S01.E08: The Purity Ring

[Absolom]

Carlin gets a night out alone with her parents and they have a special surprise for her. Later, the Bates family visits Zach and Whitney as they adjust to being first-time parents. Then, Lawson sings the National Anthem in front of 15,000 people.

 

[Betweenyouandme]

This episode was so sweet! Loved it. So glad once I watched the episode, I found out Carlin was saying purity ring. It sounded like dirty rig, which I knew made no sense of course.

The plug for Digiorno was sort of eye-roll inducing. But, hey, I could believe they liked it. It is a fine choice for a big group with kids. And, it did it's job. It made me want pizza. In fact, it did make me not want my Central Market organic frozen pizza but that cheesy stuff instead. Although, as an unpopular opinion, I like Freschetta better than Digiorno.

Did Lawson do well singing? I FF'd because I get nervous when people perform live (unless it's Taylor Swift).

Oh, and I also want onion rings and an iceberg salad with shredded cheddar, croutons, blue cheese, onions, and a lone chilled tomato wedge like the restaurant they went to...hey, at least it's something different than the tator tot casserole.

I like this family!

It was funny how the mom tells the little kids ain't isn't a word and then to see Zach and the Whit use it many times. Fun. Or, should I say, the bomb?

[Sew Sumi]

How on earth does Tori know something I am used to hearing out of Joe Giudice's mouth: "Happy wife, happy life?" My jaw dropped when she said that! LOL

[Steff]

I admit that the whole purity ring/abstinence only thing really is a hot button thing for me.  I'm all about giving kids all the info we can so they make good decisions when they decide yes or no to sex.  I'm very much against abstinence ONLY because it robs them of that important information.  Because seriously, hormones happen.  *drags myself off my soapbox before I go on and on*

 

BUT, as a girly girl who didn't have a daddy, I got the warm fuzzies with the mom & dad "talk".  I've always been envious of the daddy-daughter close relationships. 

 

So, they again managed to totally over ride my "I hate their religious views" twitches with the gosh darn sappy happy damn family!

[andromeda331]

I admit that the whole purity ring/abstinence only thing really is a hot button thing for me.  I'm all about giving kids all the info we can so they make good decisions when they decide yes or no to sex.  I'm very much against abstinence ONLY because it robs them of that important information

 

 

Me too. I have no problem with abstinence if that's what Carlin or anyone else actually choses. I have a problem with people telling other people what they should prefer. Or be made to feel bad or think they committed a huge sin if chose to have sex.

 

Bradley is one cute baby. Erin and Chad are so cute too.

 

 

Edited February 20, 2015 by andromeda331

[Steff]

Me too. I have no problem with abstinence if that's what Carlin or anyone else actually choses. I have a problem with people telling other people what they should prefer. Or be made to feel bad or think they committed a huge sin if chose to have sex.

 

Bradley is one cute baby. Erin and Chad are so cute too.

I completely agree.  If purity is what she wants, that's great & more (will)power to her.  I don't think anyone should be shamed for having sex before, during or after marriage/divorce.  It's the abstinence ONLY that gets me on my soapbox. Hormones & teenagers/young adults just happen no matter how hard (no pun intended) they try not to.  I think they should have the knowledge about safe sex to make a smart choice (while making a hormone driven one).   *drags myself off my soap box & deletes a bunch of totally off topic soapbox stuff*

 

  I was pleasantly surprised over the Zak and Whitney kissed reaction from Kelly & Gil.  The world didn't stop spinning and no one died and while I'm willing to bet there was a "talking to/lecture" over it, everyone got to keep their hand sex. 

 

This show is making me think & weigh pros & cons entirely too much tonight.  But maybe that's a good thing.  They are making me think about my view of the evils of organized religion (not rethink as in throw it all out, but the value of what it brings to religious folks) & maybe someone like me can make them think about what their religious beliefs say about flaming Liberals. I've always felt that a little more understanding & a little more insight for both sides would be a good thing.

