BusyOctober

Oh for the love of Gawd! Carole, SHUT UP about fuckin’ Adam! (and fucking Adam). All of the descriptives and labels about what the stupid relationship is and what it isn’t are exhausting and phony. You had some fun, you got very close then needed space. Then you were each other’s booty call. Now that he found a new person to date, Carole feels she should break up with him. Um, I think Adam already pulled that trigger when he asked another woman out. Carole is the only one who believes the BS she is trying to sell anyway. She was never one of my favorites in this franchise but now I feel stabby when Carole speaks. And WTF with the stupid eggs? She thinks she is so chill, but she is definitely high maintenance. Like Mount Everest high- high maintenance. What the hell happened to Ramona’s hair in that manicure scene? She looked like she woke up on a bench at the bus terminal. Where was the cute bob from last week’s TH? Luann’s convo with Victoria...UGH. “When I married Tom, we were traveling all the time!” & a few minutes later- “We were arguing all the time...” You were married for a nanosecond! How much traveling and arguing were squeezed into an 8 week marriage? Dorinda...oh my. I am sad and embarrassed for you. Dorinda has been my favorite since her first season, despite some of her drunken slur fests. But, oh Dorinda, you didn’t make it nice in Miami. Bethenny should have seen Dorinda’s condition before even walking into the restaurant and shut that shit down fast. I wouldn’t have let her sit at the table and make a fool of herself and my work in front of all those people. I wish Dorinda would see a therapist. I can’t even with Sonja...you can’t go from delusional hoarder to UES townhouse proprietor in a week. She should have hired 1-800-GOTJUNK first, then a contractor, then a professional stager. Her Gray Gardens is a nightmare of a property with a multitude of structural and cosmetic repairs necessary before anyone would move in there! It may have a desirable address, but she would be lucky to rent that heap and be able to make money from it. Anyone paying what the rent must be in that neighborhood would expect working utilities, a working elevator, no peeling plaster. And definitely no clearly visible dog shit on the terrace.

I forgot to mention this exact thing in my earlier rant. She went on and on in the "Woe As MEEEE!" 2-hour special about how "engorged" her breasts were, and how fast her milk came in, how no one could believe what an amazing "producer" she was, and the horrors of mastitis. Then last night when she was recounting her various sacrificial suffering cycle of no sleep, pumping, extended breastfeeding attempts and making bottles, I thought "Well, at least she is producing enough milk." I figured she'd be pumping/freezing milk to relieve her pain and be able to give Ember bottles of breast milk and/or the breast once the baby's suckling issues were addressed. Now she needs donor milk??? What prevented her from pumping and saving whatever amount she could? Was it that she was trying to ONLY do breastfeeding, no bottles? But she explicitly mentioned making bottles. I admit, I have never breastfed, so I am ignorant of breast milk shelf life. Does it not keep past a day or two? Is it possible after all her frustrations and Ember's inability to get the hang of it, Odd's milk production decreased that drastically? I know some "breast is best" advocates are hard core about no formula or bottles, but if a baby is losing weight and not thriving, I would hope the mother would seek out another form of nutrition over letting the baby's health decline!

