S13.E16: Weighing the Decision

[Yeah No]

6 hours ago, kristen111 said:

On 11/4/2021 at 11:08 PM, TzuShih said:

I WISH that Rachel would ask Jose what his REAL reason is for not considering an 'exotic' (out of the country trip) a fun experience??  There are, perhaps, his personal feelings/fears of being in a 'foreign'' situation where he feels a personal discomfort at having to deal with an unknown setting. (It seems as though his travel experiences have been somewhat limited.  Perhaps Rachel's easy, fun expectations for confronting the 'new and exotic' make him feel nervous or 'inadequate.') I think this is definitely something they need to discuss.  I just don't see this as solely a "money issue."  I feel there is much more (fear?) going on with Jose's dismissive responses to exploring the world.  I would love to see them enjoy all there is to see in all the amazing parts outside of our country.
  

That’s a very good point .. exactly what I say.  Maybe he won’t admit to being scared of flying over water, not knowing the foreign language, many things.

I don't think it's about anything but money with José.  He's trying to manage Rachel's expectations by steering her toward less expensive vacations because he knows she isn't being realistic about being able to keep affording them now that they have other additional priorities that come with marriage.   He's willing to be flexible about his leisure budget in favor of putting more money toward kids and home.  She is not so flexible or realistic about that.  In this case José might be the one thinking realistically. 

Either that or he's a cheapskate!  But knowing how much all of those things would cost something has to be scaled back in favor of all the new things that they want to spend on now that they're married.  And usually the travel/leisure budget is scaled back because it isn't seen as essential as some of those other expenses that come along with starting a family.  So I agree with you that some of the travel expectations Rachel has are a function of wanting to cling to spending like a single person when she probably isn't being realistic about affording it.  Nothing wrong with it if you're that rich, but I don't think the two of them put together could afford all that from what I know about their income level.

[mythoughtis]

6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

, but I think the point here is that Rachel (and to some extent some of the others like Myrla) seems a little too unwilling to change some of her single behavior to focus on spending on other shared endeavors that she wants in addition to those things now that she's married, such as buying a house, furniture, having kids, etc.

This is my view too.  I will add that Rachel is all experience driven.  She has said herself that:

She does not have any retirement savings except for her teacher pension 

she does not have savings to speak of

She said she doesn’t know what her credit score is, except to know it isn’t in  the excellent category. My opinion is she knows and is ashamed, but not so much as to fix it 

she has multiple credit cards and got a new one specifically so she could charge travel to it.  Meaning her others were too close to  their limit to use. Probably high interest rate( not that any cards are low these days). 

Rachel is so far off the fiscally responsible trail  that she’s in the River being swept towards  the waterfall.  She will be the wife that opens  credit cards with secret PO Box addresses and then pays minimum payments. 
 

[kristen111]

6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I don't think it's about anything but money with José.  He's trying to manage Rachel's expectations by steering her toward less expensive vacations because he knows she isn't being realistic about being able to keep affording them now that they have other additional priorities that come with marriage.   He's willing to be flexible about his leisure budget in favor of putting more money toward kids and home.  She is not so flexible or realistic about that.  In this case José might be the one thinking realistically. 

Either that or he's a cheapskate!  But knowing how much all of those things would cost something has to be scaled back in favor of all the new things that they want to spend on now that they're married.  And usually the travel/leisure budget is scaled back because it isn't seen as essential as some of those other expenses that come along with starting a family.  So I agree with you that some of the travel expectations Rachel has are a function of wanting to cling to spending like a single person when she probably isn't being realistic about affording it.  Nothing wrong with it if you're that rich, but I don't think the two of them put together could afford all that from what I know about their income level.

You explained it much better than I could.  Thanks.👍

[kristen111]

7 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

This is my view too.  I will add that Rachel is all experience driven.  She has said herself that:

She does not have any retirement savings except for her teacher pension 

she does not have savings to speak of

She said she doesn’t know what her credit score is, except to know it isn’t in  the excellent category. My opinion is she knows and is ashamed, but not so much as to fix it 

she has multiple credit cards and got a new one specifically so she could charge travel to it.  Meaning her others were too close to  their limit to use. Probably high interest rate( not that any cards are low these days). 

Rachel is so far off the fiscally responsible trail  that she’s in the River being swept towards  the waterfall.  She will be the wife that opens  credit cards with secret PO Box addresses and then pays minimum payments. 
 

Wow, so she’s a credit card spender.  Not good.  My kid was once a UPS driver.  He said some women would get ten packages a day from QVC.  The husbands would catch him on the street and tell him not to deliver anymore.  He told them to call Headquarters, as he had to deliver.  The husbands were getting astronomical bills in the mail.  Thank God, we have zero credit card debt.  If we charge anything, we pay right away.  Sure trips to far off places sound very appealing, until the bill comes.  Guess Rachel doesn’t care.  I’d love to know where she’s been on these trips exactly.  Guess she hasn’t seen enough.  Jose seems a little cheap to me, but Rachel is way over the top.

