Online Dating: Swiping Right Or Left?

[theredhead77]

8 minutes ago, Lantern7 said:

Before I forget . . . if you’re a guy, is a collared shirt the best option on the first date? I like t-shirts, but I usually want to give the impression that I want to make an impression. Or something. ?

Dress for the occasion but also be yourself. In @aradia22's example the guy was dressed casual because he is a casual guy. It's not necessarily her cup of tea but he is who he is.

[Brookside]

On 7/14/2018 at 5:17 AM, CastleBell said:

 

I don't know whether he's interested and I'm getting progressively more annoyed at being farther "out there" than he is. Even on a technical level, he knows my full name and exactly where I live (my rare last name is in my email so that's a given once I switched platforms) and I'm not even sure whether he goes by his first name or middle name or what suburb he's in. 

 

I have two email accounts (my inbox links them) and I give out the "anonymous" one to businesses/strangers.

[Brookside]

On 8/16/2018 at 9:51 AM, GoodieGirl said:

 

@Lantern7 what @AgentRXS is saying is spot on, women don't mind self-depreciation.

Is that like saying we don't mind aging gracefully?

[Moose135]

21 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

Before I forget . . . if you’re a guy, is a collared shirt the best option on the first date? I like t-shirts, but I usually want to give the impression that I want to make an impression. Or something. ?

I probably would wear a collared shirt, especially if we're going for a drink or a bite to eat.

[DeLurker]

On 8/17/2018 at 4:21 PM, Lantern7 said:

Before I forget . . . if you’re a guy, is a collared shirt the best option on the first date? I like t-shirts, but I usually want to give the impression that I want to make an impression. Or something. ?

As @theredhead77 said, dress for the occasion.  And I probably would go for a collared shirt for a first date.

Also consider what is the norm for where you are living.  I spent my dating years in South Florida so a lot of dockside places and down by the beach.  Seeing someone dressed more casually wasn't unusual.  Because of that, my idea of what would be appropriate may be a little more lax.

That being said, a good fit is essential and I'd give you much higher points if you were wearing something with an interesting texture.  A linen blend t-shirt or one made of a nice Pima or Peruvian cotton has a nice feel and look.  A ribbed cotton or a short slub also steps things up.

[aradia22]

Second date with Mr. Slow and Easy. Yeah, he has a name now. So as I mentioned, we went to see a show. That always get bonus points for me, as you know. I don't think the tickets were cheap either. But he was game and he was pretty good during the show. It's a little thing but the person I eventually end up with is going to have to come to the theater with me at least occasionally so it matters to me how a guy behaves. Does he shuffle around a lot? Does he sigh or act annoyed? This guy sighed a little towards the last half hour but pretty quietly. All things considered, a very acceptable theater companion. No constantly touching me on the leg or anything weird like Mr. Makeout either. We only had maybe 10 minutes to chat before the show but we talked a little after the show and on the way to my bus stop. We were thinking of maybe going somewhere but neither of us knew the area well enough to pick a place that would be open that wasn't a loud bar. So then he kissed me goodbye. And I worried about getting lipstick on him but he said "do I care" so I kissed him again. And apparently kissing for longer than 3 seconds (without tongue, mind you) was a bit too much because he said something to the effect of "I like to move slowly" and I felt like a scarlet woman. Which is hilarious if you know me. 

I get the impression he likes me and he's told me he thinks I'm pretty (well, he said beautiful). But I don't really know if he's going to ask me out again. I feel like we could have sweet, pleasant dates. But it's kind of imbalanced if all the benefit is on my side. 

I don't know. I feel like I need to find someone who does want to make out... at least a little. Not necessarily for forever but you know, it's summer. I want to have some fun. I'm not saying I don't like him. Just that I might need to go out with someone else too and not just wait on him. 

Also, I'm not a good person to ask about how guys should dress. On all of my dates, I might take a cursory look but if you asked me later what the guy was wearing, I probably couldn't tell you. I don't know if it's a lady thing or a me thing but I pretty much just look at their faces. 

It's different if I'm out though. I do check guys out sometimes and then I pay attention but again, unless they're in a suit, I mainly get the sense of how well something fits or the figure underneath the clothes. I don't care much about men's fashion. 

A button-down and nice slacks is fine to me. I really only notice if a guy is dressed particularly poorly or he asks me to take note of something. 

