S02.E02: Couples Retreat

[Tara Ariano]

Married life tests Kirk and Laura following their fairy-tale Hawaiian honeymoon. Meanwhile, Erik and Nadine begin their epic honeymoon; a newlywed must deal with a meddling family; and Toi grapples with a life far removed from Los Angeles.

[DeeplyShallow]

Did anyone else see doubt written all over Nadine's face when Erik was giving his spiel about marriage? Seems like she was having second thoughts there.

[Mountainair]

Nadine and Erik just are too new, and next week looks like s possible pregnancy is in the works. I noticed in her talking heads her face looked a bit fuller so she may be expecting. I don't travel well with my husband so I could sort of understand their honeymoon arguments. Granted, I've been with my husband for 15 years and they have been together 15 minutes but travel can be hard. I took Erik's side in pretty much all their vacation arguments. She was way OTT about the cow touching/arm bag thing and then he was right in that she didn't want to go scuba diving in the first place but now she's all crying and upset because they wouldn't let her. Way to really make Erik feel like it's ok to have a good time anyway.

Kirk and Laura(?) he's a big man child douche nozzle that yea, you made that bed Laura now go lie in it. Breakfast in bed, daily. Pffffft! You knew he wouldn't help with the house before you got married so don't be surprised he doesn't change and instead buys thousand dollar fishes and test drives sports cars. I'm sure he only mentioned it to you because it's already been bought and is sitting in the garage. Alternatively, spending the money on shoes is just as stupid. If you've got the money to spend frivolously, which it half way sounds like they do there should still be mutual agreement and respect on what the money gets spent on. They're both just materialistic fame whores.

Sam and......? What's her name? Why would anyone think its a good idea to bring in a spouse and make them house manager of a house you don't live in, isn't hers, and is the BILs responsibility? That's just asking for trouble and family drama. Maybe have a private conversation without the wife present and discuss her coming aboard as a possibility but still. An estate like that, a dad that's been in club fed, a crazy ass family like that, I would urge my spouse to stay far away and out of our affairs. Let the blood family handle things and stay far away.

Toi and Rouvan. Did I hear correctly that her weave smells like corn chips and feet? And was she pulling food out of her mouth with her fingers and the restaurant? It didn't seem like they got as much air time as the other couples this week but if Rouvan is spending that much time in LA I'd be pissed too. Toi just moved from there and now he's working there all the time leaving her at home.

[Primetimer]

Who's adjusting to married life on Newlyweds: The First Year, and who's got a wild dilithium crystal across her butthole?

Read the story

[Straycat80]

Nadine seems like a bitch. That whole touching the cow and germs on the tote handle was very anal retentive. And her pouting about not being able to scuba dive was ridiculous too. Maybe she is pregnant and that was the start of the hormones going bonkers.

I think Erik is a douche but Laura knew how he was when she married him so good luck to her.

I would be upset too if I was Toi and got dumped in a small town and then the husband is away traveling a lot.

I don't know why Sam made Laura the house manger. I found that weird. Sam co-owns the house with her brother. And in some scenes it seemed like Laura did not get along with the brother.

[MrsPatrickBateman]

I'm wondering if the issue between Laura and Sam's brother is some awkward sexual tension. Like that whole elementary school yard stuff where he picks on her because he likes her.

[LIGirl]

I'm wondering if the issue between Laura and Sam's brother is some awkward sexual tension. Like that whole elementary school yard stuff where he picks on her because he likes her.

Really?  I keep getting a gaydar ping off of her brother.  I don't see Sam and Laura lasting forever.  At all.

