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"Stan" culture

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13 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

I think this is the biggest misconception about toxic stanning.  It is absolutely not relegated to teenagers. I think there's comfort in thinking that it is but nope.  But I try to stay off of social media because you never know if people are looking for group think or a conversation.  If it's a conversation, they can be really good.  If it's group think, then posting something in opposition is frustrating.

 

Yeah, the toxic people I have seen online coming out with outlandish theories and harassing others online have all been adults.  It's not teenagers over on Crazy Days and Nights or Tumblr dissecting videos and comments to prove Meghan Markle was never pregnant with her children or that there is something fishy going on in Benedict Cumberbatch's marriage.  It's adults with fulltime jobs, families and other adult responsibilities who do this.  It's their hobby.  The toxic Stucky shippers who drove Emily Van Campen off Twitter were adults.  Same thing for the mob who drove Leslie Jones off of Twitter for awhile because she dared to star in a movie that ruined their childhood.  

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44 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Yeah, the toxic people I have seen online coming out with outlandish theories and harassing others online have all been adults.  It's not teenagers over on Crazy Days and Nights or Tumblr dissecting videos and comments to prove Meghan Markle was never pregnant with her children or that there is something fishy going on in Benedict Cumberbatch's marriage.  It's adults with fulltime jobs, families and other adult responsibilities who do this.  It's their hobby.  The toxic Stucky shippers who drove Emily Van Campen off Twitter were adults.  Same thing for the mob who drove Leslie Jones off of Twitter for awhile because she dared to star in a movie that ruined their childhood.  

It’s a hobby gone too far sometimes.

I’m an adult who writes fanfic and I find it fascinating how many fellow adults get angry because someone doesn’t like their favorite ship and they need to go ranting and raving over it and making reference to “haters” in the comments of their own fics like they’re 14. You do know you are writing/reading about fictional characters who will never thank you for defending them so passionately, don’t you? And they will never be your friends or be related to you no matter how much you say you identify with them. 

I am all for people writing what they want, shipping who they want, and liking whatever characters they want. But by the time you’re an adult, you shouldn’t be flipping your lid on Tumblr because someone interpreted your favorite couple as toxic and you disagree. Either have a civil debate with that person, or shrug and move on because not everyone interprets fictional shows and people the same. And if you can’t handle that, then maybe fandom isn’t for you. 

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1 hour ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Yeah, the toxic people I have seen online coming out with outlandish theories and harassing others online have all been adults.  It's not teenagers over on Crazy Days and Nights or Tumblr dissecting videos and comments to prove Meghan Markle was never pregnant with her children or that there is something fishy going on in Benedict Cumberbatch's marriage.  It's adults with fulltime jobs, families and other adult responsibilities who do this.  It's their hobby.  The toxic Stucky shippers who drove Emily Van Campen off Twitter were adults.  Same thing for the mob who drove Leslie Jones off of Twitter for awhile because she dared to star in a movie that ruined their childhood.  

Don’t forget about the toxic Star Wars fans and what they did to Kelly Marie Tran and John Boyega, among others.

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Oh...toxic shipping/stanning of real life people. That's some freakdaddy weirdness.

For those who aren't familiar, the three that I'm aware of that are just off the hook crazy stan theories are:

Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue, Canadian figure skaters, are secretly married and have three secret children they were forced to hide by the Canadian figure skating association in order to compete in the Olympics. This blog has been at it for like...a decade. And this from a post this summer:

Quote

The righteousness kicks in because Scott and Tessa are married. If it weren't true my saying this wouldn't make people riled. Over time I've asked fans why are you pissed off? As far as you're concerned I'm just a not all there no-life having internet troll with too much time on my hands and a one note fantasy life.

Tessa is actually dating a hockey player.  Scott is engaged to a physician's assistant.

Benedict Cumberbatch's wife, Sophie Hunter, is a drug-addict felon who faked her pregnancies. I don't even like Benedict and think he's just a mediocre actor with a Play-Doh face, but wow, he has my sympathy for dealing with this.  

Adam Driver and Daisey Ridley had an affair/are a couple. Adam is notoriously private and even kept the existence of his child a secret for 2 years. That's some hardcore privacy right there. Adam is married to Joanne Tucker. Daisy is dating Tom Bateman. 

