LuvMyShows

I know this is a little off-topic, but how do we get a discussion area for Love at First Flight. I know the show is almost over, but there's still good stuff to discuss, especially with the whole Vegas show debacle with Stephanie and Ryan (and I had really liked them together!).

From the perspective of the jury, here's what I have a hard time with. Battered woman syndrome (BWS) is definitely legit...but...as I understand it, it's for cases where the woman feared for her life at the time of the murder or was so battered/beaten down that she can't take any other action. In this case, it was neither. She had left before, and in her recounting it the first time (not when she was on the stand), she mentioned no coercion whatsoever to take him back. She only mentioned that he acted all sorry and said he loved her, blah, blah, blah, so she decided to go back. She did not describe it like those cases where the abuser basically threatens the runaway victim and everyone there and forcibly takes her back. So it seemed very inconsistent when she was on the stand and said that no matter if she had left, he would have found her and brought her back. This time she decided to leave him, she had already bought the ticket, packed, and ordered a car, so she clearly had the gumption/wherewithal to put everything in place to leave...not one of the victims that feels like they have no other option. Also, a quick internet search showed me that BWS is when a woman is psychologically traumatized to the point that they are incapable of forming rational thoughts. She clearly was capable of forming rational thoughts. And when Benny asked her why she stayed with him, she said "I love him"...she didn't say anything irrational like, "He needed me", or "I'm so worthless no one else would ever have me", which also makes it harder to justify finding her not guilty because again it doesn't fit with the underpinnings of BWS. BWS is such a horrible problem, that I would have thought they would either present a slam-dunk case to make a point (since clearly some of the point of this episode was social justice...nothing wrong with that if they want to), or they would have delved further into the ambiguities to help (the audience) better understand the nuances.

When I had been looking on the website about the three Poconos "resorts", I kept wondering why there were no photos of the exterior, like there are for hotels. Once we arrived at Cove Haven (last year), I figured out why. It looks really run down, and old. However, we had a great time, because neither my husband nor I had ever tried archery (well, maybe long ago in summer camp) or bocce ball, and I hadn't played shuffleboard. We also had fun with basketball and horseshoes. The room was exactly what you'd think from looking at the website, and that was actually fun. From all the comments about this, the one thing that appears to be missing is having the two people actually talk about it! I am not a third-date type of gal, but my now-husband and I talked about the timing, he was willing to be patient, and it all worked out just fine! I get the sense that what is frustrating for Jon, is that Molly talks about wanting more time for things to develop, but she is apparently also not willing to take the baby steps (holding hands while walking around, kissing, making out) that would be needed to build for her to having sex later. I guess now we know that she never intended for any of that to happen, but Jon didn't know that while he was in it.

I was stunned to realize it was Cardi B in Finesse, since I like that song, whereas Bodak Yellow is just atrocious. This appears to confirm what I have suspected all along, that SNL's breaking is fake (with very rare exception). I've never found it funny, especially since it just seems to be a way to salvage a lame skit. These people are professionals, and could easily manage to not laugh if they wanted to. (And I think it was mostly fake in the Carol Burnett show too, although it was at least a little funny then.)

Dr Jessica actually wasn't taking sides or favoring one client over another...she was dealing with her own interaction with Molly, and the fact that Molly had lied to her. There is nothing unprofessional about that. Nor was she undermining her training...in fact, by trying to hold her client accountable, she was living up to her training (for a change, on this show). I like Jephte, but unfortunately he has three strikes against him in the boyfriend/husband department...he doesn't know how to handle anger/frustration in general, he said he had no experience growing up and seeing good relationship role models, and he has said he's never been in a relationship (so he hasn't already had that learning opportunity). It means that much of what he might attribute to unreasonableness on the part of Shawniece (while there might indeed be some), is more than likely just relationship things similar to what would happen with anyone, but he doesn't know that, I had missed the part about the frame with Dr. Pepper and Ryan, so I re-watched that part. As mentioned previously, he definitely missed the point of Dr. Pepper saying that he had a rigid frame of what a wife should be. So his follow-up afterward where he said that Jackie does fit into this frame, only solidified that he is looking at characteristics not the whole person. What it made me picture, is a person standing in a frame, but the frame is too small, so there's parts of an arm sticking out, and a foot, and an ear, and Ryan is running around trying to stick those parts back into the frame. It all reinforces what most of said from the very first episode, when he was Mr. Marriage Platitudes..perfect example of "all hat, no cattle".

