One is the Loneliest Number: Unpopular GG Opinions

[HeySandyStrange]

Aren't parents of teenagers supposed to be somewhat controlling?  I mean, there are definitely things that my kids will and will not be allowed to do.  I don't just give them carte blanche.  As to narrow-minded, all I could say is that the apple didn't fall far from the tree on that score. 

 

I guess to me it depends on the type of control being exercised. Over how late you kid stays out, the kinds of company they keep, if they are following rules meant to protect their safety, then of course a parent need to lay down the law to their teens. But trying to control the child's way of thinking/feeling or their preferences? That is overdoing it.  The elder Gilmores did the latter to an extant, not unlike Mama Kim. Plus they were still trying to control Lorelai way into her 30s, way after it was necessary.

 

I do agree that Lorelai was nothing if not her parents child in many ways, whether she saw herself that way or not. I'm guessing that is part of the reason why ,for instance, her relationship with Emily was so contentious. They were both so stubborn and self-involved that they couldn't see things from the other's perspective.

Edited February 24, 2015 by HeySandyStrange

[solotrek]

Honestly, what were Lorelai's big complaints with her parents? That they didn't understand her, and made her feel bad? That they made her feel stifled? Boo hoo. Spoiled teenager hates her parents. News at 11.

 

I like to call it "first world problems" and then focus it tighter to be "1 percent problems". She thought her mom was controlling to the point that she thought it'd be appropriate to compare her to Pol Pot, Hitler, and Stalin? GTFO. This is definitely something where once I got over my "my parents are too controlling/I'm my own person" phase, I got tired of.

[amensisterfriend]

I guess my opinion on this issue is the unpopular one! Be gentle, please, but I totally get why Lorelai had major issues with her parents and felt compelled to pull away from them for stretches of her life. I've had the dubious pleasure of being related to a few Emily Gilmores----impossibly snobby, rigid, critical, judgmental, harsh, unreasonable and often just plain mean. No one's claiming that Richard and Emily treated Lorelai horribly by 'real world' standards or even that they didn't love her, and lord knows Lorelai herself played quite a significant role in perpetuating their endless cycle of dysfunction. But I guess I just totally get why Lorelai would feel the need to distance herself from such toxic people who belittled pretty much every aspect of her being and her past and current choices at every opportunity. Was she more extreme about it than she should have been, particularly given that her distance meant Rory didn't have the opportunity to form much of a relationship with her grandparents while growing up? Yes, absolutely, but I get it nonetheless!  

[txhorns79]

But I guess I just totally get why Lorelai would feel the need to distance herself from such toxic people who belittled pretty much every aspect of her being and her past and current choices at every opportunity.

 

I would say it was more of a two way street on that.  From Emily and Richard's view, Lorelai not only walked out on them, but threw everything they gave her back in their faces.  Lorelai passed the ultimate judgment on them when she walked out, essentially publicly declaring that they weren't fit to be her parents, or otherwise have any kind of place in she and Rory's life.  That's pretty devastating.     

 

I would also say It's hard for me to figure out if Emily and Richard's treatment of Lorelai during the series was something that stemmed from the fact that Lorelai cut them off as a teenager (i.e. the relationship never matured past that point), or whether this was something that would have happened no matter what.     

[readster]

 

I would also say It's hard for me to figure out if Emily and Richard's treatment of Lorelai during the series was something that stemmed from the fact that Lorelai cut them off as a teenager (i.e. the relationship never matured past that point), or whether this was something that would have happened no matter what.

 

 Which is a very good question. I do believe that both Emily and Richard had a very certain view of the world and how you and others should be in it. Let's face it, there were many times they turned a blind eye to even the thought of someone being a jerk or doing something hurtful (Hutzbergers, Straube, Christopher). Or that someone did well very well for themselves despite things and were happy with their life (Lorelai). However, I think it was the fact that Lorelai had to go: "My parents are evil" vibe she needed to move on past her teen views, which never matured on either when she took Rory away from that lifestyle. How in "Those are strings Pinocchio." When Richard set Rory up for an enrollment interview in which Emily, Lorelai and Rory thought Richard went too far and should have just said he had an interview set up for Rory if she was interested. Instead of basically throwing her through the admissions door. 

  Emily's constant feeling that Lorelai and Christopher should finally be one big happy family with Rory should have been squashed years ago with Christopher constantly not seeing Rory and his problems with jobs until he was in his mid 30s and how his parents acted. Yet: "You are good society." attitude she constantly took for over 20 years. True story, a friend of my brother had something similar happen with his parents and he was an "oops" and they got married almost 15 years later after both had failed marriages and other kids well after college. However, their parents were: "Well, if it works out, great but if not I'm not going to force the 'happy family' on them." 

