Lantern7

Jordan Wiseley. He has competed in four seasons, completed three, and won two. The one time he was bounced, it was because he wanted to step up to Johnny. If Jordan is on the winning side at the end of this season, I'd say he'll deserve a spot on the G.O.A.T. shortlist. With all that said . . . did he watch WOTW1 at all? BMP decided to make that final mission challenging, and they were willing to accept a few deaths along the way. Completing the mission would secure Challenge cred. Turbo won, and he was a legend throughout most of the season. But according to Jordan, Turbo's single victory means little, especially since Jordan himself was not competing. I want to like Jordan. I want to cut him some slack. And I think Turbo's a hothead whose ideal Proving Grounds battle would involve fighting with shovels. But at some point, Jordan has to stop wanking and stop being an asshole in general. I mean, he's more bearable than Cara Maria, Paulie, Ashley and Josh . . . but that is not saying much. Fuck it, everyone gets a shovel. Just have them try to kill each other in the sand. I mean, that's what we'll wind up with inside of five seasons anyway. So much in-fighting, so many people sniping and acting like fools. It gets to a point where we need Leroy gaping at Rogan's swimsuit area as he gets out of the pool. Fun mission, until you see that neither side completed it and the sudden death battle had half of the puzzle finished already. I think "Challenge Airlines" did that concept a lot better last season. Ashley had to stir the pot with Jordan and Turbo. Hey, someone had to fill Johnny's shoes. She probably wanted to leave notes for people to find and get huffy over, but I don't think she's capable of writing. Josh still sucks at life. He picks Natalie and Leroy for the Tribunal, and they go against his vote for Joss. Wherever he goes, the lights dim around him because he sucks that hard. He probably needed the entire box of Kleenex that night. Half the tissues for his tears, half for . . . other stuff. Turbo needs to dial it down. I mean, I like him trying to get Jordan to shake on a possible Proving Grounds battle, but he's not coming off as awesomely as last season. "Pussy Chicken" will never get old, though, even if "pussy" and "chicken" were separated by a period. Still, I think he's more like Ferdinand the bull, with Jordan waving a cape in his face and poking him in the ass with a sword. Speaking of Jordan . . . why not have him and Tori brawl with Cara Maria and Paulie? Because those two are horrible. Especially Paulie. I think he might have an inch or two on Derrick, but Derrick has shown WAY more humility. Theo just towered over him, and he still kept trying to start shit. Oh, and Dee almost died. Well, she just got dehydrated. But it seemed like a lot longer ago, what with all the shit in this episode.

I don’t think Karishma will last much longer. But I want her to go to IOTI. Sandra would hug her for about five minutes, then she’d give her an idol. “Sandra, I don’t think we can do this.” “You’re absolutely right, Rob. Here, take two, honey.” I mean, I get the arguments against her, but I feel for her. And I don’t think it’s out of any sort of political correctness. I mean, her (new?) tribe was already behind at RC. Everyone acted like getting bound and crawling through sand was NOT that tough. And Probst laid into her, so you know I gotta support her. When was the last time we had sponsored food? Probst was selling the shit out of Applebee’s. It’s not even the merge. I don’t know if it’s time to basically orgasm (or pretend to do so) for grub. I don’t drink alcoholic drinks. Is the gummie on the Blue Shark any good? I missed the Idols. At least they got some choice snark in at TC.

No incentive for him to come after he and Jessica lucked their way into their win on TAR30. I’m still bitter, especially when CBS hyped their win afterward . . . more than likely because they were on Big Brother. Look at the top teams from TAR31. I can’t see any of them doing The Challenge. In brief: Colin & Christie are too old. TAR5 Colin would’ve been a good fit. He was as hot-headed as some of today’s meatheads. Tyler is too famous, and I can’t see Korey coming here. Leo & Jamil, aka “The Afghanimals”? Too mature, even after their antics. Becca & Floyd? I can’t see it. When was the last time we had Challengers who were lovable dorks? Tori Deal likes to rap, right? She could freestyle with Becca. Maybe Nicole would come over. Victor? Been there, done that.