OK, just have to jump in with this. "Molly and I" is not correct...universally. It is ONLY correct if the "I' is part of the subject of the sentence, like "Molly and I went to the store". If the "I" is the object instead, then "me" is correct, like "The book is for Molly and me". There is absolutely nothing grammatically wrong with saying, "The book is for me and Molly"; it's just that by convention, we don't put ourselves first. On the other hand, it would be grammatically wrong to say "The book is for Molly and I." The way you know which one to use, is to remove the other person from the sentence. You wouldn't say, "The book is for I"; you would say "The book is for me". So you don't then magically switch from "me" to "I" just because another person was added to the sentence. Likewise, you would say, "I went to the store", so "I" is correct in that case. It's fine to use "me" when it's correct, but for some reason, there's a weird rap against it.

Yes to both of those. Given what we know about Bishop's personality and rational thinking, there is no way she would keep the information from Abby, especially as Abby nears figuring it out, and double especially using the trivial/"cute"/insignificant dismissive shrugs and comments that she has done.

The one that confirmed it for me also was having Donna get into the van to go back to the hotel, but not the parents or her supposedly "best" friends...

Picky insider inaccuracy...they used the term Commissary for the food-court looking place at Joint Base Hanover. But on a military installation, the Commissary is the grocery store. The food court would be in the Exchange (usually referred to as "PX" for Post Exchange). This was doubly confusing to me, because when Abby and Bishop were looking at the screen that showed the location information, this guy's showed at the top as "COM" for Commissary, and there was one right under it that was "EXC" (which I'm assuming was Exchange). But here's what I have a bigger problem with. IIRC, the whole thing that alerted the gang to the fact that there was a problem, was they were looking at a military ID but couldn't find that person in the actual military system. OK, fine. But if that was the case, then how could they also later access computer records of this same person in the military system, that showed what specific location he had been in when he used his ID? And finally, call me cynical, but even though I love me some Gibbs, I cringed inwardly when I saw the description of the episode, and remarked to myself that we'd have to see Gibbs once again as child-whisperer supreme.

I noticed their poor choice of words when they were defending him and said, "He is not a criminal". Um, yeah he is, cause of the other criminal things he did. For the wife, the part that was completely glossed over, was his lying about his parents/names/etc. The wife even said that there hadn't been a need for that lie. That's the part that would be very hard to move on from, and ever trust the person again, because if they could lie about something that made no sense whatsoever to lie about, then what's to stop them from doing it again and again? It actually put me in mind of the "old" Will & Grace (prior to the reboot), where Grace finds out that Harry Connick Jr. (don't remember the husband character's name) cheated on her, and they try to make it work, but she finds that she just can't trust him again and they divorce (actually, a rare depiction of cheating on scripted TV where they don't show that it's all hearts-and-roses-forever when one spouse takes back a cheater).

I flat out can.not.wait until next week's Molly smackdown. They better not be fooling us with editing hijinks, but if it's real, it looks epic!

Keep in mind that there's plenty of people (men especially) who want to stay busy and productive in the workplace, even in their 60s/70s, but don't need/want a high-powered, responsibility-filled executive position. I'm not saying that's the case here, but it sure could be,

Absolutely Kody should have put a stop to it, much earlier, but of course he wouldn't because of the ego boost. However, from watching/listening to Christine re-tell it, it looked like she enjoyed the crap out of playing that role -- the woman who has a man that another woman desires. I was super surprised how weak Meri was in her own depiction -- that when the woman called, she didn't want her talking to Kody, but just meekly handed the phone to Kody anyway, as though she were completely powerless.

