What Strategy Would You Use to Win Hell's Kitchen?

[cooksdelight]

We've seen the sob stories, the hot tempers, the flirts.... what would be your strategy?

[Drogo]

I won't be there, but I have some advice. 

 

• Don't bring a puppet with you. 
• If you're going to screw up a table, make sure it's not the VIP table.  Screw up the table that's full of children in the main dining area.   
• Learn how to make risotto, scallops, and Wellingtons prior to getting on the plane. 
• Throw a tantrum when your dish gets cut by your teammates prior to tasting, so Gordon will insist on tasting yours after the team loses and say it's the best thing he's ever eaten.
• Smoke... a lot.  Light a new one while the first one's still going.  Bonus points if you can fashion bullet-belts out of loose cigarettes and wear them across your jacket while cooking.

[Julia]

• If you're going to screw up a table, make sure it's not the VIP table.  Screw up the table that's full of children in the main dining area.   

 

— Just not Ramsay's kids.

[Jersey Guy 87]

Don't screw up during service - plain and simple.  The people who win are generally the better chefs in the competition.  They make the fewest mistakes.  Yes, some people stick around longer than they should because of the drama factor but it's rare that a good cook goes home early unless they have a disastrous service.

[cooksdelight]

I guess it wouldn't hurt either men or women if you are built like a brick shithouse and have a face to match.

[EarlGreyTea]

Woohoo! So happy this thread was made.

 

Some strategies:

 

- Practice cooking EVERYTHING beforehand, but there's sometimes no way out of screwing up if the ovens are tampered with.

 

- Watch every previous season and write down the most common food items that show up on the blind taste test. I think most of them are repeated, so it's easier to narrow down.

 

- Sleep in clothes I can jump out of bed in.

 

- Do not smoke. Does bad things for the palate, apparently.

 

- I've heard a lot of people prep stations and end up being assigned to a totally different one. Find out who prepped my station and grill them on what they did.

 

- ALWAYS answer Ramsay and the other chefs during dinner service. Always. I don't get why this one is so hard.

 

- Watch Andi and the other sous chef like a hawk when I am heading the pass in the finale.

Edited March 18, 2015 by EarlGreyTea

[backformore]

Learn how to make risotto, scallops, and Wellingtons prior to getting on the plane.

 

Yep - most important.  Cook risotto every day, all day.  sear those scallops. Time them - know exactly how many minutes before you turn them.  Use the same pan they use on the show, and practice.  Smuggle in an oven thermometer, and make sure you know precisely how many minutes a wellington takes at a certain temp. 

 

Do NOT drink alcohol on the show.  If they provide alcohol, you know it's because they want you to get wasted so that you'll say something stupid, AND, they plan to wake you up at 5 AM with loud noises.  Get really good and drunk when you win, or when you're eliminated -  but not until then.  

 

And, as i said in the other thread -  women, wear a sports bra and workout clothes to bed.   don't risk being shown on TV in something sheer, or  with your boobs bouncing all over the place.  You want to wake up looking like you're ready for the gym.  Men - sleep in sweat pants AND a T-shirt, unless you have a body you're proud to show on TV.  

[cooksdelight]

But....but.....Gordon wants to see people barely dressed rolling around in the mud or slop. J/K, but seriously, he does favor pretty people in the beginning whether they can cook or not, he'll keep them around until they screw up so badly that even he cannot deny the obvious.

[Surrealist]

The only real strategy any of these contestants needs is to learn how to cook.

Edited March 18, 2015 by Surrealist

[EarlGreyTea]

The only real strategy any of these contestants needs is to learn how to cook.

That, but also some serious ambition and an ability to throw others under the bus if needed. See: the season when Elise formed an alliance that got Jennifer kicked off when she was clearly the better contestant.

[Surrealist]

That, but also some serious ambition and an ability to throw others under the bus if needed. See: the season when Elise formed an alliance that got Jennifer kicked off when she was clearly the better contestant.

 

So what you're saying is that a contestant should be a born asshole? ;-)

 

Also, the contestants should know how to match fish heads to fish bodies.

[EarlGreyTea]

So what you're saying is that a contestant should be a born asshole? ;-)

 

Also, the contestants should know how to match fish heads to fish bodies.

 

Born asshole, ambitious, potato, potahto. ;) No, but I do echo what Christina told the two finalists a few seasons ago when picking their teams: this is your career. Don't pick your friends if they're not going to help you succeed. I know it sounds harsh but they really aren't there to be friends. Not saying you have to be Elise levels of asshole, but being a bit distant probably helps so you don't get attached or biased toward any one person.

 

Of course, friendships do often come in handy during the finals, because friends tend to want to help their friends win, but it's not the only way to win.