[cheezwhiz346]

I totally get why Lorelai had major issues with her parents and felt compelled to pull away from them for stretches of her life.

 

Yeah, I have actually never had a problem with her doing that. I'm actually very close with my parents but do not live close to them specifically because they have some different expectations for me than I have for myself, and I don't want constant reminders of that. And they are nowhere near Emily and Richard territory (particularly Emily) in terms of being controlling. I mean, even ignoring Emily's behavior in season 5 and Wedding Bell Blues (and Lorelai's inexplicable return to FND), she would still often refuse to give Lorelai the boundaries she asked for. And Lorelai isn't completely innocent in how she treated her parents, obviously, but ignoring people's boundaries, even if you think you have the 'right' to because you are their parent, is something I'm not going to sympathize with.

[solotrek]

I always thought the issue was that Lorelai never got over her petulant teenageness and her parents never got over seeing her as a teenager.  As txhorns79 said, the relationship never got past that point.

 

Honestly, aside from Rory and Richard with each other (I realize now how weird that sounds), that entire family had relationship issues with each other. And maybe if the show wasn't so dismissive of therapists/psychologists, would have really benefited from a few sessions. Or maybe not, seeing how Lorelai took sane advice about Luke and turned it into something over the top.

 

Edit: If anything, we could have gotten a Gilmore Girls scene like this.

Edited February 25, 2015 by solotrek

[readster]

I always thought the issue was that Lorelai never got over her petulant teenageness and her parents never got over seeing her as a teenager.  As txhorns79 said, the relationship never got past that point.

 

Honestly, aside from Rory and Richard with each other (I realize now how weird that sounds), that entire family had relationship issues with each other. And maybe if the show wasn't so dismissive of therapists/psychologists, would have really benefited from a few sessions. Or maybe not, seeing how Lorelai took sane advice about Luke and turned it into something over the top.

 

 It was definitely something from column A and column B.

[Aloeonatable]

I feel that when Lorelai was a child, and a teen, her parents expected certain behaviors that Lorelai just didn't want to adhere to or participate in. I don't think she had any choice as to how she was to act or even think (opine.) One scene comes to mind early in the series, maybe even the first episode, where Lorelai and Rory are at a wedding at the Inn where Lorelai observes a mother scolding her daughter about her dress. That kind of controlling behavior on the part of the mother reminded Lorelai of her own mother's demands and why she took Rory away from that kind of expectations. I'll bet Lorelai had no choice on whether she wanted to participate in debutante balls, who she could associate with and where she could go. I do see her teenage rebellion as a result of that stifling. 

[txhorns79]

I'll bet Lorelai had no choice on whether she wanted to participate in debutante balls, who she could associate with and where she could go. I do see her teenage rebellion as a result of that stifling.

 

Honestly, I saw Lorelai as essentially doing mostly what she wanted, at least from the little bit of flashback we saw and from the stories Lorelai occasionally told about her teenage years.  I mean, when she saw her parents weren't home, she got into the liquor and had sex with her boyfriend.  That doesn't really strike me as someone who is feeling stifled, so much as it's a teenager making poor decisions.  I don't pretend Emily wasn't strict or controlling, and she obviously had some out of control moments during the series, but I think that was partially in reaction to the years of estrangement and dysfunction between she and Lorelai.   

[GreenScreenFX]

As someone who grew up in a household almost identical to Lorelai's, I can say that yes (for me anyway) the expectations to participate in those popumpus affairs are mandatory. I suspect Lorelai hated every second of them and was probably a nightmare child for Emily. I imagine every single event was a battle. I can TOTALLY see why she was a little rebel when her parents weren't around.

[junienmomo]

Looks like table for a dozen, ASF. :)

Richard and Emily were totally in denial that any lifestyle other than theirs was acceptable. That was also true for them with each other. Richard having a secret annual date with the woman his mother preferred is despicable. Emily (and I'm no Emily apologist) at least tried to do her best for her husband, seeing herself as his partner and deserving to be treated as such.

 

From the moment she burned her baby pictures, Lorelai's parents should have gotten a clue that Lorelai was a "my way or the highway" person. Of course, that denial thing came into play.

I see Lorelai as an ultimatum person:

• you think my head's too big - ok, get rid of the pictures
• you won't let me care for my own baby in my way - I'm outa here
• nobody gets to raise Rory but her
• ...

