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S01.E05: Unmask Her Beauty to the Moon


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I read a lot of historical fiction, the fact based kind, not the heaving bosom romance kind & most of the situations we saw tonight could easily fit into any one of them. When Ophelia mentioned fairy tales & the maid got caught trying to poison the king's brother & the mention of someone named Henry (I thought of Henry VIII) it suddenly occurred to me that this is very similiar to the historical ficiton I've read only dressed up in modern clothes and accessories. And that kind of gave me a new outlook on this show. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy it. And look forward to someone losing his/her head. Literally. (I hope it's Gemma although I wouldn't be opposed to it being Ophelia!)

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It would certainly be entertaining if pics were leaked of QEII entering a masquerade on a couch carried by oiled up, muscled men... But mostly rolling my eyes at how terrible the security details are and how easy it is for these royals to just wander off and do whatever the hell they want-- like having a sex party down the hall or sneak off with their secret lovers.

All the jewelery they were wearing tonight looked so damn fake.

It was laughable when Ophelia picked out the big poofy white dress for Eleanor to wear. Really? Because Eleanor is definitely the cupcake dress type. The Ophelia/Liam/Gemma/Nick quadrangle is still boring as hell. Mainly because I don't believe there's anything that will actually keep Ophelia and Liam apart, at least anything substantial. Yawn.

At least we found out that Jasper isn't a blackmailer and a rapist.

LOL they actually did mention Prince Albert of Monaco this episode-- still think they missed an opportunity there.

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So the Jasper storyline is just a 50 Shades thing? I was hoping for something more noble and/or complex I guess. Their scenes were still hot and I swear she totally grabbed his junk IRL - he kind of jumps at one point - in the tunnel scene. I knew she was going to fly the coop and not be waiting for him. It'll be interesting to see where things go from here with them and how he reels her back in. The uncle is deliciously bad.

Edited by CarBe1
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I started watching today during the mini-marathon. After five episodes in one day and this to say:

 

Ophelia is boring and an asshole (seriously, she had Liam tourettes during both of her "dates" with Nick and acted like a thoughtless jerk with that little fairy tales speech).  I have zero interest.  Liam has minimal chemistry, she has none, and together they are entirely flat.  Nick and Gemma both have presence and generate far more screen chemistry generally then either of the supposed OTP couple.  That is not to say that I'm advocating Liam/Gemma or Nick/Ophelia or even Nick/Gemma (at least there would be chemistry potential).  I just cannot stand Ophelia at all or Opheliam as a pairing.  

 

That said, and even accepting that they are the central love story, I'm weirdly enjoying this show.  It's ludicrous, over the top, internally inconsistent (if the queen was really interested in the family image, her own attire would shock her almost as much as Elenore's), and ridiculous.  But I'm still watching, so there it is.

Edited by RachelKM
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Is it me or what that just insane. First, the music... omg... blaring. I felt like I watched this episode while at a rave.  And even for this show I thought the "house of lords" orgy was ridiculous. The entire episode felt choppy and pasted together. Queen Helena's story was a complete bore.  It almost felt like they gave this episode to their less talented production assistant and left and never supervised. And where was the King or Ophelia's father?

 

I like Jasper and Eleanor but what happened at the end? I am lost. Is it part of the game that she ditched him or was it part of the game that she wanted him to have sex with her double there.  I was glad they finally explained the Jasper video thing.  But if we are going to get all upset about sexual blackmail, at what point will Cyrus become so creepy I can't watch this show anymore?

 

Liam, why are you with Gemma OR Ophelia. If Gemma is that much of a nag now... eeeks... and Ophelia is just flat up boring. 

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I can't even stand to watch scenes with Cyrus. What a bastard. 

 

I happen to like both Ophelia and Liam. I also like Nick. But Gemma, ugh. I don't know what part of I don't want you, I want Ophelia that she doesn't understand. She continues to hang around repeating herself day after day. He doesn't want you Gemma. Move on. Yet the promo shows her inserting herself into the Monaco getaway. 

 

Jasper and Eleanor. Just about everyone guessed that he made up the video story. They have good chemistry. But now she's going to go back to how she treated him on day one apparently.

 

I also found the Queen's story a bit boring. Her guy looks good, but I had a hard time buying into the star crossed lovers thing. The King seems like a good guy. If it were the other way around and he was forced into a loveless marriage with Helena and really loved someone else,,,, I would sympathize with him more. He's nice.She is not.

