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frenchtoast

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Everything posted by frenchtoast

  1. Folks, a reminder: Don't speculate about whether Josh was behind further abuse, whether he was abused, who else might have abused someone else, etc. We've had to remove many posts that have speculated whether he's molested his daughters etc. Please stop wondering, insinuating or posting pictures as if that's an a-ha gotcha moment. We have asked this several times. We are grateful for your understanding and cooperation. Thanks!
  2. We don't need to speculate who ALICE is. We have asked for the speculation about who tipped off the media to be bare minimum. It has the potential to go waaaay off topic. There's plenty of other stuff to talk about. Or, even if there isn't, a break from all this news isn't a bad thing. So please, no speculation or discussion about who may have tipped off In Touch. Thanks.
  3. Folks, we understand that there is harm in minimizing abuse. It is equally as harmful to survivors to tell them what happened to them and how they should react because it is essentially the same thing as disbelieving them. We understand that it seems that the victims are following coached guidelines, but when we start straying into announcements that they're lying etc, it's gone too far. We ask that you be very careful with the words you choose because words and semantics matter in this instance. Glib jokes and somewhat informed speculation can be harmful in this situation. Feelings have understandably run high. Let's all take a deep breath, take a step back, and give the survivors the understanding they deserve.
  4. Well if he's looking for paying work he's out of luck. We're all volunteers so we don't get paid.
  5. We've deleted several posts about the individuals who may have tipped off the media. First, it has no place here. Second, we do not wish for that rabbit hole. People are free to search around on the internet on their own.
  6. Laughing babies, what a miraculous thing to hear about. Thank you!!
  7. Folks, a quick reminder, please don't live chat the interview in this topic. Wait until the interview is over and post in the Part 2 topic. Thanks!
  8. Please folks, no live chatting here while the interview is airing. Thanks!
  9. Folks, a quick reminder, please don't "live chat" tonight's interview in any of the topics. The Part 2 topic will open at 10 PM Eastern and you can post all your thoughts then. We'll delete posts that are live chatty. We don't want to have to lock this topic, but we will if we have to. You all have been wonderful and cooperative, so I'm sure we won't. Thanks!
  10. The second and (hopefully) final interview with the Duggar family, including Jill and Jessa, is tonight at 9:00 PM EST. The topic will be locked until it airs on the East Coast. It is our hope as with the previous Kelly File it will air simultaneously again. In light of the previous interview, we're modifying the guidelines a bit: Please be careful of victim bashing. Their forgiveness, memories and feelings are theirs. No posting legal opinion as fact. This includes whether the report was released illegally/legally and whether what Josh did was a crime or a mistake as it is likely his sisters will call it a mistake. In general please be aware you are posting your opinion and that may differ with others. Avoid stating opinion as fact. No politics talk No bashing of religion DO NOT LECTURE OR ADMONISH YOUR FELLOW POSTERS This interview, and situation, may be a trigger for many of your fellow posters who have shared their stories of abuse. As has been demonstrated since this has been revealed, please continue to show compassion and support when you post and try to be temperate. Thanks on behalf of your exhausted mods, Rhondinella, Bella, bigskygirl, AmandaPanda, aethera, stacey, WendyCR72, photofox, and radishcake.
  11. I know you mean the very best by this, but it's hard to read in that somehow we get to decide who are worthy victims. I believe the snipped that was quoted was in response to Jessa saying she's a victim of the release of documents and media attention and that she's moved on. She's a victim, but not living as a victim. It was how I understood it.
  12. The episode format for the forums is year.month.day. Episode format wasn't used because there wasn't a season/episode so it was mildly screwed up. Easily fixed.
  13. A reminder folks we asked for no more discussion about agenda versus lesbian agenda. Posts will be removed.
  14. I'm...unsure. I didn't hate him on Sleepy Hollow. He did the best he could and I, for the most part, enjoyed him. What he was given wasn't great, but I grew to dislike the character, not his depiction of said character. Personally, I would have preferred to never meet Papa Holmes. I sometimes like characters that are referred to and sometimes have an impact on the story but aren't seen or heard. However, I was very dubious about Kitty and that was successful so I'll keep my mind open and realize that these writers sometimes play the long game. There were hints about Sherlock's relapse all season and it I think it was handled very well.