[Surrealist]

Born asshole, ambitious, potato, potahto. ;) No, but I do echo what Christina told the two finalists a few seasons ago when picking their teams: this is your career. Don't pick your friends if they're not going to help you succeed. I know it sounds harsh but they really aren't there to be friends. Not saying you have to be Elise levels of asshole, but being a bit distant probably helps so you don't get attached or biased toward any one person.

 

 

Hahahahaha. No, I understand what you mean and I agree with what Christina said. Friendship and work don't always mix, so it's better to align oneself with a strong team versus one consisting of all friends.

Edited March 19, 2015 by Surrealist

[mertensia]

Hire someone to scream at you for being an idiot as you cook to get into practice.

Learn Ramsey's palate. Cook to his palate

[Brooklynista]

Nah, I'm going to act as batshit crazy and assholish as possible. The crazies last forever.

I'll ride that until Ramsey has just about had it with calling me a donkey and then I'll make the most STUNNING risotto plated with a perfectly cooked wellington.

[Drogo]

 

then I'll make the most STUNNING risotto plated with a perfectly cooked wellington.

 

You don't put risotto and wellington on a plate together, you donkey!  YOU'LL KILL SOMEONE!

[backformore]

You don't put risotto and wellington on a plate together, you donkey!  YOU'LL KILL SOMEONE!

AND THEIR FETUS!

[Surrealist]

This is a STUNNING topic. Excellent job, cooksdelight.

 

When vying for a spot to get on the show, don't bring up a signature dish that looks like a dog's dinner.

Edited March 19, 2015 by Surrealist

[Julia]

When you're describing your signature dish, don't mention the can. It's a family recipe passed down from Grandpere Boyardee.

[BogoGog24]

I would practice different blind taste tests.

[Surrealist]

I would practice different blind taste tests.

 

This is a great one because I can't believe how awful their palates seem to be. I'm no foodie, but my palate is probably 100 times better than any of the contestants are.

 

When you can't taste the difference between chicken and beef? Or even pork and fish?

[cooksdelight]

Try it sometime, blindfolded. You eat first with your eyes, and if you don't have them, it does make it a little harder to discern different foods. Add in the fact that most of them smoke and that really kills your tastebuds. Not to mention the damage done by alcohol if they are regular drinkers. I once knew a woman who couldn't taste anything at all when she was in her 60s after being a heavy smoker and one-a-day gin & tonic drinker. These people are much younger, of course, but sometimes being a chef can make you do strange things.

[Julia]

That. Not to mention that the dirty little secret of healthy eating is that lean meat doesn't really taste like much of anything, so poached fresh ham, poached turkey breast, poached veal and poached beef tenderloin taste a lot more alike than you might have thought.

[EarlGreyTea]

Try it sometime, blindfolded. You eat first with your eyes, and if you don't have them, it does make it a little harder to discern different foods. Add in the fact that most of them smoke and that really kills your tastebuds. Not to mention the damage done by alcohol if they are regular drinkers. I once knew a woman who couldn't taste anything at all when she was in her 60s after being a heavy smoker and one-a-day gin & tonic drinker. These people are much younger, of course, but sometimes being a chef can make you do strange things.

 

I read that they also cut up the food in the blind taste test differently. Like cutting chicken into tiny balls or mushing up carrots. That would throw me off too. My strategy would be to write down every single thing Ramsay's ever included in the blind taste test to get some idea of what the options are. (I'll bet some of them can see through their blindfolds and/or hear out of the headphones.)

 

I am running on very little sleep today, and was surprised to see myself sniping at everything, unable to process things as quickly, and not really feeling sharp...I can only imagine how they feel after just a week on HK with no sleep and Ramsay screaming at them 24/7.

Edited March 20, 2015 by EarlGreyTea

[Surrealist]

Add in the fact that most of them smoke and that really kills your tastebuds. Not to mention the damage done by alcohol if they are regular drinkers. I once knew a woman who couldn't taste anything at all when she was in her 60s after being a heavy smoker and one-a-day gin & tonic drinker.

 

I think this is what I was referring to because I know smoking would kill taste buds. I worded my questions in the wrong way. Plus, why do so many of them seem to do it?

 

And now I'm getting off-topic. ;-)

 

Another strategy would be to not place hot pans underneath the counter because someone might get a third-degree burn.

Edited March 20, 2015 by Surrealist

[MrHufflepuff]

Let's see what I would do:

 

1.  Come up with a backstory that's sad, but ultimately feel-good.  Like "I was poor, but I pulled myself up by my bootstraps, and now I'm here."  Or "I was in a terrible car accident and the doctor's said I'd never walk again.  But I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and now I'm here."  Nothing horrific.  Just something you'd find in a Hallmark movie.  Plus bootstraps.