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But now she's going to go back to how she treated him on day one apparently.

^^This. Mr. Las Vegas totally overplayed his hand on this one.

 

What I can't figure out, was Episode 1 meek bumbling Jasper-in-the-wine-cellar an act or the real Jasper? In everything else he's been competent as a bodyguard or full of swagger I'm the boss in bed so why did they portray him that way? Sloppy writing for more drama with the twist at the end of the episode or is there still more to Jasper? Supposedly he has lots of secrets so I really hope there is more to the storyline than this 50 Shades of Frost bs because that would be boring. It makes his character seem really weak. I want layers.

 

 

Is it part of the game that she ditched him or was it part of the game that she wanted him to have sex with her double there.

I think it's her rebelling at his 'I own you' speech to her. I assume he's going to show up in Monaco next week so it'll be interesting to see how he handles that.

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The funniest part of this episode for me was the scene with Eleanor and Liam hitting up the bong pre-party. Because that was the most laughable special effects attempt at a cloud of smoke coming from Liam's mouth. Dude. It's a bong. For as long as he had it burning and inhaling, this little tiny puff of smoke comes out of his mouth. Sorry E!, but it doesn't work like that. I never really noticed in the past episodes whether it was fake or "real" smoke but that little wisp of vapour was bad. I don't expect them to be hotboxing the room, but come on. They clearly blew the budget on sets and clothing.

 

The maid (what's her name?) tries to poison Cyrus. Did she forget that she has a gun? Because I'm still waiting for the damned thing to go off. 

 

Ophelia and Liam? Still boring. The Queen's affair? Meh. Jasper and Eleanor? Somewhat interesting, if only because he played the "no video" card waaaay too early. The bait and switch Eleanor pulled was about the best part of the episode. This episode was a bit of a letdown after the last one with the arson and the Ecstasy fueled retirement home visit.  

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I did like that Eleanor took a page out of her mother's playbook and had a body double waiting for Jasper while she slipped off to Monaco. Do they have these people on speed dial?

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I used to like Gemma but she's such a stalker. "Now, I've given you space" (while constantly stalking Liam's ass for weeks).  Gross.

 

Liam and Ophelia are bad actors, but the very worst one is the maid.  She always has a smirk on her face when she's supposed to read as "Found out" or "scared".  It's very disconnecting to the audience.

Edited by Ms Blue Jay
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Spitballs and comments:

Spitball: let's take the  night time soap opera one step more- Helena and Cyrus have a backup plan. We've already speculated Jasper is not who he says he is. We've already speculated that there's a Taming of the Shrew thing going on. Spitball: Jasper is indeed some royal from another country and H&C's plan is to marry him to Eleanor and have him as King/Prince consort. There's no way their plan involves Cyrus becoming king as that would put Dip 1 and Dip 2 next in line.

 

Comment: they actually went there. They actually called out Cyrus as "the Duke of York" in the dialogue. Wow. I thought for sure they would have made something up. That branch of the (real) family has surely pissed off at least one of the creators/writers. between the comments about STDs producing the daughters, random comments that leaned toward the (missing) Fergie character, how stupid and banal they make the daughters... and now they flat out name him via title. Wow. Balls. Big balls there.

 

Liam's boring. Ophelia's boring. So are Will and Kate. Pretty on target. And the Gemma character? Seems pretty spot on for the class of girl being suggested.

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Wow. Balls. Big balls there.

 

Perhaps not that big. I seem to remember that Prince Andrew was recently accused in a law suit of being part of a prostitution ring with a whole bunch of powerful people.  Starting to wonder.

 

I did like that Eleanor took a page out of her mother's playbook and had a body double waiting for Jasper while she slipped off to Monaco.

 

One of the reasons I didn't understand that scene was that the body double did no doubling. Had Eleanor just pretended to go to bed and got out of dodge it would have been the same result. In fact it could have been more of a burn as Jasper would be terrified someone / thing really got to her. The body double gave up the jig the second Jasper walked in (foolish girl there it was dark).  It isn't as if the body double stood in a corner while Eleanor ran.

 

What I can't figure out, was Episode 1 meek bumbling Jasper-in-the-wine-cellar an act or the real Jasper?

 

I realize of course this is probably just bad writing but I am intrigued by it as well, if the writers were smart they would make some point to it. Kind of Odd that Eleanor is so oblivious.  If he isn't a blackmailer why they act at the start?