I mean, sure, maybe for kicks I might enjoy reading some Rafael Nadal/Roger Federer slash fic, but I don't think they are secretly a couple and have been hiding it for decades. I just think that slash erotica is hot. 

There is a point when stanning goes wrong, whether it be an Oakland Raider fan stabbing a Charger fan, or this kind of internet insanity. 

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Yeah I don't think it is primarily teens either. I'm pretty sure the Outlander fans who have been known to harass the leads' real-life significant others because they're convinced that Sam Heughan and Catriona Balfe are an item who are hiding their relationship are not teens. 

She wasn't a mean person, but the most extreme Twilight fan I ever met was also a woman in her 40s. She was a classmate of mine about 12 years ago, during the peak of Twilight fandom. We'd sort of become friends, despite our massive age gap, and she was so excited to show me the PowerPoint she had made for her speech class. The assignment was to talk about yourself and your family. First slide was her, next slide was her and her daughter, third slide was them and their dog. All the other slides were pics of Robert Pattinson as Edward. I didn't even know what to say because she was supposed to do the presentation the next hour, and the Edward stuff was the part she was most proud of. I wish I was in her speech class and could have seen that go down! I was not a Twilight fan, and I am sure the look on my face when she changed slides to the first Twilight one was also priceless. 

1 minute ago, BlackberryJam said:

Benedict Cumberbatch's wife, Sophie Hunter, is a drug-addict felon who faked her pregnancies. I don't even like Benedict and think he's just a mediocre actor with a Play-Doh face, but wow, he has my sympathy for dealing with this.  

I remember hearing about this a few years ago and thinking it couldn't be real that people would act this crazy about a celebrity. Then I stumbled across one of the Tumblr accounts devoted to these conspiracy theories. Those people take the word toxic to a whole nother level. 

Edited by Zella
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11 minutes ago, Zella said:

I was not a Twilight fan, and I am sure the look on my face when she changed slides to the first Twilight one was also priceless. 

That is another thing.  So many extreme fans think everyone else loves what/who they love.  I have a relative that would tell me stories about people and I would say I'm sorry I don't know who you are talking and she would say yes you do, they are on Teen Mom.  The way she talked about them was like she was friends with them. 

I grew up during the time before the internet so when you watched a show and something big happened on a TV show the night before the next day at work or school everyone would be talking about it.   In some ways I miss that but in other ways I'm glad we now have boards like this to talk about it.  

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2 hours ago, ifionlyknew said:

That is another thing.  So many extreme fans think everyone else loves what/who they love.  I have a relative that would tell me stories about people and I would say I'm sorry I don't know who you are talking and she would say yes you do, they are on Teen Mom.  The way she talked about them was like she was friends with them. 

I grew up during the time before the internet so when you watched a show and something big happened on a TV show the night before the next day at work or school everyone would be talking about it.   In some ways I miss that but in other ways I'm glad we now have boards like this to talk about it.  

I miss the days when message boards were more popular! I was on TWOP and a couple ER message boards (ER is one of my all-time favorites; check my post history haha) and it was so fun to discuss the episodes and the characters with my online “friends.” There were disagreements that sometimes got heated, but for the most part, we had fun together. It felt a lot less toxic than platforms like Reddit and Tumblr tend to now. 

I think this is a good place, though. People disagree but are nice about it and you can be a lot more anonymous. Discord is nice too for that. 

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I like message boards, too. It's a much easier, simpler way for me to talk with people, and the topics feel more organized and easy to find. And I think they're (generally) easier to moderate, too. 

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There are some shows that none of my real life friends watch so without boards I wouldn't have anyone to talk about them with.  The only board I frequent that gets heated is the View board.  LOL

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2 hours ago, ifionlyknew said:

There are some shows that none of my real life friends watch so without boards I wouldn't have anyone to talk about them with.  The only board I frequent that gets heated is the View board.  LOL

The View has been controversial for a long time, hasn’t it? I was watching an ER episode from 2002 and two of the female characters were fighting, and Romano (surgeon who’s always been kind of an asshole if you’re not familiar) said “Ladies, if I wanted to see a good cat fight I’d watch The View!” I’m like well if that’s not still true in 2020…

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The biggest problem now is that, with streaming, you can watch a show when you get around to it, which makes it difficult to join in on the boards.  By the time I get to the shows I'm interested in, there are already multiple pages on every episode and it seems useless to say anything because it's already over and done with. 

