S01.E08: Not So Together

[formerlyfreedom]

When Alex gets big career news, he seeks out Tina, who is busy planning her future with Larry. On a trip to Sacramento, Michelle steps up to the plate in a big way. After a day at the beach with the kids, Brett decides to share his feelings with Michelle.

 

 

[Primetimer]

Togetherness ends its first season with big moves and big heartbreak.

Read the story

[cpcathy]

Wow, I really hate Michelle right now.

[BooBear]

I thought the under door seduction scene was really tense and well done. I was on the edge of my seat. I don't blame Michelle that much. I can't stand Brett and I have to say I am sick of him. It almost seems like he needs to grow up. His whole beach scene redemption seemed silly and forced. So he had a fun day, there is a lot more than that wrong here. It seems like all his problems are of his own making.  He is the weak link for me on this show. Alex and Tina were again heartbreaking but I guess I don't understand what Alex wanted. How long did he think he would have the part in Larry's movie if Tina ran off with him?  Has anything really changed?

 

Will be looking forward to next season.

[TVForever]

I like Alex, but his behavior with Tina disturbed me a bit. Okay, maybe more than a bit. There's nothing romantic about tracking someone down, interrupting her COUPLES massage, asking her boyfriend to give you alone time, and then telling her that she belongs with you, not him, and she should run away with you. Dude, she's made her choice, and you have to suck it up and move on. Short of Larry being dangerous/abusive, leave her alone. No one should be bullied into being with anyone.

 

I don't blame Michelle either. The adultery is unfortunate, but she's spent quite a while trying to connect with Brett, only to be treated really quite horribly by him. I'm still sad though, that Brett's either going to walk in on Michelle and David, or he'll pick up on the vibe between them and figure out that they've been together. Alex gave him good advice about talking to Michelle, it just comes too late, unfortunately. 

 

I'm looking forward to next season too.

[EdnasEdibles]

I don't hate Michelle. I don't even really hate Brett.  I understand why Michelle is making the choices she did. She's been treated as an invisible person or a nagging pain in the ass by her husband. Finally someone sees her and appreciates her for who she is and what she can offer.  I love that David isn't a huge catch. In fact, Brett is probably a slightly better looking guy.  David makes smiley faces on paper. He's a normal guy. Kind of doofy.  It's not about what he looks like. He wasn't trying to seduce her really.  It's just about the fact that she thinks he's the only one who really sees who she is as a person and appreciates it. 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

I loved the old school notes under the door. She could have texted him but instead she used pen and paper. It was actually great because it elicited that middle school feeling of writing a note to a boy you like and putting it in his locker, and that's how I imagine Michelle feels right now.

 

She has felt ignored and unappreciated by Brett for so long and she has felt like she is "just" a mom, so feeling acknowledged by the other charter school people as a valuable member of the team and then having David flat out tell her that he was attracted to her must have been a heady combination because she finally feels like a whole person, noticed and appreciated for both her looks and her brain. Instead of feeling invisible, she feels valued and needed.

 

I'm not excusing her affair, but I can understand feeling unappreciated and then suddenly getting all of this positive attention. It would be like a rainstorm after a drought. She is just soaking it all up.

 

I agree that Alex gave Brett some much needed advice, but that it was too little too late. I guess I'm supposed to think that playing hookie at the beach with his kids was enough to shake him out of his funk?

 

I would have been fine with Alex wanting to thank Tina for pushing him, but going through all that trouble to try to convince her to go to New Orleans for him was ridiculous. How many times does Tina have to tell him that she is not choosing him? And as was already pointed out, how long did he think he would have that movie role once Larry found out?

[peeayebee]

I loved this ep. Wow.

 

The scene in the hotel hallway betw David and Michelle was so good. I love how they kind of talked about attracted to each other. The "energy." And then the note swapping scene was incredible. Michelle had a couple of tiny innuendos in there. So so good.

 

As Alex was biking his way to Santa Monica, I was unsure whether I wanted to see Tina succumb to his charms or shoot him down. I really didn't want him to be doing this, yet I wanted him to succeed because I like him so much. But Tina's reaction was the right one.

 

BTW, I was a little confused about Alex getting the part. When we saw him at the audition, he didn't seem to really audition, just yell a lot. So I guess since that time, he reconsidered and was given another chance to audition.

 

Looks like Brett should be a stay-at-home dad if that really makes him happy. Of course Michelle would have to earn enough to support them. 