[ari333]

Holy crap. I have read all your stories and all of you sound more sweet and normal than anyone I ever had contact with on Match. That was 8 ish years ago, so maybe things have changed, but yikes on a cracker I had HORRIBLE experiences, which may be on me for choosing wrong. IDK. I had a devastating cheating betrayal which destroyed my life almost so I took time to be alone and regroup my mind and health. Then I realized I wanted love and hugs and companionship and really good sex etc. So I joined Match and was horrified. I dont recall those other sites. If so, I was unaware. 

Anyway, I just said to the universe, "send me someone because clearly I cannot pick a good one. " A guy delivered food to my house. That was it. We have been together  8 years. We are married.  He works in construction now and he is hot and 20 years younger. Everyone told me it'd never work. Well, it has so far. If it ended tomorrow I'd still say, "I'd do it all again. " He's smart and funny and sweet, bilingual. He is not what my family had in mind for me, but he is what I had in mind for me after I got over  all my qualifications and ruling people out for silly reasons. I understand there are some deal breakers for folks, but I am happy. In a nutshell, I opened my mind. I have a science degree and was looking for the like. I would have missed out on a lot of happiness had I done that. [/end rant]

Edited August 19, 2018 by ari333

[KittyMom4]

On 8/17/2018 at 5:33 PM, theredhead77 said:

On 8/17/2018 at 5:21 PM, Lantern7 said:

Before I forget . . . if you’re a guy, is a collared shirt the best option on the first date? I like t-shirts, but I usually want to give the impression that I want to make an impression. Or something. ?

Dress for the occasion but also be yourself. In @aradia22's example the guy was dressed casual because he is a casual guy. It's not necessarily her cup of tea but he is who he is.

I agree, dress for the occasion, if your clothes are clean, well-maintained and age-appropriate then wear whatever your comfortable in. Do not be like the guy I once had a meet with that showed up in a button-up shirt with a frayed collar, dirty jeans and grass stained tennis shoes. You don't have to be the height of fashion or wear high-end labels but for heaven's sake at least look like you took the time to look nice. If that's a first date look I can't imagine what his every day outfits were like. 

[JTMacc99]

Anybody every go on a date and find the person sitting across from them NOT look the pictures they chose to share with you. Like by 20 years, or by 40 pounds, or some other way?

That's a pisser, eh?

27 minutes ago, GoodieGirl said:

for heaven's sake at least look like you took the time to look nice

I think that's the goal I shoot for. And on this topic, if you're on a second or later date with someone you really like, and it's very apparent that your date put in some effort to look really nice that night, pay that compliment!

As opposed to what I did recently, which was to think it to myself the next day. Oops. Smooth as a cat's tongue I am.

[DeLurker]

@JTMacc99 - There seems to be a story behind these details...inquiring minds* want to know.

 

*or busybodies.

[JTMacc99]

Meh to story one.

 

Did I mention how nice my date looked on Thursday? Because I'm having a nice time with her. She introduced me to a new band that I can't stop listening to. We were laughing on the phone this morning about how funny they are. I'll probably post a video over in the music threads. 

Edited August 20, 2018 by JTMacc99

[KittyMom4]

24 minutes ago, JTMacc99 said:

Anybody every go on a date and find the person sitting across from them NOT look the pictures they chose to share with you. Like by 20 years, or by 40 pounds, or some other way?

That's a pisser, eh?

Yes! Actually it was more like they were purposely deceptive in their pics, like the guy who was missing a front tooth but I wouldn't have known beforehand because he didn't show teeth in any of his profile pics, from then on I looked for a toothy grin. The guy who claimed to be a couple years older than me, but again he was clever in his pics, they were all kind of blurry, so when he showed up it was obvious he was at least 10 years older. 

And so that no one accuses me of being shallow, the guy with no tooth spent the entire meeting regurgitating every past problem he'd ever had: his ex-wife stopped having sex with him, she took the house and the kids, he lost his job, he moved in with a friend, the friend kicked him out, he lost another job, he had a DUI, on and on and on. The kicker was after listing all his debts he bragged about driving a HUM-V and how sexy he looked in it. Yea buddy...

The older guy explained that the reason he'd lied about his age was because he was looking for someone younger and physically fit to take care of him as he got older. Ah, no thanks.

[theredhead77]

2 hours ago, JTMacc99 said:

Anybody every go on a date and find the person sitting across from them NOT look the pictures they chose to share with you. Like by 20 years, or by 40 pounds, or some other way?

That's a pisser, eh?

Oxford comma gal?

[DeLurker]

That was my guess.