 

Kirk is very much, in fact, "a big man child douche nozzle" (thanks, Mountainair!), but I side with him just a teeny, tiny bit.  (Please don't hate me!)  Granted, Laura definitely made her bed with him and needs to lie in it big time, but I have a feeling that he's so used to being on his own and doing whatever he wants with his money, that he doesn't feel he needs her approval to buy something.  I'm sort of like that in the sense that I'm used to being on my own and independent, especially financially, so if I really want something nice and I can afford it, I buy it.  Even though I'm sure I can learn how to be, right now, I feel like I don't know how gung ho I'll be about "asking" a future spouse if I can buy something.  However, I only do this rarely and I never buy something I cannot afford.  If what Kirk buys does affect them in a majorly negative way financially, then I can understand why Laura would get upset.  But I doubt he's putting them anywhere in danger of debt or bankruptcy.

 

Why do couples so often seem to be on different pages about children before they say "I do"?  I don't get that.  Make sure you're both 100% on the same page beforehand!  Kirk clearly has major doubts about having more children and Laura is obviously wanting children with him.  Why do some people feel like they can change their spouse's mind about it or somehow slowly convince them?  Children isn't something you "compromise" on.  If it's something you need to nag and beat your spouse over the head about, then I feel like the one who needed convincing will end up resenting them in the long run.  Not to mention, Kirk's sons are already mostly grown, so I can totally see how he'll be making Laura do 99% of the work as a parent if they do have children together.  Yeah, good luck with that, butterface.

[Martine]

Strikes me that Kirk wants a housekeeper Mommy who will scold him for being a "bad little boy" and also routinely put out. Which? Eww.

 

Nadine's communication skills/conflict resolution techniques (shout 'n pout) are actually more irritating than a polyester Star Trek outfit.

[Tallulahbaby]

I like Toi, but Hayward is just outside San Francisco and San Jose. She needs to stop with that.

I do not like Nadine. That's one stealth bitch.

I was shocked how Laura and Sam's family interact.

Edited March 19, 2015 by Tallulahbaby

[DeeplyShallow]

Yeah, Toi needs to stop with the Hayward bashing. I don't live there, I live in LA, but I know Hayward isn't the middle of nowhere. It's just the suburbs. Relax.

Nadine is a brat and Erik is a nerd who is excited that he is with a "hot blonde". Love how she was talking about how he was so chivalrous in the beginning. Honey- you were just dating, did you really think it would last forever? Things settle down. She seems very immature, relationship-wise. Also- stop with the "baby couple" please.

Sam & Laura- to me, it seems that Laura is trying to convince herself that she wants this life and family. There's way too much animosity there. I'm still trying to get a read on Sam.

Laura & Kirk- he is a douche, for sure. I also can't stand to look at him. Everything about him screams "pig" to me. He's the kind of guy who thinks his woman needs to stay fit and hot while he can be a fat jerk, eating his breakfast in bed and playing with expensive toys. And, we get it. You have money. Good, because that's all you have going for you.

[lightbeam]

Personally, I would feel very uncomfortable if I knew my spouse's wealth is STOLEN; built upon a scheme that took others hard earned (presumably) money. I would think about it with every dollar that was spent and it would break my heart a little bit every time.

[DeeplyShallow]

Personally, I would feel very uncomfortable if I knew my spouse's wealth is STOLEN; built upon a scheme that took others hard earned (presumably) money. I would think about it with every dollar that was spent and it would break my heart a little bit every time.

I may not have paid close enough attention since Kirk annoys me but what is this about? Did he run a Ponzi scheme?

[LIGirl]

I may not have paid close enough attention since Kirk annoys me but what is this about? Did he run a Ponzi scheme?

DeeplyShallow - I think lightbeam was referring to Sam & Laura.  Apparently, Sam's dad spent something like 7 years (?) in federal prison for running a Ponzi scheme.

[Kat20]

I think Kirk and Laura are the John and Kathryn of this season. When they have a child together, I suspect Kirk will be acting similar to John. Kirk doesn't seem quite as mean though.

 

Sam's dad is the one who spent time in prison, but the house and estate are on her mom's side. It was her grandfather who was wealthy.

 

If I had to guess who will not last, I'd have to go with Nadine and Erik.

