S04.E05: Melissa

[ramble]

In the "Extreme Weight Loss" episode, "Melissa," a widowed military wife, seeks help from Heidi Powell after her husband's suicide made her turn to food.

Edited July 2, 2014 by ramble

[CaughtOnTape]

This episode was heartbreaking to watch.  What that poor family must have been through.  I can't even imagine.

 

I found Melissa to be the most inspirational episode of the franchise.  She wanted to quit but she didn't and in the end she got through it and she made it.  

 

She's got hope now when there was none.

[Ketzel]

I think there is just something wrong with the producers of this show. In the face of a great, genuine tragedy, they still keep amping up their silly fake drama and the whole thing was in such overwhelmingly bad taste that it made me nauseous by the end.  My god, a military man suffering from PTSD commits suicide by throwing himself off a building into a trash compactor, leaving behind a widow who blames herself for his death, and a young child diagnosed with PTSD as a result of experiencing the trauma. And those two lamebrain trainers think the right "challenge" for the widow is to JUMP OFF A BUILDING IN FRONT OF HER CHILDREN?

 

By the way, lamebrain trainers - if you had supposedly trained the woman to be able to run ten miles in honor of her dead husband, how is it she was in such bad condition that "her body started breaking down" less than halfway into the run? You think someone whose back is freezing up, and whose hips, knees and ankles were causing terrific pain at that point was maybe not physically ready, which I think was your failure, not hers?. In fact, it was totally obvious to me that she wasn't physically ready to run that distance when she effectively dropped into a fast walk less than a mile into the race. And I couldn't help but notice no mention was made at all of her ever coming close to that distance even once during her "training."  But didn't it make good TV to watch her emotionally manipulated into finishing the whole ten miles? No mention was made of the shape she was in the next day, either.

 

Well, at least she lost weight, got a makeover, found a new beau and had skin removal surgery. Whoo hoo! (BTW, did I get it wrong, or did the opening sequence say she had three children? If so, what happened to the third one? I kind of hope she (?) refused to be part of this bizarre tribute/exploitation of her father's death.)

Ugh, just ugh.

Edited July 2, 2014 by Ketzel

[CaughtOnTape]

I think there is just something wrong with the producers of this show. In the face of a great, genuine tragedy, they still keep amping up their silly fake drama and the whole thing was in such overwhelmingly bad taste that it made me nauseous by the end.  My god, a military man suffering from PTSD commits suicide by throwing himself off a building into a trash compactor, leaving behind a widow who blames herself for his death, and a young child diagnosed with PTSD as a result of experiencing the trauma. And those two lamebrain trainers think the right "challenge" for the widow is to JUMP OFF A BUILDING IN FRONT OF HER CHILDREN?

 

By the way, lamebrain trainers - if you had supposedly trained the woman to be able to run ten miles in honor of her dead husband, how is it she was in such bad condition that "her body started breaking down" less than halfway into the run? You think someone whose back is freezing up, and whose hips, knees and ankles were causing terrific pain at that point was maybe not physically ready, which I think was your failure, not hers?. In fact, it was totally obvious to me that she wasn't physically ready to run that distance when she effectively dropped into a fast walk less than a mile into the race. And I couldn't help but notice no mention was made at all of her ever coming close to that distance even once during her "training."  But didn't it make good TV to watch her emotionally manipulated into finishing the whole ten miles? No mention was made of the shape she was in the next day, either.

 

Well, at least she lost weight, got a makeover, found a new beau and had skin removal surgery. Whoo hoo! (BTW, did I get it wrong, or did the opening sequence say she had three children? If so, what happened to the third one? I kind of hope she (?) refused to be part of this bizarre tribute/exploitation of her father's death.)

Ugh, just ugh.

 

This is all very dramatic.

 

I didn't find it to be an exploitation of anyone's death.  I didn't see her emotionally manipulated, she wanted to finish the race so she did.  I suppose it would have been better if she'd have stopped at the beginning when she wanted to?  She's an adult and is very capable of saying no.  Her husband didn't jump off a building, he jumped into a trash compactor and as far as I saw, there was no trash compactor at the bottom of the jump.  The girl looked to be of college age as the picture they showed looked like a senior picture to me.  So she was probably off at school for a good part of the show.  Maybe she's at school.  Maybe she's studying abroad.  Maybe she just didn't want to be on TV.  I see no point in grasping at the most sinister explanation for why someone doesn't want to participate in the show.

