S05.E17: Big Bank Theory

[1011101010001]

Daniele confronts Yohan about suspicious bank activity; Shekinah and Sarper go bed shopping; TJ tells Kim she is now a head of the household; Holly is lonely in South Africa; Brandan is caught between Mary and his mom.
 

Airdate: 10/30/23

[Fable]

So Sarper lost count with Shekina after 12 or so, but has counted his other 2,500 bedroom conquests?  Alrighty then!  

Brandan's mother and Mary both have a thing or two to learn about good manners and being gracious.  

[Scarlett45]

9 minutes ago, Fable said:

So Sarper lost count with Shekina after 12 or so, but has counted his other 2,500 bedroom conquests?  Alrighty then!  

Brandan's mother and Mary both have a thing or two to learn about good manners and being gracious.  

I know. I felt bad for her brother and grandparents who were clearly trying but knew you could cut the tension with a knife. 

[Hodgepodge]

Shekina's sister stayed in Turkey for like two days. Just long enough for her mission to be accomplished. Her face is so frozen with Botox and fillers some of it leaked into her soul.

[Quof]

14 hours flying time (not counting layovers), 10 time zones.  That sounds like a fun way to spend a weekend. 

[Scarlett45]

2 hours ago, Quof said:

14 hours flying time (not counting layovers), 10 time zones.  That sounds like a fun way to spend a weekend. 

Didn’t she stop in Turkey on her way back to the states from another vacation? I think they said that two episodes ago. She didn’t fly there from the USA just to interrogate Sarper, but I could be mistaken. 

[libgirl2]

I had to laugh about the lizards. We had them all rather time in the house in DR. I used to call them baby alligators when I was little. Everyone else was used to them. 

[Cementhead]

"You're a multi-orgasmic bitch!"  -- What a lovely sentiment. 

Edited October 31, 2023 by Cementhead

[surfgirl]

Loved when Brandon called out Mary for gaslighting and lying, gaslying. "But I tried to talk to her. I tried to hug her." "Yeah, no bitch, you stood there glowering like the sociopath that you are. She's your elder so step the fuck up and show respect to your soon to be MIL. She would never show that level of disrespect to a Filipino MIL because she knows damn well its not culturally acceptable to behave the way she does. 

Also, I don't recall anyone here talking about this but Mary has a lot of tattoos, which is something most girls her age there would not have. Filipino culture overall is fairly conservative and tends to use strong Catholic faith as it's guide. Premarital sex out in the countryside where Mary lives wouldn't be lauded, nor would her plethora of body 'art'. To me, Mary seems like she's been her own problem for a very long time, way before she reeled in Brandon. And Brandon is an idiot. Neither of these two morons should be procreating another generation of dysfunctionality. So say what you will about Brandon's mothers past, but she sees clearly the disaster that these two are creating. And I really feel for Mary's grandparents, they are probably so over the embarrassment that is their granddaughter.

ETA: I was trying to imagine Mary coming to the USA rather than them living in the Philipines and I realized she'd never go for that because she would lose all the control she has right now over Brandon being on home turf, where he seems to only know how to say 'hello' in the local language and not much else. If they went to the USA Mary would have to conform more, IMO. I think that's the best solution for Brandon, but I can't see her ever agreeing to that. She'd use her grandparents as an excuse to not go, though I'm guessing they'd be thrilled to be rid of her daily shit. Talk about a human ball and chain.

ETA2: Danielle needs to pack her bags, give away all the appliances and shit she bought, terminate the apartment contract, and go back to the USA. Leave that scammer already.

Edited October 31, 2023 by surfgirl

[libgirl2]

1 hour ago, surfgirl said:

Loved when Brandon called out Mary for gaslighting and lying, gaslying. "But I tried to talk to her. I tried to hug her." "Yeah, no bitch, you stood there glowering like the sociopath that you are. She's your elder so step the fuck up and show respect to your soon to be MIL. She would never show that level of disrespect to a Filipino MIL because she knows damn well its not culturally acceptable to behave the way she does. 

Also, I don't recall anyone here talking about this but Mary has a lot of tattoos, which is something most girls her age there would not have. Filipino culture overall is fairly conservative and tends to use strong Catholic faith as it's guide. Premarital sex out in the countryside where Mary lives wouldn't be lauded, nor would her plethora of body 'art'. To me, Mary seems like she's been her own problem for a very long time, way before she reeled in Brandon. And Brandon is an idiot. Neither of these two morons should be procreating another generation of dysfunctionality. So say what you will about Brandon's mothers past, but she sees clearly the disaster that these two are creating. And I really feel for Mary's grandparents, they are probably so over the embarrassment that is their granddaughter.

