KerleyQ

A lot of people like cats better than fat people. Seriously, though, it pisses me off that we've been subjected to the Justice for Duke the criminal shit for what seems like a lifetime, but it took a couple months for everyone to be like "yeah, but Sonny carried a bomb for a foot, so, bygones!" over AJ's death. I don't think it's even allowed to be acknowledged anymore.

You'd think they'd both know that's the way to go. There is nobody in their lives who approves of this, and the odds of his family actively raising a stink at a wedding are high. Just sneak off and do it so none of them get the chance to "speak now."

What in the actual fuck?

Did he snap that picture while they were screwing in the crypt?

But, don't you know? Everything's better with Franco!

It was just a matter of time. I figured, eventually, Sonny (or Michael or Carly) would be in danger because Sonny does something stupid, and St. Jasus, the Holy Hit Man would have to step back in and make it all better.

And that just reminded me of that awful "what happened to that girl..." line from Lucky, like he preferred her freshly raped. So, so gross.

Amphetamine waffles? LSD waffles?

You know, that's the best part of Steffy/Wyatt - no "Cha Cha Cha."

I was speaking more in general than specifically about her feelings towards Liz. Carly is someone who would treat any confidence as currency in some way. If I was Sam, being married to Carly's great obsession in life, I would never feel comfortable confiding in her. She's totally the kind of person who would "helpfully" share your feelings with someone else for her own purposes.

That always cracks me up. Everyone in town has everyone else in town's professional portrait as their caller ID, even people they're not particularly close to. It amuses me even more when it's someone you just cannot picture taking the time to set those pictures to each contact. Like, I fully expect, say, Maxie or Kiki to have pictures assigned to each contact in her phone, but I'd call bullshit on seeing Jason looking at his phone and seeing a caller ID picture coming up for anyone other than Sam (OK, or Carly, who probably put it in there for him).

BryDog - "But that's my thing! He's trying to steal my Emmy!!"

If decades of soap watching have taught me nothing else, it's that there are no coincidences when it comes to baby story lines. And, any time more than one is running at the same time, there will be shenanigans. So Sam popping up pregnant at the same time as Lulu is talking about getting her hands on that embryo isn't coincidental. Add in the anvils about Sam's complete and utter happiness that can't be destroyed, and it's almost a given that she's carrying that unholy embryo. Did we ever find out who was watching them have sex in the barn? Because it just occurred to me that it was likely a Cassadine minion who was keeping tabs on them, and once Helena found out they were sleeping together, she knew it was time to move forward, since Sam wouldn't question how she got pregnant. (Of course, if we did find out it was someone else, entirely,who was spying on them, then never mind that last part.) Please, this Jason was probably disappointed that he didn't get to wear that damn clown nose for his wedding. "Can I at least wear it in a few of the pictures?" He carries that sucker in his pocket.

I think she'd be wise to not discuss any of those kind of issues with Carly. You just never know when Carly is going to utilize that information for her own purposes, no matter how friendly she's acting in the moment.

I keep telling everyone, that baby is not theirs. It's totally the StavLu embryo.

He clearly got some lessons from Shawn.

They like to have some reliable regulars with some specific to the honoree mixed in. I think they're hoping Pete and Nikki will become part of that stable of regulars, because most of their old "regulars" seem to have moved on. Jeff will just always be there.

And now thinking of former AMC actors - they should get Vincent Irizarry. He'd be so good, and he has chemistry with inanimate objects.

I'd love to see MEK get it. He just finished up a run on Y&R, and he was one of the only good things going on that show, so he's available. (And MEK will always be one of my favorite soap actors, regardless of some of the shit they wrote him towards the end of AMC). Now watch them bring in Walt Willey so he can be Greenlee's father again. I love WW, but...no.

She's just bitter that she's stuck with the JV squad (when it was Bill she wanted originally), while Brooke Logan (cue Steffy's rant about those damn Logans) has Bill begging her to lock it down before the ink is even dry on his divorce papers. Enjoy Waffles, Steffy. Something tells me nobody will be calling him "Stallion" any time soon. Hope could have died, and Steffy would have pried the ring off her cold, dead body to slip onto her own finger. She can just take a seat.

They can just leave Nik dead for a few years or so. I wouldn't mind.

Yeah, Carly would give the kind of toast that's all about her super special BFFness with Jason. Sam might merit one throwaway line, but Carly would spend most of her toast rambling on about how amazing their friendship is, how the connection she felt to "Jake" the moment she met him is a testimony to their eternal devotion to each other, and how her life is once again complete having Jason back in her life. Spinelli was more obnoxious than usual today. And that's saying a lot. I think the only way to properly express my Spinelli hate is to say that I prefer Franco AND Nina to him, and it's not even close. May he never darken my TV screen again.

Ignore that quote box... I just love that the woman who constantly rants about all the "oversensitive PC crybabies" being too easily offended was the only person on that stage who could not take a joke about her own expense at all. Admittedly, some of the stuff lobbied her way was a bit harsher than what some of the others were getting, but she looked pissed off at even the relatively tame stuff. If I thought she was capable of any sort of honest self-assessment, I'd say that I hope that having to sit through all of that would make her reconsider her periodic rants defending her God-given right to call someone a "retard," but that's extremely unlikely to happen. And her material was just painfully awkward. She was worse than The Situation, and I didn't think that would ever happen. Side note: has any other member of a roast panel ever so blatantly shilled their own project? I could not believe she actually pulled a copy of her book out and set it up on the podium. I really liked Ralph. We usually don't see something quite that self-deprecating from the roasters. And it ended on a sweet note. And I give Rob credit for being open about his past issues, and how low he had sunk at one point, but I still can't believe he was totally fine with all of those jokes about the sex tapes and teenagers. I guess he's been pretty open about his struggles and his past behavior with his sons, too, because they seemed to just roll with all of it. (I don't think his wife seemed thrilled at a lot of it, though).

OK, the show can't seriously expect us to not give that all the side eye, right? Are they really that clueless to put those words in Steffy's mouth and not get the hypocrisy? In my ideal world, this would be foreshadowing of her telling Liam where to go, because he has continually refused to respect her marriage (and then Wyatt promptly dumps her ass anyway, for all of her waffling bullshit). But, this is definitely not my ideal world, so I assume that we're all supposed to pretend that she is second only to Liam on the list of people who should never, ever judge someone on that front. I really, really hope she keeps them for herself. She can tell Ridge that she loves him, Rick, and Eric, and she isn't going to permanently alter the balance of power - her main concern right now is Eric's well-being and ensuring that he doesn't do something he regrets to the company while caught up in his infatuation with Quinn (I love them together, but that's how I expect most of the characters view that relationship, at best). So she'll keep the shares herself, and she'll vote them in the manner that she believes is for the best at any given time. I wasn't around for red suit Brooke, so I'd like to see her wield some power and portrayed as a competent, intelligent business woman.

I hope that, if that is what it is right now, it ends up with Brooke and Bill siding with Eric.