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Joey is still making Kelsey jump off a high boat into the water after his last date nearly lost the bottom half of her face in a bottomless sea cave. Just climb off the ladder! They made Kelsey do a voiceover in her green dress with 80s style curly hair. This was not filmed during/after this date. Her hair keeps changing in that voiceover, so they filmed at least 2 if not more different occasions. I guess it could be this next morning—though even the robe voiceovers kept changing the hair! I think she’s the one and got extra takes. She’s happiest and loviest with the curly hair that could be styled by a professional for the final rose ceremony day. Joey is falling in love with Kelsey for a long time! Let’s hope he doesn’t say the same to Daisy, as has somehow become status quo in recent seasons. But geez, now these two are soooo in love that…he might choose Daisy?!? How’s he supposed to have a date with Daisy now?!

Can you imagine breaking your face off and then likely not getting a rose, since Joey seems to be really into Kelsey and Daisy. (I’m behind on the show so my comments won’t line up until I hit enough commercials to FF.) i think Rachel’s fingers match the Joey, we need to talk letter—pink nails, darker skin tone. Unless someone else comes back, Daisy and Kelsey are too pale ETA: Kelsey also has pink nails…and a tan! Lol. I’m still going with Rachel. She was super emotional that whole date.

Joey’s fantasy suites week turns into a nightmare as he receives an ominous missive.

I think viewers are making a bit of a leap here that Emily looooooves one-night stands and is likely a drug-addicted hooker. She has had one-night stands because…no one has ever called her back for a second date! That just makes them one-night stands by default. Maybe in her mind each experience was the beginning of a relationship that wasn’t. I think she’s just gets drunk a lot. I think what would “ruin” her is probably the story Brennan told on the After Party about her being so drunk that she pulled down the shower curtain while he was taking a shower, tried to sexually assault him and smother him to death, which was really just her falling asleep/passing out on top of him trying to cuddle. We heard this weeks ago, but that was recorded long after filming. Emily went on that show trying to throw Brennan under the bus, so he came on the After Show doing the same—here’s the real Emily off camera. Lol. We were posting at the same time. I’m so glad someone else remembers this and agrees with me that this is most likely what Brennan was “protecting her” over.

If you’re reading this at or around 8 pm EST on Saturday, turn on lifetime right now! Movie called “Hunting Housewives” starring Denise Richards and Nene Leakes. Apparently a husband crashes his wife and friends’ private jet so he and his friends can hunt them?!? I don’t know, the hunting didn’t start yet. But this sounds like ridiculous fun camp! ETA: I feel like I need to retract my recommendation. the fact that lifetime movies are bad is what makes them good. But this one is bad bad. The crazy husband is giving the overwrought villain that I’ve come to expect from lifetime. Everyone else I’m starting to wonder if they are also Bravolebrities I just don’t know. You’d never guess Denise used to have an acting career. And, like I said, I expect bad acting from Lifetime!

Wow. The “optics” vs “protection” gender war at the end was wild. How is it possible that every couple had the exact same issue? Or maybe Brennan started with the “protection” and Cam started with the “optics” and everyone else just latched on to whether they needed to accuse their partner with “optics” or defend themselves with “protection.” The way they really amped each other up, getting angrier on their friends’ behalf than the friend was to begin with, I really wonder whether things might have gone a bit more smoothly for any of these couples if they weren’t thrown into the Petri dish with the others. Michael and Chloe were just clinging to each other looking horrified, probably wondering whether this is what they’ll devolve into—but hopefully being spared from it by having their own timeline (and a bit more maturity on their side). Becca, what the hell? You caused me to have an utter self-crisis, but let’s stay married. Austin recoils in shock but then mumbled something indiscernible that I guess was an agreement? Then they go outside and look absolutely miserable. Mere hours later, Becca catches Austin in a lie. There must have been something flirty going on since the moment Austin named his fish after the producer, because Becca said it was an issue all along. If there was nothing romantic, he would have no reason to lie, er, “protect her” (from the truth) about whether she was there. Becca goes off on a tirade, Lauren even prompts her with, “What are you saying, Becca?” Clare says this is the perfect time to take back your decision. Team Optics seems to be winning the battle. But then Becca just slumps. Austin is the one who pipes up in response to Becca that it sounds like their marriage is over then. And Becca is shocked that he’s ending it. Huh?! Becca, are you not listening to yourself? This man has destroyed your self-worth. Why would you want to stay married?! But going back to decision day… My favorite part of the episode was when Brennan was saying a lot of words (at least one-quarter of which was “protect you”) that didn’t actually mean anything, and they just kept cutting to Pastor Cal and Dr Pia’s very confused reaction shots. Then Pastor Cal puts up some praying hands, leans in and says I’m not sure how to phrase this, so you know he’s trying to come up with something very diplomatic, maybe some bible passage… and instead drops, Brennan, that is some BS. I died.