So now that baby Ember has arrived, the Jerk & Odd storyline will be about how difficult it is to live with a newborn... until she starts teething...or walking.... All of their conversations about preparing for the baby that were set on a permanent loop of "are you ready? are we ready? I don't feel ready! We are getting ready! How do you feel, Babe? Babe, I feel tired!, Hey Babe, do you feel ready?" have now been replaced with "Ugh, I'm so tired from breastfeeding! Babe, breastfeeding is hard! Ember can't latch! Babe, did she latch? Has she latched? Did you pump? Nope, she didn't latch." And what the Hell is with these 2 idiots asking each other if they think Ember's surgery was successful or if she's gaining weight? I don't think Jerk or Odd can operate a calculator but they are qualified to assess neonatal heath? Don't they have a pediatrician? I guess Odd & Jerk thought that since they procreated in Jesus' name and delivered naturally! No drugs!! that their baby would be born without any of those issues that affect non-Jesus lovers. Things like difficulty with feeding & sleep deprivation land on EVERY parents' doorstep as soon as the baby comes home! How did they not anticipate any of this? And, sadly for some poor little babies, surgeries to correct or help with a congenital anomaly is a possibility for hipster doofuses' babies as it is for non- blogging man bun & faux Mother Earth types. Actually, ALL the people on this show repeat themselves incessantly. Amy's repetition is about Chris and how she feels. Matt's is about the damn "Big House" & pumpkin season prepartation. I know this constant rehashing or rephrasing of the exact conversation we just heard is driven by the editing. But if the producers need to prompt these people to keep restating what has been said eleventy-million times in the space of 42 min, then maybe it's time to cut this show to 1/2 hour instead of a 1 hour show. It's obvious none of these Roloffs have enough charisma, or exciting lives if we have to hear "Chris is more awesome than Matt!" or "Amy is mean to me!" over & over & over. The party was nice whether it was all Chris' idea or not. But aside from Amy's friends Lisa & Deb, why do I feel like the rest of the "Guests" were TLC employees & interns? I think it was nice that Matt helped Chris with some party logistics, but I wonder if Matt was invited to the party? In the real world, I'd never expect one ex to invite the other ex (and his new GF) to come to a bday party. But TLC likes to keep pushing Amy & Matt into contentious situations, so they missed an opportunity to make everyone uncomfortable.

On the 2 hour long whine fest about Odd and Jerk’s feelings and fears special where Odd and Jerk labor, push and deliver their baby, Odd said they chose the name “Ember” because they wanted her to ‘be bright’ or a light in the world or some such thing. But isn’t an ember the remains of a dying fire? Way to go, Wordsmiths! What’s with professional photo shoots while on vacation? Did Us or People send a crew on this trip? Is baby Ember handed off to an assistant or another tourist while these two egomaniacs get camera ready?

Sometimes when I read Jerk & Odd's ramblings it seems that English is their second language. They use the vocabulary, grammar and syntax in such jumbled and disjointed ways. It's like they have one of those magnetic poetry kits...verbs, adjectives, nouns and modifiers that are all real words. But depending on how they are strung together, the results are either meaningful or look as if a bunch of chimpanzees got into the kit. Some of their phrasing also reminds me of those scam emails from Nigeria. "I needing you help to saving famous hero African astronaut! Please for you to send my PalPay account monies to be helpful saving person!"

The parents and grandmother of Butch & Sundance were too stupid to breath on their own. Who gives a child access to a safe with thousands of dollars in it? And what parent doesn’t question a child who isn’t of legal age to hold a job when he comes home with tons of cash? I am not sure what kinds of child labor employment opportunities there are in CO, but if a 12 yr old can pull in $1000/wk without mom or dad batting an eye, I can just imagine what kind of salaries these parents are pulling in! Real land of milk and honey out in Colorado I guess. I had other burning questions for these people too... * why was Grandpa’s glass eye in the safe vs. in his head? * are the banks so difficult to get to where they live? * what “clothes” do 12 yr old boys shop for? * how many rounds of “shoot the water gun in the clown’s mouth” and deep fried butter sticks did their stolen loot cover?