It was Paedon who said he hadn't changed a diaper...not sure why he was asked (actually, there's probably a lot of footage that is cut, so maybe more guys were asked this question, and they only showed us Paedon for some reason). Also, if I am not mistaken, Robyn's first marriage was monogamous, so it doesn't give us an example of leaving a plural marriage. I was truly dismayed by how much weight Mykelti had gained, especially because there is no reason to believe that it will suddenly stop. On the other hand, Maddie looked the best I have ever seen...she looked, pretty, bright, clean, and happy. It's odd that Audrey had also gained weight, when Mariah has (had?) lost over the past year or so.

How they got that way is interesting, but what truly interests me is how/when/why people finally arrive at the decision to lose weight (as evidenced by my question a few weeks ago about people's turning points/rock bottom). One of the things I found fascinating about Biggest Loser, is that here were people who a few days prior to coming on the ranch, were finding any and all excuses to not do what they needed to do. But once they got on the ranch, they basically did anything and everything so they could keep doing what they needed to do. It's like they flipped a switch (whether motivated by the $$, or pride, or avoidance of shame, or experiencing success, or whatever), and it makes me wonder about the "why now?" for the My 600-lb Life people.

When polandspring mentioned about Hunter being a drug addict, I assume he was mixing up Buddy and Hunter. With the half-eaten cookie, there is absolutely no way that she was going to throw it away later..,it was half-eaten because the day was not over, let alone her after-9PM feeding frenzy. Although those of us on this forum are genuine when we talk about how Whitney's poor eating and exercise habits could lead to her death, I have absolutely no doubt that there ARE people on SM who tell her those horrible things about how she should kill herself. The problem is that she has once again set up a strawman that the people who comment negatively on her weight are saying these awful things versus the people who are NoBS/HAES and are kind/supportive, so that her view appears more sympathetic by contrast. Conveniently, she completely leaves out the middle ground of people like us who comment on her weight and DON'T think she should kill herself, and in fact, wish that she would do what's needed so that she doesn't end up inadvertently killing herself. And there was speculation earlier in the thread about how Whitney wants a relationship with Buddy but that he doesn't feel the same way, and whether he ever would want something with her....if I am remembering correctly, Buddy and Whitney have hooked up one or two times over the years. And either this season or last, he described her as a "freak between the sheets". I don't think he wants anything to do with her physically in the future, but I'm pretty sure it happened in the past.

So hearing all this talk about how Ryan is the worst, made me think to actually list the top worst. A rule I have to state up front is that we can only rate them from what we saw on the season, and NOT on Second Chances, because we all would probably rate David as #1 or 2. Here's mine: 1. Ryan abuser (the one with the restraining order taken out against him) 2. Ryan fireman 3. Tie between Ryan basement and Nate (matched with Sheila), if it's really true that they had secret girlfriends the whole time. Actually, that should make them #1, but I can't get past the personality defects of the #1 and #2 Ryan 4. Sam, who was matched with Neil 5. Ashley, who was matched with David Favorite people: 1. Jaclyn, matched with Ryan fireman 2. Jason and Cortney together as a couple (especially Jason!) 3. Jaclyn, matched with Ryan basement 4. Ashley and Anthony together as a couple 5. Jon, matched with Molly

Potentially unpopular view here...but why do we need to justify commenting on the weight of any of the women or men? No one has raised an issue of "hair shaming" for all the disparaging we've done of Kody's hair quality/length and Maddie/Mykelti's hair color, for example. Or "beard shaming" for disparaging comments about Caleb's beard. Or "eyebrow shaming" for disparaging comments about Meri's and Mariah's eyebrows Weight is a physical characteristic of the people on the show, that is changeable, as is hair quality/color, facial hair, and eyebrow shape. These people's weights have varied, and we can comment about it here, even saying that we don't think someone looks good at their heavier weight. I don't have to agree that all heavy women/men are or can be attractive, any more than I have to agree that hairy chests on men are or can be attractive, or that big breast enhancements are or can be attractive. The important thing to me is not to go beyond that, and ascribe any other guessed-about characteristics (for example, overly aggressiveness with the hairy chest, laziness with the overweight person, slutty-ness with the breast enhancements). However, if the person actually does have those characteristics, then those characteristics are fair game for mentioning for that person, even if that has the unfortunate result of seeming to confirm a negative stereotype...the key is not to generalize beyond just that person. To do anything differently requires preferential treatment, to NOT be allowed to mention something negative about someone just because it fits a stereotype.