 

I'm going to miss this show, but S2 should be great.

[EdnasEdibles]

Looks like Brett should be a stay-at-home dad if that really makes him happy. Of course Michelle would have to earn enough to support them. 

 

 

What I loved about the whole day with Brett, is that it's such a typical husband thing to do.  He thinks he had some great awakening and that he actually enjoyed himself with his kids. And yes, he did.  But none of the day was normal. It's like when I go out of town for work, my husband takes the kids to McDonalds for dinner and they put on pajamas and watch Star Wars until 9 p.m. and the kids are angelic and everyone has fun.  But that's not real life. Real life is obligations and making the kids go to school even if they don't want to and making them wear shoes even if they don't want to.  It's fixing lunches and dinners and arranging for repairs and making doctor appointments and cleaning the house.  

 

Brett was in a good mood because he took a vacation day.  He even said that much to his friend - he felt like he was their fun uncle. A fun uncle is not a sustainable job for a dad. As a stay at home parent who has to take the kids to school (whether or not they want to go) and deal with doctor appointments and shots and sick kids, he'd be just as burnt out as he is at work. He's got a little bit of the Peter Pan syndrome going. 

[BooBear]

Brett was in a good mood because he took a vacation day.  He even said that much to his friend - he felt like he was their fun uncle. A fun uncle is not a sustainable job for a dad. As a stay at home parent who has to take the kids to school (whether or not they want to go) and deal with doctor appointments and shots and sick kids, he'd be just as burnt out as he is at work. He's got a little bit of the Peter Pan syndrome going. 

That was what bugged me about it. There is no place for Brett to have a Peter Pan syndrome in the marriage that he currently has.  I kind of think that everyone is giving him bad advice. He doesn't need to go on forest treks and have days on vacation... he needs to see how good he has it and grow to appreciate what he has. Even his career. He works in the movie industry for cripes sakes. So you don't get dinner? So what? Also, thought it was interesting that David is running for city counsel. Kind of brings more substance to him than I originally thought and adds a layer to what Michelle might see in him, though having an affair with a married woman might not be the best for a political candidate.

 

Dude, she's made her choice, and you have to suck it up and move on.

 I will give Alex the benefit of the doubt and presume that what he was saying there was that he was going to be a big successful actor and now Tina could choose him and he would take care of her and she also loved him. But good on Tina for not falling for it. One acting part does not a successful career make.  And f*** over Larry would destroy Alex's career for good.  Tina was right, it is better this way.

[DangerousMinds]

I like Bret. But probably not in this marriage.

[arc]

It's just about the fact that she thinks he's the only one who really sees who she is as a person and appreciates it. 

But also, y'know, she doesn't have to slog the crap of daily life alongside David.  Right now he's just the guy she's building a charter school with. That's a big exciting project, not the tedious day-to-day stuff that's got her and Brett so down.  It's kind of a mirror to the stuff about Brett that EdnasEdibles and BooBear just said.

 

(Tangent: the show probably didn't mean it this way, but I think charter schools are a terrible idea for a host of reasons, mostly that they're the public abandoning the public school system, something which grifters rightly see as a huge gold mine, and ultimately the test results aren't even better than the public school system once you factor out issues like household income and not having to pay for/educate special needs kids. [edit: I'm really sorry, I forgot I already went on this rant in the ep 6 thread!] So anyways, I can't put the politics of the issue aside when I watch the Michelle/David story, and it's always got me on edge.)

 

I like Alex, but his behavior with Tina disturbed me a bit. Okay, maybe more than a bit. There's nothing romantic about tracking someone down, interrupting her COUPLES massage, asking her boyfriend to give you alone time, and then telling her that she belongs with you, not him, and she should run away with you. Dude, she's made her choice, and you have to suck it up and move on. Short of Larry being dangerous/abusive, leave her alone. No one should be bullied into being with anyone.

So much word.  That was awful behavior on his part.  Worse, you could see it coming a mile away, because he had to have biked quite a ways to get to Santa Monica, in literally shimmering heat.  (Quibble: he wasn't nearly as sweaty as he probably should have been, given the heat and the exertion...)

 

Also, even leaving aside that Larry could easily have gotten him fired off this life-changing gig, Tina's already been on Brett and Michelle's couch for more than a few months. How did Alex think his one month in New Orleans would be enough time for Tina to figure out her life?