Mob is slated to appear in the next Death Battle, which takes place in two weeks. Here is his intro video:

Two new names: Kayla Fitzgerald The Amazing Race 30 I did a double-take, because I did not remember her at all. Turns out she and fellow "ring girl" Dessie (more like Instagram models) were the first team out in TAR30. I'm thinking that I should just be grateful Cody & Jessica aren't coming. Tori Hall Road Rules Viewers Revenge Earthshaking if true. When was the last time she saw the one-time Mrs. Fiorenza? Cutthroat? And would that mean Brad will be invited as well? ETA: Teege's name was added as host . . . just in case anyone thought BMP wouldn't bring in someone new.

Are you a Millennial? A Boomer? Basically, he's the front man for the band Pearl Jam, which gained prominence in the early-Nineties era of grunge rock. This is the video from "Alive," the song that John was "singing":

I know Monitor has to pump up CoIE . . . but he's going to be so annoying here, isn't he? He's probably mad that he can't hang out with the Legends (because reasons), and he has to be cryptic with Oliver every week. Oh, and have clandestine, canon-nudging meetings with Lyla. Can't forget that part. Seriously, I am liking Laurel-2. How the hell did that happen?!? Is it the outfit? Is it that her entire universe just got negated, and she can't help but look more sympathetic? Seriously, though, she should be broken down. If that had happened to Oliver, the void that had once been the universe of Earth-1 would have been filled with so much damn manpain. And yeah, I'm bugged Sara's name doesn't get mentioned. Actually, I vaguely remember that the Sara Lance of Earth-2 died on the Queen's Gambit. I'm guessing that if her name gets said out loud enough times, she jumps from the other side of a mirror and beats up everyone she sees. And then Mick Rory pops in to steal anything not bolted down. I'm still not "feeling" Star City 2049. I figure that plot will kept going until Monitor sends Oliver over to that time, and he gets reunited with William and Mia. I'm not really compelled by Diggle Brother Drama. I will say that one Deathstroke? Menacing. More than one? Not so much.

C.C. Sabathia: ‘The Onion’ Looks Back On The Career Of The Hardest-Working Belt In Baseball Too mean?

"Mrs. Diggle with Monitor? Why not???"

I don't think he destroys universes Last week was just really bad timing.

Going into this season, the word "screech" fits (that) Laurel better.

"Oh, shit, I forgot that other Katana would be needed for the new Suicide Squad movie." . . . aaaaaaaaaaand there's the Canary Cry. Siren Screech?

Oliver jumping awesomely, posing for his trading card . . .

Fun fact . . . if you say Sara's name three times into a mirror, she bursts through it and beats up everyone in sight. And then Mick Rory comes through and steals all your shit.

Honestly, I thought Sara-2 had died. Maybe she survived somehow. I like the idea of Saras in stereo.

Gotta save her voice for emoting.

Wow. I'm feeling for Laurel. I'm feeling for A Laurel. This truly is the end of the road. At least she didn't have to get dropped into a void, like Earth-2 Superman in CoIE #11.

"And no dressing us like the damn Trigger Twins!"

They didn't "lose" Sara. Barry just fudged up the timeline to where the conception was altered.

Heavy episode. It's offset by Frost's first birthday party, which gives most of the cast an excuse to dork things up. A mini-rave at STAR Labs? Hey, why not? The clock is ticking after all. Looks like Ramsey has a nifty superpower in seemingly controlling Dark Matter. Better than anything ability I can remember ol' D'ohinder had on Heroes. The bit where he got the zombie to back off was pretty funny and clever. Hey, another Wells! *sigh* At least this one doesn't look like a paper-thin character like Sherloque or any of the Council of Wellses. Hey . . .two years ago, who would've thought Ralph could carry a subplot? The guy might as well be animated fungus instead of stretchy. Dude grows on you.

Who was Cayden James? Oh, right, the villain that got killed to give Mumbly McGee clout.

"THIS IS KATANA! SHE'S GOT MY BACK1 I WOULD ADVISE NOT GETTING KILLED BY HER! HER SWORD TRAPS THE SOULS OF ITS VICTIMS!!" Oh, come on, I can't be the only one thinking that.

Wait, I thought Sara died on the Gambit on Earth-2. Seriously, though, how does one process losing EVERYTHING? All caps doesn't even cover it for Laurel-2.

"We're in Hong Kong. Shit, we're in Hong Kong! MONITOR!!!! MONNY!!!! We're too close to current events!"