Parental Units And Other Adults Of Note

[f1still]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5613193/Willis-sister-Jessica-speaks-abuse-left-family.html

Willis Clan sister Jessica describes how her father began molesting her when she was three and explains what finally drove her to escape the family after 20 years of beatings and abuse

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5613193/Willis-sister-Jessica-speaks-abuse-left-family.html#ixzz5CaUH0PVB 
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Jessica Willis Fisher, now 26, is the oldest of the 12 children in The Willis Clan 

Her family of 14 formed a popular country music band and were likened to the Sound of Music

They shot to fame on America's Got Talent and were then given their own show

In 2016, father Toby was arrested for child sex offenses and was later jailed 

In a blog published on Friday, Jessica described how he beat and abused her

She and her siblings discussed parts of the abuse with their mother Brenda

All were too afraid of Toby to report him because he could be so violent 

He beat Jessica on their tour bus and banned her from using technology  

In April 2016, four months before his arrest, he beat the Jessica with a belt

She used a secret phone she hid between her mattress and box spring to call a friend for help and was able to escape 

[SunnyBeBe]

These new revelations cast a new light on my previous concern over the mother's failure to notice anything unusual about the father's behavior toward the daughters.   I posted somewhere upthread about that.  I'll have to read things carefully, but, I was skeptical as to how that much abuse was going on with multiple children and the mother was totally unaware.  I'm just very skeptical of that. It seemed right after the father's sentencing that the children were all in support of her.  They must have so many conflicting feelings. 

...............okay. I read the article and it's clear that the mother knew about the abuse for years.  Why is the mother not being charged with abuse or neglect?  How is she deemed fit to parent at this point?  I'd be livid. I wonder if officials or other family members will intervene.  What's to say that she would not allow another man to abuse the minors? 

Maybe, the children don't have the courage to be angry with their mother, but, others will be.  You can bet that there will be a hellstorm that comes down for her.  And, if they want to continue performing, mother may need to get out of the picture.   No one wants to support a parent who acts like she did. 

Edited April 13, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[Loves2Dance]

1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

These new revelations cast a new light on my previous concern over the mother's failure to notice anything unusual about the father's behavior toward the daughters.   I posted somewhere upthread about that.  I'll have to read things carefully, but, I was skeptical as to how that much abuse was going on with multiple children and the mother was totally unaware.  I'm just very skeptical of that. It seemed right after the father's sentencing that the children were all in support of her.  They must have so many conflicting feelings. 

...............okay. I read the article and it's clear that the mother knew about the abuse for years.  Why is the mother not being charged with abuse or neglect?  How is she deemed fit to parent at this point?  I'd be livid. I wonder if officials or other family members will intervene.  What's to say that she would not allow another man to abuse the minors? 

Maybe, the children don't have the courage to be angry with their mother, but, others will be.  You can bet that there will be a hellstorm that comes down for her.  And, if they want to continue performing, mother may need to get out of the picture.   No one wants to support a parent who acts like she did. 

My guess is that she was also abused/victimized herself and they chose not to go after her. For the life of me, I can't understand why. Those poor children...

[Whyyouneedaname]

How could she have left those small kids home with him while they were filming in New York!! she may have been victimized but she still had a responsibility to protect those babies! 

[RedheadZombie]

How old is Jair?  I find it disturbing that knowing how much Jessica was being abused, he ran and tattled to their father which resulted in another beating for Jessica. 

[Whyyouneedaname]

He would've been 22 I think, too old for that, you'd think he'd protect his siblings being the oldest son! Would def think twice before marrying this prick, oh boy I'm all sorts of fuming now!

[Loves2Dance]

And to think, Jair was one of the 6 who did the live interview a few months back. One of the brothers claimed total ignorance---clearly, that was a lie. 

I admire Jessica for being so open and honest, but I'll be honest and say that it paints her family even worse than anyone previously imagined and largely changed my outlook of even their most recent interview.

I can't remember the name of the girl Jair was dating---Mary maybe?---I'm so glad she ran away! 

[2727]

14 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

And, if they want to continue performing, mother may need to get out of the picture. 