I’m going to need Netflix to give Mama Clay and Mama AD their own spin-off show in which they give people the tough talk, life lessons they need to hear. I really thought after that lunch with Mama AD, things started to click with Clay about how he can’t carry on this trauma that his dad burdened him with. Then when Mama Clay managed to very compassionately express to her ex that Clay needs an apology from him—while subtly implying she just found out he brought that poor young boy cheating with him. I guess it was too little too late for Clay to just to start to work past his childhood issues. But when he was talking to his brother and friends, I was actually hopeful! They were really propping him up about how much he’s grown as a man—and Clay seemed pretty confident that he was ready to be the man that AD deserved. But then dad came in, and it was all over. All of that progress was out the window the second he painted the picture of little Clay literally chasing after dad on the track. The man must have just read a daily affirmations calendar or something and spewed out the whole month of July in a row. I really wonder whether the outcome would have been different if his dad didn’t come in to talk to him.

I thought the most shocking reveal of the episode was that Sutton’s alimony of $300,000 per month was after taxes. I’m too lazy to look up tax brackets of the uber elite in California—and, you know, do math. But let’s just say her alimony is ~$500,000 per month. She could just buy herself a whole new esophagus for $6M a year—first esophageal transplant.

The Four Seasons doesn’t have a reality show. I think it’s a foregone conclusion that 95% of people in the service industry in LA are trying to break into showbiz. That is mactor pizzazz getting a pickle tie to stand out in his audition (not quite an interview) for a job in a (televised) sandwich shop. I didn’t just laugh out loud, I actually guffawed. It would have been funnier if said that in front of her 3’ x 2’ photographs of herself. That being said, I did feel for her. Her tears were very genuine. I think she has to realize Ariana isn’t the person who is going to give her empathy in this situation. Talk to your other friends. (Lala was particularly compassionate this episode.) But I guess “Sheash” (that’s suddenly her nickname?) is hoping Ariana will absolve her and say I know you and Tom were friends even before we were friends and be okay with separate friendships. i don’t think Ariana and Katie are playing this right. I can’t believe we’re 6 episodes in and they’re completely isolated. No one wants to watch you smugly run errands week after week just the two of you. At this point it’s very easy to just lop them off the show. The Ariana good will for being scorned can only last so long—and there has never really been many (any?) Katie stans as far as I can tell from participating on these boards. Speaking of Katie, her date who has never heard of penne would be perfect for that girl who has never had pasta. She was on for several seasons—including up until last year—and yet I can’t even recall her name or anything about her other than never having tried most basic foods. It was a boy name with y ending . Wait! Was her name Charlie, I think?

Okay, before I edited i had written something about the accident and Maria’s mother dying and Maria surviving the accident made her especially daddy’s miracle angel baby, but then I thought wait, Kelsey’s mom is dead and Google told me that Maria’s mom just abandoned her as a child. But, yeah, now I see that I was just mixing up the stories. The accident story was Maria. But her sob story was her mom I thought physically abandoning her but maybe she was just emotionally checked out. It was surprising that mom was there—but not surprising she didn’t talk, I guess, as Maria seemingly wouldn’t need/care to have her “blessing.”

That wasn’t her mother. Her mother left her when Maria was very young This is why she’s especially daddy’s girl. However, it’s interesting how many of us (or at least speaking for myself) didn’t like her day 1 but then gave her the benefit of the doubt when everyone was calling her the devil for just existing. THEN we (I) turned on her again once all of her “natural enemies” were gone and she became her own very worst enemy by how she was acting—she had no one else to play against. So now I think we need to give Sydney and Lea and whomever else the benefit of the doubt Maria likely was manipulative off camera but they just didn’t do a good enough job of providing examples OR (and most likely) the producers/editors wanted to hide some of the crazy and just play up the sexy so when she later couldn’t hide her behavior we’d be more surprised about it. I’ve read articles where Joey had just responded with a “stay tuned” kind of message when asked about the Maria vs half the girls drama, that more about Maria would come out. Joey didn’t come out and say, okay, now I see what everyone meant about you—but he had to have been thinking it.

When we saw that Joey, we need to talk note in that preview, I just assumed it’s about a 70-30 chance it’s Maria because she thinks if only she can explain herself one more time, Joey will understand they’re meant for each other.

Or, maybe it’s when the woman is most likely to have a dramatic reaction? Give her a chance to crack on the tarmac instead of holding herself together until she gets in the car.

Didn’t Maria do this last week, too—pulling him aside right as he’s about to give out roses to gush about her feelings in attempt to make up for her earlier poor showing? I hope he takes her outside to talk and promptly puts her in the car while they’re out there.

Oh, no. Now Maria thinks she won—not knowing he at least also asked the same of Rachel’s dad. This just seems to be the go-to line to disarm the intimidating dads.