[JTMacc99]

It's all good over here, it really is! 

[aradia22]

Quote

Anybody every go on a date and find the person sitting across from them NOT look the pictures they chose to share with you. Like by 20 years, or by 40 pounds, or some other way?

One of the lawyers. The one I went to a jazz club with. He was a little older and heavier than his photos. The crazy Russian guy (hey, remember that one?) also looked considerably older and different from his photos. The soldier also looked a tiny bit older than his photos. But in general, it works out. I find that most of the guys I go out with look like their photos or better. I don't think a lot of non-models photograph well. Especially if you're just taking a quick photo and not having an Instagram photo shoot where you can edit for the best shot. Not everyone knows their angles and the person behind the phone isn't always a professional photographer. But all three guys I mentioned knew what they were doing using those photos. 

Personally, I label all my photos with the date so I can keep track of when I should switch them out and so there's no confusion. I might leave up a photo from a few years ago because it looks cute but I'm upfront that it's a few years ago and the majority of my photos are recent. 

[CastleBell]

On August 15, 2018 at 11:15 PM, Lantern7 said:

As for dating . . . I should probably hold off on self-deprecation, right? It's one of my bigger strengths, and I did write a column in my college newspaper titled "Neurotic by Nature" for two years, but I'm thinking a woman would want confidence.

I know you've had a lot of comments on this post and I do not want to pile on. I will just say that self-deprecation and confidence need not be mutually exclusive. And reading on a profile that someone used to write a column in his college newspaper with a self-deprecating title would grab my interest, personally. That's pretty cool!

On August 18, 2018 at 11:44 PM, aradia22 said:

It's a little thing but the person I eventually end up with is going to have to come to the theater with me at least occasionally so it matters to me how a guy behaves. Does he shuffle around a lot? Does he sigh or act annoyed? This guy sighed a little towards the last half hour but pretty quietly. All things considered, a very acceptable theater companion. 

I love that this is one of your must-haves! I usually go to the theater with a good friend from college. Occasionally her husband joins us. Every time I watch my friend argue with him about how he can't wear jeans, and isn't allowed to take out a sketchbook and sketch during the performance, and no he can't put his feet on the balcony rail... I wonder if she married a 12-year-old. To be fair I will say that overall he is a great husband to her, and a great father to their kids. Plus he put up with her taking off to NYC with me in between their wedding and their honeymoon because there was a show we really, really wanted to see. 

 

Quote

Also, I'm not a good person to ask about how guys should dress. On all of my dates, I might take a cursory look but if you asked me later what the guy was wearing, I probably couldn't tell you. I don't know if it's a lady thing or a me thing but I pretty much just look at their faces. 

It's different if I'm out though. I do check guys out sometimes and then I pay attention but again, unless they're in a suit, I mainly get the sense of how well something fits or the figure underneath the clothes. I don't care much about men's fashion. 

A button-down and nice slacks is fine to me. I really only notice if a guy is dressed particularly poorly or he asks me to take note of something. 

 

Same here. I could not tell you anything any of my dates-- online or otherwise-- wore after the fact, with the exception of one time when the guy obviously hadn't made an effort. (And I might not even have remembered that one if he hadn't failed to compliment me when I'd worked really hard... and then on the way home from the date random men did the least-annoying-to-me variation on the catcall of "hey, you look beautiful.") 

 

8 hours ago, JTMacc99 said:

Anybody every go on a date and find the person sitting across from them NOT look the pictures they chose to share with you. Like by 20 years, or by 40 pounds, or some other way?

That's a pisser, eh?

But I had such high hopes for Ms. Oxford Comma! I wanted to know what happened when you confronted her about NOT using the Oxford Comma when the opportunity arose!

I've definitely seen more than one man lie about his height, but I'll generally give him a pass on that because I know there's so much pressure on men about that particular thing. Plus, he's probably still taller than I am. Plus, the men I've known well who didn't care if I was taller than they were when I slapped on heels were all-around great guys and badasses. (Co-workers rather than love interests, alas.)

The biggest difference I ever saw between the pictures and the reality was someone who had some kind of physical issue with his mouth-- like a cleft palate corrective surgery gone wrong. He had a speech defect and I had a really hard time understanding him. His pictures were all taken from an angle to hide the deformity. I understood why he did it, but I wished I'd had a little warning.

[aradia22]

Quote

I've definitely seen more than one man lie about his height, but I'll generally give him a pass on that because I know there's so much pressure on men about that particular thing.

