S04.E16: Gas Pump, House Dump and Stew Volcano

[bad things are bad]

In the thirty-four years I've been married--one kid, various pets--we've had 7 couches.  No way is a couch undergoing so much use going to last 30 years!

[ljenkins782]

On 3/26/2022 at 8:09 AM, Irate Panda said:

• Why didn’t Dan move into Louise’s condo and Darlene and Becky stay at the house?
• Why didn’t Patton Oswald offer to rent Darlene or anybody else the house for $500/month.  Even in Landford that’s got to be cheap for a whole house (I’d rather live with dead people than most of the live Conners).
• Patton “giving” Darlene his mortgage is so stupid I won’t bother really addressing it other than to say I hope they pretend he didn’t say that in the next episode.
• Dan was too broken down to do drywalling but now can build a whole house?
• Is Dan suppose to give up his paying job at the hardware store to build the house?  Is Ben suppose to give up his business so he can help too?  Will they drag Emilio out to help because Beverly Rose will need help putting on her tool belt and hard hat?  I think she’ll be in charge of roofing, Dan’s knees are shot.  It’s too hard for him to get up and down the ladder anymore.  Mark can certainly help.  I mean he built that birdhouse once, why not build a real house for his bird-like mom?

Why do I still care about these characters? The writers obviously don’t.

Yeah, why were the options "sell to Darlene or nothing"? Even if he didn't want to rent it out (maybe it was an extra hassle to hang onto it or he didn't want to deal with modifying the interior to make it more of a house than a funeral home, surely there is someone else in that depressed economy who would leap at the chance to pay $500 a month for a mysteriously transferred mortgage. 

And I just can't even with the superstition around living in that house. For $500/month for a house that size, I'd let them leave that damn coffin behind if they wanted. The Conners have apparently never heard the phrase "beggars can't be choosers," it shows in every decision they make. A chance to get out of your childhood bedroom/basement of your dad's house, a chance to give your kids rooms of their own, a little space to breathe. Nope, "just can't get past...". Stupid.

Quote

Louise really had a poor showing in this episode, between that and her asinine "just tear down a perfectly good house and have this beaten-down old man on the perpetual edge of total financial catastrophe build a new one" suggestion.

Yes, surely her powers of persuasion would have been put to use in encouraging the girls to take the house as is. It gets them out of HER house sooner and will let her get settled with her belongings and it will leave Dan out of it. He's already working for a living, what exactly is the plan? He builds the house on nights and weekends OR gives up his job and has nothing. For the amount of stress and strain this will put on him, who the hell would do it for free, especially since it won't be his? A huge payday would be the only reward for a job that big.

[chediavolo]

After I heard Louise’s fucked up suggestion of bulldozing a beautiful well kept historical Victorian home to have old man Dan put up a new piece of shit home that will never match the construction or have anywhere near the quality materials, it’s all I took away from this episode. White Trash  to the max! And sure, the bank is going to let you test down a mortgaged home! How fucking stupid are these people. Plus, BS on no one wanting to buy it!  I’d take that deal in a hot second. And then I’d have a priest come in to bless it, just in case🙂

[chediavolo]

On 3/24/2022 at 12:35 AM, jewel21 said:

I thought the exact same thing. How on earth could you just tear down a house built in the 20s like that? Such a travesty. 

It’s probably older than that. This episode had me fuming. I have a thing about assholes who “remodel”  or tear down vintage homes . 

Edited April 3, 2022 by chediavolo

[Ottis]

On 3/23/2022 at 7:37 PM, Annber03 said:

Can't say I blame Darlene and Becky for being a little weirded out by living in a former funeral home, though - when they opened the elevator and found that coffin inside I actually went, "Yeeeeeah, no." :p. But it is a good deal, and I like Louise's idea to help deal with the weirdness of it all.

It was a GREAT deal. I would approach it as bringing some good energy to a place that had been the site of grief before (though honestly, grief is a good thing - it sucks to go through it but it is part of being human and a place like that is a necessary step in processing it). I would have snapped up that place in a second, as is, and gone about giving it a new life.

And as you note, it would have added an interesting angle to the show, with Dan and Louise discovering interesting new things while doing work around that house. NOT a tear down. Use the house as a character.

Edited April 6, 2022 by Ottis

[Dreamawake719]

Apologies if this has already been discussed. Did anyone else think the horrible idea of Dan "building" the new house could be any sort of plot set up/foreshadowing of bad things to come with his character due to his existing health issues? I hope not. Eye rolls aside, I actually really do enjoy this show. 

[Kel Varnsen]

On top of what everyone else said about the house the real estate market in Lanford also makes no sense. It's a crappy town that no one wants to live in, but at the same time the only places that Darlene can afford are over an hour away. Even though she could have almost bought that house from a few episodes ago. And at the same time the market in Lanford is super hot but the funeral home guy can't even find a buyer for his house and gives it to Darlene and loses money on the deal (because she is just paying off what he has left on the mortgage). Plus if houses are in such high demand Dan should just sell his.

I did like Ben trying to help Jackie with the commercial. It was a nice reminder that he used to own a magazine so he does have a creative background. Plus it was kind of a Mad Men shout out.

[One Tough Cookie]

Maybe Dan's hands wouldn't shake so much if he wasn't drinking a beer in every scene.

[QQQQ]

I still can't believe Dan's own mortgage is  ~35 years old and shows no sign of being paid off anytime soon. That house probably cost Dan and Roseanne $75,000 (max).

 

Roseanne House for Sale 2013

Edited April 17, 2022 by QQQQ

[Bastet]

7 minutes ago, QQQQ said:

I still can't believe Dan's own mortgage is  ~35 years old and shows no sign of being paid off anytime soon.

They took second and third mortgages on it over the years of the original series - when Bonnie tells Roseanne Rodbell's is replacing the restaurant with a bargain bin clearance section (reflecting the changed economic circumstances that played out so realistically in the background of season four, showing how economic circumstances at the time Dan bought the bike shop were dramatically different by the time he lost it), Roseanne just stares at her for a wonderful here we go again; every time we think we've been okay long enough, the rug gets pulled out from under us again beat and then says, "I've got, like, three mortgages on my house" - and who knows what else they did in the unseen years between original series and revival, then this spin-off.  It's sad, but I wouldn't say it's unbelievable there's still a mortgage, given how often they leveraged the only asset they had.