Silly Angel

100%. I don't think airport app kid was an entitled millennial brat; he seemed kind of sensitive and clearly Mom had never said no to him, but he was so crushed, it made me sad. Your first lesson from the real world, kiddo. That said, you never get a pass from me by saying, "I worked so hard!" On your shitty idea that no one needs? So what? On something that failed? It happens. Only to be turned down? We've all been there. On a huge success? Good for you. But that doesn't prove, like people accepting awards always say, that if you persevere and follow your dreams, you'll be richly rewarded with money, success, fame, hookers and tacos. Sometimes you try and try and fail and some lucky chump gets the goods. There's no formula for success, and certainly working hard isn't the metric. You can also byo to the airport. They'll let a sandwich and a bag of chips through security, and you don't have to eat oversalted, overpriced airport garbage.

The shop of that Cherman Cheweler with the weird twitchy mannerisms is, I believe, off either Lake Street or Huntington in Pasadena. BH 90210 loved Pasadena. That's where the Equinox was (is, actually), the Only Coffee Shop in L.A., where the gangsters used to go (before cappuccino made everyone gay). I didn't remember this episode in detail, so Val's story shocked me. It's funny, because I was just rewatching Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me for the billionth time, and the "Your hands are filthy!" scene never bothers me, because my dad was just like that. Loved making people feel uncomfortable, creating awkwardness and impossible situations, especially for the vulnerable, although he wasn't physically abusive. But that Val shit...damn. "A little girl who loved her daddy so much, she made him do terrible things." That's some ace victim-blaming right there, and a great way to get into a little girl's head forever and ever, seeding guilt, shame and misery. Eesh. Glad that monster is dead. Although as far as the show is concerned, it makes me only root for Valerie and hate Kelly more.

Is next week really Cheatgate? Or just Margarita-Michael under-the-bus drama? I was so hoping the cheating would involve the twins but I don't see ho that's possible if they just melt down, cut and cry, and make two more shitty designs. Sigh, I miss the Mocking Wall of Loser Looks.

OK, I've learned my lesson. If Frank Sobatka is involved in a subplot, I won't be able to understand it.

God, I love Richmond so much! Noel has been charming on TGBBO so far and I'm glad he's adding his weird, surrealist, self-deprecating whatever-it-is to the show,

Shawn and Claire talk like Little Edie Beale. If one of them says, "This is the revolutionary costume for the day" I will lose my shit. Was Chacha's model "fat"? Or even plus size? Pfft, bye, Felicia, and take your unicorn poop with you.

SAVED! By a tidal wave/take me away/t-t-take me away... Hee-hee. Now it's going through your head.

What has happened to the psychology of this show? None of the characters make any sense anymore. I liked the stolen-song subplot; I thought it was quite escandalo. But Juliette confesses all and embraces her perfect husband and all is right. No, wait, first Juliette steamrolls over her church friend, then insanely accuses avery of hitting on her, then steals the song, then whines to Avery by phone about fascinating things like diapers and air conditioning because, I guess, she suddenly has no idea what it's like to be out and tour and it never occurs to her that ain't nobody got time for that, even your endlessly patient husband. Scarlett "picks apart" everything Gunnar does and sabotages relationships with a thousand tiny cuts--since when? I'm thrilled they broke up. (free Gunnar! Establish the Gunnar-Will-Avery spinoff immediately!) But G could have legitimately mentioned that Scarlett mopes around like an entitled tree squirrel and is a wet blanket and a joy killer. Waaaah, they want me to sing but I'm a poet! Waaah, all these people are watching me onstage living the dream of countlessNashville hopefuls; how dare they! Waaah, I have to dress up cute for a photo shoot and not look like I escaped from the 1932 Free People catalogue! Waah, this elaborately nonsensical video shoot is so hard and my husband so cute and nice; think I'll bone the shitty director! Waah, I'm pregnant! Waaah, evil journalist twisted my words by publishing exactly what I said! Waaah, I lost the baby! At least they didn't kill Avery on his drive home in the storm that was all over the radio and very scary, apparently, even though nothing came of it. So glad he's off the tour bus. That whole thread was idiotic. So sick of Rando Tour Chick sidling up to him like a rhinestone Littlefinger and needling him about his marriage. I'm relieved he did not bone down on her, but if they weren't going to, and he wasn't even tempted, wtf? Meanwhile, "Alyssa" sings. Because. Then smooches on Deacon, which is highly unacceptable. "You looked like you needed it"??? If that happened to me, there would be a pair of bloody lips lying on the pavement. Put it back in your pants, Summer Roberts. No. One. Is. Allowed. To. Touch. Anyone. Else. Without. Their. Permission. Go back to Bluebell where you were awesome. And again with the since when. Since when is Zach a lonely little boy who never had a family? We saw nothing of the groundwork laid for his character to justify Deacon's amazing sensitive act as the Silicon Valley heart-whisperer. Hi, Will! Bye, Will! See you next year, or not. Wow, it just occurred to me now that we watched an O.C. reunion all season. I don't think they ever met on Nashville, though. Took me long enough.

