Online Dating: Swiping Right Or Left?

[roseslg]

I have a friend who paid for OKC and he said that you could see how often someone looked at your profile and some other stats.  I was too cheap to pay for it.  

 

@aradia22 different can be good!   

[aradia22]

@Enigma X I only spent maybe a week or less as a nonpaying member of okc. I like being able to see who "likes" me and to be able to browse anonymously. I'm on whatever the lowest tier is though. If you like the Tinder format (the swiping), okc, and a lot of other apps have already adopted it.

@roseslg I think you were talking to @DkNNy79

@DkNNy79 I'm glad things are going well with Chef. Is no filter a good thing? He's not meanspirited or hateful is he? I think coming on strong is fine if it feels genuine. The times it's turned me off is when it feels fake. Mr. Quiet Smile reminds me a little of Mr. Good Morning in that way. But getting you out of your shell sounds different from the guys I've gone out with. It seems like he's making the effort to show you he's invested.

[DkNNy79]

2 minutes ago, aradia22 said:

@Enigma X I'm glad things are going well with Chef. Is no filter a good thing? He's not meanspirited or hateful is he? I think coming on strong is fine if it feels genuine. The times it's turned me off is when it feels fake. Mr. Quiet Smile reminds me a little of Mr. Good Morning in that way. But getting you out of your shell sounds different from the guys I've gone out with. It seems like he's making the effort to show you he's invested.

Its just his sense of humor and its not mean spirited at all.  He's very quick.  He's very street smart vs book smart.  Whereas I would say I'm more book smart.  I like that I definitely know where I stand with him.  Where with previous guys, I was left to wonder (or a little unsure) if they really liked me or not.

[Enigma X]

21 minutes ago, aradia22 said:

@Enigma X I only spent maybe a week or less as a nonpaying member of okc. I like being able to see who "likes" me and to be able to browse anonymously. I'm on whatever the lowest tier is though. If you like the Tinder format (the swiping), okc, and a lot of other apps have already adopted it.

 

I am not a fan of the swiping without seeing something about the person's personality but do like something that I can use on my phone or that is phone compatible.

 

@DkNNy79, I think I somehow became the third wheel on your date. :-)

Edited June 21, 2016 by Enigma X

[DkNNy79]

1 hour ago, Enigma X said:

 

 

@DkNNy79, I think I somehow became the third wheel on your date. :-)

Lol...my bad

[roseslg]

@aradia22, Sorry :).  That's what I get for trying to respond quickly while I am at work.  I guess I should've been working.  @DkNNy79, It's sort of refreshing to know where you stand, isn't it?  By date number two, Mr. Roseslg had already disabled his profile.  I was completely baffled (so was everyone I knew).  They kept asking if we had had the DTR talk, I didn't even know what that was!  Run with it.  You never know!

[aradia22]

I just got a new poem. I haven't gotten a poem in a while. I want to post it but I'd feel bad if the guy found it. As with all these poems, it's not very good.

I'm curious. Is this something that other people get? I don't know if it's just a general cheesy online dating move or if I get more of it because my profile comes across as more literary.

[DkNNy79]

11 hours ago, aradia22 said:

I just got a new poem. I haven't gotten a poem in a while. I want to post it but I'd feel bad if the guy found it. As with all these poems, it's not very good.

I'm curious. Is this something that other people get? I don't know if it's just a general cheesy online dating move or if I get more of it because my profile comes across as more literary.

I've never gotten a poem before.  Do you mention a love of poems in your profile?

[roseslg]

@aradia22, post it!!!!!  Feed my llama!  I am at work and need to do something other than my job.   Does it rhyme? 

[aradia22]

Quote

I've never gotten a poem before.  Do you mention a love of poems in your profile?

Nope. Not a big poem fan. I mention books and reading though.

[aradia22]

This guy seems at least somewhat genuine. I'll PM you the poem if you ask. Instead I'll post an old one that's just full of crazy.

Quote

I wrote a poem for you

My first poem in english

Flame of this battle faded away
Forgotten soldiers on this brae
Remember smiley was my last strike
Like

[roseslg]

My Lord, that second poem is hilarious...sounds like a keeper.  What the hell is a brae?   Off to google. 

