Halting Hex

"I told you, Buff, there's nothing to worry about! Willow and Faith are getting along great!" Aly and Eliza at the Cruel Intentions premiere, February 25th, 1999. (Probably right around when they shot Choices. Hmm.)

"And on the tenth day of the tenth month of 1998, the Slayer shall go to the premiere of a sequel she is not in, and she shall bring a friend from work." Reasonably certain we have seen this Sarah/Nick pic before, but now that I learned it is from the premiere party for I Still Know What You Did Last Summer on (as noted) October 10, 1998, I thought I would share. I suppose Sarah went to see her old castmates, but I guess she and Freddy weren't dating yet (they don't get hitched for another three years) or why would she bring Nick? (Not that it was a date, but showing up with another guy spells "mixed message", I'd think.)

Ides of March, 1998, and Sarah is slaying them deader than Julius Caesar, appropriately dressed on the red carpet for the 20th Anniversary re-release of Grease:

I don't recall if we've has this particular S1 promo pic here before: …but even if so, "Slay Gal chillin' in Church" is a theme worth repeating, I say.

Hey, there, 1990s people! Let's spend a day with All My Children star Sarah Michelle Gellar! (Courtesy of Soap Opera Digest, I'm almost certain. Hence this thread.) "I'm always on the phone with my friends!", Sarah tells us. Sarah is a thinker! But she's still shy! She started acting at the young age of four, but now Sarah has a nice set of tits! Er, is all grown up. "Now Sarah is all grown up", that's what we meant. Honest! And Sarah has already won a Daytime Emmy Award! (Unlike certain loser castmates, hehe!) No wonder she's all smiles! Whether walking around town or on her inline skates, Sarah is on a roll! Someday, she may be lured by the bright lights of Hollywood. And while we're sure she would slay them all in LA, for right now, she's all about New York, New York!

I understand that the hair-roller thing is a political statement in Korea, and I don't judge Blue for it. That said, she looked so much better with a more-common hairdo. Not only did Julie have trouble with her dress, but director Tony DuCoin did at least three segments with these weird low angles that emphasized Julie's shoes more than her face. Dude, save the foot-fetish for your own time, okay?

Wow, a whole nine posts. This season is knocking 'em dead…almost literally. As for myself, I legitimately forgot this was airing last night. Not "I want to watch the hockey game (Kings 7, Wild 3! Woohoo!), so I'll record BB and catch it later", I just plain forgot this was on. Riveting stuff, apparently. And this despite the "brilliant" "suspense" about whether Cory would be backdoored. Which Julie spoiled when she opened the show, and which Clayton (Announcer Guy) also spoiled during the recap. If you're not going to even pretend the backdoor isn't happening, why not show the Veto Ceremony on Tuesday? WTF, show? I have more, but I lack the enthusiasm for a long post. I mean, I have until Sunday to finish this. Later.

So apparently TNT gives Charmed the occasional late-afternoon slot to go ahead with the morning ones, and so just before dinner I caught the last half of "Brain Drain", episode 4.07 of that series. Not only is this episode infamous for being rather similar to Normal Again (and thus forcing that ep to be pushed back from its intended 6.08 slot all the way to 6.17), not only is the lead demon played by Alastair Duncan (Collins, This Year's Girl/Who Are You/Sanctuary), but I also spotted Whitney Dylan (Lysette, The Zeppo) in a minor role. BtVS actors were hardly rare on Charmed, but a double-dose is a bit unusual.

Whilst I remain more than willing to attribute any or all of the final 66 episodes to blatant Monkfuckery, I do wonder why the Monks went to all the trouble of rewiring Buffy's brain so that she was in "MUST PROTECT DAWNIE!" mode to the point of leaping off of towers based on nothing but "Summers blood = Key" illogic… …yet are allowing Buffy to pout and gloom at the prospect being reuniited with Precious Dawnie, a mere 147 days down the road. Either Buffy was in a Monk Zone that defied the rules of her previous death (but then she should be all "oh, Dawn, I'm so glad to be back! I missed you so much!") or her death cancelled the previous Monkalicious programming and she is now allowed to value other things beyond Dawn's Shiny Shiny Hair™. But then we wonder why the two deaths are not the same, if there was no Monastic Interference in the Beyond. Hmmm.

Luke Valentine: Most Likely to Make an Apology Video…in the style of Gangsta Rap.