This season is such a slog. Everyone is acting either like a high school student (Steve stealing papers again? Yawn. Isn't that well dry now, considering how many times we've revisited it?) or a someone who's not in college (everyone else) or incoherently (everyone). Plus "Battlin'" Ray Pruit is the sole voice of reason. A last word on wine glasses. I hate every show that depicts fancy people at fancy events coddling their champagne glasses like a toasty mug of hot cocoa. Hold the stem! You look tacky and it warms the champers. Also people forking in food like farmhands. Also Brandon. I hate him too.

Sigh. Okay, I guess I should 'fess up. I hold coffee cups Brandon style. If I'm drinking coffee, it's probably chilly, and I like the warmth on my hand. There, I said it. But I would NEVER pour a white wine into a burgundy or Bordeaux glass, and never hold a glass, whatever the shape, containing white, with a full hand like a damn fool, warming it up and shit. God, I hate Brandon. Amazing catch on the Unabomber manifesto. That explains so much. Now I want a follow up where his shitty paper about the history of lying bites him on the ass while he's running for city council.

It did happen to me, and lemme tell ya, it's no fun and kind of scary. That said, you just have to, like, push, I guess using the same muscles you'd use for childbirth. But no close friends had an epiphany about their sexual orientation in the process. This show is terrible but there's nothing else on right now between Sunday nights.

Was my laptop weird or did Shea not seem to know the words?

In my experience, it was mostly punk rock Latino dudes who wore leather jackets with LADS in studs on the back and never did anything. But yeah, they existed.

Wow, I really liked this. Eye candy to the max, with a tight script. The weirdest '80s moment for me was the mini-thugs in "Los Angeles Death Squad." LADS was a real, not very violent or active, baby gang in L.A. during my punk-rock high-school years. We had a fair number of them in my public school. Mostly ok kids, actually.

Holy shit. That was amazing. Normally while watching this show I want to lick Ricky Whittle but damn, Kristen Chenowith and Gillian Anderson's skin looked so gorgeous, i wanted to lick their faces, heavy cream and caramel. TMI? It took a whole season to get us to the verge of the holy war. I'm interested to see how the TV show handles what comes next. Orlando Jones was hypnotic, and I don't mind Bilquis not having too much dialogue--her power is in her gorgeous eyes, her smile, her seductive aura. Problematic when the character and actress are dark-skinned, but it works (for me) within the context of the show. I just saw Jeremy Davies on Twin Peaks and he shows up here, all haloed and talking Jesusy nonsense (no offense). Getting the too-much-TV spins.