[krimimimi]

Ok, I read all the wrong books and am probably overly suspicious, but when I see "first poem in English," I assume maybe not native speaker? As someone who doesn't use English daily, I can tell you "brae" isn't exactly part of my active vocabulary. In fact, it's barely part of my passive vocab. So maybe he nicked it?

I read too many mysteries.

Also, suspiciously heavy on the battle imagery. Otoh, the way you guys describe dating, that almost sounds right. /back to lurking

(Thanks also, folks, for explaining OK Cupid. I kept seeing the "okc" initials, which to me is a basketball team. And that wasn't something I thought I should google... ;-))

[JTMacc99]

Okay, so now you all have me thinking:

Let's say a guy has properly filled out his profile with full sentences and coherent thoughts. He's provided recent photos.

Let's just say for the sake of argument that he is not a poet, what is the appropriate form of the first message?  Just a hello?  A hello followed up by some proof that he actually read your profile?  More? Less? 

[roseslg]

A hello with something from your profile.  If you can't be bothered to read something about me and ask me something about me, then I don't have the energy to be bothered with you.  You would hope that they are writing because there are shared interests.  

[DkNNy79]

27 minutes ago, roseslg said:

A hello with something from your profile.  If you can't be bothered to read something about me and ask me something about me, then I don't have the energy to be bothered with you.  You would hope that they are writing because there are shared interests.  

I agree 100%

[JTMacc99]

26 minutes ago, roseslg said:

A hello with something from your profile.

Back when I did this, that was one of my gut instincts. Find something that interested me and specifically mention it. You know, either "your statement about being good at treating people the way they deserve to be treated made me laugh" or "it is not in my profile, but also frequently wonder if every cowboy really sings a sad, sad song."

[aradia22]

Oh, btw, I forgot to mention it but I have a date with a new guy tonight. I've been putting it off and rescheduling it for a while. Of course I'll fill you in afterwards.

[ratgirlagogo]

On 6/28/2016 at 9:54 PM, aradia22 said:

I wrote a poem for you

My first poem in english

Flame of this battle faded away
Forgotten soldiers on this brae
Remember smiley was my last strike
Like

This almost seems like one of William Burroughs' cut-ups - that thing he was doing where he and Brion Gysin just cut up books line by line and then reassembled them by pasting the pieces randomly  one of top of the other.

 

14 hours ago, roseslg said:

What the hell is a brae?

It's a hillside. In Scots Gaelic anyway.  You know, like bonnie brae this that and the other thing.    That alone (combined with my observation above) makes me wonder if this poem wasn't kind of put together by sampling bits of writing - like Robert Burns, for example.  Which a non-English speaker might well do.

Edited June 30, 2016 by ratgirlagogo

[aradia22]

I like a "hello, how are you, with something from the profile." Though I'll be honest. If I think someone's cute or our profiles match up really well on paper, I'm more inclined to respond to a simple "hello, how are you." And if I don't think we match well and I'm in message sending mode I'll send out a "hi, how are you" just for the heck of it. And if we match up really well but I'm not sure what to touch on from the profile I have a somewhat generic line about match % (okc specific) that gets mixed results... probably in the 'how cute they think I am' vein. I tend to use it more on guys I like who haven't expressed an interest in me.

[aradia22]