 

From where I sat these "lamebrain trainers" helped a woman who was effectively broken fix herself.  There may be some things I don't agree with on the show, but in the end the people look happy so who am I to judge?  She lost weight, found love again and is an inspiration to her children.  What else would you have these "lamebrain trainers" do?

 

I consider this episode to be very helpful to people who don't understand what PTSD is and how it effects not only the person who has it but those they leave behind if they do end up killing themselves.  

 

Wow....just wow.

Edited July 2, 2014 by CaughtOnTape

[Mrsjumbo]

The DD was at the 10 mile race. Didn't see her at the hospital for the skin removal surgery. She was at the finale, I think, but Heidi only referred to the boys (?).

She says she gained 100 lbs after his death, but she was really heavy in their wedding photos- looked like the same weight as at the start of the show.

Sorry to be so shallow, but the 90 day makeover was horrible! Hated the sweater with the cutout shoulders & her hair looked better before the makeover. I liked her hair at the 9 mo. WI & finale though.

Jumping off the building was insane, since that is how he died!

I did like that she hit setbacks & kept going. That to me is more inspirational than someone who is gung-ho the whole way.

Why is Chris wearing what looks like a hearing aid?

Heidi had to make her usual disparaging pg comments "I'd get up, but this belly's in the way". "She's shrinking, & I 'm pg with this baby, so I keep getting bigger!" Accept that you will have a belly during pregnancy!

[ramble]

I can't decide if I found this incredibly inspirational or just standard fare. Melissa was pleasant enough & I cried right along with her, but then again I'm a social crier. I think I felt more for her kids, especially her little one who was suffering so. I was glad they found the compromise weeks on campus & a week off during the first phase. I can't imagine how she handled leaving him.

I wish just once on a reality show that when someone was going to jump off a building, rappel, bungee, parasail or skydive they would be excited. I'd like to see someone scream yes & talk about how they couldn't wait & weren't scared at all. I know fear of heights is a real phobia it's just a pet peeve of mine that every reality show contestant has to be scared & say no way I can't every time.

I got tired of Heidi constantly asking what Melissa'a husband would think or say or if he'd be proud or happy. I get that they are amping up the drama & playing to the designated theme but c'mon!

[AV8n]

I'm glad I wasn't the only one to notice the hearing aid or whatever in Chris's ear.  Maybe he has gotten hard of hearing from Heidi yelling at him all the time.  More likely I guess it was so he could receive instructions from the producers.

The whole thing with Melissa wanting to leave on Day 1 seemed contrived.  I think she truly wanted to leave, but the drama between Chris and Heidi is what seemed made up.  Way to emasculate your man, Heidi!  It's not like he has ever had any success doing things his way.  I guess the Fight or Flight workout will now be called Fight or Flight or Consult with Heidi.  If she was going to take the lead with this client, why was it Chris's call anyway?

[Shibori]

I found Melissa's idol worship of Heidi and her playing a bigger role to be kind of depressing. I get the idea that she's a mom and that she may see that as something they have in common, but I think idolizing someone like Heidi, with a carefully crafted public persona, and near-unlimited resources would be unhealthy for the typical woman on this show. I consider Melissa much more admirable than Heidi. Raising a family as a single mom after a husband's PTSD induced suicide compared to someone with a great deal of wealth, a TV contract, and a live-in nanny to raise the kids? It just hurts my heart to see women who are beautiful in their own right to hold up fakey-fake Heidi as an ideal. The bleach blond hair, over-tanned skin, makeup applied with a trowel, all stuffed into the tightest minidress money can buy? There are far healthier images of women out there.

[oceanchild3]

This will probably sound mean because I do feel for Melissa in her situation. That would be awful to go through the husband suicide and then working with her kids to try to understand it all. But i just could NOT connect with her at all. It was hard for me to cheer for her even. I mean, I'm happy she lost the weight and is able to enjoy her life; I'm not trying to take that away from her. I just connected less with her than I have with other contestants. And it could have a lot to do with that first little bit where she wanted to leave Day 1 and everything seemed to be for attention (not just with her, but Chris and Heidi too). I couldn't get back into after that. 