Edited March 22, 2015 by Kat20

[KarmaG]

Personally, I would feel very uncomfortable if I knew my spouse's wealth is STOLEN; built upon a scheme that took others hard earned (presumably) money. I would think about it with every dollar that was spent and it would break my heart a little bit every time.

 

The way I understand it is, Sam's mom was wealthy independent of Sam's father. Sam's maternal Grandfather owned many parking structures/lots in NYC. This was explained in the first episode, long before we learned of her father's fed stay in this episode. So really, her wealth isn't stolen.

I think Kirk and Laura are the John and Kathryn of this season. When they have a child together, I suspect Kirk will be acting similar to John. Kirk doesn't seem quite as mean though.

 

 

I want to agree with this. Especially since we don't get to see his/her/their interaction with his kids from his first marriage. I, too, also get the "he married his mistress" vibe from them.

[lightbeam]

Ah, okay. Thanks for the explanation!

[Bossa Nova]

 

The way I understand it is, Sam's mom was wealthy independent of Sam's father. Sam's maternal Grandfather owned many parking structures/lots in NYC. This was explained in the first episode, long before we learned of her father's fed stay in this episode. So really, her wealth isn't stolen.

 

This is correct. It was explained in the first episode - almost to get "it" out of the way. It being the story of the wealth. Sam's father, she explained, has no legal rights to the inherited wealth or the house - but he likes to give his opinion. Also, they said he went to jail for 7 years for embezzling. In this episode, they flash on screen a newspaper article on just what he did. I DVR'd the episode but then deleted. So I plan to DVR this episode again so I can pause it right when they show that article so I can read it. I have no life. ;).

 

Re: Nadine & Erik:

On the honeymoon, when she was advised by the diving instructor that it was best if she she didn't go scooba diving (due to a recent respiratory thing), she pouted like a child - almost ruining the day and Erik's diving experience. Erik seems to occasionally gently remind her what marriage takes - compromise, and wanting the best for the other partner - a little selflessness. I have to admit it seems as if he gets it because he was married and divorced. She has a very emotionally immature manner. This should get interesting.

 

I had to laugh at the producer driven editing - of when Nadine was nagging on Erik on the honeymoon excursion (Hong Kong) about his touching the roaming cow and how it might be dirty. She kept nagging, and nagging, ....then cut to her talking head when she said that it was Erik who kept "hammering away" at this issue and he wouldn't let it go. Hah ! Project much? I do think she is anal rententive, with a good side dose of OCD marked hyper cleanliness and other phobias.

 

Frankly, I know its early on in getting to know these two, but I think that Erik married ....drum roll.....his mother. Yep the now nun. In the first episode, Erik said that  people get along with his mother as long as you let her have her way ! See the pattern? Nadine? Plus the post mother hood, now nun, lifestyle choice by her is a whole weird statement in an of itself. Purity, perfection....uber control. Get where I am going with this?  

Edited March 22, 2015 by Bossa Nova

[DeeplyShallow]

DeeplyShallow - I think lightbeam was referring to Sam & Laura. Apparently, Sam's dad spent something like 7 years (?) in federal prison for running a Ponzi scheme.

Thank you, I misunderstood the poster and thought they were referring to Kirk.

This is correct. It was explained in the first episode - almost to get "it" out of the way. It being the story of the wealth. Sam's father, she explained, has no legal rights to the inherited wealth or the house - but he likes to give his opinion. Also, they said he went to jail for 7 years for embezzling. In this episode, they flash on screen a newspaper article on just what he did. I DVR'd the episode but then deleted. So I plan to DVR this episode again so I can pause it right when they show that article so I can read it. I have no life. ;).

