S13.E07: Home, Not Alone

[geej]

On 9/7/2021 at 5:46 AM, Gator Stud said:

It makes no sense because she lives in a tiny apartment in Houston. I could get why should wouldnt want to own a house.  But the apartment is way too small for Houston. If she had a nice apartment, I could still understand that.  But she doesnt. And she doesnt live in NYC or LA, so I dont understand why.  I think she spends rent money on clothes. She could have a place twice as large for $300/month more. I lived in a better place when I was in grad school and had no money.   So I just dont get it.

I didn't prioritize how big my apartment was. I liked having a fast car. I only made enough to have to make that choice. Same Same with her clothing. I can't understand the judgement in the size or being a rental. if she had people over all the time, she'd change her priorities maybe.  It's Just Choice.

[Airy2021]

On 9/2/2021 at 6:09 PM, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Yeah, I didn't catch the whole discussion on Unfiltered, but it seems like Johnny is assuming that activity is a given. Congrats on being up for it, I guess, but that doesn't mean Bao necessarily likes it, or has the energy or interest to participate if she's too tired to even shower.

Also, shout out to the demanding-hair, dry-skin ladies.  I know showering is not "just" a 5-minute event when you have to deal with either washing and drying long or curly hair, or putting it in a shower cap which means creases and tangles and damp edges, plus the whole moisturizing routine and waiting for the Eucerin to absorb so you're not all sticky...

José stresses me out. He's either low-key controlling, which sucks, or he's heading straight for high-key controlling, abusive, and obsessive.  He also held Rachel's torso while they were walking into a bedroom, like he was steering her. I don't know how she doesn't elbow him in the gut when he does that shit. Controlling her movement like that is such a red flag that he doesn't view her as an equal, autonomous individual.

Ryan stresses me out, too, but not in a "coming soon on Investigation Discovery" way. Being married to someone who gives zero nonverbal feedback, and almost zero verbal, would make me unhinged. His deadpan delivery can be funny, but it makes it hard to know when he's serious. He talks about wanting a family and planning for the future in exactly the same way he tells Brett that if the dogs don't get along, well, hers has had a good 11 years, so... (I assume that was a joke!) 

Regardless of how I feel about pit bulls as pets, I do hate to see any animal mutilated like that. Hype's ears aren't just cropped, which would be bad enough; they're downright mangled. Not okay.

Whenever Rachel talks, I picture Chandler Bing squirming and yelling "get there faster!"

I was impressed that Ryan was wiling to move the carcass. Even though hunting for sport grosses me out, I had to laugh when Brett asked if he killed it, and he was like, "of course I killed it!" He's hard to read but those moments make me think there's hope. 

Bao and Johnny are both complicated over-thinkers. I think Bao's childishness has been reinforced her whole life, and while it may not be her innermost true self, it would be nearly impossible to shed just for Johnny, and he likely wouldn't give her much encouragement no matter how she did it. I wonder how he would've been with someone like Haley. Love or hate her, she's definitely not the simpering type. He says he needs someone to be more into him than he is into her, but I think he actually sees those women as needy and clingy and he loses interest.  

Jose is obnoxious. He lost me when he mentioned he was the head of the household. Is this kind of mindset not archaic and beyond old fashioned??? I’m not a woman but I would find it incredibly demeaning and sexist to have a guy tell me he’s in charge of everything and he’s the “head of the household”. Marriage should be a total partnership imho. A guy shouldn’t instantly be the head of everything just because he has a penis. 

[JocelynCavanaugh]

16 hours ago, Airy2021 said:

Jose is obnoxious. He lost me when he mentioned he was the head of the household. Is this kind of mindset not archaic and beyond old fashioned??? I’m not a woman but I would find it incredibly demeaning and sexist to have a guy tell me he’s in charge of everything and he’s the “head of the household”. Marriage should be a total partnership imho. A guy shouldn’t instantly be the head of everything just because he has a penis. 

Yes, most women today are not going to be up for that plan. The ones who are typically meet men at a like-minded place like church or… IDK where else, honestly. 

[Elizzikra]

47 minutes ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Yes, most women today are not going to be up for that plan. The ones who are typically meet men at a like-minded place like church or… IDK where else, honestly. 

