Jump to content

Type keyword(s) to search

Jackie Goldschneider: Gift Bags, Schmift Bags

  • Reply
  • Start Topic

Recommended Posts

On 3/11/2021 at 1:09 AM, LibertarianSlut said:

Why does Jackie feel the need to wear all of her clothes so damned tight?  No one is interested in her tiny muffin top sitting atop a designer belt.  Has she been acquainted with a three-way mirror in any of her many homes yet?  Jackie is using her brother in a sordid way, as @ichbin pointed out.  I did like how her told her to get over it, much like Gia told Teresa last episode.  Getting over it would not fit Jackie’s narrative, so the only thing she will let go is what her brother told her.  I wonder why Jackie won’t produce her sister, now that she is filming through a phone.  They really should have taken out her solo scenes and taken her out of the opening last episode like they did to Aviva in RHNYC season six, when she refused to go to Montana.  Hopefully she’ll go the way of Aviva...

Jackie was not missed, and, to go all Marge, “by the way” that Lake George house was nicer and more inviting than Jackie’s tall, skinny, less than 2,000 square feet Westhampton Beach property from last season.  

Jackie is getting more and more desperate.  I guess they didn’t teach how to apologize or analogize at Fordham Law (which, I’m sure is a lovely school, but for every rule there is an exception).  Nor did they teach how to promote yourself without appearing shameless.  When Jackie screeched at Melissa through the phone, my china shook.  She is hanging onto her sanity by a thread.  Everyone is reading the tea leaves, and, for all different and self-serving reasons, they’re all backing Teresa. I’m just going to do a running count, because it’s actually amazing what will happen if someone doesn’t stand up for themselves.  Number one was Jackie’s aforementioned brother.  

Number two was Margaret at the coffee shop telling Jackie that she would have wanted to know about the cheating rumors.  Jackie, with the rat’s nest head of hair from hell (at least The Marge had the good sense to wear a hat in the Jersey humidity) reacted in such a mature way.  She reached over, took Margaret’s hand, said, “I can understand and sympathize, but I feel differently.”  Oh, wait, no, Jackie desperately reminded Margaret that Teresa orchestrated the “assault” of Danielle on Margaret, and sarcastically jeered “I know you’re smarter than that” whilst violently rolling her head back in contempt.  If Jackie would have paused for one moment, she could have looked into Margaret’s eyes and seen the dollar signs that had long ago replaced her pupils and realized that, at the end of the day, Margaret doesn’t give a shit what Teresa does, because Teresa keeps this show going, which allows Margaret to climb out of her bankruptcy.  I guess they don’t teach how to know your ally/know your opponent at Fordham Law.  

Speaking of not knowing your opponent, did Jackie actually think Teresa was going to give a shit if she wasn’t invited to Evan’s second very merry un-birthday?  Jackie, girl, I know you watched the show.  When the twins invited Dina, but not Tre and Amber to their event in season six, Teresa fell onto Amber laughing at how obvious and boring their game was.  Last season, Margaret tried to play hardball against Teresa by not inviting her to drag queen bingo (gee, who would want to miss that?!?) and all Teresa did was say one swear word to a trembling Margaret in the Hamptons.  

Jackie is still salty that she was not invited to the obstacle course last season, so she decided to enact her revenge by inviting everyone but Teresa to a restaurant that had corn hole.  Shot taken, shot missed.  Yet again.

Ok, so when it comes to JoeGo, and Jackie has to face him, the Gia thing was “SUCH an analogy.”  Interesting.  I guess they didn’t teach superlatives at FL either.  But what was great was that the stars fell from the eyes of two more cast members—Melissa and Joe Gorga—as cast members three and four who failed to back Jackie.  It is too bad Jackie felt “so low,” but why, if it is was not just an analogy, but “such” an analogy?  What happened to Teresa leaving Margaret’s house and Jackie saying to Margaret, “if she can’t see that was an analogy then I can’t help her” (paraphrasing, but not making up shit that wasn’t said, so sort of like Jackie, but not really).  😶 She needs to pick a lane. 