Edited July 6, 2014 by oceanchild3

[Canada]

You're not the only one, oceanchild3.  I found her incredibly irritating.  All that whining and crying.  I couldn't deal with it.

 

And how sad that one of the things that her child with PTSD said was that he thought daddy would come back because the Bible said he would.  Add that to the list of reasons why I hate religion and the bullshit that it teaches.  The Bible: Traumatising Young Minds for 2000 Years!!

[k2p2]

I missed the first part of the show, so perhaps this was explained, but... Didn't she say during the run segment that her Ohio town was the best darned town in the world? Then why was the reveal in LA?

 

Heidi was slightly less annoying when she had a role to play other than the buttinsky into Chris's business.

[auntie thesis]

I've missed the past two episodes and just happened to catch this one. Apparently my DVR has been flaking this season, unbeknownst to me. Anyway, here are my thoughts on Melissa's episode.

 

• DD was a foster child. I assume that she was either at school, on her own or perhaps wanted to keep a distance from the show-nanigans for personal or professional reasons. I didn't read too much into it.
• So much talk of PTSD. Gah. I get that it is a legit problem but I felt that the show handled it very poorly. I am sure that there are existing organizations who deal with PTSD and the military community. Why not give them some air time instead of Heidi's cry-along sessions with Melissa?

 

In fact, it was totally obvious to me that she wasn't physically ready to run that distance when she effectively dropped into a fast walk less than a mile into the race. And I couldn't help but notice no mention was made at all of her ever coming close to that distance even once during her "training."  But didn't it make good TV to watch her emotionally manipulated into finishing the whole ten miles? No mention was made of the shape she was in the next day, either.

 

 

 

I didn't get much out of the 10k or whatever it was. It was not good tv and I didn't think that Melissa was in shape to be running it in the first place. Hell, Heidi was outpacing her and she was 8 months pregnant. CTFO, show.

 

It just hurts my heart to see women who are beautiful in their own right to hold up fakey-fake Heidi as an ideal. The bleach blond hair, over-tanned skin, makeup applied with a trowel, all stuffed into the tightest minidress money can buy? There are far healthier images of women out there.

 

 

ITA. On a shallow note, I think that Heidi would look better with her natural dark hair color. Heidi should get a makeover....
 

 

And how sad that one of the things that her child with PTSD said was that he thought daddy would come back because the Bible said he would.  Add that to the list of reasons why I hate religion and the bullshit that it teaches.  The Bible: Traumatising Young Minds for 2000 Years!!

 

 

Pretty much. Business as usual in my part of the country. I used to be one of those Jesus-freakish types, but I had to leave it for personal reasons. 

 

Anyway, yeah, I didn't like Melissa talking about her son's PTSD non-stop. It is sad that he has it, but maybe he needs to understand some really hard things about life. Such as: dead people don't come back to life. Ever. Stop filling his head with nonsense and maybe he'll start to work some things out.

 

--------

 

My final thought is that Melissa had gastric bypass surgery prior to the start of the show. She had some suspicious looking marks on her bare stomach in the front porch weigh in scene. Could have been gall bladder removal surgery marks though. Still, I don't buy that she lost 70+lbs in the first 3 months or whatever. Especially not after her hissyfit and the rather half-hearted looking workout segments they showed. Plus she was going home every 1-2 weeks.

 

Then they act all surprised when she got the 9 month weigh in and she only lost 5 lbs. That happens every time, it seems. Chunky girl loses weight, finds guy who looks remarkably similar to ex/dead hubby, starts getting some, and loses track of her weight loss goals. Yawn. Then Heidi bugs out (ZOMG! WHAT HAPPENED!?!?!?!)

 

I'm over it. But I still like this show. What the hell is wrong with me?

Edited July 4, 2014 by Chip
content

[backformore]

Sorry to be so shallow, but the 90 day makeover was horrible! Hated the sweater with the cutout shoulders & her hair looked better before the makeover. I liked her hair at the 9 mo. WI & finale though.

