S04.E13: America’s Roast Wanted

[OnceSane]

Quote

Paige and Amanda confront Hannah about her steamy night that leaves them blindsided. Carl and Jules bond over their summer of relationship mishaps, while a new rumor about Carl and Danielle spreads through the house. Meanwhile, while defending Hannah’s hookup, Lindsay's harsh opinion puts her in Paige's sights. Finally, as the end of the summer nears, barbs are exchanged at the first-ever house roast, but not everybody can take the heat.

Airs April 29, 2020.

[Mr. Miner]

Hannah and Lindsey are kind of, you know, disgusting!

[RedDelicious]

Omg fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck youuuuu Amanda. And Paige. And even Jules a little bit. You go play with your boyfriends that both of you are on your phones with constantly whether you’re calling them every two hours from the closet or gorilla texting them because they went out without you. Go to hell. Seriously. You don’t get to call the shots because you think you’re all high and mighty with your relationships. Kyle is a serial cheater and only douchebags drive G-wagons. It’s 2020 ffs, not 2002.

[whydoievencare]

Perhaps if Hannah hadn't shared every single detail about her non relationship with Luke, the friends wouldn't have felt so pissed off on her behalf.  Most of this is on Hannah. 

[shellbell1015]

Why are Paige and Amanda so invested in Luke and Hannah’s (not-so-personal) business?  Not getting why they think they deserve to know whether or not L&H had sex.  Maybe they are jealous.  Hell, I’d do Luke if I could.  He’s hot.  Even if he’s a player, he’s been somewhat honest and if Hannah wants to do him, then fine.  Don’t get the crying scene at the pool.  Is it that serious?? Oh yeah, they are all still pretty much straight out of the womb and pretty immature.  Such “Save By The Bell” shit.  Paige’s swimsuit was cute.

Edited April 30, 2020 by shellbell1015

[MadMiniaturist]

I know people rag on Hanna's looks but I find Amanda rather butterfaced. Can't stand Jules. She reeks of desperation.

[Koalagirl]

I like Jules but I think she’s overcompensating after having been told by Carl and Hannah that she isn’t trying to connect with anyone.  She’s trying too hard to fit in now by running around and repeating conversations she’s overheard.  Sure, so do the others but if you want to act like a grade school tattletale it’s not a good look.

[NannyBails]

Granted, I haven't watched this show that long, but maybe the girls are being so grade-school about Hannah/Luke is because there's really nothing else going on and they have to do something to create some sort of drama? 

The roast seemed very producer-driven.

[heatherchandler]

3 hours ago, MadMiniaturist said:

I know people rag on Hanna's looks but I find Amanda rather butterfaced. Can't stand Jules. She reeks of desperation.

Amanda is ugly, and she gets uglier every week.  

[bichonblitz]

I like the gang up on Lindsey because I don't like Lindsey. Keep it up, girls. 

It's going to be interesting when Kyle has to fire Carl for being a drunk loser on the job. You know it's coming. Carl has real issues. Can't keep a job, drinks too much, ruins every relationship he starts. 

By the way in real life Carl would never be able to afford the summer rental in the Hamptons because he's always out of work.  I don't care how many ways they split the rent. It's still one of the most outrageously expensive summer destinations in the country.  

Other than that I can't believe this show is still on the air. 

Edited April 30, 2020 by bichonblitz

[geauxaway]

57 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

 

I like the gang up on Lindsey because I don't like Lindsey. Keep it up, girls. 

 

Yessss!!!  Man that roast got under her skin.  I loved it!

Danielle used to get on my nerves mostly because I thought she was boooooring.  I like her this time around.

I wish Carl could pull it together but he needs some major therapy and needs to stop drinking.

I am really interested in trying LoverBoy, I wonder if it is in national distribution.  I doubt it, but if I saw it at my grocery store I would absolutely buy it.  
 

