KerleyQ

Or Joss. Or the chupacabra. Or just stuff him in a tree.

When it comes to Cujo, lightning has let me down many, many times.

Why is Aly dressed like a 15 year old goth boy circa 1998? Well, Waffle Pong, enjoy your great love with Steffy. Because that bitch is going to be making passive aggressive "jokes" about your marriage for a long damn time. Bonus points for her "I like you to be able to tell us apart" line. But, at the same time, don't worry, Steffy. No way anyone could mistake one of you for the other.

It could actually show some character growth if she does have a problem with the way he's come to her now. She knows that Liam never 100 percent chose her during the Triangle of Doom. Their first marriage was the result of manipulation. The second was because she was pregnant. Neither involved him passionately declaring that she's the only one for him and he can't live without her. I'm sure, with Hope out of the picture completely, she had it in her head that she should just be his first and only choice now. And, first, he flat out turned her down (during her last brief stint) because he loved Ivy (seriously, do you even remember that, Waffle Pong?) Then, she returns to town, and he marries Ivy after leading her to believe they could have a go at a relationship. That all had to leave her feeling like, once again, he's never just going to passionately declare his love for her and only her. Then, he shows up and tells her his marriage is over. She probably had an instant reaction of "oh my God, he's finally choosing me and only me! He's even going to let Ivy risk deportation!" Then he keeps talking, and she hears the rest of the story. And his coming to her didn't happen without a boost from Ivy. Ivy told him they didn't need to stay married, and Ivy said she didn't want to be with him if he wanted to be with Steffy. Since Steffy knows Liam is a waffle (after all, she exploited his waffle side to manipulate him into being with her more than once in the past), this is starting to sound to her a lot like he didn't "choose" her so much as Ivy gave him a nice push out the door. That doesn't feel anything like him declaring his undying love for her and only her. Add in that Ivy looks like the "good girl" here, because she didn't hide her changed citizenship status from him to keep him, and I could see why a Steffy who has learned from her past with Liam would be wondering exactly how completely he's into her. She's already spent years playing understudy to one good girl. And this new good girl? She has no hangups about having sex with Liam, so Steffy can't even leverage sex as a selling point to tip the scales in her favor. And even if she hasn't matured much, it still has to sting that she still hasn't completely "won" him over another woman. My guess is that she will now want him to grovel a whole lot, to prove that he will fight to be with her.

This could all be saved for me if Monica finds out and sends CPS after Sonny's ass. Sadly... ...instead, her damn boyfriend is probably going to just sign off on the unfit alleged father being handed the baby with no procedure needing to be followed. And he wouldn't let Maxie have her baby because she was dating a cop. If Ron wants to give me headaches, he could just send someone to icepick my skull and eliminate the extra pain that is watching this shit. I know this is a typo, but I love it, because, well, let's be real, Sonny would protect Avery with her own life. Protecting her with his own life is a little below his pay grade.

That was me. I still stand by it. Helena is just that twisted. I'm almost morbidly curious if Ron would dare to retcon Jake's accident as a Legion of Doom plot all along, despite the fact that there is just no real believable way they could write Helena and company as being able to have predicted that Jake would run out into the road at that precise moment. "Pay no attention to what you've seen on your screens, peasants. I'm telling THIS story now!"

I think Luke's made it pretty clear over recent years that he as no interest in a functional, healthy relationship.

She could have said Dillon was going along because he wanted to confront Luke about ditching his mother like that.

Since I haven't seen anything about Jane leaving, it could be a love story about them in the sense that he ends up leaving town and disappearing to protect her for some reason. Or he dies, but not before telling her how he feels? Ron has kind of a twisted thought process, so the way it ends up being a "love story" about Tracy and Luke could be something totally different than any of us would think. But my guess is it will come down to being about affirming Luke and Tracy's love while not actually ending with them together in any way.

If the wedding favors aren't little mini chocolate Daytime Emmy's, it'll be such a disappointment.

"Oh my God, Morgan, do you have a traumatic brain injury, too?"

I kind of bought Shawn viewing it as her leaving him. That's Shawn's long running issue - he feels like he's somehow not worthy because people keep leaving him. No matter how Angela presented her trip to him, he was going to see it as her leaving him. That's not saying that she did leave him (or, at least, that she intended it as her leaving him at that time), but that's how he felt.

