Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Ancaster]

On 10/27/2024 at 4:48 PM, sixlets said:

 

I am so dang angry with myself. On Tuesday, the 15th, I drove to Hagerstown to pick up my mom.  One of the ladies she worked with got her from PA, and we met at the outlets.  Mr. Six was in Ohio from the 18th through the 23rd, and my mom & I were supposed to leave on the 24th to head to Atlantic City.  We never made it.  I have been in a huge, nasty POTS flare for the past 3 weeks or so, and it just wasn't safe for me to travel.  She hasn't been alone with me since 2010, which is when my dad was sick and passed away.  I was symptomatic at the time, but I was only 16 months in at that point.  She would have spent the whole time worrying about me, and I would have spent most of the time in bed.  I truly know she was ok with us not going, but I'm still angry with myself.  I can just add it to the list of things my health has taken from me.  Being chronically ill just sucks, and thank you for reading.  This has been my TedTalk.

I truly don't understand why you're angry at yourself, but please don't be.

[Ancaster]

On 10/27/2024 at 6:18 AM, lookeyloo said:

Yesterday I had a senior coffee with two creams, a plain english muffin with a round egg.  Relatively healthy and inexpensive.

Is a senior coffee somehow related to a senior moment?  Or senior living?  Or am I just having a senior moment?

[ginger90]

4 minutes ago, Ancaster said:

Is a senior coffee somehow related to a senior moment?  Or senior living?  Or am I just having a senior moment?

It’s discounted for seniors. 😁

[sixlets]

2 hours ago, Ancaster said:

I truly don't understand why you're angry at yourself, but please don't be.

Thank you.  I've missed so many events over the past 15 years, and this was just the final straw.  I had been feeling my version of ok in the previous weeks, but I was a mess by Sunday.  A few weeks ago, Mr. Six & I stopped at the new Sheetz in our area, and I really wanted a fountain cherry Pepsi. Within 5 minutes of just sipping it, my iWatch was alerting me to tachycardia.  That entire Saturday, my heart rate was spiking to 160+ bpm, and laying in bed only brought it down to the mid-120s.  I have zero control of my body, and it's just frustrating.

[Ancaster]

52 minutes ago, sixlets said:

Thank you.  I've missed so many events over the past 15 years, and this was just the final straw.  I had been feeling my version of ok in the previous weeks, but I was a mess by Sunday.  A few weeks ago, Mr. Six & I stopped at the new Sheetz in our area, and I really wanted a fountain cherry Pepsi. Within 5 minutes of just sipping it, my iWatch was alerting me to tachycardia.  That entire Saturday, my heart rate was spiking to 160+ bpm, and laying in bed only brought it down to the mid-120s.  I have zero control of my body, and it's just frustrating.

It's so hard.

I have Long Covid and have had to learn how to pace myself.  My heartrate still spikes even if I'm literally doing nothing but reading or watching TV.  (I recently spent a couple of hours lying on a bed hooked up to machines, doing absolutely nothing.)  Because I look and sound fine, people don't understand why I bow out of things.  I know what the consequences of attending an event, going on an outing, or whatever, might be, but they don't.  I've likened it to pregnancy (without the reward) - you don't know what it's like until you've been through it.  Some people will understand and will empathize, others will dismiss you.

I just went away for the weekend with some friends who just didn't get it when I said I didn't want to push it so didn't go shopping with them - they thought I was being a party pooper.  I'm so grateful to also have friends who've been through similar illnesses or are in the medical field.

Hang in there and hang onto the knowledge that you're not doing anything wrong or making anything up.  Just a suggestion, have you looked into local or online support groups for people with long-term debilitating conditions that you could be a part of?  If you find something and don't like it, you don't have to keep going!  But as with my pregnancy analogy, it really helps to have the ear of people who "get it".

[Minivanessa]

On 10/27/2024 at 11:33 AM, oliviabenson said:

I still miss salads and chicken wraps from McDonald's.

So do I. I don't eat breakfast most of the time (nobody freak out, I actually visited a local board-certified family practitioner MD who did an exam and ordered several kinds of blood work done on me, and then advised that for my metabolic situation, eating twice a day with no snacks is the best plan - I'm taking the Fifth on the snacks situation at present, sigh). But years ago I fell into a habit - when I'm on a road trip I have an Egg McMuffin for breakfast. A tradition I honored just yesterday morning on the last leg of my trip home from a camping trip.

@sixlets and @Ancaster - I'm sorry for your health issues. It just sucks and there's no denying it. And yes, we just have to do our best to adapt to our physical and medical limitations. I'm sorry if some of the people in your lives don't get it. Talk about adding insult to injury! Pooh on them for that nonsense. 

@zoomama - wowzer! I'm glad there's some good news for your husband. That's a lot for both of you. I'm not sure I'd be capable of writing a coherent post in such a situation. Thanks for checking in with us. Sending healing thoughts and good wishes. 

I got home yesterday from an 8 day trip - I camped and socialized in a great state park in southern New Mexico. Had fun, met up with friends and made new friends. It was great. It was also hot, and the place is literally rocks and dirt and dust. I've hauled in my stuff from Minnie Vanessa (my minivan) and everything will be cleaned before being stored again. My washer and dryer have been busy. I enjoy camping, but I'm also a fan of indoor plumbing. I'm glad I made the trip - and I'm delighted to be home again. Win/win. 

Edited Wednesday at 01:24 PM by Minivanessa

[Ancaster]

13 hours ago, Minivanessa said:

 

@sixlets and @Ancaster - I'm sorry for your health issues. It just sucks and there's no denying it. And yes, we just have to do our best to adapt to our physical and medical limitations. I'm sorry if some of the people in your lives don't get it. Talk about adding insult to injury! Pooh on them for that nonsense. 