Oh, are we counting height? Then they're all fucking liars. XD 

[ratgirlagogo]

This little piece of performance art ( I assume)  has been all over the NYC press today:

http://gothamist.com/2018/08/20/dudes_duped_in_tinder_scam.php

 

In the TV coverage I saw ( and as you can read in the comments), while most of the guys just took off once she did the reveal, so to speak, I was struck by how genuinely hurt so many of these guys  were.    One guy on the local CBS news actually said that even after he saw her rejecting guy after guy from the stage, he STILL thought this was an intro to her actually going on a real date with HIM.   

ETA:  Forgot to mention that apparently many of the hoaxees had brought flowers or candy to the imagined "date."  It's  funny to me that hundreds of the initial  Gothamist comments are heated back and forths about whether it's a good idea to bring flowers, or a gift of some kind, on a first date.  

Edited August 21, 2018 by ratgirlagogo

[JTMacc99]

13 hours ago, CastleBell said:

But I had such high hopes for Ms. Oxford Comma!

Here’s the thing, Ms. Oxford Comma served a purpose for me. A couple things actually, first she added that experience to my dating history. One more set of red flags I now see more clearly and will know to avoid. Second, she helped me kill some time and energy while I waited for super cute school teacher’s schedule to free up so we could get together again. I first mentioned SCST here about a month ago. We had lunch yesterday. We had dinner last Thursday, which was the first time we had seen each other in two weeks. On Friday I was absolutely thinking to myself “what the hell are you doing talking to Oxford comma when you have super cute school teacher going for you?”  But I went ahead and met with her anyway and the universe gave me a sign.

I’m realistic, there are some challenges here but also a mertric shitload of potential. She’s smart and funny and we share a lot of core values and experiences. And she has a great smile and big laugh which make me very attracted to her. 

Edited August 21, 2018 by JTMacc99
Big difference between very attracted and very attached. Jeez autocorrect, way to make me sound creepy.

[DeLurker]

2 hours ago, JTMacc99 said:

One more set of red flags I now see more clearly and will know to avoid

Self-proclaimed grammarians?

[JTMacc99]

1 hour ago, DeLurker said:

Self-proclaimed grammarians?

Ha! 

Of course not. That and a pretty smile will always make me swipe right. 

[aradia22]

@ratgirlagogo Just pointing out for the inevitable wave of misogyny that will no doubt follow that this was orchestrated by a dude.

Quote

YET ANOTHER VITAL UPDATE: Rob Bliss, who helped produce that viral New York City catcalling video in 2014, says he is also behind this stunt. Read more here.

[theredhead77]

Some food for thought on the 'heavier than advertised' topic. There is always a chance people don't realize how heavy they have become. When I was super heavy I didn't realize how terrible I really looked until I saw some candid photos and I'm sure I disappointed a few men based on older photos which I really thought I still looked like.

My clothes still fit because they slowly stretched out over time (but when I went shopping I was at least 2 sizes larger). The weight gain wasn't overnight and looking in the mirror didn't register a significant change because there wasn't an immediate change.

That's not to say people don't use misleading photos, just another point of view on the weight topic.

[CastleBell]

17 hours ago, aradia22 said:

@ratgirlagogo Just pointing out for the inevitable wave of misogyny that will no doubt follow that this was orchestrated by a dude.

I'm selfishly glad this nonsense went down after I'd already stopped talking to the guy who kept harping on how I might secretly be a man out to get him. 

Currently talking to three people.

One of them just had a medical issue and sent out such a pleasant/thoughtful message about how he didn't expect anyone he'd been talking to him to wait around for him that I now want to wait around for him. Plus he talks about books. I like talking about books. :)

The next responded to my message (I messaged first) with a comment that it was good that I seem to like living here because he doesn't. I asked him to compare his former home to his current one and the response was a litany of complaints. Many of the complaints are doubtless accurate, but if he's this negative on first contact I wonder how he is when he's not trying to put on his best face.

The third... I keep feeling an inexplicable urge to say all kinds of things to him but I'm not sure how I'd describe him at all other than he likes travel. 

[DeLurker]

38 minutes ago, CastleBell said:

I keep feeling an inexplicable urge to say all kinds of things to him

What kind of things?

[CastleBell]

57 minutes ago, DeLurker said:

What kind of things?

Oh, for example he mentioned being good at those games in supermarkets were you use the claw to pick up a stuffed animal and drop it in the slot, and I went on a long tangent about how I used to be able to beat those too and in high school my family took my great-aunt shopping most weekends and there was one of those machines and blah blah blah.