Can people really enjoy their concerts, buy their music, or go see them dancing now? Aside from who knew or didn't know or who did what, it would just be too damned sad for me.

My hope is that they all find peace and fulfillment outside the entertainment business.

[Misslindsey]

I cannot really place any blame on any of the kids. Toby may not have sexually assaulted the boys, but they probably were physically and emotionally abused as well. I got the impression in that interview with the older kids earlier this year that the boys did not know about the sexual abuse. In Jessica's blog it seemed like Toby would make serious threats (like killing her boyfriend or threats against their family) and was good at manipulation. It seemed that everyone in the family was walking on eggshells around Toby. I think it is horrible Brenda did not speak up, but Toby was probably doing a serious number on her as well. I do not have kids, but I cannot imagine seeing your kids being abused and doing nothing. I really hope everyone in that family is getting the help they need.

[ghoulina]

I try not to judge people in positions I haven't been in. And I realize their mother may have been abused in ways as well. But, I'm sorry, if one of my kids ever came to me and told me that someone had molested them, I'd be hard pressed not to slit their fucking throat. I know that sounds strong. But I was molested as a kid. The consequences are lifelong. I would die before I'd let that happen to my babies. 

 

The kids I give more of a pass too. We've seen how these type of family dynamics really stunt emotional and mental maturity. 

[Scarlett45]

23 hours ago, Misslindsey said:

I cannot really place any blame on any of the kids. Toby may not have sexually assaulted the boys, but they probably were physically and emotionally abused as well. I got the impression in that interview with the older kids earlier this year that the boys did not know about the sexual abuse. In Jessica's blog it seemed like Toby would make serious threats (like killing her boyfriend or threats against their family) and was good at manipulation. It seemed that everyone in the family was walking on eggshells around Toby. I think it is horrible Brenda did not speak up, but Toby was probably doing a serious number on her as well. I do not have kids, but I cannot imagine seeing your kids being abused and doing nothing. I really hope everyone in that family is getting the help they need.

I give the kids a pass as well. They were all under the authority of that evil man, and were were all probably abused in various ways. I’m sure they love each other and felt lots of conflict etc about who they should be loyal to.

Brenda not so much. I don’t doubt he had a hold on her as well, but she knew and did nothing to stop it. She had a responsibility to protect her kids. Of course the kids have a right to love and respect their mother etc, I’m sure it’s complicated for them; and that’s really for them to work through on their own (with help from professionals if they wish). 

Edited April 15, 2018 by Scarlett45
Grammar is nice

[slasherboy]

On St. Patrick's Day the family (I don't know how many ... maybe all of them) performed at some kind of St. Patrick's Day event here in Nashville.  I considered going just to see what was what, but didn't.  So they're still putting themselves out there.

[SunnyBeBe]

When you bring children into the world and you are the only parent who can protect them, you don't have the luxury of just staying silent, imo.  Regardless of the risks, you have to try to protect them and get them to a safe place, imo.   And then to have the nerve to go on tv and act like you have a happy family....boggles the mind.  Brenda should be charged too, imo.  She knew what her husband was like and she kept covering for him and having more and more kids with him. Basically providing him with more victims.   So infuriating. 

I think the children could continue to enjoy performing, if that's what they like, and it would pay well, but, I don't think it will continue to do that if the MOTHER is also benefiting.  If she is still getting paid and reaping the benefits of the proceeds, the ticket buyers will likely resent it.  Plus, feel bad, because there is a very cruel mother in charge of those minors!  It boggles the mind really.  I wish they could find a better guardian for them.  If she was too intimidated to save them from the father, then she STILL needs to step aside and go into therapy.  AFTER she gets out of prison.  She could allow another predator to harm them. 

Edited April 15, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[OldButHappy]

Jessica just posted her story on a Reddit thread:

It's horrifying to me how many people I know were subjected to sexual abuse in their families.  

[ghoulina]

3 hours ago, OldButHappy said:

It's horrifying to me how many people I know were subjected to sexual abuse in their families.  

