Lantern7

New episodes start tomorrow. Tonight: "highlights" of the president, with Desi's slam piece on Fox News fawning thrown in. Nice bumper stuff of more beloved presidents doing stuff followed by the current one not doing a good job.

It's the Groundhog Day episode. Except it's basically Gideon screwing with Zari for most of the episode. Since this is Legends of Tomorrow (not including the "DC's" part), it's funny, it's awesome, and we get to look inside the minds of our beloved group of dysfunctional heroes. Oh, and Rip recruits Wally for . . . reasons. How funny would it be if he's meditating in the same place as Goldbe Big Sir? And, of course, the bulk of the team is coming off an unseen mission that is stupid and/or awesome. I'm thinking the writers were working out the background, and Caity Lotz asked them for the disco theme, because she figures that if things go south, she could star in a Dazzler movie. If you're not up on mutants of the Seventies, read this. Look at the covers. Look at Sara. Shit, she's wearing blue eyeshadow. I'm probably wrong, but there's a lot of overlap. Amaya summons animals while doing naughty stuff with Nate. And she's supposed to be one of the more "put-together" Legends. Can't believe Mick is trying to write sci-fi. I can believe that he's do in slowly on a typewriter. Ditto that he'd leave traps to protect his secret. A bear trap? Of course. It's Mick. Liked the scene where Zari and Ray spy on Sara. Didn't think Zari could fly with her totem. Of course, Sara is sweet on Ava. That's her power. She has chemistry with everybody, and she can make many, many hearts flutter. Also, she's probably broken hearts throughout time. Oh, and she had a one-night stand with a lady from another universe.

Hey, it could be worse. Mets Fan: Spring Training! Time to turn the page and get beyond the bullshit of the last few years! News: The Mets' GM thinks Tim Tebow can make it to the majors. Mets Fan: Fuuuuuuuuuccccck. Even with the level of bad luck and injuries for this team, that's not going to happen. That's a non-story. He'll give up the dream, and the media will actually focus on the team itself. News: Okay. The manager and about a dozen players went fishing for sharks . . . strictly catch-and-release . . . Mets Fan: Cool. Team bonding. As opposed to the new Yankees, who compared bank accounts and jockstraps. News: . . . and looked who joined them! Mets Fan: (slowly walking to wall, taking pictures off the hook, repeatedly bangs head against it)

Please let me know if I suck. In my head, here's the headline: "BLACK PANTHER TRIUMPHS AT BOX OFFICE." Underneath: "We're In No Hurry To Mention Guy With Plate In Lip."

In regard to Iggy, the latest edition to Team Jojo: I typed his name in the URL box, and I got taken to a site, back when I was looking to see what kind of toy I got at an anime con. I think I saw this as well: blind item keychains with Iggy on the tarot cards from the show. So cute, right?

Great start. I'm just hoping John doesn't burn out too soon, because this looks to be a long year. Plus side: new stuff in the credits . . . including Catheter Cowboy! And I liked John's "And now, this" fakeout. ETA: Kinda awesome that people around the world can make money by dressing as the American president and lampoon him. And I like the idea that Germany is still in the "timeout corner."

Funny115: Brad Culpepper tries math. Poorly. Favorite line: "He blows the confessional two different times, and then he gives this douchy little David Pumpkins grin at the end like a two year old who just pooped in the potty. And it's all just derpy as hell."

Heads up: the Jena Friedman special ran long, and everything got bumped back 4-5 minutes. Also, I think I recognized my alma mater's campus. I'll have to check. As far as Adult Swim stuff goes, it could be worse. They could've had Eric Andre running out the "quad" dressed in nothing but ranch dressing, chased by the character known as "Kraft Punk." That would be a step up from anything involving Tim and/or Eric. The other Eric, I mean. ETA: "Quad" in quotation marks because I'm not 100 percent certain to what that pertains.

Once again, checking to see who watched last week. They ended with "James Bond doing The Bachelor," which was okay. Cheerios honeybee accidentally stinging and kid and losing its life? That's nightmare fuel right there. For anybody catching Last Week Tonight this evening . . . it goes from 11:02-11:32, so there will be a tiny bit of overlap. ETA: The Sword in the Stone . . . nice deep dive for material. And we end with how Rose and Jack really left things in Titanic. Nicely done. ETA2: Here's a Joker makeup tutorial. Bad news: it's the Jared Leto version. Sorry.

Here's something that makes a little more sense: a One Piece open world video game. You might need to hit "CC" to get English captions.