Oh god please no--do not set up this rando blonde as Deacon's new love interest. If he brings her home, I hope Daphne burns the damn house down. Speaking of, I've had enough of Terruh Streetchild in theory, but she does seem to be adapting and it's nice for Daphne to have a sister around. I feel like I've seen the scene a million times, especially recently, of course, where a clueless white idiot, female, gets up on her we-have-rights high horse while the person of color she's with cringes and gets into more trouble because of her big dumb mouth. The scene was well shot and very tense, but urgh. SHUT UP, MADDIE. So Scarlett still has "feelings" for Lord Smirkberry. Understandable, considering she told him about the pregnancy and he was all, "Ew, gross. What terrible luck for me. Welp, good luck with that shit." And then comes back behaving as if he's on all the cocaine shoving a McMansion at these clueless dorks and raving about "our own little family." A real prince, that guy. I'm so over her dumb wiener storyline. Time for a spinoff sitcom of Avery, Gunnar and Will sharing a bachelor pad and making country music. I'd watch the hell out of that. I was really hoping Juliette would steal the song. She may still yet. And careerwise, she totally should. It's better suited to her and it would be a very Juliette way of sticking it to Travis for being a dismissive dick and trying to catch the youth train. Handing her the song to pass on was really disrespectful. Whatever Juliette's current position in the Nashville hierarchy, he's a vet and should know how quickly things can change and be more careful about who he steps on. The old Juliette would lay waste to him and it would be glorious. Good thing she has no distractions like a baby!

Well, get comfortable, because nothing happens this entire season. I was rewatching along with AWT and halfway through seven just stopped due to a combination of Who Are These People, I Don't Know What's Going On, and Nothing Just Happened, Twice. I would literally cue up an episode unable to remember a nanosecond of what came before.

I was struck by the use of fife and drum music during the opening scene in Vulcan, and thought of the rock critic and music historian Robert Palmer’s discussion of how martial fife and drum morphed into the earliest, most basic version of the blues. It’s probably more than the show wanted to get into, but the flat, stark, dumb portrayal of Murrica-first gun nuts soaked in Nazi imagery was such a waste. It could have been a fine opportunity to highlight the threat of the new gods at old America’s doorstep, the transmutation of the music of war, fear, bloodshed and triumph into the music of grief and sorrow and, in the end, a celebration of life and strength in the face of adversity. But as depicted in Vulcan, the folks were just…assholes. What a waste. I actually really liked the Coming to America sequence. I saw that Jesus as the Jesus of the Crossings, and it was a reminder that among the gods we “recognize,” who are most active in our Western daily lives, Jesus has as many avatars as many of the pantheistic gods of old. I thought it was rather beautiful. They brought this god with them, and the Jesus of the Crossings is alive in American society in many ways still. Then again, I’d watch a whole series of Coming to America stories. Which reminds me—Salim! Love him. And I love Mad Sweeney, despite the fact that he’s gross. They both want something, and Salim seems to have such a rich inner life. I hated Dead Wife for tuning him out, the selfish bitch. What does she want? Shadow? She cheated on him. To be resurrected? She tried to kill herself. She’s a bitchy nothing of a character, and I hate her calling Shadow “puppy”; it sounds so demeaning and snotty. (Didn’t hate it in the book—I hope that’s not too booky to say.) Overall, I didn’t hate the episode but I had to watch it in sections over three days because the goddamn John Zorn-style skronky saxophone throughout the first third and the Dramatic Kettledrums and Timpani of Doom over the rest of it just about drove me to throw my laptop into the fireplace. Tone down the music, folks! This is not Hannibal!

The most annoying thing in this episode was the wonky placement of the dumb jeweled headband thingy on Juliette. I wanted to yank it straight. Please let her turn into a raging, selfish bitch again. The RSB roles can't go to the James daughters; it's just too boring. We need a villain, one we remember and love from season one.

On a closeup I noticed the sprinkling of adorable Jessie the Cowgirl Doll freckles on Sasha's Village People look. That killed me. Damn, is she is smart and stylish as hell, and she thinks things through. I don't know how else to put it. The tiny house with the rainbow flag, the medieval tapestry and bloody unicorn tip...she considers every aspect and detail of her looks. Love her. The freckles were rather realistic, and may not have read from the judges' seats, which I think went toward the general feeling that the look was amped-up clever streetwear rather than insane Big Gay Ball.