Isn't it? I was molested by my step-brother. It made me terrified to sleep in a house with a man, other than my father. I was afraid of my own grandfathers, who never laid a hand on me! Now that I have a daughter, I get such anxiety if I leave her in a house with men. I love all my BILs to death; they are good people. But I can't help but be scared of the same thing happening to her. 

[OldButHappy]

4 hours ago, ghoulina said:

But I can't help but be scared of the same thing happening to her. 

I'm so sorry that you had to endure that, G!  Abuse has impacted my friends on so many levels.  And I don't think your fear is irrational.  None of the perps that I know gave any outward indication of their perversion - just the opposite - all were well respected in the community.  That side of men is only revealed to their victims, and more often than not, the victims were blamed, disbelieved,  or ostracized by their families if they finally got the courage to tell the truth.

Thank you for your honesty - the only way that we can make the world a safer place for future generations of children is to break the shackles of shame that keep victims silent so that we can bring these creeps out of the shadows...

Edited April 17, 2018 by OldButHappy

[slasherboy]

On 4/15/2018 at 7:55 AM, SunnyBeBe said:

I think the children could continue to enjoy performing, if that's what they like, and it would pay well, but, I don't think it will continue to do that if the MOTHER is also benefiting.  If she is still getting paid and reaping the benefits of the proceeds, the ticket buyers will likely resent it.  Plus, feel bad, because there is a very cruel mother in charge of those minors!  It boggles the mind really.  I wish they could find a better guardian for them.  If she was too intimidated to save them from the father, then she STILL needs to step aside and go into therapy.  AFTER she gets out of prison.  She could allow another predator to harm them. 

 

This is strictly my opinion, but I seriously doubt many people know anything about this other than the initial news that he was arrested for sexual assault and is in prison.  We've taken it upon ourselves to dig deeper, but I doubt the general public knows the mother knew as much as she did.  My thoughts are that people will go see the family, with or without the mother, because they enjoy the novelty of it, they enjoy the music, and they get a kick out of it.  They probably don't give the sexual background a second thought.

I could be wrong, but this is just what I think.

That said, I think the mother is despicable for not doing anything about it.  How dare she.  She should be deeply ashamed.

Edited April 17, 2018 by slasherboy
Edited to point out that I put the bold emphasis on the sentence in this post.

[Pingaponga]

To argue from where Brenda was likely coming from, she was in an environment and faith where the husband is the head of the family and is to be obeyed by everyone.  And for whatever reason, she believed his lies (or kept telling herself they were lies), and did what her god said - obey and follow her husband.

Now, I don't agree with that all. We have all free will, we all have brains, and if there is a God, well He gave us these things to use them.

But my friend met a fundamentalist man at university, got baptized in his church, and married him about 18 years ago.  He was a lawyer until he was asked to become pastor of his church. He was pastor for a couple of years until the church elders discovered he had been disbarred by the law society for taking money clients had entrusted to him, and for forging a judge's signature. He was kicked out of the church.  He still claims the story was wrong, even though basic research shows that not only did he plead guilty to these crimes, he actually spent a year under house arrest while a pastor - he was allowed to leave home to conduct church business, but that's it.  My friend had no clue this happened.  No clue that her husband spent a year under house arrest!  She believes his story that the law society's website detailing his actions is wrong.  When asked why he simply doesn't insist they remove this apparently inaccurate information, she says he has decided he isn't interested in pursuing law any more so it doesn't matter.

This is an educated woman. But she firmly believes the whole drabble the minister said at their wedding - that the husband is the head of the family and the wife's job is to obey her husband. I have no idea why, as she didn't join a fundamentalist church until she met her now-husband at university. But she has embraced it. Her loyalty to her husband has splintered her relationship with her siblings over her inability to see how her husband not only coerced a very large sum of money from her elderly mother, but was verbally abusing the woman as well. What her husband wants comes before everything else.

Fundamentalist faiths do so much harm to women and children. They take away any sense of autonomy a woman has, and replace it with dependence. Brenda should have said something, and should have acted. But I think the fundamentalist faith played a heck of a lot of mind games on her. And from what Jessica has said and hinted at, I think it is safe to assume that Toby threatened violence if anyone - including Brenda - thought of acting or speaking up. There are a lot of abused women in this world who are unable to get their families to safety because of fear.

