Halting Hex

Yes, that was my point about how Izzy had gotten lucky that her insult had a chance of coming true. Had this been any recent season, she would have been up a creek without a pork chop. Which begs the question, did Izzy somehow know they were doing a 7-person jury? Or did she just not think about whether Jury would (as normal now) be starting with 11 left in the game? Did the DR clue her in, for some reason? No idea. So I shall spare you any further ham-fisted puns, lest you start ribbing me.

Nobody beats the Machine!

So I'm watching people react to viewing Erin Brockovich, and I keep wondering about that smirky defense attorney who tears Erin (Julia Roberts) to pieces on the stand at the start of the film, when she's trying to win a judgement against the guy who drove into her car. Who is this guy? It turns out that's Pat Skipper. Charmed fans may know Pat from the classic "Morality Bites" episode where he tried to have Phoebe (Alyssa Milano) burnt at the stake… …but of course we know him better as Ben's boss from Tough Love. Would not have thought that would be the nicest role, but it goes to show…something.

Izzy is just lucky they are going old-school. When she taunted Cam with "see you soon, Pig!", I was thinking "Nope, Bacon-breath! Cam's made Jury, you won't see him until November!" But even a blind(ed by bitterness) piglet finds a truffle every so often, it appears. Oh well. Nasty title for a contestant thread that won't be? Izzy Gleicher: Blows Hot Air (And plays the flute, too) Best wishes to The Space Cowboy and Miss America, my two current faves. Which I guess means that my Steve Miller Band selection for this post is fairly obvious: Somebody get me a cheeseburger! (Except I hate cheese. Oh, well.)

Yep, I'm still at it. Deal.

Sadly, I cannot find a pic of Harry from Law & Order episode 5.16, "Wannabe" (he looked quite skinny), but here he is from HIMYM as Ted's stepfather, Clint: Clint first appears in ep 2.12, "How Lily Stole Christmas", a wonderful Aly-heavy episode that's about how Ted got into a fight with Lily and called her a word that you can't say on TV. (And which Ted wouldn't say to his kids, so there's an in-story reason for the censorship.) Since this is a Christmas episode, Ted uses "Grinch" in place of the Bad Word. To clue the audience in about the actual Word, there's a scene where Ted is trying to explain the situatIon to his mother, who is concerned Ted's having trouble accepting her new relationship, so she asks "is this about Clint?" Which, to those who knew that "Clint" had been a banned word in media (such as comics*) that use all-capitals (write it and see), explained what Ted really said. (And shame on you, Ted, for that.) *-MCU fans may recall that Hawkeye's civilian identity is "Clint Barton". But for the first four years that he was in the Avengers in the comics, he was only referred to as "Hawkeye", until one day in 1969, writer Roy Thomas decided that this was a silly rule and used a story about the archer revealing his past to the gang as an excuse to christen him CLI N—er, ahem. (And then, feeling extra-cheeky, Thomas had Hawkeye rescue a kidnapped Black Widow [they were romantic in the comics] by grabbing some spare Pym Particles, growing to giant-size, and vanquishing the villain with but a swipe of his finger…illustrated with a "Flick" sound effect, thus using the other word that was banned in all-caps, for pretty much the same reason. And now you know the reason for the name of Reese Witherspoon's character in Election, but we're far enough OT as it is.)

That thing in the middle of her forehead must be a mole, rather than the less-than-godly zit I thought it was. (I still would have had it fixed, though.) One of the benefits of atheism is that if someone makes a good case for being worshipped, I'm a free agent. Just saying. Nice to see she kept in touch (pun) with Son of Sobek's relatives. (Is this Nephew-of-Sobek, then?)

