S02.E09: Labor of Love

[Teriacky]

Whatever happened to the new front tooth Tammy was supposed to get? She didn’t swallow it, did she? 

[Mothra]

5 hours ago, IvySpice said:

That’s what children think adults do. Actual adulting means constantly doing things you don’t want to do. Adults anticipate consequences, follow rules, and accept limits. It’s children who do whatever they want until someone stops them. Tammy has it backwards. 

Yes.  But adults make those decisions to anticipate consequences, etc., for themselves.  Children don't.

It's the responsibility for one's own actions that children don't have in most situations that would matter to Tammy--what she is "allowed" to eat, for example.

In general, adults are obviously much more autonomous than children.

[mittsigirl]

On 3/2/2021 at 4:49 PM, Mothra said:

I was surprised, too, by how moved I was by this baby.  I'm sort of "meh" about Amy because I'm fixated on Tammy's health, so what a shock when I found myself close to tears over this little guy.  Michael is not a demonstrative fellow, but I'm sure his heart was full of joy, and I loved it when Amy tried to explain the kind of love you feel for your baby--it really is like nothing on earth.  Who would think you could love anyone so much?

 

I think both Amy and her husband will be great parents to the little guy, but also hope they do not over feed him just because he is starting his life as being a very small baby. I had my first baby when I had just turned 17-but the cycle of having babies as teens in my family has been successfully broken with my own daughters!-and when I was married and having my second, I was so afraid that I wouldn't have enough love for the second baby because I loved my first one so much! It's a blessing that as Moms we are given more than enough love to go around, no matter how many babies we have.

[chenoa333]

On 3/4/2021 at 8:58 PM, GaT said:

You don't seriously think that Tammy is willing to share her candy with anyone, do you?

Now I understand why Halloween is a favorite holiday for Tammy.....Candy! She even dressed up as a bat for Halloween to get candy and Jerry. 

I do hope Tammy gets her $hit together to be able to get surgery. However, she's still annoying me at this point. 

 

[swankie]

On 3/6/2021 at 11:34 AM, Mothra said:

And although her health is really teetering, I don't think it's fair to expect her to cut immediately to 1200 cal/day--she just can't do that, now or possibly ever. 

It might not seem fair to her but we see people doing it on My 600 Lb Life all the time.  Some of them that started out weighing more than Tammy have had success doing it so saying it shouldn't be expected of her just doesn't jibe with me.  If she wants to live, she must consume less calories to even lose the weight she needs to lose to qualify for weight loss surgery.  If the doctors are only giving her a few months to do this she's going to have to only intake around 1200 calories a day just like Dr. Now assigns to his patients.  As it is now with her eating habits and her propensity to blame everyone else for her failures, she's never going to qualify for the surgery.  The reason the doctors require them to lose a certain amount of weight before the surgery is not only to make the surgery safer, but also to make sure they are willing to make the life changes to their eating habits that prove they will continue those changes after surgery.  It's a waste of time to do the surgery if the patient is going to go right back to the bad eating habits they had pre surgery.  I think Tammy has the mindset of so many of the failures on 600 Lb Life that the surgery is like a magic pill.  You have to seriously change your eating habits FOR LIFE in order for the surgery to work.  Sadly I don't think Tammy is willing to do that. 

Edited March 8, 2021 by swankie
Added more thoughts.

[SunnyBeBe]

On rewatching this episode, I think I noticed that Michael had chewing tobacco in his mouth when he was driving Amy to the hospital to deliver the baby.  If you look carefully, you’ll see the little bulge under his bottom lip.  I’ve know a few people who do it and that’s how it looks.  You can tell the way he talked too.  Hope that’s not a regular thing. Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I think I’m right.  
 

I thought Tammy said that she didn’t like those prepared meals.  LOl
 

 

[CrazyInAlabama]

Is there some reason that Michael (Amy's husband if I have the wrong name) couldn't fill a trash bag or twelve?   Their place is filthy.      That's not a good environment for a tiny newborn. 

[swankie]

I roll my eyes every time Tammy blames portion control as the reason she can't lose weight.  Bitch!  It's portion size, foods high in fat and calories and frequency of the meals that keep you from not only not losing weight but keep you gaining weight!  Oh, and being immobile the majority of the day also contributes.  Let's keep it real!  