Or he mentioned going to Chicago for the first time and I started rambling about how I went for the first time last year and liked it very much, and why. 

I'm just spontaneously wordier with him than most. 

[JTMacc99]

8 hours ago, CastleBell said:

I'm just spontaneously wordier with him than most. 

That’s funny! I’ve done that. When I notice I’ve gone on and on, I go back and edit.  I also make sure I asked some questions to give the other person something to respond to after my short novel. 

[possibilities]

I like when people are talkative. I hate it when they don't give you anything to work with. If you're not going to meet right away, you have to offer something to make the conversation seem worth the trouble.

One thing I've learned, though, is that not everyone likes the same things.

[CastleBell]

Thanks for the advice. I am asking him questions and his messages are fairly long as well. I guess we've just fallen into that rhythm and we'll see where it goes.

A first message from another person today. I'd been going through my mutual likes and choosing a few to message, and he was one I skipped over but apparently he was doing the same thing and didn't skip me. 

[JTMacc99]

On 8/22/2018 at 8:07 AM, CastleBell said:

Currently talking to three people.

So, first guy is not going to be available to meet due to medical issue. Second guy, definitely move on from Mr. Negative. Third guy, with all of the story telling, are you comfortable with him enough to get together? Do you want to meet him? If so, drop a hint if he hasn't asked yet. I'm a fan of "That's a long story that is better told in person." 

Especially with the third guy, I would try to get out of the messaging at this point, or you could end up with a pen pal as opposed to a date.

Edited August 23, 2018 by JTMacc99

[theredhead77]

I received my first post worthy creepy message. This is an example of what not to say though all the red flags are right in the open. BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

A bit of a bummer, his profile seemed normal.
 

Quote

Really not good at breaking the ice but would you permit me to tie your shoe? Cause I don't want you falling for anybody else, only if you won't walk out of my life. 

[ari333]

uugggg.  that is all

[theredhead77]

I thought about responding with some feedback but didn't want to risk a slew of abusive responses

[KnoxForPres]

3 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

I thought about responding with some feedback but didn't want to risk a slew of abusive responses

It’s not even clever. And I had to read it a few times to even get what he was saying.  I just googled it and it hit on Twitter for “pickup lines”.

Ok devils advocate as stated his profile seemed otherwise normal. Is it possible he thinks that’s a funny hook and doesn’t intend to repel you?  Though even as I type that I’m still turned off by him. So yeah, no. 

ETA- the one below that on Twitter was “if you were a fruit you’d be a fineapple”

Edited August 23, 2018 by KnoxForPres

[theredhead77]

17 minutes ago, KnoxForPres said:

Ok devils advocate as stated his profile seemed otherwise normal. Is it possible he thinks that’s a funny hook and doesn’t intend to repel you?  Though even as I type that I’m still turned off by him. So yeah, no. 

I did think about that and it's probably the intent but some of the other things on his profile*, combined with that point to a high risk of stage 3 clinger. 

*"I'm not anyone's first choice but I am a good choice" is the line that still sticks in my mind that in hindsight isn't self-depreciating but desperate. 

And now knowing that it came from Twitter? Double NOPE (I already unmatched him).

[JTMacc99]

1 hour ago, theredhead77 said:

"I'm not anyone's first choice but I am a good choice" is the line that still sticks in my mind that in hindsight isn't self-depreciating but desperate. 

This is how I do it:  Not the most interesting man in the world, but gotta be in the top 5%-10% easily.

[ratgirlagogo]

1 hour ago, theredhead77 said:

*"I'm not anyone's first choice but I am a good choice" is the line that still sticks in my mind that in hindsight isn't self-depreciating but desperate. 

Jesus.  That is SO bad on so many levels.   It's the kind of decisionmaking you'd use in ordering dinner in a restaurant where they ran out of all the specials.

[KnoxForPres]

3 minutes ago, ratgirlagogo said:

Jesus.  That is SO bad on so many levels.   It's the kind of decisionmaking you'd use in ordering dinner in a restaurant where they ran out of all the specials.

Yeah when I read that the hairs on my dogs back stood up. That doesn’t sit well with me at all.

So glad you unmatched him @theredhead77!

Ive never learned how to double quote on a phone but @JTMacc99 is nothing like this. Yours reads “oh yeah- I want to know more about you”. 

The other, “if you’ve not already been you’ll be on a stalking show on Dateline or ID”. 