That Bendel party was lame. The store itself looked pretty enough- loved the atrium and the fixtures and the architecture. As for the goods offered in the little "party room"...meh. Most of the stuff in there looked like what I have seen in the HomeGoods or Marshalls. I'm sure the price tags were tripled or quintupled for everything, but those makeup bags especially looked decidedly low end to me. And what was that pink faux collar thing Lu had on? Are dickies making a fashion come back? Who needs the top fifth of a sweater wrapped around their neck, and on top of their jacket/coat? Oh Sonja. Those two women who were unlucky enough to be in her path of psychosis...did she even know them? Was she just rambling to strangers? They looked like they were hostages in a bank robbery and scanning the room for escape options. And Tinsley, good thing Carole coached you on how to play it "cute & cool" with Scott. NAILED IT! I love the real estate porn from Bethenny, but I am getting sick of seeing her buy/gut/remodel apartments every season. Also tired of hearing how <<this>> apartment is her "dream" home for her & Brynn...haven't there been several of those already?I know the one she bought when Jason was in the picture had to go b/c of the divorce and bad memories, but what happened to the one she bought after being "homeless" and lived in the hotel? I also don't know why Lu can't find an apartment already!If she can afford it, there shouldn't be a problem. If she can't afford it, then please stop the charade of Lu's real estate shopping scenes. Dorinda, I'm trying to stay on your side, but the public sloppy drunkenness is becoming too frequent. I also am not loving the over-platinum hair and make up this season. Romona looked fabulous with the shorter hair in her TH's! She needs to keep this look up and never go back to her old long hair. She looked younger and fresher IMO.

Nacho's looked like a gaping, open wound. I have seen the Facebook thread mentioned above, and it is very funny. Not only do I think of bedazzled vajayjays when I hear "geode cake", but I just don't get the appeal of them. I guess it is a way to show off technique (carving/crystal work), but they just don't look 'yummy' to me. And that's what I want in a cake. I can admire the beautiful sculpting or the amazing flowers or the realistic looking doo-dads hanging off any of these over the top designer cakes. But at the end of the day, I want to EAT the cake, not put it under glass like an art installation. To partially paraphrase Joey Tribbiani -"Cake? Good! Frosting? Good!"

OMG...Odd's pregnancy saga has been going on f.o.r.e.v.e.r. Every freakin' time she or her dimwit lesser half are on camera they are waxing idiotic about the planning, the lack of planning, their being ready, not being ready, the due date, the natural birth, the nerves, how each is feeling, the fact that it won't be just the 2 of them anymore, the pain, the doubts, the unknown....GAHHHH! Have neither of them ever noticed the world around them? Ever had relatives or friends who successfully gave birth? Ever thought to ask your doctor or your hipster doofus friends with children what ANY of this was like? They are acting as if they just emerged from a bubble and are the first couple to procreate in a world that never witnessed a birth. Yes, every couple is excited and nervous about a baby coming....that's part of the whole experience. It is not unique to the two useless boobs. Nor is going past your due date. Why is Matt is so trying to keep the charade of Jerk the Wonder Contractor going? Everyone knows he screwed the pooch with letting water leak and have mold develop. The work he did on the house is the reason why experienced, licensed contractors had to come back in and rip out everything Jerk did to that kitchen. Why do they keep calling the barn the Wedding Barn? The only events that have been there are your kids' weddings and a Christmas Party for Amy's charity, and now this book signing. They're all Roloff events. There are no brides selecting this venue for their dream wedding. It is a barn. No modifier necessary. If Matt & Caryn were having an affair before the divorce, then I can totally understand Amy's hesitation around Caryn/Matt hosted events. Even if she and Chris are happy & ride off into the sunset together, she can still feel resentment for how she was treated through her marriage. IMO, that's normal for a lot of people, myself included. My negative feelings toward someone from my past are still with me. They never prevented me from moving forward with my life. The pain isn't as intense this many years down the road, but the memory of that pain lingers.

I finally got around to watching this one....HAAAAATTTING “Poppy”. Please don’t make her a permanent character. Jules was one of my least favorite person out of a pretty good cast last season. The unlikeable gene runs strong in this fictitious family. I think the actress is horrible. And introducing her into the plot is all kinds of stupid. Not sure I like the FBI Reject & Retiree Roadtrip plot much either. I will keep hanging on til the end, but I’m not enjoying this show as much as I did last year.