When you're in a relationship with people in such strong denial, ultimatums are worth trying, but they really can be like an A-bomb to the relationship. Those in denial see their ultimatums as simply the right way to do things. Sometimes an A-bomb is all that brings you to a semblance of peace.

I do give Lorelai and Emily props in the first seasons for trying to repair the relationship. Richard, he didn't try so hard.

[txhorns79]

I see Lorelai as an ultimatum person:

    you think my head's too big - ok, get rid of the pictures

    you won't let me care for my own baby in my way - I'm outa here

    nobody gets to raise Rory but her

 

I'm not sure Lorelai really gave her parents ultimatums as to any of those things.  The "big head" thing was treated as a one off joke in the beginning of an episode and never mentioned again.  My impression as to Lorelai running away was that she simply did it.  She never told or warned her parents what was going to happen.  Even as to Rory, Lorelai did tell her parents who was in charge, but she never really did so in ultimatum fashion. 

 

I would entirely agree that Lorelai was stubborn and prepared to take action to ensure things were her way.

[solotrek]

A lot of people here called Lane spoiled and entitled back when we were discussing her. And really, Lorelai was as spoiled and entitled - probably even more so.

 

Emily and Lorelai is basically Mrs Kim and Lane.  It essentially boiled down to: "Live my way, follow my rules, or get out" except it was coming from the opposite side. Emily made the rules and Lorelai didn't want to follow them so she ran away. Mrs. Kim made the rules and Lane didn't want to follow them, so she was kicked out. And then when Mrs. Kim wanted to basically raise Lane's children her way, they had another falling out.

 

The difference is, Lane and Mrs. Kim tried hard to meet in the middle. Mrs. Kim helped eventually allowed Lane her own life: helped her band go on tour; helped with the wedding; etc... Lane realized all the sacrifices her mom made for her.
 

LANE: I'm about to be a mother.

LORELAI: Um, mothers can have parties.

LANE: Not for themselves. They only do things for their children. She did everything for me. And...I'm... gonna be the same way.

 

Emily and Lorelai were both too stubborn to be able to do that. Their entire relationship was stuck in one gear and everything was 2 steps forward 3 steps back. For the most part, Emily kept seeing Lorelai as a teenager making mistakes like "she's dating Luke because she doesn't know any better" (paraphrase) and treated her as such. And Lorelai dealt with her parents the same way a teenager would, snarky comments and outbursts. If someone is in her 30's and her response to her mom trying to break up her and her boyfriend is "she's worse than Stalin, Pol Pot, Hitler, and Mussolini", I'm definitely questioning the emotional maturity of the person.

[junienmomo]

If someone is in her 30's and her response to her mom trying to break up her and her boyfriend is "she's worse than Stalin, Pol Pot, Hitler, and Mussolini", I'm definitely questioning the emotional maturity of the person.

 

Totally agreeing with you here. Some form of the dictator analogy was used in more places, I believe, notably the article for the magazine, and earlier when trying to figure out why Emily couldn't keep a maid.

[txhorns79]

Emily made the rules and Lorelai didn't want to follow them so she ran away.

 

I guess the difference to me is that we never saw Emily pull a Mrs. Kim with Lorelai, like Mrs. Kim did with Lane.  I mean, I would agree with Mrs. Kim that the children don't make the rules, and Mrs. Kim has a right to enforce her rules in her own home, even if I think a more mature person would try to work something out with their kid (since I don't think anyone could plausibly argue that what Lane was doing was something that no parent should ever have to accept).  With Lorelai, she just kind of blew up her relationship with her parents.  Maybe it would have eventually come down to an ultimatum between Lorelai and Emily/Richard and Lorelai would have felt she had to leave, but I felt like Lorelai skipped all the in between steps and immediately went nuclear.   

[solotrek]

I guess the difference to me is that we never saw Emily pull a Mrs. Kim with Lorelai, like Mrs. Kim did with Lane.  I mean, I would agree with Mrs. Kim that the children don't make the rules, and Mrs. Kim has a right to enforce her rules in her own home, even if I think a more mature person would try to work something out with their kid (since I don't think anyone could plausibly argue that what Lane was doing was something that no parent should ever have to accept).  With Lorelai, she just kind of blew up her relationship with her parents.  Maybe it would have eventually come down to an ultimatum between Lorelai and Emily/Richard and Lorelai would have felt she had to leave, but I felt like Lorelai skipped all the in between steps and immediately went nuclear.   