ETA: I was trying to imagine Mary coming to the USA rather than them living in the Philipines and I realized she'd never go for that because she would lose all the control she has right now over Brandon being on home turf, where he seems to only know how to say 'hello' in the local language and not much else. If they went to the USA Mary would have to conform more, IMO. I think that's the best solution for Brandon, but I can't see her ever agreeing to that. She'd use her grandparents as an excuse to not go, though I'm guessing they'd be thrilled to be rid of her daily shit. Talk about a human ball and chain.

ETA2: Danielle needs to pack her bags, give away all the appliances and shit she bought, terminate the apartment contract, and go back to the USA. Leave that scammer already.

I also think Brandan's mother, who has had issues in her past, recognizes a mess when she sees one. I agree about the tats and premarital sex. I have known plenty of Filipinos through out the years and they have all been very religious and very conservative. We haven't seen their baby yet, have we? I wonder if it is even Brandan's. It could explain why she had "baby fever". She needed to get him in bed asap. 

[surfgirl]

Just now, libgirl2 said:

I also think Brandan's mother, who has had issues in her past, recognizes a mess when she sees one. I agree about the tats and premarital sex. I have known plenty of Filipinos through out the years and they have all been very religious and very conservative. We haven't seen their baby yet, have we? I wonder if it is even Brandan's. It could explain why she had "baby fever". She needed to get him in bed asap. 

This! I totally 100% do NOT think she was a virgin when she met with Brandon. No way.

[libgirl2]

4 minutes ago, surfgirl said:

This! I totally 100% do NOT think she was a virgin when she met with Brandon. No way.

And it might explain her jealousy. She might have been worried he would find someone in the states and not show up. It might have been too late to get another American and maybe the guys in her area already know her reputation or that she was pregnant. She HAD to get Brandan out there. 

Again, this is all speculation and I hope that somehow, things do work for them for the sake of the baby 

[1011101010001]

20 hours ago, Fable said:

So Sarper lost count with Shekina after 12 or so, but has counted his other 2,500 bedroom conquests?  Alrighty then!  

Brandan's mother and Mary both have a thing or two to learn about good manners and being gracious.  

We see in the preview an addict who lost custody of her son telling someone else they come from a dysfunctional family.  

9 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

I had to laugh about the lizards. We had them all rather time in the house in DR. I used to call them baby alligators when I was little. Everyone else was used to them. 

I saw them all over when I visited South Florida as well.  

8 hours ago, Cementhead said:

"You're a multi-orgasmic bitch!"  -- What a lovely sentiment. 

How long until that is the chorus to a song?

5 hours ago, surfgirl said:

ETA: I was trying to imagine Mary coming to the USA

Imagine her scowling at customers as a cashier at CVS.

[Raja]

Filipinas and tattoos.

I remember a couple of seasons ago some thought Rosemarie with Big Ed might have been a sex worker because of her tattoos. Meanwhile on Almost Paradise folks were surprised that a Mactan Cebu detective, played by the real life daughter of an Arabian Prince and a Filipina  Samantha Ricelle, was undercover as a event planner at a high end resort covered her tattoos but made no other moves to disguise herself.

While tattoos are still rare among women out in the provinces among those in the cities, Manila, Cebu, Dumagette, Davao, etc they are increasingly common on straight women.

[Stuckathome]

I want to know who paid for all those tats....and I agree, no way in hell Mary was a virgin. that was the scam to get Brandan to send the $$ and get on that plane. I am sure she has been a thorn in her Lalo's side for a long ass time adn they would be THRILLED to ship her off and let the $$ roll in. I have a feeling they know how to stretch a dollar and would be grateful for whatever help they send back. 

Johan....yikes. I know Danielle scammed him with the promise of a green card she knew she was never going to apply for, but I don't blame her for being pissed off. And how can he not see that the issue isn't him using some of her money....it's that he took it without asking her or even saying hey babe I needed some cash for whatever and i went to the ATM. If I saw withdrawals I didn't recognize and my husband denied making them, I would go to the bank to report fraud as well. Shit happens, people get hacked, etc. Believe who he is the first time he shows you, pack your shit and leave. AT least you earned some $$ from this show and apparently had some good dick for a while. Yohan is just pissed that of all the gringas he could have hooked up with he picked one that is tight with the almost non existent money she does have. 

Edited November 1, 2023 by Stuckathome

[Stuckathome]

15 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Imagine her scowling at customers as a cashier at CVS.

You are being generous.....I can see her scowling at at drive thru window

[libgirl2]

1 hour ago, Stuckathome said:

I want to know who paid for all those tats....and I agree, no way in hell Mary was a virgin. that was the scam to get Brandan to send the $$ and get on that plane. I am sure she has been a thorn in her Lalo's side for a long ass time adn they would be THRILLED to ship her off and let the $$ roll in. I have a feeling they know how to stretch a dollar and would be grateful for whatever help they send back. 

 

I don't know the rate for tats in the Philippines but I got a small one over 20 years ago and it was $50. 