When you can't tell a story properly, a cheap cop-out is manufacturing fake "suspense" The Veto episode has a natural structure that has served this show well since 2002. 1. Recap nominations 2. React to nominations 3. Make plans for Veto 4. Veto players drawn 5. Adjust plans based on draw 6. Veto 7. Strategize about use of Veto/campaign to Veto holder 8. Veto ceremony If you can't make a story out of that (in this case from Cory going "I'm so glad I can trust Jag" to [presumably] Jag backdooring Cory up and Cory in despair), you need to find a new job besides editing. I mean, Dan's Funeral was a Veto episode. (With 8 players in the game, and a double-Veto in play, as it happens.) They had to cut a ton of good shit out of the feeds there, too. (The Sunday night BBAD took us through so much post-Funeral cross-chat and plotting, ending with Dan facedown on the bedroom floor out of "penance" and "regretting" how he "blew up" at Danielle, and Britney trying to cheer him up, telling him that Danielle will forgive him…little knowing that Danielle had already forgiven him and the plan to backdoor Brit out of the House was in motion. Possibly the best thing I have ever seen on this show.) But they took their footage and told their story. Start of episode, Dan is a dead man walking and Britney is running the House. End of episode, "I'm a risen man!" and Britney being red-faced and tear-stained and completely broken. (And I haven't even discussed all the drama and subplots within the Veto comp itself.) DO YOUR DAMN JOB, people. Take us from a-to-b. Delaying the punchline for fake "suspense" means you can't tell your story correctly. Grrr. ************************* With Cory (presumably) back-doored and (almost certainly) evicted 5-0 (unless he not only convinces Cirie/Felicia that he can split up Matt/Jag and he flips Bowie Jane, which I would think unlikely), this will mean that the House has gone 11 damn evictions without anything resembling a competitive vote. (Cirie hung Cameron and Bowie out to dry by not mentioning she had flipped the vote against Red, but that was still 8-2.) Keep this up, and we'll be reaching BB16 levels of "Go with the House" unanimous boredom. "Who flipped?", Fessy? Everyone, every time, in lockstep. The Army drill team would be impressed. Feh. ******************************** It seems that our colorful contestants should have swapped shades. Mr. Utley was so depressed and weepy about Cameron "selling him out" (which didn't actually happen, but all that hair doesn't leave room for a brain, I guess.) that he would have been an appropriate "Blue" and Ms Kim seems so unable to let go of her anger towards Cory (just as she was unwilling to listen to Cameron, previously) that she is clearly seeing Red. Which is a pity, since once Cory hits the bricks to make sweet love to hang with Cam in the Jury House, it would seem logical for the five remaining ladies to unite against Jag and Matt. Instead it appears that Blue and Bowie will compete for the "privilege" of clinging on to the guys, never mind that they're probably taking Cirie or Felicia to the finale. ************ It's probably all for the best that Matt isn't prone to violent fits of temper…but it does rob me of the opportunity to refer to our dominant duo as "Hyde and Sikh". Oh, well. ************ I'm so glad to see Cirie really get into the spirit of Big Brother and embrace her punishment, aren't you? What a good sport! (sour entitled slug, taking the spot of somebody who would enjoy the opportunity…grrrr…) And it was really wonderful to see her trying so hard in the comp, too! (Sour smug entitled slug…GRRRRR…)

Where did all those robes come from, anyhow? Is The Challenge making a pile by selling hoodies and BB wants in on the action?

A couple more Contestant Threads That Aren't titles: America Lopez: America the Reasonably Good-Looking Yes, they reference the song "America the Beautiful" during Zingbot, but let's not over-sell. Blue Kim: Kitty-Kitty FAIL. Paws up! Okay, I shouldn't rib about her game's demise until Blue is actually evicted, but I don't think I am out on too much of a limb here.

As I covered in the episode thread, Albacore is a variety of tuna. Yes, a very lame pun.

"Are", genius. Are. Plural nouns ("days") require plural verbs. Nitpicky? Yeah, but I expect both Cory and production to know better. (It would be particularly annoying if Cory was actually reading off of poorly-prepared cue cards.) ******************* Good point. Jag shouldn't lose his HoH rewards just because of the twist. Perhaps they can give him his pictures and his letter and his food in the DR?

SYNOPSIS: Lyle Gorch faces the existential terror of trying to figure out to go on, since that there Slayer done dusted his darlin' Candy. Q: What is After WIFE! ?

(Not an accurate quote, but surely you don't expect to check the transcripts for this festering pile, right?) So, why is Buffy experiencing an afterlife here that she didn't during Prophecy Girl? What, does it take a certain about of time for the soul to travel to the Great Beyond? Are the trains to delayed? I mean, the Slayer Power was able to realize "Yup, she dead" and zip over to Jamaica and zotz Kendra quickly enough; it seems a bit strange that Buffy's own soul would take longer to reach its mystical destination than a random aspect of it. As "Why is this death different from Buffy's previous death?" explanations go, not exactly a lot on offer.

Congratulations on another term, Mr. Mayor!