Lastly, on this Hannah and Luke stuff.  I feel like we are only given part of the story and there was more going on that made Paige and Amanda so irritated over it.  But then I also remember that these girls are in their 20’s and I was SUPER messy and meddling  when I was that age.  And I wasn’t in a summer house, this was just day to day M.O. with some of my friends.  I mean I’m not saying it’s the best way to act, but I get it.  

Clearly Paige got over it quick and she is really the one who has an established non house relationship with Hannah.  

[RedDelicious]

☝️ truth @bichonblitz. Lindsay must have paid for the GX rental for the summer because we know Carl doesn't have any money. Unless production is chipping in on all their vehicles, which is also possible. 

Edited April 30, 2020 by RedDelicious

[geauxaway]

Just now, RedDelicious said:

☝️ truth. Lindsay must have paid for the GX rental for the summer because we know Carl doesn't have any money. Unless production is chipping in on all their vehicles, which is also possible. 

Speaking of which.  Why does Luke have a Suburban??   Him and Hannah pulled up in that and they were the only passengers.  So even if it was a rental why wouldn’t you get something smaller for just 2 people for a 3 hour drive?  And if it’s not a rental, how is he affording to park that thing in the city?  Yet he is pawning the engagement ring for more than what the expert said it would go for.  And he’s also selling a Corvette?   🤔

[RedDelicious]

5 minutes ago, geauxaway said:

Yessss!!!  Man that roast got under her skin.  I loved it!

Danielle used to get on my nerves mostly because I thought she was boooooring.  I like her this time around.

I wish Carl could pull it together but he needs some major therapy and needs to stop drinking.

I am really interested in trying LoverBoy, I wonder if it is in national distribution.  I doubt it, but if I saw it at my grocery store I would absolutely buy it.  
 

Lastly, on this Hannah and Luke stuff.  I feel like we are only given part of the story and there was more going on that made Paige and Amanda so irritated over it.  But then I also remember that these girls are in their 20’s and I was SUPER messy and meddling  when I was that age.  And I wasn’t in a summer house, this was just day to day M.O. with some of my friends.  I mean I’m not saying it’s the best way to act, but I get it.  

Clearly Paige got over it quick and she is really the one who has an established non house relationship with Hannah.  

I thought the roast was entertaining but I thought Lindsay kept it together pretty well. I don't like her either, but I thought it was cool when she sat down and was like WTF was that. I guess we can say at least she didn't smash a watermelon in the house. Paige losing her shit (was that in the preview?) was funny. I guess she had to step it up because all the closet phone calls were detracting from her contributions to the show. I like Danielle this time around too.

I don't think there's anything more to Hannah and Luke than Paige and Amanda projecting onto her. Amanda literally has no room to talk, but I would also never agree to marry a man who had cheated on me at any time during our relationship, so I have some pretty strong opinions on her. But yeah I remember the 20s relationship drama too, kind of hilarious. They are being so juvenile.

I wonder if Loverboy is any good or if it will go the way of Bethenny's pre-mixed low calorie cocktails. More power to them for trying but I don't know what the viewership and free marketing is like for this show. There's only like 12 of us who watch it (and I'm thankful for all of you because this quarantine thing is no fun) 🙂 If they're ever sampling it in the grocery stores and bars up here, which is possible bc Kyle comes here on family vacay, I'll try it.  

[RedDelicious]

13 minutes ago, geauxaway said:

Speaking of which.  Why does Luke have a Suburban??   Him and Hannah pulled up in that and they were the only passengers.  So even if it was a rental why wouldn’t you get something smaller for just 2 people for a 3 hour drive?  And if it’s not a rental, how is he affording to park that thing in the city?  Yet he is pawning the engagement ring for more than what the expert said it would go for.  And he’s also selling a Corvette?   🤔

I suspect its a production vehicle - I think there are two black suburbans, the GX and Kyle's M5. I think Kyle and Lindsay get the good cars as the OGs, and the two suburbans are what they always take when they go out and a production person drives.