For sure we didn't see an Emily pull a Mrs. Kim. But it does seem like her house then (and even "now") was very "these are the house rules and these are the rules of conduct". And since Lorelai didn't feel like dealing with any of that so she left. Whereas even then, Lane tried to negotiate with her mom to be more reasonable. I am definitely part of the camp of, "parents make the rules of the house" (within reason obviously).

 

But yes I agree with you, Lorelai was definitely the type to skip steps and give ultimatums be it in her head or in real life.

Edited February 26, 2015 by solotrek

[Luciano]

I think Lorelai went nuclear because of Rory. I wish we could have seen how they interacted right after Rory was born, but I could definitely see Emily being controlling in how the baby was being raised. Lorelai moved out like a year after she gave birth, so it would have been months of nagging about how to raise a kid, oh, why didn't you marry Christopher (they were still harping on it 20 years after, imagine how it was just months after), we had such high hopes for you, you're seventeen with a child already, can we really trust your judgment, etc. That can wear you out to the point that you can just get to a place where you're just done. No ultimatums because you just want out, no negotiations. Having a child of your own would probably make you getting to that place a lot quicker because now you want to remove her from an environment of constant tension.

I agree that Adult Lorelai needed to let go of teenage resentments in order to move on with her relationships to her parents, but I could see why Teenage Lorelai would bolt at that time.

Edited February 26, 2015 by Luciano

[readster]

I think Lorelai went nuclear because of Rory. I wish we could have seen how they interacted right after Rory was born, but I could definitely see Emily being controlling in how the baby was being raised. Lorelai moved out like a year after she gave birth, so it would have been months of nagging about how to raise a kid, oh, why didn't you marry Christopher (they were still harping on it 20 years after, imagine how it was just months after), we had such high hopes for you, you're seventeen with a child already, can we really trust your judgment, etc. That can wear you out to the point that you can just get to a place where you're just done. No ultimatums because you just want out, no negotiations. Having a child of your own would probably make you getting to that place a lot quicker because now you want to remove her from an environment of constant tension.

I agree that Adult Lorelai needed to let go of teenage resentments in order to move on with her relationships to her parents, but I could see why Teenage Lorelai would bolt at that time.

 

 Exactly, I mean I would have like to see more flashbacks of teen Lorelai either getting the constant talk to do what Emily and Richard wanted and I would have loved to see Mrs. Kim actually listen to Lane's side of the story. But in both cases, it was: "Their house, their rules and you be damned if you don't agree with them!" At least Lane saw her mom's POV later on with her grandmother and also Mrs. Kim did start to compromise a bit. That said layers about both of them and their relationship and their rules and hiding things. Lorelei and Emily in which both Lauren Graham and Kate Bishop agreed, wished the final season would have been spent more on healing their relationship and finding common ground finally instead of putting and end of Christopher's story which they all felt had ran out a long time ago. Says a lot about the show runners.

[timimouse]

I do agree that we did see at times how demanding and unreasonable Emily could be (Rory's 16th Birthday Party) but I also think we got glimpses of how Lorelai was also very similar to her. One instance that annoyed me was when Emily hired her and Sookie to cater her cocktail party and Lorelai insisted she be treated like any other company. Now, Lorelai KNOWS how her mother treats her staff. Especially since this was after the incident with the lawsuit of wrongful dismal from the maid. Yet, when Emily DID treat her like anyone else, her attitude was HORRIBLE. All she did was complain about it. To me she did have a sense of entitlement, but it was always to be on her terms.

[JayInChicago]

This is just an aside, but I'd probably go along with any parents who wanted to feed me a fancy dinner once a week. :)  Even rabbit in rabbit sauce or escargot.

[GreenScreenFX]

As a Taco Bell connoisseur, I can assure you that a .99 cent taco is worth every penny.

[BC Mama]

A lot of people here called Lane spoiled and entitled back when we were discussing her. And really, Lorelai was as spoiled and entitled - probably even more so.

 

Emily and Lorelai is basically Mrs Kim and Lane.  It essentially boiled down to: "Live my way, follow my rules, or get out" except it was coming from the opposite side. Emily made the rules and Lorelai didn't want to follow them so she ran away. Mrs. Kim made the rules and Lane didn't want to follow them, so she was kicked out. And then when Mrs. Kim wanted to basically raise Lane's children her way, they had another falling out.