[Yeah No]

47 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

This is my view too.  I will add that Rachel is all experience driven.  She has said herself that:

She does not have any retirement savings except for her teacher pension 

she does not have savings to speak of

She said she doesn’t know what her credit score is, except to know it isn’t in  the excellent category. My opinion is she knows and is ashamed, but not so much as to fix it 

she has multiple credit cards and got a new one specifically so she could charge travel to it.  Meaning her others were too close to  their limit to use. Probably high interest rate( not that any cards are low these days). 

Rachel is so far off the fiscally responsible trail  that she’s in the River being swept towards  the waterfall.  She will be the wife that opens  credit cards with secret PO Box addresses and then pays minimum payments. 
 

It sounds like Myrla has gotten all the heat for her spending but Rachel is much, much worse because she doesn't have savings and isn't following a budget, plus she doesn't have Myrla's income.  It's just that the show hasn't chosen to make her excesses as much of an issue as they have with Myrla.  And they're making Jose look like the bad guy about this for trying to reel her in a bit now that she's married.  Although I can't see how he's anything but the bad guy for locking her out, but that's another issue.

[kristen111]

12 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

It sounds like Myrla has gotten all the heat for her spending but Rachel is much, much worse because she doesn't have savings and isn't following a budget, plus she doesn't have Myrla's income.  It's just that the show hasn't chosen to make her excesses as much of an issue as they have with Myrla.  And they're making Jose look like the bad guy about this for trying to reel her in a bit now that she's married.  Although I can't see how he's anything but the bad guy for locking her out, but that's another issue.

Let’s face the facts.  Jose is on the cheap side about spending on travel.  Rachel is a liability and lives for today.  And, MARRIED PEOPLE DO TRAVEL, with children too.  We have traveled a million times with and without the kids, and have mucho savings, pensions, stocks and 401ks.  We don’t live under a rock.  We live in a place where taxes are the highest in the Country.

Edited November 10, 2021 by kristen111

[Empress1]

13 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Rachel is much, much worse because she doesn't have savings and isn't following a budget, plus she doesn't have Myrla's income.

And if what has been said is true re: a credit card specifically for travel, it sounds like she’s using credit cards as an extension of her income, which is a recipe for disaster. Like, if she has a credit card for travel because it offers travel rewards and she pays it off in full, that’s one thing, but I doubt that’s what she’s doing.

Edited November 10, 2021 by Empress1

[cinsays]

6 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Let’s face the facts.  Jose is on the cheap side about spending on travel.  Rachel is a liability and lives for today.  And, MARRIED PEOPLE DO TRAVEL, with children too.  We have traveled a million times with and without the kids, and have mucho savings, pensions, stocks and 401ks.  We don’t live under a rock.  We live in a place where taxes are the highest in the Country.

Jose just has different priorities and there is nothing wrong with him not wanting to travel internationally!

 It doesn't mean he is living under a rock, just choses to do other things.

[kristen111]

3 minutes ago, cinsays said:

Jose just has different priorities and there is nothing wrong with him not wanting to travel internationally!

 It doesn't mean he is living under a rock, just choses to do other things.

Not talking about Jose.  Talking about myself. 😀

[Yeah No]

39 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Let’s face the facts.  Jose is on the cheap side about spending on travel.  Rachel is a liability and lives for today.  And, MARRIED PEOPLE DO TRAVEL, with children too.  We have traveled a million times with and without the kids, and have mucho savings, pensions, stocks and 401ks.  We don’t live under a rock.  We live in a place where taxes are the highest in the Country.

He may not be that cheap.  Neither of them make that much money if you figure out his income vs. expenses on his whiteboard.  Plus they are just starting out with the kids thing and who knows how high her credit card balance already is before all of this is factored into the equation?

[Retired at last]

I think Jose is very similar to Brett (from Brett and Olivia) who was very focused on home ownership and didn't think that traveling was a priority. Same story - different cast. Seems to be part of the script. Let's see if this is also an issue next season.

So far the characters seem to be:

- I've never been in love or said I Love you paired with someone who falls in love easily

- I like to spend and travel paired with I like to save

- I hate pets paired with I have a pet

- I want kids soon paired with I don't know if I ever want kids

- I just ended my last relationship within 6 months paired with I haven't had a relationship for years

Anything else?

[seacliffsal]

Jose and Rachel seem similar to Bobby and Danielle in that Bobby (like Jose) had a home and Danielle (like Rachel) had credit card debt.  The difference seems to be that Bobby was open to paying off Danielle's debt and Danielle seemed open to cutting her spending (albeit reluctantly).  It will come down to how willing Jose and Rachel are to work with each other on their finances.

[kristen111]

4 hours ago, Retired at last said:

I think Jose is very similar to Brett (from Brett and Olivia) who was very focused on home ownership and didn't think that traveling was a priority. Same story - different cast. Seems to be part of the script. Let's see if this is also an issue next season.

So far the characters seem to be:

- I've never been in love or said I Love you paired with someone who falls in love easily

- I like to spend and travel paired with I like to save

- I hate pets paired with I have a pet

- I want kids soon paired with I don't know if I ever want kids

- I just ended my last relationship within 6 months paired with I haven't had a relationship for years

Anything else?