 

Given how little Sophie appeared in the rest of the season, I was surprised they gave her so many lines this ep. I was starting to think they were writing around her or something, but she turned out to be a pretty good child actor.

Edited March 11, 2015 by arc

[ElectricBoogaloo]

I was sad when I realized all four of the main relationships on this show have the two people apart at the end of the first season (Michelle/Brett, Alex/Tina, Michelle/Tina, and Brett/Alex). That's the opposite of togetherness, damn it!

[EdnasEdibles]

But also, y'know, she doesn't have to slog the crap of daily life alongside David.  Right now he's just the guy she's building a charter school with. That's a big exciting project, not the tedious day-to-day stuff that's got her and Brett so down.  It's kind of a mirror to the stuff about Brett that EdnasEdibles and BooBear just said.

 

That's very true.  What she has with David isn't any more "real" than what Brett has with the hippie lady.  Or what he felt at the beach. I've read that an affair is not really about the other person as much as it is what the other person makes you feel about yourself. It's about the you that you can be when you're with them.  I think that's probably true in Michelle's situation. She feels like someone useful who is appreciated. But if she were to marry David and get custody of the kids and his kids would be there and in no time at all she'd be back to the old slog of life.  And I think Brett has romanticized life before kids but if he was suddenly on his own to read Dune all day at Barnes & Noble he'd get bored in no time.  I don't really know what the fix is with either of them. It's sad. 

[Clanstarling]

I don't hate Michelle. I don't even really hate Brett.  I understand why Michelle is making the choices she did. She's been treated as an invisible person or a nagging pain in the ass by her husband. Finally someone sees her and appreciates her for who she is and what she can offer.  I love that David isn't a huge catch. In fact, Brett is probably a slightly better looking guy.  David makes smiley faces on paper. He's a normal guy. Kind of doofy.  It's not about what he looks like. He wasn't trying to seduce her really.  It's just about the fact that she thinks he's the only one who really sees who she is as a person and appreciates it. 

Perspectives vary - I very much prefer David (in looks) to Brett. I've seen the actor in a different show (Rake) where I didn't think he was particularly attractive, but something about the way he plays David makes him (to me). Maybe it's just his attraction to and appreciation of Michelle.

 

I don't think either Brett or Michelle are bad people, just stuck in a place where they can't seem to connect with each other, can't express themselves in a way the other can hear them. They either find their way back, or they get divorced. It's sad, and it's why I really like the show. This part of it feels like real life.

[JasmineFlower]

It's interesting to read so many don't blame Michelle. I do. I get she's feeling under appreciated in her relationship, but I blame her because she's going into this with Tina constantly asking about David because Tina's aware of what is about to happen and Michelle acting like everything is innocent was ridiculous. She's been bringing David in front of Brett, which isn't going to help with reconciling because even as checked out as Brett seems, he's gotten that she's enamored with him and concerned about it. So, even with all of this, she's still acting like, no this is innocent and goes away with the weekend with connecting rooms.

 

You might see me say I don't mind cheating at times in shows, but this is different, this show is going for realism, not some oh I hope this comes off as believable, but this is a slice of life depiction in a very real way. So, this shit isn't cute. Cheating has actual consequences on more than the two consumed in the affair. Both Michelle and David have children, with Michelle being married. So, yeah, I do blame her because cheating can be completely destructive to a family. She's so unhappy, she's so into this flirtation, then separate from your husband and then go for the affair. It's what I would say in real life so it's what I'm saying here. I'd give a different answer if I was watching countless other shows, but with the authenticism they are going for here, I definitely blame Michelle despite her being not in some great place in her marriage. If you want a quick out, I'd suggest not doing the whole get married and have kids thing.

 

So while I do get that Michelle has been frustrated enough in her marriage to cheat, when she actually goes and cheats, I am going to blame her. I'm not saying Brett is some prize, I don't particularly care for him or his depressing attitude, but he is the man that she chose to marry and have a family with. Maybe I'm misreading the timelines here, but it seems like they have only recently started therapy and she seems to have thought that problems that have developed over 15 years were going to be fixed in 6 weeks of therapy. She didn't cheat after trying to work things out for months and months after admitting there was a problem.

 

So yeah, while I am not one to pass judgment on those who cheat, because I do get it in situations like this, but I will put the blame on someone who does cheat because I'm not a fan of acting like things getting tough gives license to cheat and blame the other. It gives you license to split up and not feel guilty about it, but justifying cheating is something different to me. And not blaming Michelle for cheating feels like saying, well Brett was ignoring her so Michelle was justified to look elsewhere. No she was not. She's to blame for her actions. I don't hate her at all, but she's to blame.

