Silly Angel

Plop Star idiot's jar, for which he no doubt paid a lot of good cash, read "The world's most discrete bathroom sanitizer." Later, when they showed the packaging it read "discreet." Still, you're a fool; you can't proofread your own shit; I'm glad you got no deal; I liked nothing about this guy, although I do like the tiny little travel-size Poo-Pourri atomizers that are smaller and more DISCREET than your dumb packets. End of rant. That dude put me in a mood. P.S. Now I'm craving Snacklins.

Can anyone tell me how many days Laura's wedding is? I don't think she's mentioned it. 2? 4?

"Sincerely, Raymond Holt." Amazing

So many WTFingF quotes this week! I wanted to half the cast and judges to line up so I could smack them. "Practice it at home." Fuuuuuuuck you, Nadine. Even if your model did not walk the exact way you wanted (or, as it seems--I'm not an expert) was empirically "bad" at walking the runway, she gets paid for her time working and no model is going to do whatever it is you imagine is her dream weekend: strut around her NYC apartment, tears streaming down her face, stuffing laxatives in her mouth, desperate to get your specific walk right so you can not go home. And fat-shaming her on the runway for HER (Nadine's) OWN INCOMPETENCE was just beyond the pale. May I share a story? Back in the mists of time, 2006 or so, I ordered a gorgeous transseasonal coat. I wanted simple swing-line camel coal that looked like an rich Vassar girl from 1965 would wear rain or shine for decades because she came from the kind of WASPy old money that was, "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or go without" kind of Yankee frugal. It looked like nothing but was so well-made, those in the know would know. I told the girl at by phone at the shop in New York that I was a Target size 8, so couture fat, large or extra large. She laughed and said, no, their 8 would fit me fine. I love my coat and still wear it all the time. Thank you, Emmett McCarthy of Season 2 Project Runway. His store, EMC2, is now closed, but they had beautiful dresses and shoes and were so nice, and never made me feel like I wasn't welcome as a customer because I wasn't a size 00. Stefon's mom was a joke, right? That person doesn't really exist, or is a performance artist? "People in Korea walk around in gas masks." They, uh, they do? Like World War I gas masks? I wish! And finally: "My teacher got me kicked out of fashion school." Really, poor little match girl? I don't think that's how it works.

Thank you! That was an amazing "statistic." It can't possibly be true. Any millennials what to weigh in here and tell us WTF is going on with y'all buying clothes and then throwing them away? Ridiculous. Those two idiots made me hate the go-go Silicon Valley, contagious bullshit, make-a-million-on-a-dumb-idea-and-get-out culture ever more.

Sorry, I could not get past the idea of those prosthetics as body mods. I threw up a little each time they showed them. I have a real problem with skin molded into different shapes. Urp.

Speaking of diapers, that' what I'll always remember Lisa D'Amato for. That's some tough drunken behavior to live down. i howled when I saw her and her stupid, humiliating feedbags with their cheaply made plastic emitting toxins into the little kids' food. It's such an American product. Snack all day! Eat on the go! In the car! On the playground! During playdates! On the toilet! Never wait to stuff your face or show up for structured mealtimes, just cram it in any old time. And it had nothing to do with nutrition. So her demo versions were packed with broccoli; what's to stop a mom from loading one up with Oreos, chicken fingers and fries? She's a famewhore and can't stay away from reality TV, and her kids with their unfortunate names are now paying the price. I enjoyed the Pickup Pool guy and his redneck invention. That looked like something in a country music video and he seemed very sweet. Not everyone has a pickup, though. It was refreshing to see the waffle guys come out talking about butter and sugar pearls and decadence and whipped cream. Made a nice change from vegan, gluten-free, keto, no-carb garbage products that glut this show. Silkroll was baffling. In a world with Buffalo Exchange and Thredup and other ways companies are making consignment clothing work for the customer and the buyer, their plan was complicated and weird, plus, they made, like, no money. I guess dropping Silicon Valley buzzwords gets you investors in San Francisco but it didn't fool the sharks. And the name--they couldn't even defend it. I don't often agree with Kevin's meanest barbs, but in this case, the product is a dog that needs to be put down, and those two girls are cockroaches, business-wise.