Re: Nadine and Erik: I had to laugh at the producer driven editing - of when Nadine was nagging on Erik on the honeymoon excursion (Hong Kong) about his touching the roaming cow and how it might be dirty. She kept nagging, and nagging, ....then cut to her talking head when she said that it was Erik who kept "hammering away" at this issue and he wouldn't let it go. Hah ! Project much? I do think she is anal rententive, with a good side dose of OCD marked hyper cleanliness and other phobias.

Frankly, I know its early on in getting to know these two, but I think that Erik married ....drum roll.....his mother. Yep the now nun. In the first episode, Erik said that people get along with his mother as long as you let her have her way ! Plus the post mother hood, now nun, lifestyle choice by her is a whole weird statement in an of itself. Purity, perfection....uber control. Get where I am going with this?

Interesting theory! I can see this being the case.

[KarmaG]

This is correct. It was explained in the first episode - almost to get "it" out of the way. It being the story of the wealth. Sam's father, she explained, has no legal rights to the inherited wealth or the house - but he likes to give his opinion. Also, they said he went to jail for 7 years for embezzling. In this episode, they flash on screen a newspaper article on just what he did. I DVR'd the episode but then deleted. So I plan to DVR this episode again so I can pause it right when they show that article so I can read it. I have no life. ;).

 

Re: Nadine & Erik:

On the honeymoon, when she was advised by the diving instructor that it was best if she she didn't go scooba diving (due to a recent respiratory thing), she pouted like a child - almost ruining the day and Erik's diving experience. Erik seems to occasionally gently remind her what marriage takes - compromise, and wanting the best for the other partner - a little selflessness. I have to admit it seems as if he gets it because he was married and divorced. She has a very emotionally immature manner. This should get interesting.

 

I had to laugh at the producer driven editing - of when Nadine was nagging on Erik on the honeymoon excursion (Hong Kong) about his touching the roaming cow and how it might be dirty. She kept nagging, and nagging, ....then cut to her talking head when she said that it was Erik who kept "hammering away" at this issue and he wouldn't let it go. Hah ! Project much? I do think she is anal rententive, with a good side dose of OCD marked hyper cleanliness and other phobias.

 

Frankly, I know its early on in getting to know these two, but I think that Erik married ....drum roll.....his mother. Yep the now nun. In the first episode, Erik said that  people get along with his mother as long as you let her have her way ! See the pattern? Nadine? Plus the post mother hood, now nun, lifestyle choice by her is a whole weird statement in an of itself. Purity, perfection....uber control. Get where I am going with this?  

 

I agree with all of this a million percent. Laughed when Nadine's talking head had her telling us how Erik doesn't let things go and that he nags a point to death, right after we just watched her do that with the bag/cow.

[RemoteControlFreak]

I don't think there's anything wrong with Laura managing the investment property that Sam and her brother own.  But the entire family has to stop also treating it as their residence. Rent it out and stay out of the way.

 

Regardless, I don't see Sam and Laura's marriage lasting long.  They are the typical couple that spent too much time focusing on the wedding -- numerous bachelor parties and showers all around the country, fancy full weekend wedding, expensive honeymoon -- and not enough on the marriage.  They are enamored with the "I married my sorority sister" (an actual article that Laura wrote) storyline and not ready for the reality of actually being married.  They are apparently both in their late 20s but they seem much younger.

Edited March 25, 2015 by remotecontrolfreak

[DeeplyShallow]

I don't think there's anything wrong with Laura managing the investment property that Sam and her brother own. But the entire family has to stop also treating it as their residence. Rent it out and stay out of the way.

Regardless, I don't see Sam and Laura's marriage lasting long. They are the typical couple that spent too much time focusing on the wedding -- numerous bachelor parties and showers all around the country, fancy full weekend wedding, expensive honeymoon -- and not enough on the marriage. They are enamored with the "I married my sorority sister" (an actual article that Laura wrote) storyline and not ready for the reality of actually being married. They are apparently both in their late 20s but they seem much younger.

Yes, in that sense they remind me of season 1's Blair and Jeff, with Blair admitting that the first year was all about the wedding and fun and not so much focusing on reality. He was immature too.