 

Alex was highly disturbing where Tina was concerned. Highly. I'm just going to hope that gets better because I like Alex, but I'm not sure why they had him do that and take him down a bit of an unfortunate road. I was thinking that Alex was tracking her down to thank her profusely and apologize for not speaking to her and say they'd start fresh as friends when he returned. I was just holding my breath that it didn't lead to him getting fired because I really thought he was going to be overheard by Larry.

 

I'm looking forward to next season and how these storylines continue.

[qtpye]

I enjoyed this series, to my surprise, and hope it comes back for a second season.  Like a lot of people here, I found it very realistic.  That being said I was surprised that there was not more talk about Brett's sudden unemployment.  His job was able to support four adults (though two of them were temporary) and two children comfortably in a pretty expensive part of the country.  Is the new plan for him to be a stay at home parent, while Michelle supports the family?  Does he realize how hard it is to be a stay at home parent (it is certainly not the carefree utopia depicted in this episode)?  Will Michelle be able to find a job, with the charter school or non profit (as that is the backbone of her experience) that will pay enough for them to maintain their current lifestyle?  I feel like we were cheated out of this discussion between Brett and Michele.  Marriage is not all existential angst, sometimes you have to talk about the practical stuff as well.

 

I too was not impressed with Alex's behavior.  What the hell was his plan...bully Tina into dumping the boyfriend that is giving him his big break in the first place?  Tina has said that she needs a financially stable man to take care of her, because she thinks she can not take care of herself (which was a sad scene).  If Alex had said things like he believes Tina can be much more then a partner to a man she does not love, that would be something.  Instead he thinks he can take care of Tina, which makes no sense in the context of the situation.

[JasmineFlower]

That being said I was surprised that there was not more talk about Brett's sudden unemployment.  His job was able to support four adults (though two of them were temporary) and two children comfortably in a pretty expensive part of the country.  Is the new plan for him to be a stay at home parent, while Michelle supports the family?  Does he realize how hard it is to be a stay at home parent (it is certainly not the carefree utopia depicted in this episode)?  Will Michelle be able to find a job, with the charter school or non profit (as that is the backbone of her experience) that will pay enough for them to maintain their current lifestyle?  I feel like we were cheated out of this discussion between Brett and Michele.  Marriage is not all existential angst, sometimes you have to talk about the practical stuff as well.

 

I was also a bit shocked with the sort of easy nature everyone seemed to be taking Brett's unemployment. I found myself thinking several times that Michelle was fighting for a charter school in an area she likely wouldn't be able to continue to live in. Eagle Rock isn't expensive by LA standards but it's not cheap either. Michelle's social work background is not suggestive of having the ability to fully replace Brett's income at all, especially not being at the top of the field and out of the job market for 10 years. And I'm unaware of high paying charter school jobs that can compete with what movie studios pay their sound engineers/editors.

Edited March 14, 2015 by JasmineFlower

[Readalot]

Wait what Brett's unemployed? How did I miss that? I thought he was just taking the day off to watch the kids while Michelle was away. Guess I need to rewatch. And I have to say the hotel scenes were hot as heck. Great acting.... I could feel the want, guilt, confusion, denial, justification, negotiation, and and ......can't wait till next season.

[peeayebee]

I didn't think he was unemployed either.

[cpcathy]

I didn't think he was unemployed either, he's a sound person, so I don't think he works constantly, but when he does the money is probably pretty good. He might be in between projects. I guess it's good they don't get too detailed about that, so we get the story instead of too many semantics.

[qtpye]

This is part of the review from Vulture

 

Newly unemployed, Brett decides to let Sophie play hooky from school and takes an impromptu beach day with the kids, letting himself finally be happy and appreciate the beautiful life he has. When he shares his revelation with Alex, his friend advises him to share that newfound positivity with Michelle.

 

If it was not for the one throw away line he said about being unemployed, I too would have never realized it.  Of course being in between projects would make much more sense with the way the characters were acting.  So, perhaps he is only unemployed for the short term?

[peeayebee]

If it was not for the one throw away line he said about being unemployed...

Refresh my feeble memory: When did Brett say that?