NO KIDDING!   very bad hairstyle, especially for someone that age -  by that I mean that the cut/color might look hip  and cool on a 20 year old going to clubs.  It just didn't fit Melissa at all, blond bangs sticking straight up, with dark hair in the back.    And the sweater with shoulder cut-outs is one of my pet peeves.   I had a co-worker who had a whole collection of these, and it's just a bad style. WHITE pants?  when you're still over 200 pounds?   Just no.   Her "make-over"  made her look cheap.   She looked so much better at the 9-month and the finale when she got rid of that bright yellow tuft.  

 

Not crazy about the tie-in to heidi's dad's death.   Not the same, not even close.    

 

The third child, a girl - her photos was shown, and melissa siad she was a foster child.   That would mean she lived with the family temporarily, and they included her photo because they consider her to be family.    Foster parenting is supposed to be a temporary placement until parents either re-gain custody or a permanent placement is decided on.  I would assume Cody was a foster child who was adopted, and the girl was a foster child who left that family for another.   It happens in the vast majority of foster placements.

 

Jumping off a building?  Why?   Fear of heights is kind of hard-wired into human beings and other animals who don't have wings.  It's necessary for our survival to be afraid of heights.   And when you're a single parent, there are certain risks that most people just don't want to take.   Like jumping off buildings.  Oh yeah, they needed to use the "Leap of Faith" metaphor that's been a staple of the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise. 

 

The 9 month "disappointment"  pissed me off.   the more weight you lose, the more you "plateau", and stop losing at the same rate.  Losing 5 pounds in 3 months is OK, after losing more then 100.  There's more to getting in shape than numbers on a scale.   

Edited July 3, 2014 by radishcake

[DangerousMinds]

I missed the first part of the show, so perhaps this was explained, but... Didn't she say during the run segment that her Ohio town was the best darned town in the world? Then why was the reveal in LA?

 

Heidi was slightly less annoying when she had a role to play other than the buttinsky into Chris's business.

I have to wonder how many other towns in this country she's visited.

[Chip]

hey everyone,

 

On a show such as this that delves into personal lives and personal beliefs, please be respectful when your beliefs may differ from those of the contestants or other PTV posters. We don't all have to get along or believe the same things, but we want everyone to feel welcome on these boards. 

[ChicagoCita]

I thought the blonder hair looked better.  Didn't like Melissa with darker hair at all; I thought it aged her.

 

But yay for her.  She looked amazing, particularly at the end when they had her sitting next to the pre-makeover version of herself.

 

I like how the show is tying in problems that cause weight gain this season:  depression, PTSD, sexual abuse.  I like the PSAs at the end.  I hope this isn't too off-topic:  I was on jury duty for a trial involving a preteen girl who had been sexually abused by her mother's drug dealer.  There was an assembly at school that told the kids to talk to a teacher if they saw anyone selling drugs.  This girl had no idea who to tell about the sexual abuse, but this assembly gave her a road map of who to tell.  She told her teacher, the teacher reported it, and the guy went to prison.  So what I learned from that is that some people need permission and some people need to be given a road map to report things.  I like the PSAs -- while they may sound simplistic to many/most of the audience, I keep thinking, maybe they just provided someone with a road map, someone who's gained weight because they're suffering and is watching the show.  We may not all have Chris and Heidi come into our homes, but giving people information about who to call about problems may be the bigger favor.

 

I nearly fell off the couch laughing when the younger son said seeing the dead penguin on the beach wasn't a lot of fun.  Mom tried to make it a bucket list item, and he kept saying, well, it was dead.  Great moments of television.

Edited July 4, 2014 by ChicagoCita

[backformore]

I thought the blonder hair looked better.  Didn't like Melissa with darker hair at all; I thought it aged her.

 

The blond highlights at the end were fine.   What looked ridiculous was the "makeover" hair at the three month mark-  dark except for a tuft of blond in the front, sticking straight up.  I'm thinking she hated it, because she changed it pretty quickly. 

Edited July 4, 2014 by backformore

[QueBueno]

I'm watching the show now and I agree with most of your astute observations. The makeover was fugly. Hated the sweater, hated the hair. The necklace bounced distractingly with every step. I guess "makeovers" are supposed to be dramatic changes, but too often they involve drastic changes like super short cuts and color changes and form fitting clothes that aren't flattering (looking at you, TBL).