Yeah, wondering why we watch at all.  Everything they do causes drama on purpose.  Life is hard right now.  Why add to our misery?  Can’t we watch something nice for a change?   I don’t remember all this in the first few seasons.  Posters are getting fewer by the minute.

Edited November 10, 2021 by kristen111

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I don't think it's about anything but money with José.  He's trying to manage Rachel's expectations by steering her toward less expensive vacations because he knows she isn't being realistic about being able to keep affording them now that they have other additional priorities that come with marriage.   He's willing to be flexible about his leisure budget in favor of putting more money toward kids and home.  She is not so flexible or realistic about that.  In this case José might be the one thinking realistically. 

I agree - I think Jose's opposition to travel is primarily, if not exclusively, about money.  Something tells me, though, that even if they had sufficient income to pay all the expenses of home and kids, plus excellent savings, Jose will still prioritizing savings/paying down the mortgage/buying additional property over travel. I think it's just not important to him and he sees it largely as a waste of money.

[kristen111]

Tonight, I think maybe two will stay, then get divorced down the road.  Can’t let the experts look ridiculous.  Even tho they are, lol.  I can’t wait.  Get the popcorn.  Or vodka.  Or tequila.

Edited November 10, 2021 by kristen111

[ByTor]

3 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Get the popcorn.  Or vodka.  Or tequila.

Or all of the above 😂

[pdlinda]

3 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Tonight, I think maybe two will stay, then get divorced down the road.  Can’t let the experts look ridiculous.  Even tho they are, lol.  I can’t wait.  Get the popcorn.  Or vodka.  Or tequila.

Yes, I agree.  In the interests of making the show "seem" successful in their "mission" Jose and Rachel and Myrla and Gil will agree to "stay together" and then magically part company as soon as they pick up some extra $$$ by being on Couples Cam and/or some social media sites.

I especially project that outcome for Gil and Myrla because I saw a promo on Facebook earlier in the week when the experts were questioning them and both were quite definite in all the reasons why they were NOT compatible. 

As soon as I saw that "head fake" tidbit I said to myself that, yes, for the purposes of the slobbering experts when a couple decides to stay together, Gil and Myrla will indeed say "yes" and the champagne corks will explode. 

Oh, the DRAMA all leading to the inevitable conclusion of their eventual split.

[TzuShih]

3 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I agree - I think Jose's opposition to travel is primarily, if not exclusively, about money.  Something tells me, though, that even if they had sufficient income to pay all the expenses of home and kids, plus excellent savings, Jose will still prioritizing savings/paying down the mortgage/buying additional property over travel. I think it's just not important to him and he sees it largely as a waste of money.

I think that perhaps this whole Rachel ("exploring the world together") vs. Jose's ('we gotta set economical priorities') is indicative of their basic differences.  Not to say that this is a deal-breaker!

Remembering my own family holidays, my Dad was perfectly content to take us all on a trip to a nice hotel into the mountains (we lived in NY so anything 'rural' was exotic to us 🦨  My fave was a few weeks at a working farm!) ;  Gettysburg was great fun; & even clamming in Southampton was wonderful. 🦪  BUT, as we matured, AND as our Mom got the "travel bug," Dad admitted he was perfectly happy hanging around at home as his 'wandering family" did some worldly exploring.  He wished us bon voyage as we experienced the amazing countries around the world.  AND, he was fine when our Mom signed up to be part of the very first group of Americans allowed to travel through China!  She had so many stories to share with us -- China then was quite different from the China of today.

 Anyway, this long story is just a way to say that couples in love WANT to make their spouses' dreams come true."  There are so many stories they can share, and, in turn, they can truly enliven a long-term relationship. 💖

[kristen111]

On 11/4/2021 at 12:32 AM, Yeah No said:

I totally agree with you and that's the main point - I've said this again and again, that Myrla's success is a problem for Gil because he thinks HE should be the one with more money so he can be the one paying the bills like his father did.  I said that I saw his attitude as sexist WEEKS ago and it turns out that he is only confirming what I said.  He is expecting Myrla to have less so he can feel like the big man that supports not only his mother but his wife.  But she has worked hard and is not going to give that up any time soon.  And I don't think she should have to consider leaving her job for children after a maternity leave.   Why should she do that?  This is not the 1950s, a woman can have her career and have kids too.  She shouldn't be told by anyone that she should have to give up her job and live on half her SINGLE income!  That's just such an insult to her and to women in general!

I knew that Gil made that much less than she does - I posted several times that his income couldn't be that good as an entry level fireman plus supporting his mother.  His attitude towards her is more like "sour grapes" than anything else.  He made such a big stink out of her spending because he sees himself as supporting her and having to pay for that stuff.  But she supports herself so his problem is nothing but his big sexist EGO.  That's the only reason he "disapproves" of her spending.  If he made more money he wouldn't be acting like she spends too much.  Unfortunately coming from his culture his attitude is not unheard of even in this day and age.

GREAT POST, and TRUE.  

[Lindz]

Johnny's electric toothbrush died!!! 😅😂 That was funny. I hope that was the beginning of his curse. I hope he thinks of Bao whenever something goes wrong.