I’m so glad to learn that Evan is a big guy in finance.  Is he like Big in Sex and the City where no one will explicitly say on the show what he does for some reason?  Or maybe there is a pretty good reason.  Maybe he’s not such a big deal on Wall Street after all.  Oh well, that prenup will keep Jackie warm at night I guess.  

I will never not enjoy the irony that Joe is trying to stick up for his sister by telling Jackie and Evan that Teresa did this to “look out for” Jackie, all the while that Teresa feels no loyalty to Joe.  But that is not the full story—all of the men on this cast, as I documented at length last week, seem to have a vested interest in outing Evan, so Joe said that for himself, not Teresa IMO.  Good luck calling the dumb Joe Go “dumb” to his face, Evan.  Check out how that worked out for Jim Marchese.  Evan might remind himself that Joe Go is a pet of Andy’s, unlike Teresa, whom Andy hates.  

Excuse me while I gag at Jackie trying to kiss Dolores’s ass by telling her she looks so skinny at the Evan event.  Jackie is taking this play right out of Melissa’s pathetic book in season three when Melissa was trying to cozy up to Jacqueline and Caroline to spite Teresa (history repeating itself) and Melissa told Jacqueline at the Posche Fashion Show that Jacq looked like “a stick!”  It was bullshit then and it’s bullshit now.  Neither Dolores nor Jacqueline were skinny sticks, though they have perfectly good figures, and no one is buying the ass kissing.  

Aw, poor Jackie!  She is salty that Jennifer is cozying up to Teresa (though she phrased it in a way much more crass than that).  Gee Jackie, maybe if you hadn’t spent all of last season trying to punish Jennifer and trying to extract apology after apology from her with a pair of tweezers, she would have remained your friend and stuck up for you the way she did in season nine.  Jennifer is a good friend to have, but Jackie chose to alienate her because of her shortsighted self-righteousness and now it is coming back to firmly bite her in the ass.  And Jennifer went against Jackie re Evan-gate, which makes the count of people who are not backing Jackie in this episode alone at a whopping five people, which is 83% the size of the full-time cast.  Jackie, it might be time to start looking for a job.  You’re not cut out for this.  Just sayin. 

Ok, so the gauntlet has been thrown:  Jackie has, once again, vowed on camera that she will never acknowledge Tre.  Let’s see how that turns out...

Those were ma’ deep thoughts.  😇

Here is my meditation on Janky Jackie for this week!  😁

  • LOL 5
  • Love 2
Link to comment

She looks like a camel.  When she speaks, the way her top and bottom teeth move makes it look like she's chewing cud or something.  She needs to try thinner eyelashes and not those heavy down pulling ones.  OK, on a nicer note-- I think her figure looks very good.  🙂 

  • LOL 1
  • Love 3
Link to comment

I am rewatching rhonj, just got to Jackie's first season.

She and Evan both look really different.  Just saying.  We know she had her teeth done, but she has clearly had some other work.  Just not sure what.  And we know from the press that Evan lost some weight, and he grew in the facial hair.  That might account for tbe difference in appearance but I won't lie I wondered if he had some suble work done too.  Somebody go back and watch - the episode right after the oklahoma trip.  You get jackie and evan talking while she folds laundry.  It is a big difference.

  • Useful 1
  • Love 5
Link to comment
On 3/13/2021 at 4:16 PM, ichbin said:

This!  Not long ago I mentioned that I thought she would aim primarily for the low hanging fruit, possibly knowing or fearing that aiming higher will reveal her as being less than.

I can't be the only one who was disappointed we did not hear more details about that cruise situation.  That would actually have been interesting.  

I suspect she entered this fancying herself to be the RHoNJ answer to Bethenny Frankel. She's not. In this franchise she is an example of "one of these things is not like the other", but not in an intriguing way. The rest of the ladies know how to play the game.  All she's got is her willingness to take on T.  She can't be HBIC while at the same time wallowing in victimhood. Unfortunately she and her family are boring by RH standards, she reeks of a superiority complex and a far too obvious thirst for the limelight.