I know! The litigants' earrings were ginormous, but then I was blinded by the gold platter hanging from the ear of the woman in the audience. It looked like she only had one on the right side. It was the size of a salad plate! I think if she had the other one on the other side, she would have required assistance to stand up. Was she picking up signals from the International Space Station with that thing? My general rule of earring wearing is if I can slide the hoop over my foot, past my ankle & calves, then it is too large to be worn hanging off the side of my head.. As for the dueling Baby Mommas...sigh. Betty Friedan & Gloria Steinem must be so proud that the struggle for women's rights has come to this. Illiterate & under-educated women fightin' over a barely employed loser who's only talent seems to be passing his questionable DNA onto another generation. Talk about diminishing returns. When JJ asked (rhetorically) "Someone with YOUR brain is going to raise 3 children??", did anyone else yell at the tv, "No, that's Byrd's & the American tax payers' job!"

Still Team Dorinda! Sonja doesn't listen to calm reasonable voices and she doesn't listen to Dorinda, Tinsley, Romona or Bethenny's loud rants, so why not let the fur fly and yell at the top of their lungs all the reasons Sonja is wrong/delusional. I had to roll my eyes a bit at Bethenney's statement that the group "let's Dorinda getaway with" talking about Richard and how often she brings him up. Um, excuse me? Did we all not have to hear ad nauseum about the pain, torture, woes, financial burden, homelessness, imprisonment Jason & her never-ending divorce caused her? Every scene w/ B over the past few seasons were B-centric with Jason/his stalking/his ruining her life as the main plot point. The tears she shed over how he "tortured" her could fill the pool in her new Hamptons property. Yes, divorce is horrible and can really take emotional and physical (and definitely financial) tolls on those involved. I don't think for a minute any of the divorces in the world didn't hurt the couple in some way. But a death of a spouse has a level of unfinished business that a divorce doesn't. I don't think Dorinda obsessively talks about Richard. When she mentions him, it is in context of the conversation. Unlike Sonja, Dorinda is lamenting or reminiscing about the MAN and his qualities that made her love & marriage so cherished. Sonja is forever bemoaning the STUFF she lost in her divorce. Whether she cheated or not, something caused the Morgan's marriage to come apart. Dorinda's marriage didn't end on those kinds of terms.

Caryn may be a wonderful person; she may good for Matt, she may be good at her job on the Farm, etc. I won't pass judgement on her since I only "know" her from a few clips. However, she kinda bugged me when she was discussing Matt's living on/off the Farm property with him in his office. Caryn said something like "you could build a new house on the property, or you could move off the property or you can stay here with Amy!" as she smirked. Now, Matt as the disgruntled ex is expected to have hard feelings and toss little jabs at or about Amy. But Caryn is NOT. Whether she had unpleasant employee/employer relations with Amy previously or not, Caryn should not be throwing shade about Amy & Matt's marital relationship. Period. Stay out of M & A's divorce issues as much possible. Stay neutral when possible. That said, good for her for bowing out of Matt's flipping scheme. Unless your pockets are very deep, why would you buy a house in foreclosure without seeing the inside??? And word of advice to Matt- if you do go into the flipping biz, do not ask Jerk to do any of the electrical or plumbing or carpentry unless he's supervised by a professional. Did you catch the twitching grimace Jerk made when Amy was telling him about her 6-day bike ride with Chris? He looked so uneasy. I'm so glad Amy went of her trip. Very few first babies come before or on their due dates, so all the repetitive hand wringing was for nothing. Plus, did Jerk & Odd have a "special episode" last year when their baby was born? I swear I saw something about it last year, but I didn't see it, so maybe I dreamed it? Anyway, we will get 2 HOURS of Odd & Jerk's childbirth journey next week. yay. I can't wait to hear for the eleventy billionth time how Odd wants to have natural childbirth, and how much pain she is/was in during labor, and all the sacrificing she has done to be the bestest mom ever. I'm so sick of her agonizing about being "ready". Honestly, most people don't feel 100% 'ready' when they are expecting. Odd seems to think she is the only woman who has felt insecure or scared or unprepared. Also looking forward to Jerk's deer in headlights look as he realizes that 1) he isn't ready to be a father & 2) life is not all about him and his wants anymore.