OK, onto tonight's date. I don't have a name for him. Maybe you can help me think of one. I think I called a past guy Mr. Agreeable. The way I got along with this guy reminded me the most of that but I think we clicked more. We met up for ice cream in this shop I know... it's like a cafe for ice cream... well-lit, lots of seating, pleasant music. Only today because it was so hot, there was constantly a line out the door and it was noisier than normal. Still, we stayed for almost three hours (about an hour before closing time). I will totally admit a lot of the issues were on me. I was 10 minutes late after running home from work and changing and doing my makeup quickly (thank God I'd put my hair up all day after taking a shower at the gym and it magically curled itself). I wore a simple but cute dress because it was just an ice cream date. No compliments for me tonight. Once we were both there (he showed up a few minutes after me) the conversation flowed pretty easily. We made each other laugh. We did the basic small talk. When we sat down and really got to talking we seemed... well, not exactly to have a lot of things in common but to click. We got each others references for the most part. We could talk about almost anything. It wasn't difficult. We happen to be the same age but I tend to mostly date within a few years of my own age and that's not something that always happens. We covered a lot of topics and finally stumbled onto the fact that we both like the same podcast so that got us talking for a while. He seems really nice and normal. And I do find him pretty attractive. He said he's 5'8. He actually seems 5'8 (miracle of miracles). He has nice eyes and a nice smile. We ended up going on and on about religion for a long time (not in a bad way but I don't know how I always get onto religion and politics on first dates... it's like a gift). He doesn't seem nearly as into music as I do since he's not very musical himself. But he did go see Rocky the musical, which even I didn't do, so there's hope in that quarter. We also talked about Hamilton a bit. Yeah, I just really like him. I think I talked too much. Like maybe 60/40 and 75/25 if I got really excited about a topic. I feel like we're friendly in the way Mr. Psych and I are but different. With Mr. Psych I feel like I'm trying to date him but it's too platonic. With this guy I feel like we might be overly familiar (not physically, just in the way we talk) because we click so well but if we're both attracted to each other I think that part of it could grow in time out of the friendship. Does that make sense? He only hugged me goodbye and didn't make any suggestions about a second date but other than that, I thought it went well.

Edited to add that he did this weird thing that I just remembered. We ordered at the counter. He ordered his cup and paid for it. And then I went to order and reached into my purse for cash and he said he'd cover it. It wasn't offputting. It just felt a little strange in the moment. I can't totally explain it.

Edited June 30, 2016 by aradia22

[JTMacc99]

7 hours ago, aradia22 said:

Does that make sense?

Yes!  I think it sounds really promising. 

[ZaldamoWilder]

Sounds like a great date aradia!

8 hours ago, aradia22 said:

Edited to add that he did this weird thing that I just remembered. We ordered at the counter. He ordered his cup and paid for it. And then I went to order and reached into my purse for cash and he said he'd cover it. It wasn't offputting. It just felt a little strange in the moment. I can't totally explain it.

Weird how?  that he paid for his without waiting for yours? or that he offered once he saw you reaching for your wallet?  

You said it was crowded, were you guys in line next to each other or separated by people who'd already ordered?  I like that he offered to cover it though :)

[aradia22]

Quote

Weird how?  that he paid for his without waiting for yours? or that he offered once he saw you reaching for your wallet?  

Both. It's not a big deal to me but it felt like a weird power move in the moment. Or like some kind of test. 

[aradia22]

"He Who Has Not Been Named" has been silent since our date. No texts or communication on okc. I don't know if he's not interested or he's waiting on me. 

I reached out via text to Mr. Psych and Mr. Quiet Smile so I may have dates to report on soon. Really though I just need to find some time to send out messages again and see what happens. 

[magicdog]

Quote

When I first signed up for EHarmony it told me that they couldn't find a match.  I figured I was too out there

I was on it years ago and all my matches were at least 800 miles away from where I lived.  None of them were interested in meeting me.  I try not to take these things personally, but if you want a potential good match, why not at least send a note rather than lock out all communication? 

[aradia22]

I've been getting some great first messages this week. Note these are FIRST messages.

Quote

High

Autocorrect or state of intoxication?

Quote

come to westin hotel room #3110

Lol. No explanation necessary.

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 6/19/2016 at 3:43 PM, roseslg said:

Instead of a traditional date, I would always just meet for coffee/tea.  There was always an end if it wasn't a match in real life and it was daytime so people were less skeevy.  

I met Mr. Outlier online in 1998, on a site called matchmaker.com, which I don't even know if it's still in existence.  We're coming up on 18 years.  One thing I liked about that site was that it was more local than match.com.  I didn't want a long-distance relationship, and it turned out Mr. O lived about 5 miles from me.

We both had very wordy profiles and it was clear that we had both read each other's thoroughly before communicating.  My photo was of me in the first grade; his was from his Malibu Grand Prix driver's license.  Not exactly Tinder material, from what I gather.

