Lantern7

New Toonami lineup starting on May 25. Basically, the block starts at 10:30 p.m., with Attack on Titan airing at 11:30.

Apparently, this is the week networks announce their plans for the fall. I'm guessing TAR wouldn't be locked in, though I believe TAR32 has already been filmed. Once again: I get irked that TAR gets shuffled around by CBS, while the network's lesser reality series (IMO, YMMV) are always locked into place.

Now I'm imagining Liz Lemon and Tracy Jordan yelling at each other to the tune of "Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel.

All I could think about as I watched was George Carlin’s take on efforts to “save the Earth.” He pointed out that the planet has survived countless disasters in its existence. It basically peaked with this: “The planet is fine. THE PEOPLE ARE FUCKED!!” Maybe if AOC went with that angle, shitheads wouldn’t be shitting on her. Honestly, the only thing missing at that rally was a “FUCK THE EARTH!” chant. Bill Nye was after my time. I remember him from Almost Live! when it ran on Comedy Central. He doesn’t usually cuss since he’s been elevated in status, has he? Sadly, John was way too amused by him. Apparently, any store dealing with dressing people like John goes with the line, “Men’s Clothing For The Knackered.” The ironic part is that John might not actually be English, and no one questioned him about his accent. Bravo for that mini-monologue, by the way. 👍

I've been meaning to post this . . . when DayGlo Dave talked about how the shortest book in the world was "The German Joke Book," I immediately thought of this bit from Patton Oswalt. Enjoy!

One more episode to go. As heavy-handed as this series can be most of the time, at least the finale looks more promising than The Flash and Arrow. It's been a slog, but it didn't feel like an endless one. Alex remembers! Thank goodness that shit was not drawn out any further. And we didn't see a torrent of blood gush from her nose, so it looks like remembering won't be that traumatic. Now . . . the bit where Alex tries to "feed" grass to Kara? That was stupid. Yes, I've read The Dark Knight Returns. That happened after Superman had a massive trauma inflicted on him (long story), but seeing Kara absorb stored solar energy was a little weird. Hi, Otis! Bye, Otis! He's basically the Kenny McCormick of Supergirl. Lockwood has at least gotten a clue as to what a humongous stooge he's been mad out to be. I'm thinking the only redemption he gets is death. Preferably by throwing himself at certain death to save an alien. Hey, maybe it'll be that little alien girl! Brainiac Rebooted! Since the original Brainiac never got pushed in the movies (I'm thinking maybe he was in Superman III but then the writers went, "Nah, how about a complete putz who turns out to be a computer whiz? Hey, is that Richard Pryor's number?"), most people don't know what he was about, let alone his descendant from a thousand years in the future. Sadly, this Brainy is a lot more cold-hearted, so there goes any shot he wanted to have with Nia. Chucking J'onn into the trap was the icing on the asshole cake. I've actually grown to like the kooky Coluan this season. I think having the image inducer on most of the time probably helped. I thought that to be funny and in character. We've seen Kara have to do Supergirl stuff as Kara. Beating up two guards while seemingly helplessly tied to a chair fit in quite nicely. ETA to fix the Brainiac paragraph. And I know the original Braniac been on lots of TV shows (from Challenge of the Superfriends all the way to Krypton). I'm just saying that when it came to the big-budget movies, it was usually Lex as Superman's nemesis.

Thanks to Game of Thrones and the Veep finale, tonight’s episode runs from 11:40-12:11.

Anybody keeping up with the Universal Survival arc? Goku finally has his battle with Jiren, gets seemingly vaporized, then returns with something called "Ultra Instinct" that basically makes Whis cream his pants. Robe? Point is, he's been trying to steer Goku towards that for so long, and he's so happy. Meanwhile, the other gods and angels are SHOOK. Frost and Freiza seemed to team up, as Freiza looks to have double-crossed Gohan . . . but it was just to sucker Frost for the elimination. And when Frost tries to attack from the sideline, the Xenoes negate him entirely. So long, knockoff! At least we'll have the memory of Vegeta achieving catharsis by taking him out quickly in the first fight of universes.