 

2.  Be humble with Ramsay and the sous chefs.

 

3.  Practice giving confessionals that have good narrative quality and make me sound authoritative without being an asshole.  Mild snark on the other contestants would be okay as long as it has a friends-kidding-around vibe to it.

 

4.  Be telegenic.  Not necessarily model looks, but at least groom myself so I look well put-together.

 

5.  Be 100% on board with everything.  Every challenge is the toughest one yet (and isn't Ramsay brilliant for coming up with the challenge).  Every challenge is down-to-the-wire!  And every service is the toughest one yet.

 

6.  Come up with a good season-long story arc.  Maybe something about never being professionally trained, but over the season I come into my own.  Could involve bootstraps.

 

7.  Something about cooking?  I don't know.

[cooksdelight]

If you could master cooking bootstraps, you're a sure winner. :)

[BogoGog24]

I could never understand the people who were only in it for themselves when they were still in teams. They never want to cooperate with their team and then they end up failing the service. Why not be a team player until black jackets and THEN you can have that "only in it for myself" mentality? The first stage of the competition is supposed to be focused on how well you work with others. The black jackets is whereit becomes independently based.

[Totale]

Not sure about my winning strategy for the show, but my strategy of being busted for possession of some nefarious substance or going to rehab after I win is firmly in place.

[EarlGreyTea]

4.  Be telegenic.  Not necessarily model looks, but at least groom myself so I look well put-together.

 

This one is tough unless you're a natural beauty. Most of the contestants said they don't bother to wear makeup because it melts right off in the hot kitchen. Add to that sleep deprivation and being blasted awake by the sous chefs with no time to primp, I would not be a pretty sight.

[cooksdelight]

This one is tough unless you're a natural beauty. Most of the contestants said they don't bother to wear makeup because it melts right off in the hot kitchen. Add to that sleep deprivation and being blasted awake by the sous chefs with no time to primp, I would not be a pretty sight.

Then I want to know what the cat eye'd woman wears that doesn't melt.

[Julia]

My working theory is sharpie.

[EarlGreyTea]

Then I want to know what the cat eye'd woman wears that doesn't melt.

Maybe it's part prosthetic? Lol I can imagine Ramsay's face if it were to come off in someone's plate.

[cooksdelight]

Maybe it's part prosthetic? Lol I can imagine Ramsay's face if it were to come off in someone's plate.

That would make a really cool graphic for in-between commercials!

[BogoGog24]

I've actually noticed the women several times wear makeup whether it's for the challenges or dinner service. I always wondered if because it's for TV they have makeup artists there. I noticed quite a few of the women always have eye makeup on, at least.

[EarlGreyTea]

I'll also add that I hate when the winning team gloats when they're leaving HK for their reward. I suspect the producers advise them to do that, but I'd keep my trap shut. That way when my team inevitably loses a reward I won't have other cheftestants in my face gloating.

[hkalex]

Here's the perfect strategy:

• Say you have limited experience (even if you don't) or that you're relatively new to cooking so you'll get sympathy and you're more likely to go far. People with "limited experience" have done well - Christina S4, Julia S3, Michelle S14.
• Smoke. Smoke when you win service. Smoke when you lose service. Smoke in the middle of service. Smoke when Ramsay spends fifteen minutes sending someone home. Smoke when giving VT's to the camera. The moment you stop smoking, you lose.
• Don't be a bitch. Even if you're a good cook, bitches never win. Don't be too nice either, though. You have to strike the balance.
• Always take responsibility for your mistakes. If you pass the buck, Ramsay passes you on.
• Always say your challenge dish was inspired by your great-grandmother's death or some bullcrap.
• When in the semi-final acting as a "leader", assume everything is a mistake. It usually is.
• Win over your team. Or at least most of them. They're the ones who'll be deciding your fate, ultimately, so they'll be more likely to vouch for you.

Or:

• Be the biggest bitch possible for a number of weeks (to get views) before suddenly turning into a sweetheart with the best cooking skills in the country.

[ShadowSixx]

There's really no strategy to win Hell's Kitchen, just know how to cook the damn food to Ramsay's standards (honestly is it that hard to look up Ramsay's recipes on wellingtons, risotto, scallops mostly) and do great during the challenges. Even though she didn't win but I think Paula from season 5 is a perfect example of not being a bitch and being a dark horse as she wasn't involved in any drama and made it all the way to final 2. 

Chefs like season 4 Corey was so stupid thinking Ramsay was gonna eliminate people just because Corey didn't like either Christina or Jen. Putting people up that you don't like doesn't work on Ramsay, it'll work on shows like Survivor but not Hell's Kitchen because Ramsay sees right through the bullshit and will eliminate chefs that messed up badly, except for season 2 Virginia. Don't know why Ramsay kept her all the way to final 2 because she was sad since the first episode.  

Edited September 17, 2016 by ShadowSixx