I had noticed the thin ankles too and was very surprised. Although she still was big at the end, I could definitely see that she had lost weight. The biggest positive emotion I saw her have was when Dr Now approved the weight-loss surgery. I would actually think that having the breasts be so pendulous would be much more uncomfortable than rigging up something that keeps them more up. Just brainstorming here because, well, my wind wandered there ....she could sew two towels together, and make something that would let her basically deposit the breasts, then fold the towel over to keep the breasts in place; strong velcro to fasten in the back, and some kind of strong reinforcement of the towel under the breast area.

I followed the link and read the article. She said the following: "The girl in this photo was supremely UNhealthy. This girl struggled with eating disorders — an endless cycle of purging and restriction motivated by the BMI that defined her 5'2" 140-lb body as overweight, peers who mocked her for being fat, and a society that asserted that thinner was always better. The woman I am now is not a before picture; she is not a person driven by weight-loss disguised as 'self-improvement.' The woman I am now is three things: sublimely joyful, grateful, and free." She is using a persuasion technique that can be very convincing if you're not watching for it, called a strawman argument. Basically, she has created the position that the fat, empowered woman who does not care about her weight that she is now, is so much better than the thinner-but-unhealthy-in-many-ways woman that society supposedly dictates to be superior, which she was earlier in her life (the strawman). By falsely making it appear that the only choice is between those two extremes, she can demonize the strawman, and glorify her alternative. However, she has left out the true positive alternative, which would be to find a healthy lifestyle of eating and exercise, that brings her weight down to something that is manageable and gives her dignity and real freedom. Notice also that in her "three things" of the woman that she is now, she does not have healthy, which you would have expected given her initial premise of having been unhealthy. Also, she uses "weight-loss disguised as 'self-improvement'" as another strawman, because she knows that "weight loss as achieving health for a better qualify of life" isn't a mean-old fat-shaming bogeyman phrase, so she can't use it.

I can't with Ryan. That is all.

I understand the appeal of Stefon, and a few of the things he says are cute, but he just doesn't appeal to me overall, and neither do most of the characters that they have Hader play. Aside from the Californians, which I enjoy because the whole premise and all the characters are just inane/insane, the other characters they write for Hader are just too OTT. They seem stereotypical in a not clever/not subtle way, like an average college comedy troupe. And I will never understand the appeal of breaking. Aside from the extremely rare case when a cast member genuinely does something completely different from rehearsal and the true shock/humor causes the others to crack up, the rest of the time it cannot possibly be genuine (in spite of what they say!). These are trained professionals, they've rehearsed the skit at least once and maybe up to 5 times (SWAG guess), and they could easily control themselves. But they know that (most of) the audience will get a kick out of it, and it can 'save' a failing sketch. (And yes, I do believe it was faked on the Carol Burnett Show as well!)

I did not like the Casey character as written, especially with her giving Gibbs such a big hug right when she met him....it's like they were trying to impart some of Abby's characteristics (touchy/feely) onto Casey. Then with Casey being so stand-offish to Abby...I knew immediately it was because of her being in awe, and it didn't seem to be consistent with the way they are painting her character. And I think she would make a terrible replacement for Abby from a reality point of view...just having a degree in forensics would in no way qualify her to run that lab!

The part I thought was weird, was when they met and were sitting on the couch, and Savenia mentioned possible plans of coming to VA, then Dylan said he'd never considered what would happen if they met in real life. WTF? What would have been the point of having the 5-year "relationship"? I understand that there were benefits of the phone communication and companionship, but how do you not think past beyond just what is occurring in your life at that moment?

I disagree that if he had picked Lauren initially, he'd have done a switcheroo like he did with Becca. When he was on that date with Lauren, and had to leave the table after she proclaimed her feelings for him...those are some strong feelings! His "I love you"s were always said differently to Lauren. He allowed his head to win out over his heart by choosing Becca over Lauren, but had he followed his heart in the first place, I don't think he then would have switched to his head. He looked really happy with Lauren on the Kimmel show...I definitely think it's largely due to her superficial resemblance to Emily, but if it works for them, then I wish them well!