We corresponded via email (lengthy ones) for about 3 weeks before ever meeting; our first phone call (this was before texting) was to set up meeting at the putt-putt course in an hour (it was at night, but we needed to wait for the thunderstorm to pass before going out with long metal sticks).  We hit it off and extended it by going to dinner. 

I was in contact with probably over 100 people, from what I remember (some of which I initiated), and went on just a few dates before meeting him.  A bad one was with a man who had a very high "match" score or whatever it is.  We met for lunch and it was no fun--sitting there looking at someone is just too much pressure, and that's from someone who was once described (by a friend!) as a lifetime .500 talker.  About halfway through, the guy revealed something that would need a lot of overcoming not to be a deal-breaker, and I think I didn't do a very good job of hiding that.  I learned not to give much credence to any sort of "match" score, and to use my gut instead.

I met a few others, usually to go skating or mountainbike riding, or to come out to the lake if I was going to be out there.  Always some sort of activity to make it easy to be together. 

I don't know if it was self-selection, or just the way things were back then, but I got only a few messages that only said, "Let's meet" or whatever.  I responded to every single one, though, just to be polite.  And sometimes that was hard, like when, in spite of my saying I didn't want kids and I didn't want to deal with anyone else's kids, one guy kept insisting his kids were great and I should reconsider my position. 

Or to get rid of the men who were much older than I was, and didn't seem to exhibit anything that indicated they would be a good fit for someone who had just turned 41 other than their claim that they looked and felt much younger than they were.  I finally changed my age range to 36-40 just to try to keep the maximum age down to below 60.  That became a little awkward when I met Mr. Outlier and he looked about 12.  It turned out I was 10 years older than him, and that was fine with him.

At first I resented these geezers stereotypically going after much younger women, but then I realized that this was the ONE place you could totally specify what you want, so why not?  If you're 60 and want a woman in her 30s, go for it.  I guess.

All that said, I can't imagine trying to attempt online dating these days.  I'm more of an 84 Charing Cross Road type, not a Tinder swiper, and it's really rare to find that in a man, even ones who are as old as I am.  But I'm grateful for what being online gave me.  There's no way in a million worlds that Mr. Outlier and I would have crossed paths.  And I'm not naive enough to think he's the only one for me on the planet, but he's a good one and I'm very happy to have him.

 

On 6/29/2016 at 10:46 PM, aradia22 said:

He said he's 5'8. He actually seems 5'8 (miracle of miracles).

That has got to be a first.  Check his shoes for lifts.

[aradia22]

Thanks for sharing your story @StatisticalOutlier. Online dating works better for me right now so in spite of the advice of smug dating gurus, I will continue with it. The happy ending stories are always appreciated.

Quote

That has got to be a first.  Check his shoes for lifts.

I've actually been thinking about it. He might be closer to 5'6. Going out with all these guys who lie about their height is really skewing my judgment. Maybe I'll pull out the tape measure next time. ;)

[StatisticalOutlier]

9 minutes ago, aradia22 said:

I've actually been thinking about it. He might be closer to 5'6. Going out with all these guys who lie about their height is really skewing my judgment. Maybe I'll pull out the tape measure next time. ;)

You won't even have to actually use it.  Just see if he reacts to the tape measure like a vampire does to a cross.  If he does, subtract two inches.

[DkNNy79]

So Saturday will be 3 weeks with chef.  He told me that he loved me last night.  I had an idea that it was coming just because of the things that he has expressed/said previously.  We are exclusive and both of our dating profiles have been taken down.  I definitely care about him and I do feel like we have a great connection.  I've never felt this way about someone so quickly in a relationship, but granted we see each other at least 2-3x a week and we text/talk every day, which was not always the case in previous relationships.  I personally, have a hard time communicating in relationships and I told him that on our first date.  I feel like I've definitely done better with him and part of that is because he makes sure that I tell him whats on my mind - he's always asking.  I've only told one other guy that I loved him and that was a 1 year relationship.  Its just not how I was raised.  I can count on one hand the times either I or my mother have said I love you to each other, so its not words I'm comfortable saying.  I definitely feel that that's where I'm heading with chef, just hope he's patient enough to wait for them.

19 hours ago, aradia22 said:

I've been getting some great first messages this week. Note these are FIRST messages.