Edited by Shannon L.
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3 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

The biggest problem now is that, with streaming, you can get to a show when you get around to it, which makes it difficult to join in on the boards.  By the time I get to the shows I'm interested in, there are already multiple pages on every episode and it seems useless to say anything because it's already over and done with. 

As someone who tends to catch on to shows late and doesn’t always follow trends, I can relate to this. (Like how the other night I watched the pilot of Chicago Med that already aired six years ago.)

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9 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

The biggest problem now is that, with streaming, you can watch a show when you get around to it, which makes it difficult to join in on the boards.  By the time I get to the shows I'm interested in, there are already multiple pages on every episode and it seems useless to say anything because it's already over and done with. 

Same. I tend to like to binge-record series' (ID network shows, mostly) and then watch them when the season is finished. Why I do this I do not know. But for competition reality shows that tend to only have a 'season' of six weeks, for example, it's an easier thing to want to wait until the end and then watch it at once over a day or two.

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On 8/19/2021 at 10:33 AM, Zella said:

Yeah I don't think it is primarily teens either. I'm pretty sure the Outlander fans who have been known to harass the leads' real-life significant others because they're convinced that Sam Heughan and Catriona Balfe are an item who are hiding their relationship are not teens. 

She wasn't a mean person, but the most extreme Twilight fan I ever met was also a woman in her 40s. She was a classmate of mine about 12 years ago, during the peak of Twilight fandom. We'd sort of become friends, despite our massive age gap, and she was so excited to show me the PowerPoint she had made for her speech class. The assignment was to talk about yourself and your family. First slide was her, next slide was her and her daughter, third slide was them and their dog. All the other slides were pics of Robert Pattinson as Edward. I didn't even know what to say because she was supposed to do the presentation the next hour, and the Edward stuff was the part she was most proud of. I wish I was in her speech class and could have seen that go down! I was not a Twilight fan, and I am sure the look on my face when she changed slides to the first Twilight one was also priceless. 

I remember hearing about this a few years ago and thinking it couldn't be real that people would act this crazy about a celebrity. Then I stumbled across one of the Tumblr accounts devoted to these conspiracy theories. Those people take the word toxic to a whole nother level. 

I remember the forum Called Twilight Mom's forum and there were a lot of weird people om there.

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One thing I don’t understand about this culture is the idea some shippers/stans have that the Internet has to be totally sanitized and positive to their obsession to the point that they can’t handle any disagreement. I’m in a Reddit for a show I like, and someone legit complained they know people who have left the sub because they didn’t like seeing “the hate” for their favorite character. Like, you joined Reddit expecting everyone to spread sunshine and feel the same way about your ship as you? At least know your audience and follow only like-minded positive blogs on Tumblr if you can’t encounter any disagreement because your skin is that thin. If you can’t handle someone disliking your ship or favorite character, what else can you not handle in life?

I don’t know. I ship Olivia and Elliot on SVU, but a lot of people don’t. But does it impact my life if someone hates that ship? No. I just move along and talk to people who do or write fanfic about it to get my ideas out. At the end of the day I have bigger problems than whether or not someone agrees with my fictional character pairing but some stans can’t separate disagreement with their ship from a personal attack on them. If you’re going to be in Internet fandom spaces, there’s not many ways to ensure everyone will always agree with you and be spreading sunshine up your ass. 

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On 8/19/2021 at 1:51 PM, Annber03 said:

I like message boards, too. It's a much easier, simpler way for me to talk with people, and the topics feel more organized and easy to find. And I think they're (generally) easier to moderate, too. 

I also find this place much more user friendly than Reddit. My friends are all about Reddit though.

I don't understand stans either. There are lots of celebs I really admire. But if someone doesn't like them or something they do, I don't care. I might try to understand their opinions, but I won't jump down their throat. 

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