I laughed so hard at this. Thank you! I've thought long and hard about this issue every episode. and it was never the right time to bring it up on the forums, but here I go. The characterization of Brandon, abusieiveish boyfriend, all-around asshole, savior of the world, solver of squashable beefs, flat-loathing-faced cockknuckle...how much of the it is the writing and how much the acting, or directing? I often imagine the lines he's given being read by someone who doesn't make them assholic--it can be done. Until it can't, like in this endless season. I think it was Priestly bringing that shading to the character for the first few seasons and ever after the writers turned him into such an inexplicable superstar/fucking dillhole that the characterization was not only inescapable, but made nth-power more horrific by Priestly. And he was so good in Gods and Monsters! But I'm still torn. Where do you stand, AWT stalwarts? Jason Priestly or the writers of Brandon's character? I need this solved so I can get some sleep and start full-time worrying about what's going on in the new Twin Peaks.

Not to be That Guy, but Beyonce pinched her "Hold Up" video from Swiss artist Pippilitti Rist's "Every Is Over All," a 1997 video installation. It's prety great, too, although I think, "I'm not playing with your meatball" is the best line in pop music in the last 10 years. Anyway, Rist's stuff is well sorth a look. Daveed is so cute. I'm shipping him and Kimmy hard. But I'm sad that the clean water initiative got shut down, thanks to Kimmy. Seriously, the one good thing Jacqueline has ever done and it gets derailed. Hope she enjoys her glass of carrot-juice-looking sludge!

I had a big smile on my face the whole episode--well, since the crew was introduced, not during the depressed and depressing Nina parts at the beginning. But overall, this was DELIGHTFUL. Nothing on TV makes me feel that way. (Granted, I mostly watch kill-yourself-TV like Black Mirror and The Handmaid's Tale, but still.) Speaking of Nina, considering all the shit she puts on her face, her skin is gorgeous. Either that or the lighting guy was so jealous that he didn't get chosen to be a drag sister that he went out of his way to demonstrate his mad ninja lighting powers. Also, After the third or fourth time Nina pulled out the exaggerated-cheekbones/skull/animal face makeup thing, I wondered why the judges never called her on it. And then she did it again, only shittily. They did call her on everything below the neck, though, which I thought was weird. I get that her drag aesthetic is unique and I welcome new flavors into the drag world, but a RPDR winner has to be adaptable. That said, when Ru sashayed her away with "Nina Bonina Andre Charles," I teared up a little bit. Way to show compassion and solidarity with your unstable queen, Ru. Bitch is a class act. "Have you ever seen a dog walking in snow?" Oh, Trinity, never change.

I was taken out of it badly by Selina flying coach at the end, but overall I liked it a lot, and howled at Gary bending in to whisper, "Mike McClintock" when Mike walked in. The "mom" stuff with Marjorie was gold, Richard is a national treasure as usual, and the general theme of all these awful fish trying to swim in normal waters was just great. I was so curious where they'd go after last season. That said, I think the problem with Ben's racist bullshit at Uber was a writer fail. Whereas it was easy with the rest of the gang to show how they couldn't function outside of the Washington fishbowl, the Ben business had to demonstrate how savvy old Ben was out of touch with glib young SV types. But they didn't do that. Instead of weaving offensive/insulting talk into language and alienating people, like Amy does (although the gross payoff with Buddy was pretty funny), or going full-tilt boogie against opponents to a frightening degree because it's second nature, he just sounded like a stupid drunk uncle being clueless, thinking he's funny. "I got the yellow fever." Jesus. That's shit Pops on the Goldbergs would say; he doesn't know any better. Ben does, and only deploys such crudity in the cause of something. I had to look up Selina's adorable Eiffel Tower PJs. They are from Bedhead and only come in plus sizes right now, which makes me the saddest.

My heart went out to Sara. I know what it's like to keep up a facade of cheer and try to jolly a whining man out of his shitty mood (protip: don't; it never works and gives them another enemy to focus on) so you can go on and get things done. It's a crummy position to be in and not good for the sisterhood. I am not casting aspersions on the veracity Shamir's injury. I am not close to him or his balls. Just sayin', Sara was frustrated as hell during Sackgate but put on a big hashtagblessed smile at the mat, and that depressed me.