[1011101010001]

2 hours ago, Stuckathome said:

want to know who paid for all those tats

She could have ahem bartered for them.

[anoninrva]

23 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

She could have ahem bartered for them.

They're not terribly complicated tattoos.  It could be a home kit.  Maybe not jailhouse, but possibly something close.  One of her male friends may have a tattoo gun.

[1011101010001]

I have a feeling some of the drug dens and flop houses Brendan’s mom spent time in may have had a few vermin.  She can knock off the Victorian swoon.  

[Shrek]

1 hour ago, MrBuhBye said:

I have a feeling some of the drug dens and flop houses Brendan’s mom spent time in may have had a few vermin.  She can knock off the Victorian swoon.  

I turned to Fiona & said "yeah because the crack houses she has frequented are spotless & well manicured inside & out ". 

[libgirl2]

1 hour ago, anoninrva said:

They're not terribly complicated tattoos.  It could be a home kit.  Maybe not jailhouse, but possibly something close.  One of her male friends may have a tattoo gun.

Possibly. I'm sure there are people who do home tattooing, but I doubt they are going to do them for free. 

Edited November 1, 2023 by libgirl2

[Stuckathome]

19 minutes ago, Shrek said:

I turned to Fiona & said "yeah because the crack houses she has frequented are spotless & well manicured inside & out ". 

yeah, but to be fair, she was probably so out of it, she didn't notice or care. And hey, I can't fault her for wanting better for her son: A better woman, #1, 'cause she recognizes what a life of misery he faces tied down to that crazy ass woman, and #2 a home that isn't filled with vermin and surrounded by dilapidated shacks. Shit, you want a crazy, lazy baby mama and to live in poverty son, you don't need to fly half way around the world where you don't know a soul and don't speak a word of the language. You can get that easily anywhere in the good old US of A, and collect your gov't check! lol

[libgirl2]

10 minutes ago, Stuckathome said:

yeah, but to be fair, she was probably so out of it, she didn't notice or care. And hey, I can't fault her for wanting better for her son: A better woman, #1, 'cause she recognizes what a life of misery he faces tied down to that crazy ass woman, and #2 a home that isn't filled with vermin and surrounded by dilapidated shacks. Shit, you want a crazy, lazy baby mama and to live in poverty son, you don't need to fly half way around the world where you don't know a soul and don't speak a word of the language. You can get that easily anywhere in the good old US of A, and collect your gov't check! lol

Good point, I'm sure when someone is strung out on drugs, they don't care of even know what is surrounding them. She probably doesn't like bugs (I don't) but had to play it up more for the camera. But as you said, she is seeing what her son is going to subject his life to and it isn't sitting well. And her going clean and rebuilding her relationship with him might have meant that she wanted a better life for him and it looks like  he isn't getting one. 

[Raja]

2 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

Possibly. I'm sure there are people who do home tattooing, but I doubt they are going to do them for free. 

Mrs Raja has a cousin who does tattoos in metro Manila but I never asked the price. We do have a niece who went to the provinces where a Lola used traditional methods to do her's. Again no pricing information but she did post a video of the process on her Facebook 

[Sir RaiderDuck OMS]

18 hours ago, Shrek said:

I turned to Fiona & said "yeah because the crack houses she has frequented are spotless & well manicured inside & out ". 

Assuming she's from Eugene like Brandan is, it wouldn't be crack. It would be either methamphetamine, cocaine or heroin. And her teeth look real, so it likely wouldn't be meth (which notoriously destroys your teeth).

There was also a TON of pot in Eugene even before legalization, but that wouldn't cause the addiction issues Brandan's mom had.

(Disclaimer: I mostly lived in the Eugene/Springfield area from the time I was a toddler into my mid-30s. To the best of my knowledge, I never met Brandan or any of his family.)

Her total bitchiness about Mary's family's house was beyond rude, though. Not every place is like America. She needs to chill the fuck out and actually Google a foreign land before she goes there. She was a shit mom whose son is a basket case, and therefore has ZERO right to criticize the way anyone else lives.

Meanwhile, Holly looks more strung out than ever. Whatever she's taking is doing a number on her lymphatic system. Notice how swollen her neck was? And you're in your 40s. Quit with the daily Zoom chats with Mommy.

Everyone in the TJ/Kimberly storyline continues to be awful except Kimberly's very nice parents. TJ has done a nice job gaslighting Kimberly about what her duties will be, and the fact that getting up at 5:30AM will soon be considered "sleeping in" for her. We'll all have fun watching when this blows up in his face.

Danielle and Yohan are both terrible people. She's a manipulative liar and he's a gaslighting thief.

[Stuckathome]

1 hour ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

Danielle and Yohan are both terrible people. She's a manipulative liar and he's a gaslighting thief.