[SFoster21]

I dunno, Toi, it's a one-horse town, but when he's away, you can't find your way around? Buy a map. Heard of the Internet? Jeez! You're too old to be without resources.

Edited March 29, 2015 by SFoster21

[yogi2014L]

I don't think there's anything wrong with Laura managing the investment property that Sam and her brother own.  But the entire family has to stop also treating it as their residence. Rent it out and stay out of the way.

 

Regardless, I don't see Sam and Laura's marriage lasting long.  They are the typical couple that spent too much time focusing on the wedding -- numerous bachelor parties and showers all around the country, fancy full weekend wedding, expensive honeymoon -- and not enough on the marriage.  They are enamored with the "I married my sorority sister" (an actual article that Laura wrote) storyline and not ready for the reality of actually being married.  They are apparently both in their late 20s but they seem much younger.

ITA. I wrote in the 3rd episode thread that there are SO MANY red flags with those two.  I give them 2-3 years TOPS. The fun will fizzle out and Sam will find a newer fling or Laura will be sick of Sam cheating ( i mean really, sam does whatever the hell she wants) and will leave. 

I see Laura going back to guys IMO. Sam's overall demeanor is the stereotypical douchebag type who cheats and does whatever they want because they can.

 

She is also more masculine (IMO i dont want to get into gendery type stuff really so this is totally my opinion) and I think Laura is attracted to hyper masculine People in general. After this trainwreck of a marriage I think she will go back to men. I see Sam finding a new off limits 'straight' girl to date for a while ( this can be a thing, trust me)  There whole relationship seems to contrived and basically the funness of being the naughty sorority sisters I think made it exciting and when that wears off...they are done. 

Edited March 30, 2015 by yogi2014L

[izabella]

I'm just catching up with this show, and my first impression is none of these couples will last.  None of them seem like they are a team and playing on the same side; they're playing against each other.

 

Nadine wins prize asshole this episode when she wouldn't even go snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef because she was so invested in pouting about not going diving. 

 

Way to rob yourself of an adventure, Nadine!  I assume you have snorkeled often in the past because you like to snorkel.  Since you didn't really want to go diving in the first place and you like to snorkel, I would think you would still want to see those fish and that coral by snorkeling,  It's the GBR!  It's not like everywhere else you've been.  I'm baffled by her logic, and how pouting on the boat is better than some fun in one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World.  Just, wow.

 

Kirk and Laura need to sit down and go through all their financial stuff together.  If he can buy expensive cars on a whim, maybe Laura would feel more comfortable about it if she understood their actual financial situation.  Or maybe Kirk would discover he really can't afford to buy expensive cars on a whim without piling up debt.  Laura seems concerned so why not put her at ease if there's no problem?  If these two haven't talked about money and how they'd handle it as a couple, they need to do that, like, yesterday.

Edited March 31, 2015 by izabella

[KarmaG]

 

 

Nadine wins prize asshole this episode when she wouldn't even go snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef because she was so invested in pouting about not going diving. 

 

 

They wouldn't let her dive to a recent cold, it wasn't her choice to not go.

[Lovecat]

They wouldn't let her dive to a recent cold, it wasn't her choice to not go.

She wasn't allowed to *dive* because of the cold, but could've gotten in the water with snorkeling gear to see the Great Barrier Reef, something a lot of people would love to have the opportunity to do. She chose to stay in the boat, pouting, and miss the whole thing. Very childish, and kind of passive-aggressive.

[KarmaG]

She wasn't allowed to *dive* because of the cold, but could've gotten in the water with snorkeling gear to see the Great Barrier Reef, something a lot of people would love to have the opportunity to do. She chose to stay in the boat, pouting, and miss the whole thing. Very childish, and kind of passive-aggressive.

 

You're right. I think PA is her personality in a nut shell.