The M5 sedan is literally a 6-figure car and there's no way Kyle could afford that on his own along with the rent on their apartment AND a summer share without production chipping in on the costs.  Especially if Amanda (stupidly) quit her corporate job and they have to pay for their own health insurance. And you're right, it makes no sense for these guys to have vehicles in the city with insurance and garage costs. I'm confident they're paid for by production.

Luke probably does have a Corvette somewhere at home in Minnesota. I had one as a day rental on a work trip once and that thing was FUN.

[geauxaway]

20 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

There's only like 12 of us who watch it (and I'm thankful for all of you because this quarantine thing is no fun) 🙂

IKR??!!  I do actually like this show.  I’m sad we don’t get more traffic in here.  
 

 

[FozzyBear]

If Amanda was projecting anymore she could show movies. She is miserable and meddling in Hannah's love life as a distraction. Lindsey had a point, Amanda was a 3am booty call a mere 3 years ago so I'm not sure why she is so outraged at Hannah. Mine your own miserable business. I'm actually starting to feel bad for Kyle. Amanda as the immature, needy, control freak is starting to emerge. I was also messy about getting in my friends business when I was young but watching her shove Kyle off of her because she wasn't done pouting about Hannah and Luke was beyond. And then she sat through the whole (painful) roast with a sour puss on her face. When she doesn't get her way she is such a killjoy. And she's becoming a little old lady right before our eyes.The only time she managed to smile at all was her super sexy and not at all uncomfortable display of how much she loves Kyle by straddling him. No one, I repeat no one, should feel like they have to prove they still got it at 27. Kyle, buddy. Call off the wedding. You and Amanda are terrible together. He's going to keep cheating and she's going to get increasingly bitter pretending she doesn't know what everyone is talking about. 

Paige also needed to shut up. I usually like her but getting that upset that Hannah has bad taste in dudes? Find a better coping mechanism because I doubt this particular problem is going away anytime soon. Hannah strikes me as the type who always has bad taste in dudes. Luke probably isn't that bad on her scale and I don't even like Luke. At least she grew up and apologized to Hannah. I do sort of wonder though if her whole "I came here this summer for you!" was actually about signing on for another season of the show. Paige just really doesn't seem into it at all this season. Maybe she agreed to it for Hannah's sake and was upset that she agreed to spend another summer being filmed with people she doesn't really like and Hannah decided to do with a fuck buddy story instead of a girlfriends having a great summer. Although she did go in hard on Lindsey so good for her for brining the drama in the 9th inning.

Despite all the drama, I still don't care about Hannah and Luke. They're both creepy and boring together. I really don't care what they're doing.

I don't think Carl understand what a roast is...or what comedy is. What is wrong with that guy? He needs a team of therapist working around the clock.

[KittyKat133]

16 hours ago, geauxaway said:

I am really interested in trying LoverBoy, I wonder if it is in national distribution.  I doubt it, but if I saw it at my grocery store I would absolutely buy it.  

I live on Long Island and I’ve seen a bunch of people I know trying it around here. I think they got into Whole Foods and the beer distributors on the whole island. People are raving about it and they have no idea what summer house or who Kyle cook is! I’m 8 months pregnant but it’s going to be my first drink this summer! 

[geauxaway]

3 hours ago, KittyKat133 said:

I live on Long Island and I’ve seen a bunch of people I know trying it around here. I think they got into Whole Foods and the beer distributors on the whole island. People are raving about it and they have no idea what summer house or who Kyle cook is! I’m 8 months pregnant but it’s going to be my first drink this summer! 

I think it looks like a great pool drink (plus it’s in cans)!    That’s cool that you’ve seen it around for sale!