Clothes aside, it was so weird to me how everyone's confession that they were going to go call a loved one sounded like they were announcing they were going to masturbate. "I've, uh, been...missing something...and I'm going to, you know, go into that other room for a minute and...do the thing."

100%. My picky princess gets raw meat, which is expensive and a pain in the ass to freeze, slice, store, thaw and feed to the little monster. The herring is literally harvested from a lake in Minnesota by the local Native tribe. She eats better than I do. So as someone who often feels as if she lives in Canine Nation, I jump at labels with cats on them. It's misleading and also, dumb. But this week was a dumb bonanza. Float spas are indeed everywhere and the best of them have chambers or small rooms you step into, with a door behind you. I would be terrified getting into a just-body-sized tank and pulling that shell down--shudder. A water coffin. Kidzzz Banzzz was begging to be knocked off, maybe by a competitor that would offer specific rewards for specific compliances, so that kids could chase that one charm they don't have yet--like Pokemon or baseball cards; kids are natural collectors. Until they're not. When that mouthy robot 11-year-old hits 13, those cheap plastic charms won't seem so cool. I feel like the dog selfie guy watched the previous pitcher get shut down, and figured it was time to play the crying game. I couldn't even tell what he was crying about--protecting his business from knock-offs? Which, 1) so...you mean doing your job as head of an entrepreneurial endeavor is too emotionally wrecking? and 2) so don't create a product that is, in the words of the Sharks, just a product and by no means a business, that is a near novelty, cheap to produce, can even be replicated at home, and might as well be called Please Knock Me Off. Buncha dummies this week. As a poster said above, the only thing good that came out of it was the terrific pooch pics. Thanks, everyone!

The return of Neena Gahcia! Yay! But I couldn't help but wonder, Sex and the City-ly, why she's from a small town in "South America." Can you not say "Colombia" on TV?

I was so surprised by how much I liked her, and how at ease she was with the designers. No uncomfortable settling-in period. I kind of wanted to hate her, because of she's part of a crime family, but I sold out my values for entertainment--I'm an American, dammit! That's what we do. She's also 9 feet tall, which is amazing. The guy part of the couple I watched with looked up and gasped, "How tall IS she?"

God, this episode was amazing. If they are all that good this season, I might pass out. Not only was it funny as hell and full of New York New Yorkiness, and brought back characters we love in a non-schmoopy way, but it began hinting at the reasons the show is coming to a close. Abbi's hitting a milestone birthday and wondering what's next, talking about kids and both of them envying Cheese, and Ilana's torn-up foot, indicating the vulnerabilities of age and the fact that they can't really get away with all the shit they got away with in their early 20s. This show does our relationship with social media so much better than Grown-ish's slick, addicted, complicit take on it.

Wow, through the windmill and int the clown's mouth just to re-establish the Latrice/Valentina equilibrium. The producer manipulation is strong in this one. While I really enjoyed the episode, I didn't realize the game was so completely rigged until after it was over. And thanks, misleading interstitial, for making it look as if Latrice was Bendela-ing the joint again with her "bye-bye" gesture. And is it me or are Ru's songs really hard to lip-sync to? They don't lend themselves to epic performances. I wish "Ladyboy" had been in the mix.

Way to slut-shame Claire, Cam, you dick. And is Alex dead? She hasn't been around much this season.

I was so over Manila with her performative cry-faces over Latrice (which, don't get me wrong--I LOVE me some Latrice Royale), but now I'm kind of falling for him again because of the sock garters. Werk those calves, girl! Not that it's important, but I drank a weird blue cocktail, called the Aquacade in honor of Esther Williams, with Lady Bunny at some hidden bar on Church Street when we went to New York for the Stonewall 35 celebration. It was magical.

How come no one said, "Eat the cake, Anna Mae!" I mean, duh.

Yes! And his sugar mama. Surprised they didn't go with Phyllis or Gertrude or Hazel or Bertha.

And Jian Yang from Silicone Valley.