 

Well hell, now I've gone all deep thoughts....darnit  Bates family! 

[Betweenyouandme]

I don't think most organized religion is evil. I certainly don't think the Bates are evil in any way I've seen or heard. I also have no problem with the idea of a purity ring. Carlin was over the moon about accepting it. They didn't lock her in her room until she agreed to wear it. And, when I gave my child, there is no way I'm approving of sex while they're in my house and under 18. I will answer their questions, but I want them to at least start out with the influence that while sex can be a great thing, it's not for children and it is special. Obviously, mileage varies greatly, but I'm not teaching my child that sex is a good choice before they're an adult. And, before they're an adult, I want them to know various viewpoints about positives and negatives about sexual behavior in a variety of circumstances. I'd rather them refrain and then wish they could have started earlier than to start too soon and regret it. I Love seeing parents on tv who are loving but also somewhat strict.

Abstinence only as a family doesn't mean you can't inform your children about facts of sexual behavior.

Edited February 20, 2015 by Betweenyouandme

[AmyFarrahFowler]

All I want to say is that I love this family. As an only child without much extended family, the Bates (es)? seem like such a normal family in spite of their size. Their kids have much more personality and their own opinions. Unlike another set of parents that seem to force that their slaves to tout the party line. More Bates Family please!

[MunichNark]

Could someone be kind enough to give me an idea of what happened with Zac and kissing? I can only watch the wee snippets that are uploaded as Trailers. He kissed before he got wed? What did the parents say?

 

Why an adult would even feel the need to "confess" such a thing is a different story of course.

 

Hated the hypocracy of the purity ring - girls must wear one, but guys just get a talk?

[Squirrely]

I hate the term "purity" in regard to sexual activity. Why not just admit that this has nothing to do with keeping hearts pure and everything to do with keeping hymens intact? The whole thing just grosses me out, and makes me feel even worse for the sexually abused girls who are forever reminded how "impure" they are. Barf. This crap is why Elizabeth Smart compared herself to a chewed piece of gum after her harrowing ordeal.

Gil sits on the board for Gothard. Gothard abused girls. Let that sink in for a minute.

These people are dangerous, and ignoring what's underneath the shiny, happy, aw shucks surface is just what they want people to do. It doesn't change the damage done by patriarchy, damage Gil and Kelly are directly contributing to.

Edited February 22, 2015 by Squirrely

[gunderda]

Dijorno is terrible pizza.  That's what they supply on Big Brother and they always said how amazing it was so it convinced me to go out and try it.  Really really bad. 

 

That's a lot of work to cook that many pizzas. I've tried cooking two pizzas at once in the oven and it doesn't work that well.  But maybe they figured out a system since they probably cook that many quite often. 

[trimthatfat]

Did I hear it correctly that the young women in the family get a purity ring, but the young men don't? I find that bothersome if that's the case. I hate the general emphasis on making sure young women are pure in religion - it's problematic to me. I was raised to believe that I had to remain pure for my future spouse, but none of my brothers received that same lecture. Ugh. So annoying. Other than that, I thought it was sweet how touched Carlin was about the dinner and the ring. That's all that matters....I guess.

[anstar]

Did I hear it correctly that the young women in the family get a purity ring, but the young men don't?

The young men don't get a ring, but Lawson said in the TH that they are held to the same standard.  There aren't two sets of rules.

And I wish they would make clear to these young people (as in the case of Elizabeth Smart) that making a choice and being victimized are two vastly different things.

[JessDVD]

At the risk of making stereotypes, I think it's safe to say that the idea of wearing a physical ring with the intent of purity behind it, would appeal more to young women than young men. Also, I'm not personally acquainted with the Bates nor any of these other super-fundies but the focus on purity I've seen in conservative Christian circles isn't just about not having sex, it's about being pure as a whole person in every area (physical, emotional, spiritual, etc). Take that or leave it as you like, but that's what I've seen. And yeah, if they're not making a distinction between making choices and being victimized, they need to.