More shallow observations: even pg, and knowing that we've been told Heidi has overcome anorexia, she's always looked to me like she's still a bit anorexic. Her face has that look, like skin stretched over a skull, with the huge eyes and prominent cheekbones. Melissa's new boyfriend looked a lot younger than her.

How weird was it that the youngest kid misconstrued being told he would see his father again in the afterlife to mean he might reappear any old time? The kid looked a little old for that level of simple thinking. He never had anyone else in his life die? A grandparent, a goldfish?

If I was on a reality show and I got the chance to bungee jump, skydive, etc. I would be super excited! Which means they'd probably give that to the person with a huge phobia. I think on my application form and interview I'd pretend that it was my lifelong fear.

Lastly, I hope this the only Heidi show we get. Someone on another thread hit it on the head. Heidi is Robin to Dr. Phil, Gayle King to Oprah - we signed up for one, we get the other one pushed to us but they're not as interesting. We watch the show for Chris (and highly scripted tales of inspiration), not Chris' SO.

[MrsClaus]

I just could not connect with Melissa no matter how hard I tried.

 

I think the biggest problem I had was with her son.  Here is a child who is seeing a therapist for PTSD due to his father's suicide and she's putting him out on tv and talking about his thinking his father was going to come back.  Then they ask him before Melissa goes into surgery what he's worried about and he says her not coming back.

 

Geez, you want to be on the show and get help to lose weight great, but please don't put your child out there who is in obvious pain in dealing with everything that is going on his life.  Your his mom....protect him.

 

In the end she did look good.  In the future, more Chris, less Heidi.

[DangerousMinds]

Think I'll skip this episode too! The direction the show seems to be going this year is really dull to me.

[Brooklynista]

For me this season has taken a downturn and I'm blaming it on the increased Heidi screen time. I just have no use for her. She in no way inspires me.

Actually she makes my teeth itch. Ugh. Make Heidi go away and I bet the spirit of the season would turn right around.

Edited July 6, 2014 by Brooklynista

[auntie thesis]

I'm not 100% on the Heidi hatetrain yet. Yet being the key word.

 

Awaiting tonight's episode since I'm off work for a few days. Whoo. It's another guy episode, so hopefully that means less Heidi and more Chris.

 

This season seems to have crashed and burned. It's like watching the charred remains of an accident, puffing faint whisps of smoke from the smoldering wreckage. 

 

Maybe it's not THAT bad, but I seriously sense a nosedive in quality. The 2nd and 3rd seasons were both pretty good. The 1st was shaky, but that was to be expected. This season seems to be way shakier than even the first one was. I blame Heidi for some of it, but it also seems like the caliber of the participants has gone down as well. We've only had one really inspirational go-getter, imho, and that was Charita in episode 1. So far, she's been the only one that I can even half-assedly say that I liked.

 

Kathie wasn't too terrible, but the weird Daddy storyline with Josh really screwed that episode up for me.

 

Jayce and Bruce were both bland. I didn't even make all the way through Jayce's episode. Bruce and Chris had an epic bromance. I haven't seen anything like it outside of Bob Harper's TBL cargo cults of years past. The whole episode was really odd for me.

 

It seems like TPTB cast solely for shock value and sob stories, aka low-hanging fruit. Sad. Maybe next season will be better but I doubt it. Last I read on the casting site, they were casting couples for next season. As in, "engaged and wanting to lose weight for TEH BIG DAY!" Gag. I have a bad feeling that means more Heidi and more whack makeovers...and more histronics ala "Say Yes to the Dress"...gah.

Edited July 8, 2014 by auntie thesis

[DangerousMinds]

The addition of the "big name" sports figure bores and irritates me. NO interest in seeing that!

[WhineandCheez]

For me this season has taken a downturn and I'm blaming it on the increased Heidi screen time. I just have no use for her. She in no way inspires me.

 

Chris just seems real and honest and every emotion is plainly written on his face.  Heidi just does not have any kind of caring vibe.  She has kids so she must---(a woman in the entertainment biz doesn't birth her own kids and risk ruining her figure w/o having a sincere desire to have kids I'd imagine) I also don't think its neccessary for her to wear those super short club kid dresses to the reveal,it's like she's trying to show off rather than the madeover person.