Edited by BooBear
  • Love 1
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No cousins, no interest in this show

 

That was an extremely lame ball, it was supposed to be a big thing, but it looked like there was maybe 50 people there, & that band!

 

I can't even stand to watch scenes with Cyrus. What a bastard. 

 

 

 

I am seriously having problems with him, he's not a villain you love to hate, he is just a truly horrible person. I hate having to hear about how he's raping women every week, I want him off the show.

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I also found the Queen's story a bit boring. Her guy looks good, but I had a hard time buying into the star crossed lovers thing. The King seems like a good guy. If it were the other way around and he was forced into a loveless marriage with Helena and really loved someone else, I would sympathize with him more. He's nice. She is not.

 

I was bored, so I wasn't really paying attention. Did young Helena fall in love with a commoner (Captain Alistair Lacey), just like Liam fell in love with Ophelia? But Helena married Simon to please her mother, so now she expects Prince Liam to do the same and obey mommy dearest? (I think I read somewhere that Joan Collins is going to play Helena's mother.)

 

Also, where the hell has King Simon been the past two episodes?

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I read a lot of historical fiction, the fact based kind, not the heaving bosom romance kind & most of the situations we saw tonight could easily fit into any one of them. When Ophelia mentioned fairy tales & the maid got caught trying to poison the king's brother & the mention of someone named Henry (I thought of Henry VIII) it suddenly occurred to me that this is very similiar to the historical ficiton I've read only dressed up in modern clothes and accessories. And that kind of gave me a new outlook on this show. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy it. And look forward to someone losing his/her head. Literally. (I hope it's Gemma although I wouldn't be opposed to it being Ophelia!)

So basically the modern equivalent of Reign (another historical fiction show that in no way should be compared to actual history of the Queen of Scots).

Edited by Unraveled
  • Love 1
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I'm pretty much only in this for Queen Helena, Eleanor, and Jasper.

 

I'm so sick of shows that pick awful, bland actresses for their leads. Ophelia has ZERO charisma. Like none. And Liam is completely unbelievable as a charismatic, fun party boy play boy.

 

And Cyrus could have been an interesting character, but he comes off like an idiot. If I were Cyrus, I would be cultivating a capable image of myself and my daughters as the better alternative, but instead he just goes around be a creepy lech.

Edited by methodwriter85
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I'm pretty much only in this for Queen Helena, Eleanor, and Jasper.

 

I'm so sick of shows that pick awful, bland actresses for their leads. Ophelia has ZERO charisma. Like none. And Liam is completely unbelievable as a charismatic, fun party boy play boy.

 

And Cyrus could have been an interesting character, but he comes off like an idiot. If I were Cyrus, I would be cultivating a capable image of myself and my daughters as the better alternative, but instead he just goes around be a creepy lech.

 

Liam needs Gemma to be an interesting character, imo.  His best moments for me where when he was questioning how Gemma could be charming and she gave him a confidence boost to be himself, and then at the party where he got this look on his face when she interrupted he and Nick to ask Nick to dance.  I think their type of characters work well off eeach other.

 

I agree with you that he's not pulling charasmatic playboy off at all, but if they had done the reserved type it would have worked but again with Gemma.  Ophelia is a wet blanket.

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And Liam is completely unbelievable as a charismatic, fun party boy play boy.

 

 

They've got Prince Harry as an example. you would think Liam's part would write itself.

Edited by GaT
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I agree with you that he's not pulling charasmatic playboy off at all, but if they had done the reserved type it would have worked but again with Gemma.  Ophelia is a wet blanket.

Unfortunately, given that this is a Mark Schwann show, I can't see him ever seeing that Ophelia/his lead girl is a wet blanket and writing her out. He'll just double down if he realizes that people aren't responding well to her. Hell, Ophelia could go crazy and have an imaginary twin named Cornelia who wears a black wig.

 

As for Liam, we're basically being told that Liam is essentially a Prince Harry spare who got called up, but I'm not seeing Prince Harry in him at all.
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On a different note, I'm so tired of these actors with middle class accents trying to pass themselves off as royal or close to. It's yet another thing, besides the ridiculous plot lines and bad acting, that takes me out of the story.

Edited by A Beaverhausen
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On a different note, I'm so tired of these actors with middle class accents trying to pass themselves off as royal or close to. It's yet another thing, besides the ridiculous plot lines and bad acting, that takes me out of the story.

 

Ooh, come play in the Nitpicks thread.

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