Autocorrect or state of intoxication?

Lol. No explanation necessary.

I assume the first one was an auto-correct.

The second one?  I would've replied with something like, "I think you should take that to tinder."  I wonder if that guy gets results that's why he's using it?

[ZaldamoWilder]

4 hours ago, DkNNy79 said:

So Saturday will be 3 weeks with chef.  He told me that he loved me last night.  I had an idea that it was coming just because of the things that he has expressed/said previously.  We are exclusive and both of our dating profiles have been taken down.  I definitely care about him and I do feel like we have a great connection.  I've never felt this way about someone so quickly in a relationship, but granted we see each other at least 2-3x a week and we text/talk every day, which was not always the case in previous relationships.  I personally, have a hard time communicating in relationships and I told him that on our first date.  I feel like I've definitely done better with him and part of that is because he makes sure that I tell him whats on my mind - he's always asking.  I've only told one other guy that I loved him and that was a 1 year relationship.  Its just not how I was raised.  I can count on one hand the times either I or my mother have said I love you to each other, so its not words I'm comfortable saying.  I definitely feel that that's where I'm heading with chef, just hope he's patient enough to wait for them.

 

Doing a little office-twirl for you  :D

[aradia22]

Quote

So Saturday will be 3 weeks with chef.  He told me that he loved me last night. 

Whaa? On the one hand, I'm happy things are going well for you. On the other hand, if I think about it seriously, if I were going to marry someone I would have to know them for at least 1-2 years. Not that you're getting married, but to me, "I love you" is a similar kind of thing. The only person I know of who moves this fast is the Countess Luann (is there any RHONY crossover with this thread?). Anyway, I hope he's patient enough to wait to. This sounds like a great connection so far and yeah, it's happening a little quickly but you are seeing a lot of each other.

Re hotel room guy... I don't mind it. It's not offensive to me and it made me laugh. There are guys like that who just want to hook up and I get that. If you throw out lures, eventually someone will bite. It's a shame that I can't really engage because it might be fun to turn that thing into a joke but that's not what they're looking for and so we're just not compatible. I'm not saying it as a statement of fact, but at least in my experience, it tends to be the Asian guys. That is, guys of any ethnicity will throw out a lazy one or two sentence question but the Asian guys will come right out and say (in messages, not in their profiles) that they're only looking to hook up... which is particularly annoying for me.

[roseslg]

@DkNNy79, did you say it back?  Do you feel like you're in love with him or at least heading there?  It's hard to tell.  Some people connect after a month and have been married for 30 + years, others need to date forever.   I am definitely not from an ILY family, hell, we barely used to hug.   My extended family is doing it more, but it still throws me.  We are not touchy feely people.  

After several months of dating Mr. roseslg I came out with the whole ILY, the first time I had ever said that to anyone.  Lo and behold, I was met with radio silence.  That night did not end well.  Needless to say, I was tempted to just break up with him then and there.  I understood why he didn't say it back, but I felt it was never going to happen.  We are now married.  

[DkNNy79]

14 hours ago, aradia22 said:

Whaa? On the one hand, I'm happy things are going well for you. On the other hand, if I think about it seriously, if I were going to marry someone I would have to know them for at least 1-2 years. Not that you're getting married, but to me, "I love you" is a similar kind of thing. The only person I know of who moves this fast is the Countess Luann (is there any RHONY crossover with this thread?). Anyway, I hope he's patient enough to wait to. This sounds like a great connection so far and yeah, it's happening a little quickly but you are seeing a lot of each other.

Re hotel room guy... I don't mind it. It's not offensive to me and it made me laugh. There are guys like that who just want to hook up and I get that. If you throw out lures, eventually someone will bite. It's a shame that I can't really engage because it might be fun to turn that thing into a joke but that's not what they're looking for and so we're just not compatible. I'm not saying it as a statement of fact, but at least in my experience, it tends to be the Asian guys. That is, guys of any ethnicity will throw out a lazy one or two sentence question but the Asian guys will come right out and say (in messages, not in their profiles) that they're only looking to hook up... which is particularly annoying for me.