[JasmineFlower]

I agree that it was a throwaway line where he referenced it and gave me pause. I thought it was just me, that I had missed something in this or the last episode where it was mentioned before and I hadn't been paying close enough attention. For sure he mentions it in one of his conversations with Alex, I think it was sort of a you've found success and I'm unemployed type of comment. It was definitely quick though.

 

I would understand if it was more about him being in between projects and that's why there was no panic or concern. And maybe it's because Brett's affect can be flat and he meant it somewhat jokingly, because I don't know anyone who works from project to project on a regular basis that call themselves unemployed, they say they are in between projects, gigs, etc. I guess we'll see next season what it all means along with the fallout of the Sacramento trip.

[Readalot]

I'm watching it again. In the kitchen right after Alex tells Brett he got the job Brett says "I'm unemployed.....yada yada yada" maybe it was too many conflicts with the director?

[Crazy8]

The thing I love about this show is that, yeah, every single character is completely flawed, but their actions are understandable because their wants and needs have been really well realized by the writers and the actors. The real joy of it is in the subtleties and that whole paper under the door scene with Michelle and David was so well done. There aren't any arch-villains here. Just ordinary people in a pivotal point in their lives sometimes doing really stupid things. No gimmicks.

It's like Girls' less immature sibling, but I guess that was what HBO were going for.

[arc]

I agree that it was a throwaway line where he referenced it and gave me pause.

Yeah, but that's how this show has been: almost every episode has had significant time jumps over significant offscreen events that are barely mentioned in dialogue at all. Brett losing his job would be in line with that.

[Margherita Erdman]

(Tangent: the show probably didn't mean it this way, but I think charter schools are a terrible idea for a host of reasons, mostly that they're the public abandoning the public school system, something which grifters rightly see as a huge gold mine, and ultimately the test results aren't even better than the public school system once you factor out issues like household income and not having to pay for/educate special needs kids. [edit: I'm really sorry, I forgot I already went on this rant in the ep 6 thread!] So anyways, I can't put the politics of the issue aside when I watch the Michelle/David story, and it's always got me on edge.)

I don't think it's a tangent, and I'm glad you've kept bringing it up, because I think it is key to Michelle's character arc and the worldview of the show. Is she really so naïve about her white privilege, while wearing her social work credentials and desire for a "community-based school" like badges of honor, that she thinks it is OK to dismiss the neighborhood schools out of hand? I confess I don't know Eagle Rock, but I do know that there are many good and innovative neighborhood schools throughout LAUSD, especially at the elementary level, and many of them have become that way through organized parent involvement combined with special funding available BECAUSE the student population maintains a certain threshold of low-income families and English learners. Diversity in these schools truly = strength, as parents with experience in how to work a legalistic, bureaucratic government system can help leverage funding that wouldn't be available without the families who may be less equipped to advocate due to barriers of language, time, or work schedules — which creates an opportunity for a parent community that forms out of authentic relationships.

Thank you also for posting the link in the Media thread to the Salon article that takes down this aspect of the show and this plot line.

Charter schools, especially in Los Angeles — when they are not scams run by sleazy operators who get in and out within a year or two with a few hundred thousand dollars never to be seen again — are almost always about exclusion, about working the system to have the exclusivity of a private school for the bargain price of public education. A particularly distasteful innovation of the past few years has been the "neighborhood charter" — generally created in affluent neighborhoods so the neighborhood school can go independent and have parents take over governance, but still limit enrollment almost exclusively to neighborhood children, with just a token few openings each year available by lottery.

Given how little Sophie appeared in the rest of the season, I was surprised they gave her so many lines this ep. I was starting to think they were writing around her or something, but she turned out to be a pretty good child actor.

Which begs the question, where is she going to preschool? A public pre-K or TK? Montessori? Is it nearby in Eagle Rock or further away? Sophie seems to be thriving in whatever the environment she's in, so you'd think this would inform the discussion in the household. Also begging the question, where are all of Michelle's mommy friends? Granted, some of us are more social than others, but by the time your kid is chatty and in pre-K, you have a list of acquaintances at least for play dates, and if you're lucky, a good friend or two among the bunch.

Edited to clarify that I don't think that ALL charter schools are terrible, not in LA or anywhere else — in fact I know there are some amazing innovative models out there that wouldn't exist except through charters — just that the concept is inherently flawed due to the zero-sum funding mechanism and huuuge incentives for abuse combined with minimal oversight. And it eliminates useful internal pressure for reform within the system because all the innovation now IS going the charter route because it's so much simpler.

Edited March 20, 2016 by Margherita Erdman