 

The difference is, Lane and Mrs. Kim tried hard to meet in the middle. Mrs. Kim helped eventually allowed Lane her own life: helped her band go on tour; helped with the wedding; etc... Lane realized all the sacrifices her mom made for her.

 

 

Emily and Lorelai were both too stubborn to be able to do that. Their entire relationship was stuck in one gear and everything was 2 steps forward 3 steps back. For the most part, Emily kept seeing Lorelai as a teenager making mistakes like "she's dating Luke because she doesn't know any better" (paraphrase) and treated her as such. And Lorelai dealt with her parents the same way a teenager would, snarky comments and outbursts. If someone is in her 30's and her response to her mom trying to break up her and her boyfriend is "she's worse than Stalin, Pol Pot, Hitler, and Mussolini", I'm definitely questioning the emotional maturity of the person.

  

Exactly, I mean I would have like to see more flashbacks of teen Lorelai either getting the constant talk to do what Emily and Richard wanted and I would have loved to see Mrs. Kim actually listen to Lane's side of the story. But in both cases, it was: "Their house, their rules and you be damned if you don't agree with them!" At least Lane saw her mom's POV later on with her grandmother and also Mrs. Kim did start to compromise a bit. That said layers about both of them and their relationship and their rules and hiding things. Lorelei and Emily in which both Lauren Graham and Kate Bishop agreed, wished the final season would have been spent more on healing their relationship and finding common ground finally instead of putting and end of Christopher's story which they all felt had ran out a long time ago. Says a lot about the show runners.

I completely agree. I really wish we had seen more progress in Lorelai and Emily's relationship. I always wondered why in a show that focused so much on the relationships between mothers and draughts, we never learned more about Emily's relationship with her own mother. The only time I remember her bring mentioned was when discussing her wedding dress. I would loved to have the context of their bond to contrast and compare.

[amensisterfriend]

Random UO: For some reason it just bothers me beyond reason that Luke stomped out of Emily and Richard's vow renewal in Wedding Bell Blues without even making sure Lorelai had another ride home or at least money for a cab. I realize this is a nitpicky detail to focus on in an episode where a whole lot of people behaved in eye-rollingly annoying ways, but for some reason this always REALLY irks me. This is almost never mentioned among Luke's missteps, but it's actually one of my least favorite Luke moments of the whole series. And, of course, he never apologizes for behaving like a temperamental toddler...because Luke almost never apologizes for anything. Argh. 

 

Other UOs re WBB:

 

Rory in a tux as Richard's 'best man' wasn't cute to me at all, just kind of...unflattering. 

 

As many problems as I have with that episode, "You and me (sic), we're done" will still always, always be among the most memorable moments of the show for me. Even knowing that this threat wasn't followed up on for more than a couple of episodes, it still elicits a reaction from me every time! 

 

I think I could watch a whole episode of Paris and Rory bonding and snarking over several games of Boggle ;) 

[readster]

 

 

As many problems as I have with that episode, "You and me (sic), we're done" will still always, always be among the most memorable moments of the show for me. Even knowing that this threat wasn't followed up on for more than a couple of episodes, it still elicits a reaction from me every time!

 

 

 Especially when Emily really didn't think of it the next episode. She thought Lorelai was just doing her usual: "I'm mad but I'll be good later." She was that oblivious to the entire situation and what she did. Of course Lorelai was horrible at taking certain situations seriously. Bringing up the maid lawsuit, when Emily read it back about what happened in court. Even Lorelai had this: "Why did I say that" look on her face. She didn't realize that it was serious subject and while she was telling the truth about how Emily treats her help it came off like: "Nah nah, you suck, HAHA!" I said for years, how Emily treated her maids how she kept getting new ones every single episode except for this. Fired one for daring to talk to Rory and another for tripping on a lump in the rug. I would have loved for several episodes if there was no maid and Emily realizing, no one wants to work for her anymore.

[txhorns79]

Especially when Emily really didn't think of it the next episode. She thought Lorelai was just doing her usual: "I'm mad but I'll be good later." She was that oblivious to the entire situation and what she did. Of course Lorelai was horrible at taking certain situations seriously. Bringing up the maid lawsuit, when Emily read it back about what happened in court. Even Lorelai had this: "Why did I say that" look on her face. She didn't realize that it was serious subject and while she was telling the truth about how Emily treats her help it came off like: "Nah nah, you suck, HAHA!" I said for years, how Emily treated her maids how she kept getting new ones every single episode except for this.