It would be one thing if we saw him convinced Lulu was cheating on him, he is clearly angry, ties one on, and ends up crossing some line with Valerie (I mean, it should be Anna, but, whatever). But him acting like "well, I've been into her cousin for minutes now, so yay for being able to act on it instead of confronting my wife and having an adult conversation about the problems in our marriage" is what's going to piss me off. That's not Dante. I could see it going the other way around - Lulu thinking Dante was having an affair and being too impulsive and Spencer-ish to talk to him, then turning to, say, Johnny, and being like "screw it, we've always been attracted to each other." But I just don't buy it from Dante. The one through line in Dante's character from the moment he laid eyes on Lulu has been his utter devotion to her, paired alongside his down to the bone goodness. I refuse to believe that he's been giving any real thought to "hey, I want Lulu's cousin I just met, because we both were raised by single moms," to the point where he so easily says, the second he believes the worst of his wife, "there's something between us." Nope. Nope. Nope.

Nobody knows how to snatch bad story out of the jaws of good story quite like Ron. There is not one single thing in those spoilers that makes me sit up and say "oh, that could be good!" Not one thing. And I will definitely skip Monday. I do not need the rage blackout that will result from seeing Sonny rewarded with his latest prize, whose name he will promptly forget two minutes after Michael gives her back, just because the return of baby AJ didn't also come wrapped up in a nice bow with Michael vowing his everlasting devotion and hoisting back one to toast Sonny murdering his father in cold blood. And, dammit, how dare anyone not give Sonny everything he wants? And since Michael, Sabrina and AJ were pretty much all I was enjoying on this show these days, of fucking course Ron had to take a wrecking ball to it. Dumbass.

And now I'm surprised we haven't had some combination of Emma/Spencer/Joss/Cameron swapping gum. (Although I'm one hundred percent certain the boy in that scenario would be Spencer, because, of course.)

For a moment, when he was shocked she told him, I thought he was going to have an epiphany that here was a woman with the integrity to tell him, and he was a fool to want to go running to a woman he knows damn well would never tell him until she was completely cornered with no way out. Apparently, though, his epiphany was that he loves the kind of woman who will lie, cheat, and steal to get to his waffle stick.

Ivy should have said something along the lines of "that you even think that shows the kind of woman you're into, and that's not me." I just don't get this show. Are we supposed to all feel this rush of "finally, after everything that has conspired to keep these two crazy kids apart!" love for Liam telling Steffy they can be together now?

So they hurt Tracy, almost got Luke raped, and are probably ruining their sister's marriage. They couldn't have just bought him a bottle of booze for Father's Day?

Well, of course, Michael stole her! Oh, you mean her actual child? Yeah, she's been left to her own devices for so long, she's probably the one who kidnapped Lucky.

As they're bonding over the sacred night light, Avery starts playing in all the shards of bar ware littering Sonny's living room floor.

Her parents are the worst. Bringing your underage child to clubs and exposing them to drinking and drugs at an early age because you want to live vicariously through their fame is so disgusting and messed up. I think that, at some point, some of these parents almost prefer their kids to be drinking or using, because it makes them less likely to become strong and independent enough to take over their own lives and get out of the business.

Few people in the world disgust me more than the grasping stage parents. It's just so gross to look at your child as your meal ticket and put that pressure on them.

It's ridiculous that she is terrified to tell Nik (presumably because the bad guys will know she told), but she sits around having on person and over the phone conversations with Dillon about it multiple times per day. Yeah, risk bringing in the fucking filmmaker, but don't bring in your husband, the cop, who has experience with this shit. Makes total sense. And Dante not just flat out saying to her "I know you're hiding something, you need to let me in here," is absurd. ...Sigh...Why you bringing up old stuff? It was all Olivia's fault! If she had just told him Dante was his son, he (probably) never would have shot him point blank in the chest! Geez! Cue bar ware flinging.

I got the impression that it was blackmail when Lucy said to Nik something to the effect of "I was only supposed to vote to keep you on the board." I really can't remember the exact wording, but it was clear, to me, that she was acting under some kind of duress from Nik there. Either that or LH feels like this shit makes absolutely no sense at all, and she's adding her own layers to it in her performance. If this isn't tied into the Lucky kidnapping, and it is just Nik being a douchebag, I hope that, when Lucky eventually resurfaces, he reams Nik out for betraying Em's memory by using her as an excuse to steal the company of the family she loved.