[AgentRXS]

2 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

*"I'm not anyone's first choice but I am a good choice" is the line that still sticks in my mind that in hindsight isn't self-depreciating but desperate. 

Yuck.  Prime example of what NOT to write in your profile.

[Lantern7]

For those using OKC. . . is it possible to send a second message when reaching out? Last night, I saw a profile, and I liked it. Too tired to put up two paragraphs, I commented about a picture I saw. I couldn't find her profile in my likes, and I needed to use my search history. When I hit "Message," I got this: "You sent a message! If it’s meant to be, you’ll hear back." Did I blow it?

[ari333]

8 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

For those using OKC. . . is it possible to send a second message when reaching out? Last night, I saw a profile, and I liked it. Too tired to put up two paragraphs, I commented about a picture I saw. I couldn't find her profile in my likes, and I needed to use my search history. When I hit "Message," I got this: "You sent a message! If it’s meant to be, you’ll hear back." Did I blow it?

You dodged a bitch bullet if I read this correctly.

[Lantern7]

18 minutes ago, ari333 said:

You dodged a bitch bullet if I read this correctly.

It was a cute picture of her with an animal, and I thought I recognized the background. That’s what I asked about.

[JTMacc99]

2 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

It was a cute picture of her with an animal, and I thought I recognized the background. That’s what I asked about.

There's nothing wrong with that as an opener. It's not super strong, but it shows you took an interest in something she was doing and asked a question about it.  

If I understand what you're thinking now, you wish you had tacked on a few more words, maybe showing that you read her profile. If that's the case, don't worry about it, and don't bother sending anything else. If you don't hear from her, you don't hear from her. Such is the online dating game. No response is what it is.

So we keep trying. I know that I've reached out to people I was sure I would like and like me, and... no response. I can't even say it was her loss, because maybe she was genuinely not attracted to me, or maybe what I thought was a sign of a good match to her was a big old "hell no".

[CastleBell]

Considering recent conversations here, it cracks me up that I just saw a profile that led with "recent convert to the Oxford comma." I had no idea this was so important in online dating!

[JTMacc99]

13 hours ago, KnoxForPres said:

Ive never learned how to double quote on a phone but @JTMacc99 is nothing like this. Yours reads “oh yeah- I want to know more about you”. 

You can make your first post, then immediately make a second post, and the forum will merge them together for you.

I was just showing how I use self deprecation in a way that (I think) is still pretty a pretty positive statement about myself. There's a lot loaded into that line. It's got a pop culture reference; it's silly; it's self aware; it's got a little bit of a challenge in that it invites someone to think "I'll be the judge of that", and for sure it is a good demonstration of the way I think and the kind of stupid shit that comes out of my mouth. 

Edited August 24, 2018 by JTMacc99

[AgentRXS]

2 hours ago, ari333 said:

I got this: "You sent a message! If it’s meant to be, you’ll hear back."

Take that part to heart.

 

4 minutes ago, JTMacc99 said:

If I understand what you're thinking now, you wish you had tacked on a few more words, maybe showing that you read her profile. If that's the case, don't worry about it, and don't bother sending anything else. If you don't hear from her, you don't hear from her. Such is the online dating game. No response is what it is.

And this. A woman not being interested is just her choice and not a reflection of anything you did or didn't do.

[JTMacc99]

1 minute ago, CastleBell said:

Considering recent conversations here, it cracks me up that I just saw a profile that led with "recent convert to the Oxford comma." I had no idea this was so important in online dating!

No shit! It's gotta be some sort of nerd bait, because it worked on me. 

[aradia22]

Quote

You dodged a bitch bullet if I read this correctly.

No, I think that's an automated response. Because okc's system only lets two people message if they've both "liked" each other, you can send one message that someone will see if they're scrolling/swiping but I guess you can't send more than one message because the system wouldn't know what to do with it because it can't go through until both people have "liked" each other. So I guess it stops you from sending another message until the other person "likes" you back. 

[Lantern7]

And dummy that I am, I didn’t know that. If I did, I would’ve eked out basics to go with “Was that picture taken where I think it was?” But I didn’t know, because I’m a dummy. I think we were at 96-97 percent . . . and even if I don’t believe in all algorithmic stock, her description of herself had a lot of overlap with mine, and she lives in the same borough. So when I hear something like “If it was meant to be, it was meant to be,” I just keep going into the dating abyss.

Edited August 24, 2018 by Lantern7