[Mothra]

9 hours ago, swankie said:

It might not seem fair to her but we see people doing it on My 600 Lb Life all the time.  Some of them that started out weighing more than Tammy have had success doing it so saying it shouldn't be expected of her just doesn't jibe with me.  If she wants to live, she must consume less calories to even lose the weight she needs to lose to qualify for weight loss surgery.  If the doctors are only giving her a few months to do this she's going to have to only intake around 1200 calories a day just like Dr. Now assigns to his patients.  <snip for bandwidth>

Tammy has been "working" with doctors to lose weight for well over a year.  People on M600PL who continue to gain weight throughout a year, as Tammy has, are dropped from the program.

It seems to me that Tammy has no ability, for psychological reasons including food addiction (or rather *eating* addiction), to succeed at a typical weight-loss diet, so I see no reason to expect her to be able to change her behavior.  AFAIC she is unable to stick to a 2000 cal diet, much less a 1200 calorie diet.

Expecting her to at least try to do this same thing over and over--restrict calories according to a prescribed diet--is cruel and pointless.

A new way is needed to help her lose weight--or force her to lose weight--before she dies from her size.  Of course, she's so depressed that maybe it's pointless to try to stop her from killing herself this way.

This is why I think a different approach is necessary.  All I can think of is either confine her and totally control what she eats until she reaches a weight where life is sustainable, or modify the entire idea of dieting to allow her control of the foods she eats, but with restrictions *maybe* she can live with, like the ones Dr. Now's diet imposes, i.e., three meals a day with no snacking, heavy on protein low on carbs, etc.  The idea then would be to help her reduce quantities at a very slow pace so that she can tolerate it.  This longer-term approach may not be feasible because she'll be dead by week two.

(I personally lost over 100 lbs and have kept it off--even losing more over time--for seven years now.  I did not "diet" but confined myself to three meals of whatever I wanted, but one serving only, and no snacks.  I weigh myself daily, not to see how much I weigh but for biofeedback--if I gain a pound or two, I consider what I'm eating at meals and where I can cut back--you can do this by setting the scale to 100 lbs for your weight, no matter what you weigh.  And I will be doing this for the rest of my life.  Tammy probably does not have time for this approach.)

I agree with you that the idea of wls for Tammy is ridiculous.  I don't think anyone believes she could live with the restrictions she would need to incorporate into her diet, and as you say it's a life-long commitment.

Further, I think it's also ridiculous to expect Tammy to maintain *any* kind of weight loss over time, wls or not, and my plan would have her resubmitted to the confine-and-starve method when she hit some predetermined "danger" weight--maybe 400 lbs. Repeat as necessary.  I would hope that over the years (assuming she lives), it would take longer and longer for her to regain to that weight, whatever it is.

Tammy has deep and abiding emotional problems, including a sense of herself as a loser (not of weight!) so why even try.  She is also extremely depressed.  Those issues should have been addressed, aggressively, a long time ago, as soon as it became clear that she was unable to follow the program.  I'm not hopeful for Tammy in this area either, although medication would probably help a lot, for starters.

Being stricter and less compassionate toward her will not make her lose weight.

It's hard not to be censorious about Tammy because it seems as if she's being stubborn and refusing to do what needs to be done.  No matter how we feel about the "morality" of Tammy's behavior--we all have to diet to lose weight; why doesn't she?--Tammy is going to die, and soon, if she doesn't lose weight.  Right or wrong, fair or unfair, disgusting pig who won't try or manipulative baby who wants everything done for her--she is going to *die* unless something works.  "Should" has nothing to do with it at this point--of course we're all responsible for our own choices, but what good does that upright, moral, ethical stance do if adhering to condemnation of Tammy instead of finding a way to work around her difficulties--offensive to our sense of right and wrong or not--allows her to die?

But:  as I said above, maybe a slow suicide is what this is all about.

 

Edited March 9, 2021 by Mothra
"To" isn't "the"; further ranting

[RealReality]

@Mothra - excellent and very thoughtful post.  And amazing, AMAZING job on the sustained weight loss.  You don't need me to pat you on the back, but I'll do it anyways, thats amazing!

[Friday]

On 3/3/2021 at 8:07 AM, FurBabyMama said:

Personally I don’t care they don’t show amy checking her glucose. TLC long ago abandoned being “The Learning Channel”. They’re producing entertainment, and I would sincerely hope that if someone is diabetic and pregnant, they would get their advice from their doctors and not take a narrative from a tv show. There’s plenty of things that people do that don’t make for interesting TV, which at the end of the day is what the producers are after. 

Apparently TLC quietly gave up the "learning" channel premise around 2014.

I don't recall this rebranding, and I sure would not call it "tender loving care!"  Maybe: Take 

(a) Lesson Chump."