Some interesting gossip on the net this week.  One I read claimed that production wanted the estranged sister on the show that Jackie absolutely refused, and production was not pleased. Another is that she refused to go on the lake trip and pissed off production for that.  What I have noticed for sure is a marked increase in negative posts regarding her.  Makes me wonder if there is some truth to the gossip and if production decided to give her enough rope this season. 

Of course she is going to wind up getting together with T at some point, but I have to say the less she is on the screen the better.  Even better if the others would not mention her.  

Excellent recon—any links you can post about the sister or any of the inside baseball to which you referred and I bolded??  Methinks there may be gold in them thar hills! 😀

  • Love 4
Link to comment
3 minutes ago, FozzyBear said:

Why is Jacki estranged from her sister? I admit I have the worst memory about Jacki.

Excruciatingly nonspecific reasons were given in season 9. Basically she said they didn't get along, and when they got older decided that they didn't want strife and toxicity in their lives, and went their separate ways. But of course her mom wasn't a fan of this, and Jackie called her sister near the end of the season. It seemed they'd be reconciling and meeting up. We have never heard a peep about this (that I can recall) since the end of season 9. 

I'm all for keeping your family shit off TV (See: Melissa and Joe Gorga; the Sussexes) because airing your dirty laundry makes you look like a thirsty, mean-spirited asshole, but it is kind of strange that that was a whole storyline of Jackie's that was never followed up on in two years. I respect that her sister might not want to be on TV, but no mention that they had a great lunch/reconciled at all? 

  • Useful 1
  • Love 5
Link to comment
12 hours ago, LibertarianSlut said:

Excellent recon—any links you can post about the sister or any of the inside baseball to which you referred and I bolded??  Methinks there may be gold in them thar hills! 😀

@LibertarianSlut, I can't recall where I saw most of the gossip posted (I just keep clicking and fall into rabbit holes).  I was able to locate one of the more interesting bits which I have seen reposted in a few places. https://www.instagram.com/p/CMRBPcVj_qC/  One can only guess as to how much truth it contains.  

  • Useful 2
  • Love 1
Link to comment

A big part of Jackie’s problem is that she violated the rule of “know thy franchise.”  She thinks she is on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills where they will go an entire season combing the contents of one comment.  Jackie keeps waiting for a pause in the action so that she can get in her prerehearsed line, so that someone like Kyle will give a big O face and Lisa Rinna will dissect it and everyone will be like, “wow, can you believe what Jackie said about Teresa becoming confident in jail?  Oh my.”  

This is not Beverly Hills though.  Or, to quote Nene, “this ain’t Phaedra!”  On this show, the fights come fast and furious and it simply doesn’t work to sit back and say “you can yell at me.”  The others do not pick up on your sardonic tone or note the irony of the situation, because they are too busy grabbing glasses to break on the table and readying themselves to tell you “your husband’s fucking cheating” (and then they will calm down and apologize), but you gotta keep up to hang.  Waiting for a quiet moment to sit back, curl a lip and hiss something about jail or cocaine may work in Chi, Chi, Chi Beverly Hills, but that don’t play in Jersey.  And even in Beverly Hills, people will threaten to go Oklahoma on your ass when you go too far.  

Jackie is in deep waters.  By waiting for her turn to speak, she is in danger of becoming RHNJ’s answer to RHNYC’s Cindy Barshop.  Cindy was the one-season wonder who had to be prodded by Luann to get her two cents in at the reunion, and instead of getting her point in, Cindy took that opportunity to lecture Luann on how rude it was to prompt her to defend herself.  And I am not even being hyperbolic when I say no one’s really heard from Cindy since...so, best of luck to you with the quiet, deliberative method, Jackie.  You’ll need it.  

  • LOL 4
  • Love 1
Link to comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...