"What would you say it he slapped you in the face?" "Harder, Daddy." I'm not sure what's funnier: Kate's delivery, or that you can see Lindsey Graham saying that without irony. As far as unveiling revolting concepts about BatB, may I offer this quick sketch from Robot Chicken. Word of warning . . . it's not for the faint at heart. Beast plowing the Teapot to produce a hairy tea cup might be preferable. Hey, maybe he's gonna take her off Pete's hands!! The rest of the segment could have just been audience members vigorously high-fiving Colin. Holy crap.

Just four episodes left, so you know what that means . . the current edition's Big Bad seems nigh unstoppable. Here, the Magic Arrow thrusts itself into Kira's arm, giving our hand-loving sociopath's Stand a new ability: Bites the Dust. Basically, it's a tiny Killer Queen (suck it, lawyers) that lies in Hayato, blows anyone up who does any inquiring about Kira, and then hits rewind. I'm not sure how "Bites the Dust" made the transition to English. Was "Groundhog Day" too on the nose? How about "Prince of the Universe"? I mean, Kira did monotone about how he had no rivals. "No man can be my equal" would be the logical next line. Rohan was doomed from the start. As much as one could give him shit about perusing Hayato's "pages" . . . how was he supposed to know a tiny explosive would basically blow him up as bad as poor dumb Shigechi? Oh, and I got a new Jojo sketch today . . . Okuyashu & The Hand. I printed out a bunch of references, and I'll be going to a three-day show next weekend.

@green and @North of Eden . . . the stuff about the making of TAR31 . . . is that online anywhere? Back then, I just cringed at the speculation. "Big Brother vs. Survivor" probably would have killed this series. I was thinking of writing about TAR on my blog during the "break," and I like being getting as much info as possible. When it comes to comparing the Colin & Christie from TAR5 to the current edition, is that really fair? Their season was aired back in 2004. That's almost prehistoric in terms of how the series basically mutated over the years. I'm wondering if they watch the show, and what they think of Colin being calm these days. Actually, anyone from TAR5 chiming it would be fun. It as a great season.

I'm thinking Zoolander and the revelation that male models made for perfect assassins.

Huh? Thats basically my entire hour . . . generally feeling befuddled. In my head, if you’re trying to somehow tie AoS into Infinity War/Endgame? Don’t. Just don’t. Okay . . . so there’s one team out searching for Fitz, right? He died last finale, but because the team traveled from the future, they can snag him while he’s still in his pod, and a catastrophic temporal paradox won’t happen. Meanwhile, the rest of the team are with . . . yeah, I got nothin’. Something about weird dudes teleporting in and out of places, and they’re led by Coulson. Well, someone or something that looks like Coulson. I think they got the idea from Tom Cavanaugh, and Clark Gregg decided to roll with it. Seriously, tonight was basically one long 🤷‍♂️. I mean, I’m here for it, but I legit didn’t know this was on tonight until I read the newspaper. And because it’s been a year, I’ve forgotten a lot, mostly thanks to the MCU movies I watched in the interim. What was last year about? Something about obnoxious blue asshole and Nathan Petrelli with really irritating facial hair??

. . . why?

As much as I want to jump back into “Hunter is an asshole, but compared to Smashley . . .” pool, I want to know what metric was used to eliminate Da’Vonne. Did Mattie climb farther up the net? Did she reach the net first? I’m not suggesting shenanigans, but I probably missed the explanation if there was one.

I got the guys mixed up; I thought you meant Colin, whom I remembered from Dream Corp LLC (hit-or-miss surreal comedy on Adult Swim). Then I looked up the name. “Oooooohhhh . . . the one male actor on the ‘show’ who could actually act! Or was a professional actor!” I haven’t seen Darkplace in years, but I felt dumb not recognizing that voice. I’m grateful we haven’t gotten “Staten Island Guido Vampires.” The references suffice for me, like Hylan Boulevard. If they cover the Staten Island Zoo, they’d have to clear the bar from the two goofy bit on that from SNL.