Yeah, its kind of fast for me, but we talked about it and he doesn't expect me to say it back until I'm ready.  I don't watch RHONY anymore, but I got the Luann reference.

Regarding hotel room guy:  That has never happened to me with Asian guys (I'm Asian btw - don't know if I've ever disclosed that).  The Asian guys who've messaged me have always sent really respectful and sometimes long messages.

[DkNNy79]

12 hours ago, roseslg said:

@DkNNy79, did you say it back?  Do you feel like you're in love with him or at least heading there?  It's hard to tell.  Some people connect after a month and have been married for 30 + years, others need to date forever.   I am definitely not from an ILY family, hell, we barely used to hug.   My extended family is doing it more, but it still throws me.  We are not touchy feely people.  

After several months of dating Mr. roseslg I came out with the whole ILY, the first time I had ever said that to anyone.  Lo and behold, I was met with radio silence.  That night did not end well.  Needless to say, I was tempted to just break up with him then and there.  I understood why he didn't say it back, but I felt it was never going to happen.  We are now married.  

I did not say it back.  I feel that that's where I'm heading, but I don't want to say it unless I'm 100% sure.  Yeah, there was no hugging in my family growing up either.  I'm much more "affectionate" with my friends - we kiss each other on the cheek as a greeting.

I discussed it with him and he understands I'm not ready to say it back yet. 

[Enigma X]

Congrats to all of you who have been making progress and/or just having fun.

I downloaded a password keeper thing on my computer, but it was too intrusive. I uninstalled it and for some reason, it wiped out all of the 1,032 questions that I answered on OkCupid!. Honestly, I don't know if the questions were helping or hindering. Everyone I was not looking for responded. In fact, an old profile that I had when I was back home in Chicago has produced about 50 emails in the last week. Go figure!

Le sigh...

[Jaded]

Was it Last Pass?

[DkNNy79]

On ‎7‎/‎1‎/‎2016 at 6:51 PM, aradia22 said:

"He Who Has Not Been Named" has been silent since our date. No texts or communication on okc. I don't know if he's not interested or he's waiting on me. 

I reached out via text to Mr. Psych and Mr. Quiet Smile so I may have dates to report on soon. Really though I just need to find some time to send out messages again and see what happens. 

Any update on "he who has not been named"? 

[aradia22]

I reached out to him a few days ago and after a little back and forth, he asked me out Saturday. I realized I wrote the wrong day (I meant to say I was busy Saturday, not Sunday) and he was silent. I texted again this morning. I'm getting the feeling he won't be making the effort to reach out. I'm not sure if it's because he's not interested or because he's one of those guys who wants to put you in the vulnerable position where you show your interest before he reciprocates.

[DkNNy79]

25 minutes ago, aradia22 said:

I reached out to him a few days ago and after a little back and forth, he asked me out Saturday. I realized I wrote the wrong day (I meant to say I was busy Saturday, not Sunday) and he was silent. I texted again this morning. I'm getting the feeling he won't be making the effort to reach out. I'm not sure if it's because he's not interested or because he's one of those guys who wants to put you in the vulnerable position where you show your interest before he reciprocates.

I don't know, sounds like he's very non-committal.  So, you are still up in the air about Sunday right because he hasn't replied to you?  Do you give him a deadline to respond and then wash your hands of him?

[aradia22]

We just texted a bit more and he suggested maybe having dinner next week.

[aradia22]

Also, I've been texting with Mr. Quiet Smile. I think we might go out next week. He is very flirty over text. It's confusing because he's just kind of there in person but over text he's all about endearments and compliments and telling me he misses me and wants to see me.

[aradia22]

Long story short I was supposed to go out with Mr. Bad Poetry last night but he didn't respond to my last message so I assumed he wasn't going to show and I did something else instead. But he's sent up red flags for me from the beginning. I went out with my best friend tonight and she 100% doesn't want me to see him. She saw all his messages and does not approve. I wasn't really that excited to see him and I was very reluctant to give him my phone number. Do you think I should message him cutting off contact... if so, what should I say? Or should he know from his own weird behavior that it's not going to happen?