I’m guessing Nick is a drummer in a classic rock cover band. The hair, the turquoise jewelry.

Golden Bachelorette casting! Who here has a single dad/grandpa for us to coach and root for?!

Not the kid making that ornament, either! kid: Daisy: Do you think he’s naughty or nice? kid: joey: I think he said nice. kid: I didn’t say that!

Did the producers have a talk with Daisy’s family? I don’t think we’ve ever seen parents that are all pushing their kid to “be vulnerable” and tell the lead what her feelings are. Back to Kelsey, she told her mom she’s falling in love, but she didn’t tell Joey. Now that Daisy and Rachel have upgraded from “falling for you” to “falling in love with you,” will holding back her feelings be detrimental for Kelsey?

And if there’s one thing Hallmark taught us, now the magic of Christmas will make Joey give up his, er, big city tennis career and fall in love with Daisy and buy back her Christmas tree farm so they can spend the rest of their days spreading Christmas joy.

Is Joey asking for a blessing because he knows the answer will be no as an out? He was so diplomatic talking about holding his feelings back to be careful with his words with Kelsey’s family and yet it seems like he’s doing the complete opposite with Rachel’s family.

We’re 2 minutes in and we already have homages to The Godfather and The Princess and the Frog. I know Daisy will give us a good ol Hallmark movie living on a Christmas tree farm.

I’m glad we saw the “jacket fight” and “ceiling-mounted camera fight” because now it gives some context to the “loud music while brushing teeth at Austin’s dad’s house” and “wolf reserve souvenir in a paper bag” fights. When they described those other fights to the experts as marriage-ending everyone was giving them the side eye like this is the stupidest thing we’ve ever heard. But now we see it comes down to Austin looking for any excuse/reason to say Becca is domineering and doesn’t care about his feelings, while Becca is looking for any excuse/reason to say Austin is distant and doesn’t care about her feelings. So suddenly a paper bag, a jacket, or a speaker becomes the symbol of everything about you that I feel hurt about. I feel like they almost can see that it’s not about a jacket and can start opening up about the underlying issue—but then the other will always bring it back to the topic at hand rather than the actual issue. Austin is a distancer and Becca a pursuer. Becca seems to have an anxious attachment style, or Austin is so avoidant that it brings out in her—so she has it now even if she may have been able to be more relaxed and secure in prior relationships. They are just not right for each other because they’re going to continue bringing out the worst in each other unless they can try to understand each other and respect each other’s feelings.

that’s the craziest part of that video clip. I have a masters but now the nurse anethesists (which she is again calling an anesthesiologist) need to get doctorates, so, see, that means we’re doctors! No, they have doctorates; you do not. She is still doubling down on calling herself a doctor and then getting mad about people pointing out that she is not in fact a doctor. Someone who cares about her really needs to sit her down and level with her that she’s only attacking herself here to be mad about being faced with facts about her education level and job title. aside from all that, with this new requirement to have a doctorate, I wonder whether she’s going to lose her distinction now unless she goes back to school? (Thoughts and prayers to any nurse anethesists with a doctorate who have the misfortune of working alongside Annemarie and need to deal with her inferiority complex!) The other crazy thing is saying the constant disrespect of nurses. Absolute bullshit. Four years post COVID every hospital near me still had those big banners and yard signs saying 🌟Healthcare Heroes Work Here🌟 Nurses have become the new military wherein everyone is tripping over themselves to thank nurses for their service.

This was an entire year ago. I think practically to the day?! (Happy Scandovalversary!) so who can recall the exact source when we read countless articles and podcasts and social media posts every day for weeks/ months. But I remember hearing that, too. I think even Scheana maybe said she saw the video from Ariana. I think Scheana said that’s how she found out on the night she was with Raquel taping WWHL and Ariana contacted her—I think by sending her the video—and that’s when the whole altercation went down with Scheana allegedly punching Raquel. (ETA: actually Ariana called Raquel to confront her, and Scheana found out from coming upon that whole crying/yelling mess. But think she mentioned seeing it another time.) And think even Lala was like, oh, I saw the video. It was like they were all amped up from (and kind of braggadocious about) seeing the evidence with their own eyes before launching into a tirade against Sandoval and Raquel. I think even Ariana bragged about saving and sending out the video. And, for sure, in Sandoval telling his side of the story (probably in that Howie Mandel interview), he said that’s how it all got out—Ariana got ahold of that video and even sent it out to people. ETA: I’ve done a bit of googling, and all that I can confirm is that as soon as the news broke last year, Rachel’s lawyer sent letters to the whole cast as a cease and desist with sharing the video. It was confirmed that Ariana sent it to herself from Tom’s phone and alleged that she forwarded to the rest of the cast—or at the very least Scheana, with concerns she sent it to others. This is when Lala has her whole “send it to Darrell” (her lawyer) merch. But I think I made up my everyone admitting to having seen it and just went by what the the letter alleged.