My husband and I joke about it. Whenever I don't want to make a decision (what to have for dinner; which dog to take for a walk), I remind my husband that he is the "head of household" - and he laughs...

[LennieBriscoe]

On 9/14/2021 at 9:36 AM, Racj82 said:

Hair isn't that deep for everyone. It's funny how it has evolved into this whole discussion. 

I used have a lot of hair oh my head at one point. I've been rocking a baldie for years. It's not because of work, it's not because of a receding hairline or any sort of outside pressure. It's simply easier to maintain a bald head. It's also cheaper. No more running to the barber shop. No more money on hair care products. 

Everything isn't that deep. 

Surely (don't call me Shirley) you jest!

Hair is very "deep."

A cure for baldness (not talking Rogaine here) is like the Holy Grail of both science and business! $$$$$

The global hair care market generates roughly 100 billion dollars annually, 15 billion of which is in the US.

Hair is part of our cultural mythologies, from Samson to Tony "Would ya just watch the hair?! Ya know, I work on it a long time, and ya hit it." Manero. From Medusa to Rapunzel to "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes."

On a personal note: As a woman with hair loss who wears hairpieces and uses products designed to cover bald spots, I can assure you that hair or the lack thereof has an enormous impact on one's self-esteem and social interaction. 

 

 

[Racj82]

3 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Surely (don't call me Shirley) you jest!

Hair is very "deep."

A cure for baldness (not talking Rogaine here) is like the Holy Grail of both science and business! $$$$$

The global hair care market generates roughly 100 billion dollars annually, 15 billion of which is in the US.

Hair is part of our cultural mythologies, from Samson to Tony "Would ya just watch the hair?! Ya know, I work on it a long time, and ya hit it." Manero. From Medusa to Rapunzel to "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes."

On a personal note: As a woman with hair loss who wears hairpieces and uses products designed to cover bald spots, I can assure you that hair or the lack thereof has an enormous impact on one's self-esteem and social interaction. 

 

 

Hair is not that deep FOR EVERYONE. You can't remove part of my statement to make a point. 

Everyone doesn't stress about it one way or another. My overall point at time was that Gil could have simply just wanted to rock a bald head and that's it. There doesn't have to be a huge reason behind it. Not everyone cares. SOME people care and some don't.

[Yeah No]

20 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

Hair is not that deep FOR EVERYONE. You can't remove part of my statement to make a point. 

Everyone doesn't stress about it one way or another. My overall point at time was that Gil could have simply just wanted to rock a bald head and that's it. There doesn't have to be a huge reason behind it. Not everyone cares. SOME people care and some don't.

I agree.  Using Rogaine or wearing a certain style because it helps with one's self esteem are usually considered fashion or "vanity" choices, which to me are not "deep" in the sense meant in the original conversation.  "Deep" in in the context of the Gil conversation would be if he gave into social pressure to conform to standards of appearance that are not his preference or personal choice just to be more acceptable to the greater "white" society.  And I agree with you that he probably is not doing that.  Gil doesn't strike me as the kind of guy that would give into that kind of pressure. 

[LennieBriscoe]

5 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Hair is not that deep FOR EVERYONE. You can't remove part of my statement to make a point. 

Everyone doesn't stress about it one way or another. My overall point at time was that Gil could have simply just wanted to rock a bald head and that's it. There doesn't have to be a huge reason behind it. Not everyone cares. SOME people care and some don't.

Fine. Mea culpa. However, I will posit that the "not everyone" are in the minority.

And that one's guess about Gil's  motives is quite as good as another's. 

 

 

Edited October 5, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[LennieBriscoe]

4 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I agree.  Using Rogaine or wearing a certain style because it helps with one's self esteem are usually considered fashion or "vanity" choices, which to me are not "deep" in the sense meant in the original conversation.  "Deep" in in the context of the Gil conversation would be if he gave into social pressure to conform to standards of appearance that are not his preference or personal choice just to be more acceptable to the greater "white" society.  And I agree with you that he probably is not doing that.  Gil doesn't strike me as the kind of guy that would give into that kind of pressure. 

People commit all sorts of deeds, from seeking therapy to buying hope to harming others to committing suicide, because of low self-esteem. 

It's true there are those who care not a whit for the opinion of others and dress and groom to please themselves, not "the 'greater' white society."

IOW, perhaps Myrla and Gil are two sides of the same coin.