[ZaldamoWilder]

10 hours ago, aradia22 said:

Long story short I was supposed to go out with Mr. Bad Poetry last night but he didn't respond to my last message so I assumed he wasn't going to show and I did something else instead. But he's sent up red flags for me from the beginning. I went out with my best friend tonight and she 100% doesn't want me to see him. She saw all his messages and does not approve. I wasn't really that excited to see him and I was very reluctant to give him my phone number. Do you think I should message him cutting off contact... if so, what should I say? Or should he know from his own weird behavior that it's not going to happen?

Mildly alarming.  Does she think he's unsafe or did the poetry thing throw her off? You don't have to answer me I'm just being nosy at this point - what was he saying (gist) to weird the both of you out?

Normally I'd say let him know, but not responding when have plans is a blow off.  I don't think you owe him the courtesy.  If he gets in touch I vote for something short and direct "it won't work out/ we're not a good match".  

Any follow up with ice cream parlor guy? Mr. Agreeable?  he sounded nice. 

[roseslg]

Yeah, any follow up with the other guys?  Mr. quiet smile?  Things seem to be somewhat promising.

Yeah, if someone blew me off and didn't have the decency to say that they were cancelling or try to reschedule, then whatever their follow up message was would be blackholed.   

 

[ZaldamoWilder]

5 hours ago, roseslg said:

Yeah, any follow up with the other guys?  Mr. quiet smile?  Things seem to be somewhat promising.

Yeah, if someone blew me off and didn't have the decency to say that they were cancelling or try to reschedule, then whatever their follow up message was would be blackholed.   

 

 I'm sorry, I wore the replay button out!  the last 6 seconds are EVERYTHING!!!  LMAO!!!

[aradia22]

Quote

Mildly alarming.  Does she think he's unsafe or did the poetry thing throw her off? You don't have to answer me I'm just being nosy at this point - what was he saying (gist) to weird the both of you out?

She thought he was unsafe and made me promise not to see him. I was wary from the beginning because his profile is full of weird mentions of being into Japanese culture (I'm Asian. He is not.) and he only has one photo and he's wearing a trilby in it. But I was trying to be open so I responded when he struck up a conversation. Aside from the Japanese thing, things were normal enough discussing possible dates until the terrible poem came up. My last suggestion was a movie... and when I wasn't replying he suggested watching an movie in the park on his portable DVD player with his last line being the very ominous "I won't give up until you say "Yes"." NOT OK. I let it slide but I was definitely keeping him at a distance. We set up the movie date but I didn't give him my number. The day before the date I messaged him to confirm and he didn't reply so I made other plans. Now he's pushing to go out again. I just broke off contact. I don't see this going anywhere.

Texting a little with Mr. Ice Cream Parlor but we haven't made plans.

I think I'm seeing Mr. Quiet Smile on Saturday.

I was texting with Mr. Psych but he didn't respond to my last two texts so I don't know what's going on with him.

[aradia22]

Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you. When I was out with my friend and about to show her Mr. Quiet Smile's photo, we discovered that he's deleted his profile on okc. I'm not sure how to interpret that.

[aradia22]

I went out with Mr. Quiet Smile today. Well, I'm getting ahead of myself. We were going to see a show so I went early to wait for tickets and the guy next to me happened to be a guy I was talking to on okc in early June (he stopped responding). We talked for about an hour after I'd recognized him. He'd be an OK friend but no sparks so I'm not upset that didn't pan out. Then I came back for the show at night. We weren't seated together so we only talked at intermission and a bit afterwards when he walked me to the bus stop a few blocks away. So... here's the bad news. Irrational anger and resentment. I know this feeling. This is the feeling I get when I know for sure I'm not into a guy and little things he does that should not annoy me (irrational) suddenly annoy the crap out of me. I start to become a bad date, kind of testing the boundaries. I mean, I don't do anything crazy but I'll disconnect. I don't turn the charm on. I'll let the pauses linger (especially with the guys who aren't that talkative). I'll feel more free to do my own thing in a... well, I've stopped caring about impressing you kind of way. Maybe I'm overreacting and it was a fluke bad date. I still think he's more flirty over text and rather dull in person but I was also in a mood. I think we're seeing each other Thursday. If I'm right about this, it'll probably be our last date.

Still silence from Mr. Psych.