 

It would be okay with me if Gil addressed, even if just in an interview and not the show, why he continues to sit on the Gothard board, not just because of the allegations, but also because they don't seem to be stressing strict Gothardism for their children but letting them choose and obviously not all the kids are choosing strict Gothardism.

[trimthatfat]

The young men don't get a ring, but Lawson said in the TH that they are held to the same standard.  There aren't two sets of rules.

 

I still find it problematic that a young woman is expected to wear a symbol of purity, but the men are not. I could go on a rant about purity rings and purity balls for young women while young men just get lectures in those religious circles/cultures, but I won't since it'll be off-topic. But like I said, it was sweet how happy Carlin was about the dinner.

 

I knew this group followed Gothard's teachings, but I didn't know Gil sat on the board. I wonder if John and Chad are Gothard followers - both seem like conservative Christians at the very least.

Edited February 24, 2015 by trimthatfat

[BostonBlonde]

Dijorno is terrible pizza.  That's what they supply on Big Brother and they always said how amazing it was so it convinced me to go out and try it.  Really really bad. 

 

That's a lot of work to cook that many pizzas. I've tried cooking two pizzas at once in the oven and it doesn't work that well.  But maybe they figured out a system since they probably cook that many quite often. 

 

Yep they did....it's called cash the check & toss the boxes in the trash. :)

 

Gil sits on the board for Gothard. Gothard abused girls. Let that sink in for a minute.

 

Yes. This part makes me ill.

[KarmaG]

This episode was so sweet! Loved it. So glad once I watched the episode, I found out Carlin was saying purity ring. It sounded like dirty rig, which I knew made no sense of course.

The plug for Digiorno was sort of eye-roll inducing. But, hey, I could believe they liked it. It is a fine choice for a big group with kids. And, it did it's job. It made me want pizza. In fact, it did make me not want my Central Market organic frozen pizza but that cheesy stuff instead. Although, as an unpopular opinion, I like Freschetta better than Digiorno.

I like this family!

It was funny how the mom tells the little kids ain't isn't a word and then to see Zach and the Whit use it many times. Fun. Or, should I say, the bomb?

 

Loved this episode too. Like you, I also prefer Freschetta. Tried Digiorno once and the sauce tasted like someone vomited on the pizza, no thank you!

All I want to say is that I love this family. As an only child without much extended family, the Bates (es)? seem like such a normal family in spite of their size. Their kids have much more personality and their own opinions. Unlike another set of parents that seem to force that their slaves to tout the party line. More Bates Family please!

 

As another only child who's really removed from her extended family, I totally agree. I love this family and how "normal" they come across. I love that I know they are religious yet other than a few times, like during Gil's purity speech, I don't have their religion pushed in my face even though I am watching a show about them. I also love how each kid has their own personality and the number that is next to their name when they do their talking heads on the couches.

I hate the term "purity" in regard to sexual activity. Why not just admit that this has nothing to do with keeping hearts pure and everything to do with keeping hymens intact? The whole thing just grosses me out, and makes me feel even worse for the sexually abused girls who are forever reminded how "impure" they are. Barf. This crap is why Elizabeth Smart compared herself to a chewed piece of gum after her harrowing ordeal.

 

 

As someone who was molested for over 3yrs (from about age 7-10) I must say (and I am not religious) that I, nor my family, ever considered what I went through as making me no longer pure. It wasn't my choice. Now when I did have consensual sex for the first time, THAT made me no longer "pure".

[luvbadtv]

I believe the Jonas Brothers wore purity rings, so it's not just for girls.

[KarmaG]

I believe the Jonas Brothers wore purity rings, so it's not just for girls.

 

I think they were talking about for this family in particular, not the general purity concerned peeps.