Albacore is a type of tuna. That is a very lame pun, and a long way to go for one. Why not go for "The Mustache"? ("Small in size, but big in EVIL!" or similar.) Jared and Cirie have complained about his having large ungainly hands, previously. (I believe when he was failing at the "stack the tiny cans" veto.) No idea where they got "muffin hands", specifically, but it was a running gag. ************************ I cannot tell you how thrilled I was to watch a scene of The Sisturds sitting around congratulating themselves on not being consequential enough to nominate. Cirie didn't even bother to finish the comp. It's as though Kryssi Ridolfi cloned herself. Bleeeagh. And after all that, poor FeFe has to put in more pawn time. My heart, it aches for her. ************************ Not really sure about Jag wanting to eliminate Blue, Cory and Anguilla in the next three weeks, yet leaving the showmance untouched. I get it,"keep the target in the House", but you're only delaying nominating them by one week, and there's no guarantee you'll win HoH again. Bite the bullet, throw Cory and Surinam up there, blame it on Blue and get rid of the comp threat, especially as the next HoH is probably questions. (They do know Cory's been throwing comps, don't they?) This feels like tricky for tricky's sake. ************************* I agree with Bosnia-Hercegovina; I would rather my comic had me as a hero (or at least a villain) than a monster. And I don't get the idea of her comic, either. I originally wrote the she's the least-vampirey of the gang, but perhaps the comic is BB's way of riffing on the shower scene from a few weeks ago and memorializing that Lichtenstein has been doing a rather copious amount of, er, sucking?

Amazing! So glad I saw it. They a great job of seeding all the little details early on and paying them off later, which TZ also excelled at. And if you had told me two hours ago that Mary Tyler Moore sliding down a cascade of walnuts would become a sexual fantasy of mine, I would have looked at you as if you had four eyes. (Good weekend for catching some DVD; he and Tony Randall were the guests on PBS's rerun of The Carol Burnett Show. They had a great sketch about two guys on vacation in Hawai'i, but I can't find it online. Oh, well.)

Probably not enough lead time (apologies for the slacking) but tonight at 11.00 pm MeTV is showing the classic The Dick Van Dyke Show homage/parody of The Twilight Zone (which was still on-air when this aired in 1963), "It May Look Like a Walnut". I've never seen it, but from description I've read in The Twilight Zone Companion, I can't wait to see Rob and Laura Petrie cross over into another dimension… (Of course, Richard Deacon [Mel Cooley] was gearing up for his own Zone guest spot [in "The Brain Center at Whipple's"] later that season.) Enjoy!

The lyrics are in the Veto episode thread, as that was where Zingbot appeared.

My understanding of The Traitors comes solely from their Wikipedia page, but there doesn't appear to be a final vote involved. So the basic fulcrum for BB/Survivor, where you need to a) win votes and either b) convince people you're not a threat or c) comp your way to the end, is entirely missing. (Cirie seems likely to have been great at a), but she could never pull off either b) or c) and thus she never saw Final Tribal.) AFAICT, Traitors only involves tasks, and convincing people you are part of one group, when you might be part of another. More like The Mole without needing to do the sabotage. (Or For Love or Money with more medieval scenery, I suppose.) It doesn't seem to require the skills Cirie failed to show on Survivor. (I could be entirely wrong, though. As noted, I haven't seen a single second of The Traitors. So add an appropriate amount of salt.) And we all know Red would do Drag Race in a heartbeat.

Yawnerific garbage. I FF'd at least half of the episode, once it was clear Cam was as dead as I predicted, just waiting to get to the HoH comp. Which didn't exist, so they filled time with bullshit like Kevin Costner (who wouldn't appear on this show even if you dragged him behind a bull) and "wah-wah, people are whispering!!" Dear Mutt, You knew what the show was when you signed up for it. And while being differently-abled can be a challenge, we have seen you use it to your advantage, both by reading lips, and by noticing when Cory was trying to hide his lips. You don't get to grab the rose and still whine about the thorns. ***************** And then there was f'ng Cirie planning her strategy for next week. First of all, Cirie has no power, and is being dragged to the end, which doesn't really require "strategy", per se. Secondly, planning "next week" is relatively silly until the HoH. Which they could have shown us if they didn't waste this time pushing Cirie's worthless ass. Dear Worthless, You have never reached "the end". You never made a Final Tribal on Survivor. Apparently you recently won a game, but that was a different game with different rules. It's about as relevant here as if you'd won RuPaul's Drag Race. ***************** Cory looked ridiculous in the onesie with the open buttons. I guess it is nice to know that he can't blame the weak "mustache" on all his testosterone being busy manufacturing chest hair, but still. And I recently realized that Cory actually messed up the "Constitution Quiz" Uganda was giving him in bed a few eps back. Cory said the 27th Amendment gave 18 year olds the vote, but that was the 26th. (27th says Congress can't give itself a pay raise, they don't take effect until the next Congress.) Deport him!

Said: "I have to do what's best for my own game." Meaning: "Even though I am HoH, the people who are running the game and barely bother to pretend they're aligned with me have pressured me into backdooring my fellow Outcast, who is the only player in the game who actually has my back." Looking right at you, Bowie Jane. Looking right at you. ************* Said: "I'm working with Aethelred and Bruno, but we haven't settled on a name for the alliance yet." Meaning: "I'm too stupid to realize that Aethelred and Bruno have a Final Two with each other, but our 'Final Three' isn't worth the DR sessions the show barely gives me. Aethelred and Bruno also have similar bogus 'Final Three' agreements with Cornelia and (separately) Dolores, as well as a fake 'Final Four' with the showmance couple, Englebert and Fantasia. (Or ‘Fanglebert', as they call themselves)."