. But it takes me time to feel safe and comfortable with a man. I don't think I would ever get to hello, let's bang. 

 

This is what I mean. You said it perfectly! And most do not want to use condoms and want to hook up outside somewhere. I’m in NYC I’m not having sex in a public bathroom or the subway. (Gross and real requests).
 

The only guy I’d do a hook up with is Henry Cavill. Hey a girl can dream haha.

 

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RealHousewife

RealHousewife

Anyone have general dating advice to share?

My top tip is to just look for a good person.

There are people who are pro dating someone older and/or with kids because they’ll supposedly be more mature. I’ve known some men way older than me with multiple kids, and they can be some of the most immature people ever. 

Trying to avoid someone prettier than you or what you consider out of your league is another mistake imo. Dating someone considered not the most attractive or not a catch is no guarantee they won’t cheat or they’ll treat you like you’re anything special. I’ve had not so handsome guys in their 50s tell me I’m getting old and put me down. I’ve had handsome men closer to my own age only build me up. I’m not a rich girl, and I’ve had poor guys who are jealous just because I have no debt and drive a nice car. I’ve also been judged by them for not having a house. The guys with money have never made me feel bad for what I have or what I don’t have. It’s not like in the movies where the poor guy is the sweet, romantic one m and the rich guy is the jerk who’s got nothing but $. You can be good or bad from all walks of life.

I still struggle with some of the above because a part of me tells myself to stay in my lane, but you could be out of someone’s league and treated horribly, and you can feel someone else is out of your league and be treated with nothing but kindness. 

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partofme

partofme

18 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

you can feel someone else is out of your league and be treated with nothing but kindness. 

I don't know if I'm really the right person to give advice, I'm chronically single and don't really date, gave up on apps years ago, I don't mind being single most of the time.  That said, I think the most important thing to look for is someone who's kind.  I don't think anything else really matters if they're not kind.

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RealHousewife

RealHousewife

2 hours ago, partofme said:

I don't know if I'm really the right person to give advice, I'm chronically single and don't really date, gave up on apps years ago, I don't mind being single most of the time.  That said, I think the most important thing to look for is someone who's kind.  I don't think anything else really matters if they're not kind.

100% I’ve always thought if you’re not kind, whatever you may have going for you is irrelevant.

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HerkyJerky

HerkyJerky

I remember back in the day when the woman I was going out with that said that reliability was your number one criteria. I didn’t say anything at the time but I thought I am looking for a girlfriend no used car! Lol. But you don’t know how important that is until you date somebody unreliable. I met a woman on a app, and we seem to hit it off, and I suggested going out to dinner and she said sure! I asked her what time and she literally responded? It doesn’t matter what time you say because I am always late so I said I can go anytime but if she wanted me to pick a time about 530? She was of course an hour late which really irritated me, but she was cute and nice so you know us guys. We decided to go to the beach next weekend and she was going to come by my place since my condo was on the way she called me two hours late and said she was just leaving her house and I lived an hour away. needless to say, I said some things that I’m not happy about! Lol . 

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RealHousewife

RealHousewife

1 hour ago, theredhead77 said:

Yikes

https://www.buzzfeed.com/mollycapobianco/entitled-nice-guys-think-women-owe-them-screenshots?

I've been open about my own self-esteem issues here and that I was in therapy last year. Even though I'm doing better mentally and also feeling more confident, guys like that still deter me from even giving my number out to just anyone. I don't want these crazy men bothering me or finding out where I live. I'd rather be single forever. 

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oliviabenson

oliviabenson

Totally a turn off for me: 

Guys asking me for:

$

send them food 

green card marriage requests 

pay for hotels

buy the guys adult toys (got sent links to what they wanted), lol

3somes requests 

asking me to be their submissive (graphic descriptions followed)

he wanted me to dominate him (his collection of adult toys was huge)

sending me unsolicited nudes/videos 

I think that’s all for now lol

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Bastet

Bastet

2 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

I never got the rationale of that. Maybe if you’re dating long-term, and you want to get a laugh . . . maybe? 🤷‍♂️🤢

Yeah, that's what is so bizarre to me about this -- even if it's a dick I quite enjoy the presence of in person when the mood strikes, I don't want to randomly receive a picture of it while I'm going about my day.  From a stranger?!  No.  Put that back where it belongs, please.

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RealHousewife

RealHousewife

6 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

Found the guy I was texting with on Facebook. He is married! Gee maybe say it in your profile/or something.

So many attached men on these apps.

I am so tired of trying to date. 
 

 

I’ve had married men hit on me too. It’s like you need to look up their records to make sure they’re really single. 

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