I am so, so impressed with Jessica for not only getting away from her father, but for finding the strength to make a new life and the courage to tell her story.  I hope she is incredibly proud of herself for getting to this point. I wish her nothing but the absolute best for the journey ahead.

And, frankly, I always thought there was something sinister about Toby. He seemed to rule the family with an iron fist. Unfortunately, sometimes you can believe what you see on TV.

[Whyyouneedaname]

after reading this detailed account of what she went through, I wonder what took place that he let her leave when she did. I know it says a friend came and got her but up until that point she was pretty much refused freedom, even to the point of not even using the telephone. I also wonder did the film crew not ever see anything that threw up a red flag, so many times help was within an arms length but yet a million miles away. This story has broke my heart & made me fuming mad at the same time. 

[Nysha]

I'm guessing that it was at least implied that if she wasn't allowed to leave the friend would call the police. Instead, she probably had to promise to keep the family secrets and keep pretending for the cameras while they all ignored the fact that Toby had committed battery on an adult (since they were all already ignoring the sexual abuse.)

[SunnyBeBe]

Apparently, it was the abused and tortured children who finally gained the strength to speak out.  Their "mother" was too busy defending, denying and putting on big smiles for the camera in order to protect the monster.  She gets no pass from me.  Mother used the children in order to placate her husband and keep the status quo.  Some people who do that actually are held accountable. So, I'm mystified that this woman retained custody of children who are still vulnerable minors. 

[Whyyouneedaname]

I have read Jessica's recount of some of what went on, horrible, was she the only one that was beaten like she described? Was this done behind closed doors? I have boys that are now men, there's no way I would have stood by and let anybody harm them the way Jessica was. Brenda doesn't get a pass from me either.

[SunnyBeBe]

2 minutes ago, Whyyouneedaname said:

I have read Jessica's recount of some of what went on, horrible, was she the only one that was beaten like she described? Was this done behind closed doors? I have boys that are now men, there's no way I would have stood by and let anybody harm them the way Jessica was. Brenda doesn't get a pass from me either.

I don't know.  The others haven't told their horrors. I would imagine that one of the deepest pains would be that your own mother allowed and condoned the abuse for many years.  Even having more children to feed the monsters sexual appetite.  The monster is in prison, but, mother is being protected. I suppose there is a psychological component for how we deal with things. I won't judge the kids for that, but, I do think that it speaks volumes that Jessica left the group.  And thank goodness she doesn't absolve mother from culpability. 

[slasherboy]

On 5/10/2018 at 9:32 AM, Whyyouneedaname said:

I have read Jessica's recount of some of what went on, horrible, was she the only one that was beaten like she described? Was this done behind closed doors? I have boys that are now men, there's no way I would have stood by and let anybody harm them the way Jessica was. Brenda doesn't get a pass from me either.

In reading her account, she wrote of at least one time when the asshole beat her in front of the rest of the family on their tour bus.  A police car pulled up behind them and when the officer got on the bus, she hid in a bunk so he wouldn't see her blood and bruises.  I think she mentioned another time when he beat her with a belt after a disagreement with brother Jair, so he may have been present then.  I can't imagine him not trying to intervene, or maybe he did and she just didn't mention it.  Or maybe he was scared shitless.

I'm so glad Jessica was able to save herself, but I can't help but wonder why she didn't take some of her siblings with her who had also been abused.  Surely her friend would welcome them too, even if they had to make beds on the floor for a period of time.

Edited May 12, 2018 by slasherboy

[Nysha]

2 hours ago, slasherboy said:

I'm so glad Jessica was able to save herself, but I can't help but wonder why she didn't take some of her siblings with her who had also been abused.  Surely her friend would welcome them too, even if they had to make beds on the floor for a period of time.

Jessica left when she was emotionally ready to leave and it was months after she had been beaten bloody in the tour bus. We don't know if she asked any of her adult siblings to go with her or if any of them asked if they could, but they all saw from her example that escape was possible and they chose to stay. 