So, I just found their website and it looks like it is available in a bunch of locations in NY and also WI (?).  My parents are in WI!  So at least I have a chance to try it this summer when we (hopefully) visit.  I wonder why those 2 states?  I mean NY is obvi but WI?  Doesn’t Carl have a connection tho?  I want to say that’s where his mom lives (the MKE area).  🤔

Also, not for nothing, but their website is pretty nice.  So good job there, Kyle!

Edited May 1, 2020 by geauxaway

[FozzyBear]

4 hours ago, geauxaway said:

I think it looks like a great pool drink (plus it’s in cans)!    That’s cool that you’ve seen it around for sale!

So, I just found their website and it looks like it is available in a bunch of locations in NY and also WI (?).  My parents are in WI!  So at least I have a chance to try it this summer when we (hopefully) visit.  I wonder why those 2 states?  I mean NY is obvi but WI?  Doesn’t Carl have a connection tho?  I want to say that’s where his mom lives (the MKE area).  🤔

Also, not for nothing, but their website is pretty nice.  So good job there, Kyle!

Is it supposed to be a similar concept to White Claw? I know that’s really popular where I live. I haven’t tried either since pre-made mix drink type things are usually too sweet for my tastes.  I will say I think the packaging and the name are cute for a endless summer party type of marketing campaign. Especially compared to the packaging of White Claw which I’ve never really liked. I can’t explain it well but somehow White Claw looks like something that would make me way too drunk in a not fun way and the packaging of Loverboy looks like having a fun pool party. It seems like Kyle does make some good calls sometimes.

[geauxaway]

10 minutes ago, FozzyBear said:

Is it supposed to be a similar concept to White Claw? I know that’s really popular where I live. I haven’t tried either since pre-made mix drink type things are usually too sweet for my tastes.  I will say I think the packaging and the name are cute for a endless summer party type of marketing campaign. Especially compared to the packaging of White Claw which I’ve never really liked. I can’t explain it well but somehow White Claw looks like something that would make me way too drunk in a not fun way and the packaging of Loverboy looks like having a fun pool party. It seems like Kyle does make some good calls sometimes.

It’s branded as a sparkling hard tea.  But the flavors really sound good!  Hibiscus Pom.  Blueberry Lemon.  YUMMMMM!!!!

[b2H]

I suspect what we're seeing here is a last ditch effort at relevance.

Let's face it - next week is the finale of the season.  I doubt it's the last episode ever, but Labor Day is usually it for these knuckleheads.

Hopefully, they'll be able to develop more of a story line next season - wedding seem to go very well with these shows and with a September date announced (Kyle said it), that might go somewhere - who's in; who's out.  Also, the Carl is an alcoholic story is nothing new - he's been pretty much since the start.

But the new folk (Jules and Luke) brought not nearly enough to the house to suggest that they might be back.  

[biakbiak]

3 hours ago, b2H said:

I doubt it's the last episode ever, but Labor Day is usually it for these knuckleheads.

 

Unless they change the entire concept of the show it’s a good chance they won’t film this summer so I imagine there is a good chance they are done.

[KittyKat133]

12 hours ago, biakbiak said:

Unless they change the entire concept of the show it’s a good chance they won’t film this summer so I imagine there is a good chance they are done.

Exactly. We are are still quarantined here on the island. Beaches are probably going to be closed this summer, all restaurants are closed and even if they open they are at limited capacity. We are in a basic shelter in place. Only thing open is grocery stores gas stations and pharmacies. Real estate is pretty much considered “non essential” I’m an agent and we can’t do anything. There is no way they would allow all those different people in one house if they are going back to the city. I know the venue they chose. I’ve been to weddings there. My family member  has their wedding there. There is no way their wedding is happening in September. It’s a very strange venue. There is literally no food at the venue. They walk around with trays of appetizers.... THATS it. No dinner. Tons of drinking. It’s like a club. I actually hated it. I couldn’t believe out of all the fantastic venues in all of NYC that’s the one they chose. 