Does Dr. Phil get a cut from frequent guests or the products they are selling on his show? He had Michelle Knight on again. I am very happy this woman is getting on with her life & found a good guy that makes her feel safe. However, she is forever selling various books or TV shows when she's on this show. My guess is the books must be published out of the same operation as Phil & Robin's. I couldn't look at the anorexic woman. All those bones popping out just freak me out. I know she has a mental issue & I hope she gets help and beats it and gets healthy.

If it were a private chartered plane, I would agree with you. But a plane full of innocent travelers do not need to be subjected to the whining, the crying, the seat kicking, the constant demand for attention...PLUS a baby with an ear infection. Besides, if Ember’s infection clears up, how will all of Odd’s fans know what a long suffering saint she is for traveling with a sick infant? Trust me, Odd will be posting plenty of pouty pictures of herself while Jerk and Ember <<finally>> fall asleep. There will be Instagram posts of how valiantly Odd pumped breast milk while flying at 20,000 ft in the airplane bathroom. And the posed “relaxed” shots of her in some ridiculous wide brimmed straw hat telling us she was able to catch a few winks to re-energize after all she endured.

This has been said before a million times, but for the love of gods! Why do these judges act surprised when the bakers can't meet their definition of "Spring" when the poor bastards are given non-Spring ingredients? Mostly they harp on the colors not reminding them of spring. How many times has Nancy or Lorraine bitched that their plate has something "brown" on it, ergo it is not "Spring-y" enough? Um, when you give the contestants foods like coffee, chocolate, nuts, pumpkin, granola, graham crakers, cereal, cinnamon, anise, corriander, cumin, cola...there really isn't too many color options other than earth-tones to show up. Next they criticize unevenly when the taste facotr comes into play. One-bite Loraine & Nancy with her farmhouse sophisticated tastebuds, nit pick when she CAN't taste the ingredient and then complains when all she CAN taste is the item. Then you thrown in the dumb ass last minute twists instead of letting these folks do what they planned. Once again, these reasons are why this show (and most of Food Network's shows) is the antithesis of everything great and good in the Great British Bakeoff.

So Rachel is Svengali to the point that anyone in her orbit (except Quinn) will fall under her spell? The doctor doing the 180 re. his "Feelings" for Rachel seemed to come from nowhere. Yes, he put the spy cam in her truck, but then they never showed him being increasingly creepy or stalkerish over the season. HE rejected Rachel's attempt to seduce him in one scene and a few days later he's so desparate to have her? Was there a part of his storyline that was cut for 'better' ones? I feel like we never saw him make the transition from doctor with questionable ethics to full on obsessed "Swim Fan". I hope we never see or hear from Serena again. Useless character played by a mediocre actress. The lesson from this show: women are almost as good at being loathsome as men! Quinn screws over anyone in her path because she is laser focused on career over domesticity. Rachel plays mind games with everyone she comes in contact with thanks in part to a whack-a-doo mother. Madison is a dumb slut who will go down on anyone who can move her up the very tempory show biz ladder. Fiona is as much a misogynist as Chet. Serena is a 'success' in the business world, but hey, not really because she is a manless, childless spinster with a side of crazy. All of them use sex for immediate gratification or as a weapon. Yay feminism?

I keep watching this show, but I don’t know why. I like Duff, but haaaaate Nancy, the host, the dumb “twists” and Lorraine in that order. I wasn’t a fan of Bobby Dean but the guy last year wasn’t too bad. This guy is annoying, and his corny style reminds me of the same corn ball “jokes” delivered by the host of AFV (Carlton of Fresh Prince).