Did Yohan ever explain what he spent that money on?? I have no idea where in the DR they live, but it seems like Yohan would know how to get by on little $$ (not that he wants to) and won't get charged the foreigner price when he is out shopping. Either he is hoarding the $$ in a different account, or he has another woman he is supporting. That is my guess. Because when she was rattling off all the withdrawals he made, I kept waiting for him to say, well I needed some money to pay for XX and didn't have enough in my account. 

And what cash is he depositing in that account anyway? I mean, he doesn't have a job, right? Or he didn't for a while. 

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, Stuckathome said:

Did Yohan ever explain what he spent that money on?? I have no idea where in the DR they live, but it seems like Yohan would know how to get by on little $$ (not that he wants to) and won't get charged the foreigner price when he is out shopping. Either he is hoarding the $$ in a different account, or he has another woman he is supporting. That is my guess. Because when she was rattling off all the withdrawals he made, I kept waiting for him to say, well I needed some money to pay for XX and didn't have enough in my account. 

And what cash is he depositing in that account anyway? I mean, he doesn't have a job, right? Or he didn't for a while. 

He said she left him with no food (she claimed there was frozen meat and rice).  If he’s lazy and buys three meals a day I imagine he could go through $40 pretty easily even in the DR.  And we’ve seen him drink beer so that could be going on as well.

[anoninrva]

23 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

Possibly. I'm sure there are people who do home tattooing, but I doubt they are going to do them for free. 

You'd be surprised.  They have to learn somehow.

[Scarlett45]

4 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

He said she left him with no food (she claimed there was frozen meat and rice).  If he’s lazy and buys three meals a day I imagine he could go through $40 pretty easily even in the DR.  And we’ve seen him drink beer so that could be going on as well.

I think it’s possible you and @Stuckathome are right. Yohan may have taken the money out of the account because he spent it taking someone else out while she was gone. I highly doubt Danielle left him with no food in the fridge, and if she did, and he really spent it on GROCERIES why lie?? “Yeah I had to get some things that time you were out of town.”

[Kath94]

On 11/2/2023 at 1:23 PM, Scarlett45 said:

I think it’s possible you and @Stuckathome are right. Yohan may have taken the money out of the account because he spent it taking someone else out while she was gone. I highly doubt Danielle left him with no food in the fridge, and if she did, and he really spent it on GROCERIES why lie?? “Yeah I had to get some things that time you were out of town.”

My reasoning is that he thinks all Americans are rich, and comparatively speaking, Daniele IS wealthy next to him.  She isn't voluntarily buying him a sports car, a house, or rental property, so he's going to get "what he's due" by hook or by crook, $40 ATM dollars at a time.  He was hoping she wouldn't notice but she did.

It also wouldn't surprise me if Daniele left her card sitting around the apartment to tempt him just so she could catch him at it.  The DR & Yohan aren't living up to her dreams, either.

[Scarlett45]

3 hours ago, Kath94 said:

My reasoning is that he thinks all Americans are rich, and comparatively speaking, Daniele IS wealthy next to him.  She isn't voluntarily buying him a sports car, a house, or rental property, so he's going to get "what he's due" by hook or by crook, $40 ATM dollars at a time.  He was hoping she wouldn't notice but she did.

It also wouldn't surprise me if Daniele left her card sitting around the apartment to tempt him just so she could catch him at it.  The DR & Yohan aren't living up to her dreams, either.

Yohan feels like Danielle duped him into marriage (which she did), but he knows his ass was wrong which is why he lied. 

They are both awful people but I’m more on Danielle’s side on this issue. Yohan was wrong for taking the money and then lying to her about it. I think her anger and hurt about that was genuine. I think Danielle married him because she liked him, the sex was good AND she wanted to get out of NY. But she lied to him so he would agree to marry her and not move onto another woman. She wanted to believe that he really wanted to marry her for herself, and not what she could do to enhance his life but that was a lie. 

[IvySpice]

Mother Brandan could make a lot more effort to be polite to her hosts. That said, Mary's so worried about being judged -- welcome to having a mother-in-law. MILs disapproving of your house, your cleaning, your parenting, etc. is just how it goes. Grownup women old enough to get married know this.

[Stuckathome]

On 11/7/2023 at 7:17 PM, IvySpice said:

MILs disapproving of your house, your cleaning, your parenting, etc. is just how it goes.

This made me LOL, hahaha, because it is SOOOO true, especially when you are a younger couple and maybe it is the precious son's first time living away from mommy. I remember my ex MIL sent a cookbook of traditional Peruvian recipes and my ex said oh my mom sent this so you can cook my favorite foods. Keep in mind, she herself did not know how to cook----they had a live in maid/cook who did that and our Xmas dinner one year almost didnt' happen because the maid had left and ex MIL didn't know how to turn on the oven. Seriously. LOL.