This week: Future Trunks tells Present Mai about her future life, and she is smitten as fuck. Well, at least until he reveals that Goku Black killed her. Just to check: Team Pilaf are the same idiots that bugged Goku in the original Dragon Ball, right? And they were adult, right? So is it implied that they got Shenron'd into kids? And if so, wouldn't Mai not react like a kid to Trunks' story? Also, Goku wants training. Whis passes because temporal tampering and all that. Then he goes to King Kai, and our favorite deceased bug/catfish deity puts his foot down because his planet is still fucked up from Goku's latest "workouts." ETA: They're still focusing on GB's ring. Given the credits feature a Supreme Kai, I'd have to side with those saying that the earring is key. Also, notice that HB kindasorta channels Goku's orange look when he's powering up.

New credits, new ally, same story. An enemy Stand user bedevils the crew, and every other "friendly" they meet might as well be wearing a red shirt. Actually, that's not really accurate . . . the extras in Star Trek probably never died in excruciating ways. One poor bastard gets drowned (in the middle of the friggin' desert), and another gets beheaded just for (barely) living. As for the ally? His name is Iggy. Iggy is a Boston Terrier. A Boston Terrier that has a sand-shooting Stand known as The Fool. He is tempermental, and he loves to fuck people up. If you ever read the comic Chew, the first parallel you'd draw with Iggy is Poyo. Oh, and he seems to love abusing Polnareff, so I think we're going to adore the little guy. I mean, Polnareff would up letting the enemy's Stand claw Kakoyin's eyes, blinding him. The Stand doesn't have a name, but the user is named N'Doul (as per the episode title). It kinda sounded like "O'Doul," which would suggest an alcohol-based Stand. ETA: If you haven't seen the episode yet, here are two bits from the Toonami Tumblr of Iggy in action. ETA2: Here is "End of the World." I think I like "Stand Proud" better, but the guys singing it repeat Star Platinum's cry a lot at the end. An "Ora"-gasm, if you will.

Here are leg averages going into the final legs. Then I adjusted them, meaning that I took away a team's best and worst finishes and recalculated. In both cases, I did not count the partner swap; not out of outrage or protest, but because I didn't feel it fit into the overall results. 2.22 (2.29) Kristi & Jen 3.00 (3.00) Alex & Conor 3.67 (3.71) Cody & Jessica 4.00 (3.86) Henry & Evan The funny thing: if you do leg averages for all eleven teams, the order almost matches that for eliminations (Trevor & Chris did better than Eric & Daniel). Also, going into last week's episode, all of the team that had finished first were still in the race. I think TAR3 may have been the only time that happened. Also, there were only three occasions where teams 6-11 made the top three in the leg (Cedric & Shawn finished second in the second leg; Eric & Daniel got third and second in legs 6-7). Now, I know that the head-to-head matches may have thrown things off, but I think we have the "right" final four. In the last two seasons, I felt that the best teams crashed and burned before the finale, and the fourth-best team (Dana & Matt, Brooke & Scott) wound up winning. As for the finale? I don't know who would win. Extreme going out first would be "funny" because that would be the only time they didn't "podium." I don't think any other team in TAR history has pulled that off; without a comprehensive deep dive, I currently think the closest teams have been Eric & Jeremy and Justin & Justin's Fiance Diana. I'm good with any team winning except Big Brother. There's a small part of my brain that's scared that CBS would see a BB team winning TAR as the "perfect" ending and pull the plug on TAR. Paranoid, I know.

@aradia22 . . . damn. I'd never lead with that. That's tacky, and I'm wuss enough to bail halfway through dinner even if "breakfast" was guaranteed. I'm just saying that I write better than that. I just don't get much feedback.

Looking forward to this, though I'm not really into most of Rob Liefeld's creations. I know that Cable is worth the hype,even if you burden him with the mother of all complicated origin stories (well, for Marvel; ask a DC fan about Hawkman sometime). But Domino? White pip or black, I reckon she's usually good in a supporting role. I've only really read one story with her (a teamup with Scarlet Witch in A+X), and was because Adam Warren did the story and art. Gail Simone is coming back to Marvel to write a Domino series, so I'll be on board for that. Also: with Deadpool and Domino coming, any chance we'd see Gideon, the third mutant introduced in New Mutants #98? Probably not. Zazie Beatz. I don't know if that sounds more like the name of a stripper or a DJ. A DJ that strips on the side? ETA: I take it Deadpool #2 or Deadpool No. 2 wouldn't fly, even with all the shit the original got away with.

And the news keeps on coming . . . Titan Comics to roll a Seven in June, with Andrew Cartmel and Ben Aaronovitch writing. ETA: Rachael Stott does sketches of Thirteen.