First new case I have seen in awhile...uncle suing his PTSD suffering niece with the five-head (and a 20 yr old’s hair-do with a 60 yr old’s face). I know there are many levels of disability that one may collect for, so the defendant’s PTSD may be valid. However, “dream car” aside, should someone taking mood elevating drugs or anti depressants be driving? Or driving small children around town? I am admittedly Old School and I don’t always understand things I see parade across JJ’s stage, so I am truly asking...shouldn’t someone who is 1) deemed by one’s home state DMV capable enough to drive (medicated or not), and 2) seen as responsible enough by family members to care for very young children, be able to work a part time job? And because I grew up in the Jurassic Period, I may not be in tune with this woman’s life philosophy. I was brought up that if I wanted something, I had to earn & save money to pay for it. If my “dream” pack of bubble gum, bike, car, house was currently out of my financial means...I did not beg a relative to get it for me. I did not ask a friend to “borrow me” some money. I did not set up a GoFund Me page. I did not get the item!

As mentioned in the recap (BTW- THANK YOU for bringing these back!), I thought the 180-degree attitude change from Mrs. UpRight & UpTight was too fast. Her sister was put away in an institution for 25 YEARS. She apparently never gave a thought to finding her or learning what happened until one of the sainted nurses of Nonnatus House enlightened her/gave her the idea? Also, as a lifelong resident of the area, she never knew that Lark Hill was an asylum vs. reform school? No one in her neighborhood, school, hair salon, church ever dropped the hammer to let her know what the place really was? And if she was conditioned from childhood that sex is bad, your body is sinful & knowledge of either is sure damnation, I don't think she'd be convinced in a week to flip on her 40+ years of ingrained ideology. As far as the fiction of the episode, I'm glad she found her sister. I'm happy she's releasing some of the strangle hold on her daughter. I like that Val & Lucille took on sex ed and gave the "knowledge is power" speech. The timeline of the Davidson's story was weird too. Smoke & fire damage are no easy fix. All that community "Extreme Tobacconist Makeover" efforts were lovely re. the story line, but not realistic. And, not for nothing, but if I were Mrs. Davidson, I'd reconsider going back to Northern Ireland. The "Troubles" (in Ireland in general & Belfast specifically) were horrific for generations of Irish, but let's be honest...Poplar isn't exactly free of "troubles" for anyone living there either!

Love that Gilfoyle wants Richard to put it on the record that he assisted in the AI setup so when the robots take over, they will treat him better. Fiona and her creator are creepy AF. And I don't care if Fiona finds out how I feel.

I hate Sally. I didn't like her before their hook up, and I really don't like her post hook up. She's petty and an egomaniac, so I guess she's insightful enough to be going after a career where she can use those traits to her benefit. I'd rather see Barry & any other student actor pair up...I don't know their names, but dark haired Lady Macbeth (Janet from "The Good Place") or the girl with the nose ring. I'd even root for the detective & Barry. Anyone BUT Sally. Stephen Root has been one of my favorite character/ tertiary actors for many years. Jimmy James is one of the best characters ever, and of course as Milton from Office Space. He is great a Fuchs. Loved the cell phone alibi scheme. Henry Winkler is doing great too.

Dateline did this story a while ago. This show left out one piece of info that Dateline reported; Marlene’s family loved clowns. The mom and dad had a room in their house covered in clown art and dolls and tchotchkes. Marlene grew up surrounded by those creepy things. And when Dateline interviewed poor Marlene’s elderly mom, she still had the Clown Room all intact, same as it was before her daughter was gunned down by psycho clown lady! I just couldn’t understand why all that clown crap wasn’t tossed out immediately after the murder!

Heather aka H-bomb is killing it! Loved her butchering skills. Also loved that all the teachers thought a volcano was "innovative"...especially for high school kids.

I rewound this so I could show my 11 year old this woman's "chicken arms" because I thought she'd get a kick out of it. My daughter was horrified and freaked out and visibly upset. She yelled at me, "WHY would you show THAT to me??? Do you want me to have nightmares? What is WRONG with you?!?" Parental Fail #30,457 I guess.