I got home yesterday from an 8 day trip - I camped and socialized in a great state park in southern New Mexico. Had fun, met up with friends and made new friends. It was great. It was also hot, and the place is literally rocks and dirt and dust. I've hauled in my stuff from Minnie Vanessa (my minivan) and everything will be cleaned before being stored again. My washer and dryer have been busy. I enjoy camping, but I'm also a fan of indoor plumbing. I'm glad I made the trip - and I'm delighted to be home again. Win/win. 

Thanks @Minivanessa (love the "handle"!).  And I'm glad you made the trip too; it sounds perfect - apart from the heat and dust!  I also took a trip recently that friends and family advised against, and I questioned, and I'm very glad I went.

Talking of putting everything away clean and tidy reminded me that I try to leave my apartment in decent shape before I go away.  I hate coming home to a mess (even though I can quite happily make it and live in it!), laundry beyond what's in my suitcase, or dirty dishes.  I even try to find time to change the bed!  Anyone else?

Edited Thursday at 12:55 AM by Ancaster

[Notabug]

20 minutes ago, Ancaster said:

Thanks @Minivanessa (love the "handle"!).  And I'm glad you made the trip too; it sounds perfect - apart from the heat an dust!  I also took a trip recently that friends and family advised against, and I questioned, and I'm very glad I went.

Talking of putting everything away clean and tidy reminded me that I try to leave my apartment in decent shape before I go away.  I hate coming home to a mess (even though I can quite happily make it and live in it!), laundry beyond what's in my suitcase, or dirty dishes.  I even try to find time to change the bed!  Anyone else?

Yep, I try to have everything organized; all dishes washed and put away, laundry done and stored, counters cleared.  I do it because it makes homecoming easier but also because I worry that something might happen to me on my travels and I don't want friends or family to come into my home and see what a slob I really am.

[ginger90]

40 minutes ago, Ancaster said:

Thanks @Minivanessa (love the "handle"!).  And I'm glad you made the trip too; it sounds perfect - apart from the heat an dust!  I also took a trip recently that friends and family advised against, and I questioned, and I'm very glad I went.

Talking of putting everything away clean and tidy reminded me that I try to leave my apartment in decent shape before I go away.  I hate coming home to a mess (even though I can quite happily make it and live in it!), laundry beyond what's in my suitcase, or dirty dishes.  I even try to find time to change the bed!  Anyone else?

I’m the same. It feels more relaxing to come home when there isn’t anything beyond unpacking to do.

We recently stayed at a B&B and I did my laundry there.

[Ancaster]

29 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

I’m the same. It feels more relaxing to come home when there isn’t anything beyond unpacking to do.

We recently stayed at a B&B and I did my laundry there.

We used to do quite a lot of camping and I would always try to do a laundry pitstop at some point, not just to get rid of the worst of the dirt, but to get some "kid respite" - they would go off with my husband and I'd have quiet time with my book.

[Turquoise]

2 hours ago, Ancaster said:

Talking of putting everything away clean and tidy reminded me that I try to leave my apartment in decent shape before I go away.  I hate coming home to a mess (even though I can quite happily make it and live in it!), laundry beyond what's in my suitcase, or dirty dishes.  I even try to find time to change the bed!  Anyone else?

Yes, I like to have my cleaning done and my bed changed/fresh towels in the bathroom before I leave on a trip. It makes transitioning back to normal life easier.

[lookeyloo]

I also like to come home to a clean house.  But it's just me and Mr lookeyloo and i can manage things easily by myself.  which I prefer

[andromeda331]

On 10/29/2024 at 5:33 PM, sixlets said:

Thank you.  I've missed so many events over the past 15 years, and this was just the final straw.  I had been feeling my version of ok in the previous weeks, but I was a mess by Sunday.  A few weeks ago, Mr. Six & I stopped at the new Sheetz in our area, and I really wanted a fountain cherry Pepsi. Within 5 minutes of just sipping it, my iWatch was alerting me to tachycardia.  That entire Saturday, my heart rate was spiking to 160+ bpm, and laying in bed only brought it down to the mid-120s.  I have zero control of my body, and it's just frustrating.

I understand. I have the same problem with my body due to all of my health issues. It's really hard to miss out on so many things. It's really hard to do something small that ends up with you in bed. It's been 10 years and it just really sucks. 

[andromeda331]

On 10/28/2024 at 4:32 PM, oliviabenson said:

Their nuggets are not as good as they used to be.

That's so sad to hear.

[ginger90]

I bought a couple of lottery number based tickets for my granddaughter’s school soccer team for the month of October. I won once for $50.

Yesterday was a firehouse drawing. I had purchased a ticket for a $500. gift card for “Winner’s choice home heating”. I was late watching the drawings and rewatched. I won. About five minutes later I got a call from the fire house.  They called to let me know I won, and to ask what company I wanted it from. I was so excited I probably sounded silly on the phone.

Edited Thursday at 12:47 PM by ginger90

[BetyBee]

18 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

I also like to come home to a clean house.  But it's just me and Mr lookeyloo and i can manage things easily by myself.  which I prefer

I recently fell and fractured my clavicle. I like to manage things by myself, but until my shoulder heals, my floors are suffering! 

[lookeyloo]

19 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

I recently fell and fractured my clavicle. I like to manage things by myself, but until my shoulder heals, my floors are suffering! 

I do understand.  I am almost 81 and my mantra is "don't fall". Of course some things are out of our control!

[BetyBee]

4 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

I do understand.  I am almost 81 and my mantra is "don't fall". Of course some things are out of our control!

Yes! It's best to avoid falling, because a fall can change everything in an instant. I'm healing well. I'm kind of glad I didn't see it coming (I was on a walk in my neighborhood) because if I had, I'd have probably broken my wrist, trying to catch myself.