  15. I know I have also had moments where I have felt like a failure. I think some of it is because parenting is now judged so harshly by complete random strangers. Your barely verbal child is having a typical child temper tantrum? You are a terrible parent. Your kids are fidgety and talk loud? You have failed as a parent. That being said, they did a horrible job with their daughters. I understand wanting to try to handle it, but that is not something most people are equipped to handle. That really bothers me that they only talked about Josh. The sisters have moved on, and I'm glad they have found happiness with their husbands and I'm sorry they are having to relive it. But only talking about Josh just shows how skewed they treat their children.
  16. Just a quick PSA, as it were, RAINN is a good place to go for help for anyone who has been a victim of abuse. This has undoubtedly been a very difficult two weeks for many people.
  17. I've hidden posts that were live chatting the interview. Please don't or we'll have to lock the topic. Wait for the Interview topic to unlock at 10. Thanks!
  18. Thank you Sew Sumi!! I only saw it as 9 PM, but I'm an East Coaster and TV listing are more confusing then they need to be.
  19. There will not be a "live chat" topic for the interview or special. The topics will open once the interview has aired in the Eastern time zone and you can read the reactions to the entire interview there. Live chats are decided on a case by case basis and we felt it would be too difficult to handle for this topic. Also, any live comments in this, the Speculation Topic, will be deleted as off-topic. Please compose your thoughts and wait until the topic is opened.
  20. UPDATED ON JUNE 9, 2015 We’re updating the pinned guidelines as things have settled a little. Discussion Guidelines Don't be a jerk. That's really it but to be specific on some past pain points there are these guidelines (which have been serving us well so far) and we appeal to your better angels to continue to follow them: Don't be gross, there are real people involved. Be respectful of the victims and mindful of fact vs conjecture. Don't speculate about the specific identity of the victims. Yes, we know most of them were his sisters and that's more than enough for us to know. Don't speculate about whether Josh was behind further abuse, whether he was abused, who else might have abused someone else, etc. Don't lecture, scold, or snark on your fellow posters As posting has resumed normal levels, we will start resuming our normal mod activities which include contacting posters with posts that are either not following these guidelines or any that may be inflammatory or problematic.
  21. TTH=TinkerToyHouse, since they supposedly built the house out of a kit. Nike is what the girls said to the boys when a woman was dressed immodestly so they would look at their sneakers instead of at the lady defrauding them. Someone else will have to explain sin in the camp, though I get the feeling it has to do with rumors about Josh and his actions when he was away from the family at something like ALERT.
  22. We understand that this is a delicate subject, and we want to assign blame, but speculating wildly about law enforcement and if they covered it up is unfounded and bound to be problematic. There was an ongoing conversation about it that has been removed as it was getting a bit too heated. Further posts will also be deleted.
  23. Personal stories are fine here. We asked for personal stories, and the responses to them, to be moved here. I would also remind everyone, as I'm sure you all know, that this situation is bringing back painful memories for many, many people. As angry as we are at the perpetrator, let's try to keep our rage to a simmer so as to make everyone feel comfortable. In short, let's not make an already terrible situation that much worse. Restraint never hurt anyone.
  24. I think what GEML was trying to say was that therapy cannot always fix everything. Therapy won't stop a sociopath or psychopath or narcissist. It may help some victims, while others may not feel it helped. It has certainly helped many, many people. I thank Odin for my son's therapist weekly. But because someone feels they don't need therapy to handle abuse they suffered, people should be allowed to feel that way. If I'm putting words in your mouth, GEML, my apologies. It's how I understood what you were saying.
  25. Like Kippy, I've been discussing this my husband as we are parents to a 12 year old boy and a 9 year old girl. What if we found out something like this. We already know he's seen naughty stuff on youtube, we've told him masturbation is normal. Private, but normal. Balance is key. Those pictures are faaaaaaake. In general, he's a kind sensitive kid (whick works against him in 7th grade!). So I posed the hypothetical, what would we do if we found out. First, we'd call his therapist, who is a mandatory reporter. She would get us the information about counseling for the daughter. Then we'd have to sit down with the school. Thankfully, we have a good relationship with his therapist and his teachers. But, I can say, as his mother, I could not banish him from the house. Then again, he would most likely be charged and I would have no choice. But, I could not absent myself from helping him. It would be an incredibly difficult to help both my children, but I would strive to do my best. The hardest thing would be knowing that I couldn't fix it. All of this is to say, I understand why they haven't completely written Josh off. Everything else? Well, that's just beyond the pale enraging. But I can understand not disavowing him entirely when he was 15. Now? As an adult? Hell yeah. But I couldn't do it to my 12 year old. I just couldn't. I also would never, ever, EVER blame my daughter. And I would do everything I could to help her. It would be all around horrible and I hate to think about it.
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