Sofa Sloth

I still maintain there was a breakup after Bali or at least a few big fights. There were so many pointed posts she made at that time and Auj didn't like any of them. Plus there was a lack of squinty selfies with Auj, just self care posts. This is a snapshot for her likes from family. This the most she’s had lately from them (that I can see) at any one time. Usually It’s a combination of these family members and occasionally Janelle and Mitch. Kody and Robyn have all but disappeared from Instagram. Very seldom will she get comments but it’s usually the mothers and Aspyn who do. Never see any likes or comments from Maddie to her and rarely from Mykelti also. She gets a lot less family likes for her arty book and coffee/food posts and more for the squinty selfies.

She is so arrogant to assume she needs a newsletter in the first place, but then to refer to herself as a - community. Ugh. She sure got a healthy dose of self-importance from dear dad and his all knowing leadership of the ‘Kody Brown family’. I try to like her. I really do try to find redeeming qualities in her. She just makes it impossible. (Also side note! Good news to my fellow MLM’ers and buyers, Unwoke COL is releasing a homewares range for the indoor threatening of woke folx! Enjoy this sneak peek of the Unwoke COL Frypan in action and stay tuned for a newsletter actually worth reading).

#becauseoflulqroe ?? #blesseslife ?? ‘Make my morning worth the wait if coffee...’ If coffee what Mykankles? Magically taught you how to spell and proofread your posts? Moron. p.s - Emily is not your friend, she’s making you look enormous.

Want to like these posts 1000 times over. You guys nailed it.

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Absolutely. In fact it’ll be strongly encouraged that my sellers be cranky and intolerant when dealing with customers, as part of my vision for the Unwoke COL brand. I want us to have authenticity, so all my brand ambassadors must use the products themselves and just be a little bit fed-up with life these days. Perfect! @laurakaye you’ll be seller of the year on the Unwoke COL cruise with sales tactics like that! Welcome aboard! You will be at the pointy end of the pyramid as a COL Captain. Please continue to mercilessly recruit your friends and family to fill our many tiers, and read some of our testimonials to help you get underway with your new business. Testimonials I came across unwashed woke folx blocking the sidewalk one day, one was posing in her glaringly white sneakers rudely instructing another girl lugging a huge camera to ‘be sure to feature the gay sneakers and expensive pants she hadn’t taken off all summer’. Luckily, I had my trusty COL extender hose on hand and was able to easily wash those pants for her, whilst also moving her along. Great product! -anonymous Chicago COL

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Exactly. It’s no secret, that a common side effect of children is sleep deprivation. Yes it’s hard, but it’s also hard for millions of women in the world (and millions before you). You won’t die. It’s also your own decision and a privilege to have them, no one wants to hear you whine on social media. She could always phone a friend or (one of her 19 hundred) family members privately to chat and garner sympathy and support, as no one else cares quite frankly.

I’m really thinking she can’t be serious at this point. That black dress and shirt combo is another heinous fail on both the styles and patterns not working together, she really needs someone to walk ahead of her all day warning epilepsy sufferers to look away. That clothing rack is a shocker. Looks like a charity shop. l just don't get Lulahellno shoppers. Why would you want to look pay a premium to support a pyramid scheme and look like a cheap tacky mismatched mess in the process 🤷‍♀️

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Yeeeesss! I’ve posted a similar rant in her thread in the past 😆 she’s the absolute WORST offender for it, to the point I can’t visit their thread anymore as all I want to do is this...

Hid-eee-ous! What is this get up? None of it works. Why is she wearing a heavy scarf with warm-weather looking separates, that all have no cohesion with each other? Did she not learn from Meri’s mixing misadventures, that it doesn’t pay to just throw all your inventory on at once and call it a ‘look’? I’ll give her one compliment (as I’m feeling generous), she’s looking great body wise. Assuming she’s not just utilising the skinny filter these days, she must be ACTUALLY going to the gym for real. Take notes Janelle.

It’d be my pleasure!

Yes! Good idea. 💡 Remove her from your lawn and wash her at the same time. I like it.

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This ones dedicated to you, blow her off your lawn

Ok, challenge accepted. I will do a daily soaking (if you forgive my dreadful photoshop skills). Here’s today’s for you -

No no I know, they are vastly different! was just kidding. I did just genuinely forget what it was he suffered and took an ‘ism’ guess 😆

Brain aneurysm/pulmonary embolism yeah same/same! 😆 I knew it was one of those ‘isms’! (kidding obviously thanks for the correction - late night writing when you should be asleep and medical terminology do not mix 😜)

I’ll give your questions a go, though I’m sure I’ll get some corrections as my memory’s rusty. I believe in Maddie’s senior year of high school a lot was made out of the fact she wanted to go to law school and be a Prosecutor? or Supreme Court judge? or some similar lofty goal. She was class president so I think Janelle especially had big college dreams for her, though Maddie never really seemed that enthused or ambitious about college, I think she just wanted away from the family more than anything. I remember she did a stupid bland speech comparing her school to a pizza at her graduation, it didn’t inspire much confidence in her critical thinking or academic ability IMO. Her husband is her late uncle’s brother in law. They met and fell in love at his funeral apparently (as you do). She was 17? He was 26? There’s a 9 year age gap anyway. She married at 19 and dropped out of college after. He worked at Home Depot I think when he suffered a brain aneurysm? or something and that was the reason they supposedly moved back in with Janelle in Vegas for ‘family support’ afterwards (despite living near all his family at the time and the fact they moved months after his health issue). The move had nothing to do with TLC’s new session that coincided with it; I’m sure the offer to feature her pregnancy and pay them handsomely to home birth in the tub as (otherwise unemployed and fancy free) reality stars was surely just coincidence and not a factor at all 😉

Exactly. A nice scone and a cuppa is a COL thing from way back. How dare she try to claim our snax. Stick to your vegan hotdogs poser, here you can have another soaking for that one!

Yep so that dress (and photo) is hideous on all levels. She looks like she’s wearing a Rose patterned cardboard box 📦🥀

Thank you for bringing this up! Gender reveal parties are my third most hated millennial trend, right after giant bows and fake hipster glasses.

All I see here is bad roots and eyebrows. The dress might even be quite nice and she may look slimmer. I don’t know, can’t even see that 🤷🏼‍♀️ The eye is too drawn by this horror up the top -