 

The maid lawsuit was a good example of Lorelai's immaturity.  Though I do love when Emily reads back Lorelai's deposition transcript to her in a "Lorelai-type" voice.  Kelly Bishop just nails that.  As to post-WBB, I really have no idea why Emily seemed surprised by Lorelai's reaction.  I chalked it up to Emily being partially delusional, and really, really self-involved. 

[readster]

The maid lawsuit was a good example of Lorelai's immaturity.  Though I do love when Emily reads back Lorelai's deposition transcript to her in a "Lorelai-type" voice.  Kelly Bishop just nails that.  As to post-WBB, I really have no idea why Emily seemed surprised by Lorelai's reaction.  I chalked it up to Emily being partially delusional, and really, really self-involved. 

 Oh, I know. My mother and I were on the floor laughing on Kelly Bishop's delivery it was so spot on. But yes, Emily's surprise much like how she kept thinking every maid she had sucked. I was like: "Hire a cleaning service then!" Of course then the running gag would have been no cleaning service is good enough for Emily Gilmore. It would have been great if they would have spent several episodes with Emily not having a maid and her trying to keep the house in order and failing at it miserably and then hiring college students for her cleaning and organizing. Of course, I really wanted to know how Emily would need a maid for so much outside of laundry but keep in mind. Emily and Richard lived in their own little worlds where: "cleanliness is closest to godliness." 

[amensisterfriend]

I know that the berating and subsequent firing of at least one maid per week thing was played for laughs, but it actually made me think that Emily is a pretty terrible human being more often than not. And her horror at Rory actually daring to converse with a maid in an early S6 episode was among Emily's most ghastly moments IMO. I was totally hoping that the maid would win that lawsuit. 

Edited February 28, 2015 by amensisterfriend

[readster]

I know that the berating and subsequent firing of at least one maid per week thing was played for laughs, but it actually made me think that Emily is a pretty terrible human being more often than not. And her horror at Rory actually daring to converse with a maid in an early S6 episode was among Emily's most ghastly moments IMO. I was totally hoping that the maid would win that lawsuit. 

 

 I completely agreed. They also played it for laughs during Richard living in the Pool house during their "separation" and Richard's butler actually lasted longer than the maids and even commented on how he had to learn a new one each week. Then of course he got the book when they made up. I wish they would have kept the butler and gotten rid of the maids. Also, showed that Richard was a lot better of an employer then Emily. Many people have commented that the maids kept working for Emily because it beat having no job at all. However, when you look at, you think companies who employ maids would go: "We don't want to work with you anymore, Mrs. Gilmore. You have never been satisfied with our service workers and they have excellent resumes and a great work history. In fact, every maid that has worked for you has worked several years in other homes. We have enjoyed your business but, seriously... go to hell!"

[txhorns79]

I know that the berating and subsequent firing of at least one maid per week thing was played for laughs, but it actually made me think that Emily is a pretty terrible human being more often than not.

 

I don't know if I would go that far.  After all, she's paying these people, and is entitled to have the work done as she wants it done.  I would say it's probably more a sign that Emily had standards that were difficult to meet, and she didn't really understand what went into upholding those standards, or otherwise thought it was much easier than it actually was. 

[amensisterfriend]

However, when you look at, you think companies who employ maids would go: "We don't want to work with you anymore, Mrs. Gilmore. You have never been satisfied with our service workers and they have excellent resumes and a great work history. In fact, every maid that has worked for you has worked several years in other homes. We have enjoyed your business but, seriously... go to hell!"

 

And then she might have to---gasp---occasionally cook and clean for herself! I am seriously dying for your idea to become a fanfic :) 

[Kohola3]

I was always very disappointed that Rory didn't see her grandmother as a despot after the maid was fired after talking to her.  Didn't Rory feel even a little pang of guilt that she cost the poor woman her job?  It's one thing to have standards of cleanliness for staff but to fire a maid for talking to the grandkid?  Where is that in anyone's job description?  It's not like she was sitting round having tea with Rory, she continued cleaning the silver while conversing.

 

I always thought that was one more piece of evidence that Rory was slipping into that uppity "I'm rich so I can be as outrageous as I want" attitude she picked up from Logan and his heinous cronies.

[dustylil]

Kohola3, if Rory some months earlier didn't see the need to stop from Logan nicking knick-knacks from the senior Gilmore home - an act which she well knew could likely result in an innocent maid being fired - I doubt she would feel much concern for this domestic worker getting the axe.

[Aloeonatable]

It's kind of ironic that Lorelai's first job was that of a maid. 