Aaand I'm out. These people are hateful and never mind why they would spend one minute with each other, I don't have to spend one more minute with them. I was willing to give Kate a chance to show she's a human being but I absolutely loathe women who are always undefinably "sick" and make everybody scramble to attend to their non-existent medical needs in order to get emotional attention.

According to the gif, Dylan knocks Donna into the pool (Dylan 2020!) which is water as far as the eye can see in the direction she falls, with the round bit front right of screen. Then she presumably catapults across the water or torques substantially to smack her dumb baby head on either the far end of the pool or the round protruding part. I keep watching it and it doesn't make sense either way.

I'm not being snarky here, but honestly asking whether this is supposed to be funny. How did any of these people saddle themselves with Jennifer Garner's character to begin with? I would understand if they are all micro-managing yuppie horrorshows, but she's a straight-up tight-ass they all seem semi okay--a little problematic, as we all are, but not impossible. And why would Nina-Joy (that name! Ugh) even show up if Katie was EVEN MORE of a cooze to her personally than she usually is to everyone? I'll watch the next one, but if it doesn't involves Miguel and Manic Pixie Juliette Lewis Girl (also known as Juliette Lewis 97% of the time) just doing their own thing and ignoring Katie and having fun, I'm out. So many cliches among the characters! I'm not a huge Lena Dunham fan but she is capable of imagining more nuanced characters. The whole pilot read to me as a '90s "yuppies-in-the-wild" comedy, and about as unfunny.

Ok, I'm super late to the party but just realized this was back on. Busy Phillips is a national goddamn treasure, and that soft gray onesie thingie Amber Ruffins was wearing looked like the single most comfortable piece of clothing ever. I know this show is hilarious but I learn so much about history!

That makes sense. They didn't bother to make her Tonya Hardingesque (in fact she looks like Nancy Kerrigan)or make mother sound as trashy as, say, Luanne, or whatever Ray's mother's name was. Trasherina von Meth, maybe. Came here to clarify the light-up-the-bar situation. Unlike the unnecessarily elaborate speciality of the house served to Noah (one Flaming Idiot, coming up), the original was a trick pulled at a dive in the bowels of Hollywood called the Firefly. The Firefly's trick was to shut the doors, pour a line of brandy down the rail and light it up, necessitating some head-snatching-back among the sleepier denizens. The place was a hipster-barfly-shady character hangout in the late '80s-early'90s and I and my friends who worked at the Beverly Beat L.A. Weekly used to hang out there all the time, soaking in the atmosphere and gin. I actually got together with my husband of 25 years there on Halloween night, 1988. It was a great place to take New Yorkers who had spent all day bitching about how plastic and unreal Los Angeles was. You want real, motherfucker? I can only imagine some writer had stumbled upon the place and stuck a bastardized version into the script, far too late for it to resonate among people who'd experienced the real thing, of per uzh. Someone please enlighten me--why was Kelly a Bitch About It to Dylan? I honestly don't know.

I love how S-Town this episode got. The Jesse Ray Beaumont stuff pinged so many sensors for me (I JUST finally binged S-Town, so this is all fresh). I listen to a lot fo true crime podcasts and seeing it get parodied was a great relief from the relentless ugliness of it all. Please, please, please let the precious alchemy of this ridiculous show go on! We all need some dumb (and smart) laughs in our lives, now more than ever, etc.

This one hit me hard. It felt as if Issa had reverted 5 years to Awkward Black Girl status, with everything in her life relatively shitty, absolutely unable to say the right things, until she turned out to be the exact person Daniel needed at the exact time he needed her. Also, that characterization of Daniel as a man who sees any success in a peer as a zero-sum game--if X makes it, Y is a loser--was heartbreakingly familiar. I think it's more of a guy thing, but I've experienced it and never quite got why they believe that one book published by a friend means one less book published by you. It's self-defeating and pointless and not true but you can see how much it frustrates Daniel all the same. Great episode. P.S. <shallow> Issa looked like a goddamn goddess in the Wine Down with that braid and that dress, her lips pursed a little as she nodded. Not to get weird, but I've always thought her beauty resided in that smile, which is like the sun coming out, but her serious face in that aftershow was a thing to behold.