[RedDelicious]

On 5/3/2020 at 6:46 AM, KittyKat133 said:

Exactly. We are are still quarantined here on the island. Beaches are probably going to be closed this summer, all restaurants are closed and even if they open they are at limited capacity. We are in a basic shelter in place. Only thing open is grocery stores gas stations and pharmacies. Real estate is pretty much considered “non essential” I’m an agent and we can’t do anything. There is no way they would allow all those different people in one house if they are going back to the city. I know the venue they chose. I’ve been to weddings there. My family member  has their wedding there. There is no way their wedding is happening in September. It’s a very strange venue. There is literally no food at the venue. They walk around with trays of appetizers.... THATS it. No dinner. Tons of drinking. It’s like a club. I actually hated it. I couldn’t believe out of all the fantastic venues in all of NYC that’s the one they chose. 

That sounds terrible 😳 People spend all that money to attend your wedding in a high rent area not to mention purchase a gift and all you provide for their consumption is...passed appetizers and your own canned alcohol? Is this the venue in Brooklyn? I am so not impressed. I can understand budgeting and trying to save money but they are quasi-Bravolebrities. You would think they could afford and would want to do better. I’m hedging my bets now. The wedding is not going to happen if they don’t film this summer. No way their relationship can make it to filming in summer 2021 as a run up to a fall ‘21 wedding. They both love the attention and the spotlight and if they don’t film people are going to be like Kyle and Amanda who? even more than they already are. Corona might be a blessing in disguise in that regard.

Side note, if any of you know what a Long Island wedding is and you’ve been to one, then you know. They are amazing.

 

[KittyKat133]

On 5/5/2020 at 11:37 PM, RedDelicious said:

That sounds terrible 😳 People spend all that money to attend your wedding in a high rent area not to mention purchase a gift and all you provide for their consumption is...passed appetizers and your own canned alcohol? Is this the venue in Brooklyn? I am so not impressed. I can understand budgeting and trying to save money but they are quasi-Bravolebrities. You would think they could afford and would want to do better. I’m hedging my bets now. The wedding is not going to happen if they don’t film this summer. No way their relationship can make it to filming in summer 2021 as a run up to a fall ‘21 wedding. They both love the attention and the spotlight and if they don’t film people are going to be like Kyle and Amanda who? even more than they already are. Corona might be a blessing in disguise in that regard.

Side note, if any of you know what a Long Island wedding is and you’ve been to one, then you know. They are amazing.

 

Long Island weddings are ridiculous. They are awesome. I’ve always lived here. I couldn’t understand why they didn’t get married in the Hampton’s or the city. There are A TON of beautiful full sit down, fabulous food and drink venues. 
yes it is in Brooklyn, it was hands down worst wedding I was ever at. No food, rude staff, no direction of what to do. It was just like six hours of the same shit. It was like a 6 hour cocktail party only they had very very limited food and then you literally had to chase a waitress down for a piece of cake. OH and I forgot to mention you don’t even get a TABLE to sit at!! There is like 12 first come first serve tiny cocktail tables you can sit at. So bad. We all talk about it and call it worst wedding ever.

[RedDelicious]

7 minutes ago, KittyKat133 said:

Long Island weddings are ridiculous. They are awesome. I’ve always lived here. I couldn’t understand why they didn’t get married in the Hampton’s or the city. There are A TON of beautiful full sit down, fabulous food and drink venues. 
yes it is in Brooklyn, it was hands down worst wedding I was ever at. No food, rude staff, no direction of what to do. It was just like six hours of the same shit. It was like a 6 hour cocktail party only they had very very limited food and then you literally had to chase a waitress down for a piece of cake. OH and I forgot to mention you don’t even get a TABLE to sit at!! There is like 12 first come first serve tiny cocktail tables you can sit at. So bad. We all talk about it and call it worst wedding ever.

I am so, so sorry you had to go through that 😖 I hope you GTFO'd and got a real dinner!