[timimouse]

It's kind of ironic that Lorelai's first job was that of a maid. 

 

I never thought of that but you're right! That may explain why she sympathised so much with Emily's employees yet treated her own staff (and other customer service reps) horribly - i.e. how rude she was to them.

[txhorns79]

It's one thing to have standards of cleanliness for staff but to fire a maid for talking to the grandkid?  Where is that in anyone's job description?  It's not like she was sitting round having tea with Rory, she continued cleaning the silver while conversing.

 

Of course, from Emily's perspective, it would be easy to say: "I didn't hire you to socialize with my granddaughter and let her help you with the cleaning."  I'm not claiming Emily was reasonable in letting the maid go, but having occasionally been annoyed listening from my office to secretaries who seem to have endless time to socialize, but don't always get the work done on time, I feel her pain.         

[solotrek]

Of course, from Emily's perspective, it would be easy to say: "I didn't hire you to socialize with my granddaughter and let her help you with the cleaning."  I'm not claiming Emily was reasonable in letting the maid go, but having occasionally been annoyed listening from my office to secretaries who seem to have endless time to socialize, but don't always get the work done on time, I feel her pain.         

I thought it was more from her not wanting Rory to associate with people "beneath her". Hence her getting a maid she made sure Rory wouldn't be able to converse with right after.

 

I was always very disappointed that Rory didn't see her grandmother as a despot after the maid was fired after talking to her.  Didn't Rory feel even a little pang of guilt that she cost the poor woman her job?  It's one thing to have standards of cleanliness for staff but to fire a maid for talking to the grandkid?  Where is that in anyone's job description?  It's not like she was sitting round having tea with Rory, she continued cleaning the silver while conversing.

 

I always thought that was one more piece of evidence that Rory was slipping into that uppity "I'm rich so I can be as outrageous as I want" attitude she picked up from Logan and his heinous cronies.

 

 

Wasn't that the first day at her Grandparent's house? I thought it was more from trying to not be in her grandmother's way and letting her be the crazy despot she is. Rory never got into Emily's business about how she treated anyone, quite honestly, probably wasn't her place. I thought that whole thing was to show that Rory was the opposite of the uppity WASP-ness of Emily and her DAR group. That she could just hang out and chat with anyone.

[txhorns79]

I thought it was more from her not wanting Rory to associate with people "beneath her". Hence her getting a maid she made sure Rory wouldn't be able to converse with right after.

 

That could be true as well. 

[dustylil]

timimouse. I am somewhat confused. Perhaps I am misremembering, but where and when did Lorelai treat her own staff horribly? And to what customer service reps are you referring?

 

Personally, I never thought Lorelai being a maid was particularly ironic but as a logical and reasonable choice. She was attempting to find work in a touristy part of Connecticut. She was female, likely under eighteen years of age, had no skill set and less than a high school education. There weren't too many fields of endeavour that would have been open to her.

 

Why Emily didn't hire a housekeeper and have him or her deal with the recruiting, training, managing and dismissing of staff puzzled me. It seemed like a waste of a great deal of her own time. Nor was  it something she seemed to either enjoy or be good at.

[solotrek]

Why Emily didn't hire a housekeeper and have him or her deal with the recruiting, training, managing and dismissing of staff puzzled me. It seemed like a waste of a great deal of her own time. Nor was  it something she seemed to either enjoy or be good at.

 

Probably because no one she'd hire to train would be good enough and she'd fire them anyway. So she'd be hiring and firing someone to train a staff AND basically a new staff as well. She's a hell of a micro manager.

[txhorns79]

Why Emily didn't hire a housekeeper and have him or her deal with the recruiting, training, managing and dismissing of staff puzzled me.

 

Did Emily ever have more than one maid?  I mean, this wasn't Downton Abbey, so it would seem kind of silly to hire someone to deal with your one servant. 

[solotrek]

Did Emily ever have more than one maid?  I mean, this wasn't Downton Abbey, so it would seem kind of silly to hire someone to deal with your one servant. 

There were a few episodes here and there where she had a maid and a cook. Other times the maid was also the cook.

[dustylil]

The senior Gilmores also had other ongoing services like yard work (broadly speaking - gardening, pool maintenance, snow shovelling, etc.). There would also be catering providers for their personal and business entertaining.

[txhorns79]

The senior Gilmores also had other ongoing services like yard work (broadly speaking - gardening, pool maintenance, snow shovelling, etc.). There would also be catering providers for their personal and business entertaining.