How many more episodes are there? I don't think the crazy can rise any more, and yet it does. Weird demonic squishy beings killing key figures in human history at their prime . . . hey, why not?!? I mean, if we could have an odd-unicorn/horse creature ejaculate rainbows from his horn . . . I liked this week's fight scene. Is there a name for the technique where the action is frozen and also showing the depth of that shot? I like the BTS clips after the episodes, because everyone seems to have a blast. "Well, when we got Big Show, we had to build a fake Big Show with the stomach crumbled and Blue landing inside of it."

Great episode chock full of veteran vampires. Should we quibble as to how the original WWDITS gang made the trip from New Zealand to New York so quickly? I don't think we should. Thinking about it, they probably flew in to Newark. Much closer to Staten Island. Maybe Nandor and the others have been decent vampires up until the series started. Then came the massive fuckups. Run, Guillermo!!! Turning a baby into a vampire is a real dick move. Shame on you, Laszlo. Looking at TVTropes' Crowning Moment of Funny, and I found this quote. I missed that bit. Hylan is basically a major vein on Staten Island. Fourteen miles long. That's the route that the express bus takes me to and from work.

First of all, I HATE when that happens. Secondly, I meant Ben. In my head, he and Rick are similar . . . editors like them a lot, they find idols and obnoxiously play them, yet I wouldn't hate either of them because the other players should have made damn sure they couldn't find idols. I just remembered Mike. That was the season with Rodney and Dan "Fugly" Foley, yes?

Reality Blurred recap: Andy is REALLY over this season. Quality cutting snark,

Did Rick get as much heat as Rick has these days? If Rick wins, it would more or less be the same thing, but Probst won't rub up against him because he's a schlubby beta male. ETA: Ben. "Did Ben get as much heat as Rick these days?" 🙄

Turns out Bernie is a second cousin to Doc Brown. They both look damn near the same after three decades. Lovely to see Fox & Friends make excuses. "He's so successful, he can afford to lose that much money!" 🙄🙄🙄 I can't see Steven Mnuchin without hearing John Oliver call him a "sex god" because there's a resemblance between those two. Please don't let me be the only one thinking this.

Shit. Really? HtH was one of the dumber parts of TAR30. Why bring that back? The teams waiting aren’t rewarded for lengthy leads over trailing teams, and Phil isn’t as adept doing commentary as Probst. Dae isn’t as toxic as at least half of the Challenge cast, as least to me. And I knew that was a kid. I just thought she was close to Charla’s size, enough for me to think, “Hey, Colin’s veins aren’t bulging and he not breaking out the m-word. Good for him!” Now, if he and Christie run into anyone with the same accent as Mirna? Duck.

Funny115: "Katie or Penner?" Basically, it's Mario gleefully carving into one of the most mentally vacant players ever cast for Survivor.

Episode title: "The Waterboy." The main takeaway: Paulie gets purged after repeatedly slamming into the water. Even for BMP, that's harsh. I mean, Paulie is probably going to be a mainstay, so the title seems mean-spirited. How brutal was Paulie's run? I felt bad for him. I'm thinking the other guys had the same thought: "I wanted him to lose, but I didn't want this." As far as painful fails go, this would rank with Sarah slamming into the mountainside in the penultimate mission of The Gauntlet. I don't like Paulie. I don't like his relationship with Cara Maria. I didn't want him to win . . . but seeing his chances dwindle and his girlfriend ugly cry? I felt bad. If you think I'm getting soft, I don't want Cara to win. She gets the $750K, Paulie gets a good chunk of that, either in money or gift form. Damn, that was a brutal fucking mission. That's two in a row, and the finale looks to be as intense (50 miles?!?) I also feel bad for Da'vonne going out after Mattie gave her an opening. Natalie faltering was surprising . . . your typical ANW course is a lot more intricate, but I'd figure she'd get through it without falling. Eight players left, and only three veterans are there. They have five combined titles, but the feeling is that a rookie could win it all. That hasn't happened since "COUSIN!" Jamie Banks won with Cara Maria on BOTB.