Personally, I don't understand why her mother isn't facing some type of charges, she knew her husband had molested her daughters and did nothing to protect them or their younger sisters. And you know if Toby was beating the everliving hell out Jessica at that age, he was beating all of them, probably from the time they could crawl. Parents may not be mandatory reporters, but aren't they required to protect their children if they know they're being abused?

Edited May 12, 2018 by Nysha

[slasherboy]

22 hours ago, Nysha said:

Jessica left when she was emotionally ready to leave and it was months after she had been beaten bloody in the tour bus. We don't know if she asked any of her adult siblings to go with her or if any of them asked if they could, but they all saw from her example that escape was possible and they chose to stay. 

Personally, I don't understand why her mother isn't facing some type of charges, she knew her husband had molested her daughters and did nothing to protect them or their younger sisters. And you know if Toby was beating the everliving hell out Jessica at that age, he was beating all of them, probably from the time they could crawl. Parents may not be mandatory reporters, but aren't they required to protect their children if they know they're being abused?

 

Nysha, you're absolutely right about making the move when it's right for you (not YOU, but the siblings) but I still think about the very young ones who couldn't express what was happening to them.  Since their mother wasn't doing anything to save them, maybe Jessica could have done something to help.  But I wasn't there and Jessica was vague throughout the post, so I can't speak about what I wish would have happened other than to express sadness and rage.

I believe the mother should face some sort of punishment as well.  I'm sure she was terrified, but her childrens' lives were at stake and I would think (hope) that would come before her own fears.

I just feel bad all around for everyone except Toby.  I often wondered about him.  He just looks mean.   But he was far more than mean ... he was deranged  and dangerous.

Edited May 13, 2018 by slasherboy

[Nysha]

I was jumping around YouTube yesterday and found a Megyn Kelly interview with the older kids, who, minus Jessica, have formed a new band and released a new album. Megyn very specifically asked them about Jessica's account, but none of them really acknowledged it. Their claim is that none of them knew the other girls were being victimized until an officer approached them to investigate claims that Toby was molesting them. This doesn't square with Jessica's timeline. As for the extreme physical abuse, Jeremiah and 2 of the girls seemed to downplay it was something that was so normal in their family they didn't realize it was abuse or wrong. 

I have a difficult time with that concept/excuse. These weren't sheltered children when this was going on, some of them were legal adults and others were in their late teens. I'm not sure if this is an attempt to whitewash what happened to make it more acceptable to their potential audience or they've just decided that the details of what they knew and what they think/thought is nobody's business, so they're giving a pat answer that sounds acceptable. 

People magazine article that talks about the new album. 

[tm909]

Regarding the physical abuse by Toby and possibly Brenda, there was very clearly a paddle with a duct-taped handle hanging prominently on the wall in their house. It was visible on their reality TV show. You could argue that it's hanging near the kitchen over a breadboard, but its shape and the handle make it look like a paddle to me.  I've attached a screenshot. 

I went to see them in concert recently. Only the six oldest siblings (after Jessica) are currently on the road, although from Facebook photos, it appears they had the younger children with them performing near the end of the summer before they went back to school.

During the concert they didn't go into too many details, but several times they mentioned taking the last 2 years off and experiencing a rough time in their lives. They emphasized finding personal courage to speak out against abuse if you're suffering from it, or know someone else who might be.

They all seem much more confident and happy now that they're out from under the control and manipulation of their father. 

The only thing I found a bit cringeworthy was when the two older daughters, Jennifer and Jeannette, announced that they've recently been married, and joked that they've "made it their mission" to find their sister Jasmine a boyfriend.  They then continued by joking that any eligible guys can meet them after the show to apply.  Jasmine is 17. She looked visibly uncomfortable on stage when they said this.  I know it was a joke, but now is perhaps not the best time to be making statements like that. It just came across as creepy.

[Turquoise]

I saw Jessica performing last night in Nashville. She was part of a trio performing at an Irish pub here. The lead singer introduced her by her married name and said she was "originally from Chicago". I recognized her right away, and didn't blame her at all for just being Jessica instead of "Jessica from The Willis Clan". She's quite talented and seemed to be enjoying herself, I hope performing on her own terms is bringing her some peace.