Saw it today. Loved it. Okay, I tend to go towards the Christopher Priest run, so the different directions for Zuri, Nakia and Okoye were a tiny bit jarring, but who cares? Another MCU masterpiece going into Infinity War, starring a character that has always been cool. And now the rest of the world can know about King T'Challa, King of Wakanda. Speaking of MCU streaks, I think they're on a roll in terms of story villains. Ego, Vulture (who would thunk that?!?), Hela, and now Erik Killmonger. Okay, we had Ulyseuss Klaw Klaue, who was the first bad guy readers saw Panther face back in the day, but Erik was more compelling, even without a nifty sonic cannon disguised as an arm. Shit, Bucky didn't have that! Seriously, though, I liked the drive. What else . . . still lamenting Ross not being King of the Useless White Boys like in Priest's run. I kinda think he's being set up to be the new Coulson. I like M'Baku appearing, stripped of an outfit that might cause viewers to cringe. I think Shuri was a creation of Reginald Hudlin. So nice that the Panther has a happy tech geek as his sister. I probably have more to say, but I'll stop now. I did like a joke I read . . . Anthony Serkis and Martin Freeman are the only major white actors in the film. They play Tolkien characters. Shut up, that's funny. @doram . . . dunno if the floodgates are officially over, so I'll hide the spoilers. ETA: BUCKY! Forgot about him! Awesome that he's actually living his life, as opposed to being on ice. Also,it's funny that T'Challa was preserved in ice after repeatedly telling people that he never freezes.

Screencaps of Johnny pitching, followed by Cara Maria's responses. For the second one . . . I'd like to see that. I'd even pay to see that happen.

@Jaded . . . if records are kept, I would surmise this "Mystery" guy's winning percantage is way higher than Don Diebel. The asshole wrote a book where he swapped the pronouns from his older book. That's a level of lazy to inspire everybody.

Aren't all border collies that intense? If they don't have something to herd, they go nuts. I like Flynn. He's cute, and not in a gross way like with some breed standards. That said, I bet Bichons mating looks like two cotton swabs writing on each other.

I don't think it was a bad idea. I am hoping this the final two weeks don't doom the series because of the counterprograming move from CBS. The judge was enthusiastic about his role. You gotta give him that.

To review: Johnny planned "NoteGate" at home. With Mark Long, which is also sad. Johnny got his sister to write random, nasty notes. And then he just started placing them around the house, and everybody goes apeshit about it. Oh, and he's looking to make money for of his "idea." Question: Was there any advantage to be gained, aside from getting camera time and looking so clever? I think this parallels Survivor: Pearl Islands, when Jon Dalton got his buddy to like about his grandmother's death in the "loved ones" challenge. There wasn't a point to the notes beyond Johnny being a dick. Basically, this is him throwing pillows at everyone's heads, and it's pathetic. Please tell me I'm not alone on this.

Didn't do anything out of the ordinary for Valentine's Day. I know that most of us probably don't need a significant other to exist. But if you're feeling crappy and need a good laugh, I give unto you the very last person you should get dating advice from. NSFW . . . no naughty pictures, but the author is merciless in his criticism. Also, you might laugh really hard. Just a warning. Oh, and I'm just swapping notes with the one woman, but it feels good so far. Fingers crossed.

Well, we're out one headache-inducing team. Just one more to go. If Big Brother is the last to be eliminated, would that be a bad thing? I mean, if a Big Brother team wins, it's not as if CBS would stop sending those to TAR. Shit, they'd probably cancel TAR because of the "perfect" ending. Bad news is that if/when TAR does an all-star or "redemption" season, Lucas & Brittany would be at the top of the list. Seriously, thanks to Ocean Rescue's mistake, the first leg was an anticlimax. It was also weird because there were no Detours or Roadblocks. Don't we need those for a season of TAR? Things picked up in the second hour . . . slippery frogs and uncooperative elephants. Let's see . . . stomp around in the mud trying to hold onto slippery amphibians, or being surrounded by elephants and their kids? Yeah, tough choice. Only way that could have been better is if we had younger calves. Even see a new little guy? So much hair and so little coordination. On the bright side, there's math. I like math. I don't even have to need a calculator. Elephants and math . . . the peanut butter & chocolate combo of reality television. Aside for rooting against Big Brother, I'm good with the final legs. Not hating Yale like the other teams, and I like how Indy is stepping up in the Firefighters' place as the quippy guys. And has a team ever not finished out of the top three like Kristi & Jen. The one win I want is for TAR to get at least one season in 2018-19. ETA: Nice twist in the scorpion task, with the one not eating getting them on their bodies. Gotta love Jen(?) screeching, Kristi telling her to can it, getting only two words out before she realizes what just happened. And I know Joey & Tim can swallow a lot, but I don't think they would have left the Roadblock in record time.

Funny115: Mario recalls an invisible cast member (Benry) from an "odd" season (Nicaragua)