Wiendish Fitch

I kind of love that Art Carney won Best Actor over Al Pacino and Jack Nicholson, mainly because I find the latter two utterly overrated. For the record, Harry and Tonto is merely ok, but Carney is very good in it, as is the cat.

It's like people who won't shut the fuck up in movie theaters. Hey, assholes, I didn't pay to hear a bunch of losers like you inanely nattering on, so kindly shut your noisemakers!

Second this. I think Witherspoon's a darn good businesswoman, a darn good actress, and I appreciate the strides she* is making to improve working conditions for girls and women in Hollywood. But if I'm being honest, if I had to spend more than 5 minutes in her company, I'd clock her in her ping pong ball chin. So much of what she says reeks of distinctly Southern passive aggression and undue superiority, and it drives me up the wall. FFS, Reese, women from other parts of the U.S. also wear make-up when they go out and write "thank-you" notes! It's not restricted to the South, stop implying it is! I've lived in the South since I was 7, and, trust me, there are plenty of Southerners who are rude slobs! *Among many, many, many other women, please don't think I'm overlooking them.

SSSSHHHH! Don't give them ideas!!

I've said it before, I'll say it again: I don't care how beloved and successful a sitcom is, I think there should be a 5 or 6 year limit, because too often the characters become embarrassing, unwatchable caricatures of themselves. I've ranted a million times before about how nightmarishly stupid Joey Tribbiani and Eric Matthews became, and I can easily rant a million times more about it!

Okay, fair, there are exceptions to the rule. But in the case of BSC, it premiered not long after Breaking Bad ended, and I'm fairly certain it was always part of Vince Gilligan's plan. It's not as if, decades after the fact, someone got a hair up their butt about telling Saul Goodman's origin story.

As someone who has participated in community theater, I agree 100%. I was lucky, but I had fellow actors wriggle their way out of either their own mistakes or someone else's. I watched a production of the ballet Don Quixote, and a dancer (it may have been the lead) fell on her butt during the curtain call. She immediately got up, and gracefully proceeded as if nothing happened. That's the name of the game in live theater. George Balanchine reportedly loved it when dancers fell onstage, because it meant they weren't holding back.

Once in a while it's a cute idea, but now it feels like a manipulative ploy, to pull "original" ideas out of preexisting stories to trick us into thinking they're being clever.

I am sick to my core of origin stories. They're tedious, unnecessary, and just feel cheap. I don't care about any of the characters' ancestors on Game of Thrones, I don't care about Alfred the butler's backstory, and I certainly don't care how the Pink Ladies got started (sorry to be mean, but why would anyone?!?!)!

Even if Emily was being irrational or unreasonable, she still had my complete sympathy. Ross was an emotionally stunted twit who bungled the relationship, and Emily was acting out of hurt more than anything else.

Chip and Joanna bring to mind the immortal Sondheim lyric "Nice is different than good.". How much do you want to bet that Joanna eats personal assistants for lunch. And, just for the record: HAVING CHILDREN, BE IT 1 OR 1000, DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY MAKE YOU A GOOD PERSON. Write it, tweet it, embroider it on a fucking cushion.

I adore Kacey Musgraves's rendition of Keane's "Somewhere Only We Know" .

It's not as if evil characters aren't entertaining, but it's not as if they can't grow tiresome like any other character. I used to love how over-the-top evil Nandor was on What We Do in the Shadows, but it was balanced by how hilariously incompetent he was, and how his plans would blow up in his face. Now? He's just... a jerk. I mean, he always was, obviously (what do you expect from a conquerer-turned-vampire?), but it's no longer funny, and I now wish Guillermo would just stake him and be done with it! Mr. Burns on The Simpsons also had this effect on me... but I've bitched enough about The Simpsons, so no sense going into detail.

I'll take this a step further: I don't think unlikable or evil characters are always more interesting than characters on the side of good. For example, not only did I think Don Draper was an utter piece of shit, I also found him dull as tombs.

"Why do we even have these?!" "Eh, who knows?" Okay, that made me smile. I think Pixar is already bracing itself for the inevitable nitpicking questions this movie will get. But, hey, Pixar rarely lets me down, so I'll give this one a shot.

I'm telling you, Linklater has gone mad with power since Boyhood. FFS, man, what if you or one of the cast members die in the process of making the damn thing??!

100% agree. It never occurred to them that Bart, the oldest sibling, might deeply resent being looked after by his younger sister? Don't get me wrong, I'm firmly Camp Lisa now and forever, and Bart was completely in the wrong, but sibling relationships are fraught enough as it is, especially at that age. I don't care how good a babysitter Lisa is, I don't care what an irresponsible little monster Bart is (and how theoretically right it might be to have Lisa babysit him), when you upset the sibling dynamic like that, you're just begging for trouble!

I have never, ever, ever hated Bart more than in that episode. I actually cheered out loud when he injured himself. Karma, bitch!* *Full disclosure: I was in middle school when I saw that episode for the first time (and last, because it's so awful it's not worth a rewatch), so my reaction was a little more acceptable back then than if I were to see the episode at my current ripe old age.

Wait a minute, I got it... Angela Bassett just needs to PLAY THE JOKER!

I can't even laugh at Neil Breen, he's so embarrassing. I haven't yet seen What's Love Got to Do with It (1993), but even I agree that Angela Bassett should have won Best Actress over Holly Hunter for The Piano. Don't get me wrong, Holly Hunter is a damn good actress, but I think The Piano is one of the most overrated, ponderous movies ever.

On top of all that, Lydia Tar, certified control freak, has to conduct to a click track, the final dent to her dignity.

RIP, Topol. You were a brilliant actor... and an undercover hottie (seriously, I couldn't take my eyes off him in Flash Gordon). And your Tevye was every bit as good as Zero Mostel's. Yeah, I said it, fight me, Broadway purists!!!

Oh, I relate too much. I constantly worry if I remembered to turn the oven or stove off, or if I locked the front door, or if I mislaid my keys (I always age a year when I think I have).

I've heard delivery people having extremely loud, profanity-laced arguments on their phone while dropping our stuff off. Fun. Anyway, my latest peeve is this noxious, pervasive belief that too many people have these days: they seem to think having opinions is special and heroic, and that they themselves are special and heroic for having them. Calm down, people. There are no "thought police", the First Amendment is alive and well, you can still have opinions. Voice your opinion until you're blue in the lips for all I care. What you must remember is that opinions are not facts. They are not the truth. You aren't saving lives by throwing your two cents at every little thing. I once had some guy lecture me for 20 minutes because I said I liked the Beatles. Now, he has the right to his opinion... but his opinion isn't sacrosanct, and I have the right to think he's a dumb shithead who could have waited until I was out of earshot to crap on my musical taste. See? Opinions!

My God, I hate what Chris Rock has become. No, he was never Mr. Nice Guy, but at least he wasn't this boring, quietly desperate, thin-skinned, posturing, basic hack.