 

Those aren't really things you need a housekeeper to oversee.  Maybe if the Gilmore's had people on staff performing those kind of services, that might be necessary, but otherwise, you don't really need to hire a housekeeper to oversee the guy who cleans your pool once a week or every other week, or who comes once a week to mow the lawn/help with the seasonal planting.  Even if you could afford it, it's kind of a waste unless the housekeeper has a large, regular house staff to oversee.  Otherwise, at least from what we saw, at most, she might just be overseeing one maid or perhaps a maid and a cook.        

[timimouse]

timimouse. I am somewhat confused. Perhaps I am misremembering, but where and when did Lorelai treat her own staff horribly? And to what customer service reps are you referring?

 

It's been highlighted in this thread previously and I agree that she was rather rude to persons in the customer services industry. Demanding coffee and basically any time she wanted anything, I don't think she was particularly nice about asking for it. Even that day that Richard spent in Stars Hollow with her and he told her off for being unprofessional on a business call, he was right. I don't deny how annoying he was that day but that I think he was right about. Nowhere in the real world could you talk to someone like that.

 

Why Emily didn't hire a housekeeper and have him or her deal with the recruiting, training, managing and dismissing of staff puzzled me. It seemed like a waste of a great deal of her own time. Nor was  it something she seemed to either enjoy or be good at.

 

I think she really did enjoy it. Somewhat sadistically. 

Edited March 1, 2015 by timimouse

[dustylil]

timimouse you know, I can't recall any of the principal characters in the series whom I would describe as courteous. Of course, I am Canadian. We expect a lot :)

 

I too think Emily enjoyed tormenting the domestic staff. Whether she saw them as representing in some fashion her wayward, disobedient daughter or was simply incapable of managing a staff, I have no idea.

Edited March 1, 2015 by dustylil

[junienmomo]

timimouse. I am somewhat confused. Perhaps I am misremembering, but where and when did Lorelai treat her own staff horribly? And to what customer service reps are you referring?

Sookie called Lorelai out on micromanaging with an analogy to Emily's desptotism right after the Dragonfly opened. Lorelai was way over the top at that point.

[junienmomo]

Random UO: For some reason it just bothers me beyond reason that Luke stomped out of Emily and Richard's vow renewal in Wedding Bell Blues without even making sure Lorelai had another ride home or at least money for a cab. I realize this is a nitpicky detail to focus on in an episode where a whole lot of people behaved in eye-rollingly annoying ways, but for some reason this always REALLY irks me. This is almost never mentioned among Luke's missteps, but it's actually one of my least favorite Luke moments of the whole series. 

 

I noticed this too, ASF, during a recent re-listen (I was driving, so no watching, just letting the sound run on a lot of the first ten episodes of S5.)

After he returned from Maine, Luke was very patient as he was bombarded with craziness from Lorelai, Liz and TJ, even meeting Emily and Richard. He works through the one event with Christopher that Lorelai told him about by discussing it with (ick) TJ, then telling Lorelai that he's ok with it. 

Then comes WBB, when the only true surprises are tequila night with Christopher, Emily's conspiracy and Rory's in flagrante delicto. Fair enough that he's pissed when Lorelai suddenly feels the need to tell him about tequila night (can anyone say couples counseling needed?) Suddenly Luke goes nuclear and storms off. 

Very OOC and over the top for S5 Luke.

 

My wish for fanfiction in this timeframe is one at the point when Lorelai returns his answering machine tape. They'd both been saying their truths (she wants to talk, he'd never said it was over, just that it was maybe too hard), but he looks blankly at her as she uses terms like 'it's over' and her 'ex.'

I wish they'd shown the gradual coming back together more clearly. Too many viewers mistakenly attribute the reconciliation to Emily's visit to the diner, but the couple had clearly started longing for each other and putting themselves in places to be in contact before then. Emily's visit was a catalyst more than "the reason."

[junienmomo]

<quote about maid companies refusing to work with Emily>

 

And then she might have to---gasp---occasionally cook and clean for herself! I am seriously dying for your idea to become a fanfic :) 

Emily prided herself on having high standards and paying better than anyone else.

 

Service suppliers were probably getting a cut for each time a new person was sent, but it would still be a miserable job finding new candidates.

I do, however, have the perfect candidate: Lane.

;) 

[KatWay]

 

if Rory some months earlier didn't see the need to stop from Logan nicking knick-knacks from the senior Gilmore home - an act which she well knew could likely result in an innocent maid being fired - I doubt she would feel much concern for this domestic worker getting the axe.

Good point.