"Why Cirie is popular with much of the Survivor fandom?" is a fine question, and I don't doubt that dizzyd's video goes a long way towards explaining it. (Although I do disagree that the proliferation of idols/advantages in Survivor 34: Game Changedrs was some sort of conspiracy against Cirie, who is the last person Burnett/Probst would want to conspire against. It's true that she was eliminated without a single vote cast against her, because the other five remaining players had all gained immunity. But I just laughed and laughed at that, not because Cirie was eliminated [that's a jumping up and clapping moment], but because her downfall was that she just sat on her Queen Bee ass, expecting that everybody would carry her and cater to her and meanwhile not one nor two nor three nor four but FIVE other players went out and did something to guarantee their safety. Too bad for you, leech! BYEEEEE! I mean, yes, too many idols. But assuming the game would remain static had already bitten Cirie on her Queen Bee butt in her two previous experiences [assuming Final Threes were a permanent fixture in Survivor 16: Fans v. Favorites; assuming an all-veteran cast would be easy to manipulate when they all knew her game in Survivor 20: Heroes and Villains] so IMO she has no cause to complain about being caught complacent for a third consecutive time. What's next, "Coach" Benjamin Wade getting upset that being a deluded egomaniacal dick doesn't win him the money? If it ain't working, you gotta fix it. Coach, btw, has reached the Final Tribal. And he debuted on a season with a Final Two after Cirie just blithely assumed they were extinct.) However…my question was about why houseguests are falling all over themselves to align with her, which is a different issue. Yes, she's skilled at directing votes the way she wants them to go, but since she won't be loyal to you, that's not really a reason to align with her, unless you're sure you can win comps to prevent her skills from being directed at you. (And with backdoors on outgoing HoH's in play, as with Hisam, even that's far from certain.) iMonrey is probably right; it's nothing but people throwing away their games to try and grab some reflected glory. Stupid from a game perspective and embarrassing from a "make $$ by building my SM profile" vantage point…do you really think "Cirie's spear-carrier" is a lucrative brand? You build your name by playing your game, not by being a toady. Go hop in the pond, Matt. (He does swim, after all.) And I don't really think that players need worry production will punish them for going after the returning vets. Danielle Murphree executed a backdoor on Janelle, arguably the most popular player in this game's history, in Week 4 of S14, and got all the way to the live finale. The guests from The Amazing Race did not, in fact, "takeover" BB17; only Jackie made Jury, and just barely at that. The HoH who evicted her (Steve) won the game, in fact.

Or he was kissing ass blindly and got a nice soundbite out of it. Which will be promptly forgotten when she needs to dump him. Also, he looked like a giant tool with the shirt unbuttoned down to his navel to show his shaved chest, with the crucifix on the chain. I've never been a Christian, but I doubt that Jesus considered manscaping one of the primary tenets of the faith. ********************** I know this is just my searing hatred for Cirie speaking, but I honestly don't get why players line up to be her minions. She's not a winner; she's never even reached Final Tribal on Survivor. She's useless in competitions. She doesn't even know how to spell "loyalty". She'll cut anyone, any time. She has no interest in forming any real bonds. Her "strategic" skills are way over-rated. It's been 33 seasons since the 3-2-1 vote (which for all we know, the Survivor producers might have thought up for her). Suckering Ice Cream Eric wasn't her idea (Parv and Natalie, IIRC) and it's not as if that required any brilliance, give how monumentally stupid Eric was. She's beloved in the fandom, but so what? You're an alumnus now, too. You'll get fans of your own. You'll get invited into all the cool parties, trust me. Is it literally only the "Mom" image she projects? So what? I have a mother. (I could certainly use an upgrade [alas, Mom's much nicer younger sister died 37 years ago], but that's beside the point.) Indeed, I don't see anything particularly "motherly" about her. If she's been a source of comfort and support to the HGs, I haven't seen it. Frankly, she seems to be treating Jared like crap, and he's her actual son. She seems to thrive on others' adulation and doesn't give anything back in return. Who needs her? Feh.

It's a pity that she wasn't able to come anywhere near the other times or I have little doubt that she would have "won". But even Queen Cirie knew she was useless.

Back to the show: as we don't have formal recaps here, I suppose I should post the times, for posterity's sake. Jared drops at 1 hour, 17 minutes Cirie lasted 1:22 Izzy, 3:55 Bowie Jane, 8:35 (4:40 between eliminations? Impressive.) Matt, 9:40 Red, 10:08 Cory, 11:10 (a lot of effort considering he was always throwing it!) Blue, 12:44 Jag, 12:50 Mecole, 13:30 And America surrenders at 13:49 Now you know.

True, sometimes they did. But there were still only two possible winners at the end (America is in the lead, but did Aussie beat her time?), so it's not as open as it is now. I assume Jared was going for "ELDONG", as in what he thinks America's male relations call a certain body part. Too bad Jared didn't know there was a space required. (Kidding!) Seriously, it's embarrassing because this isn't a word with a lot of natural anagrams. I might have LONGED for a word like "Garden" where the HGs would try "Danger" and "Ranged" and "Gander" (and Frankie is at home screaming "GRANDE!!"), but this should have taken two tries, maximum. (Unless you have a friend named "Eldon G." or have just dropped acid and are imagining a young horse pleading "No Geld!"…but those seem less likely.)

Episode 11… CIRIE: I set myself up so that I'm covered, front, back, and all sides. The only wrench that could mess this up is if Cameron or Red wins HoH Cam wins HoH Episode 12… Red wins Veto CAM: I don't want to pull the trigger so soon just to pull it. An understandable thought, but they did the same thing with the timed Veto in Week 2 (Spin those records!), and nobody named "Fields" was in that field. I'd think the change is for three reasons: • save time in the episode • If they read all six scores, the Veto winner is evident when the runner-up is announced. ("Reilly, you took 1 minute and 3 seconds. Therefore, Hisam, you have won the Golden Power of Veto!") The old format also made announcing the winner's time awkward, since once we know that Felicia is the winner, we don't much care what her time was, but we still have to hear it. This way, when the host reads "with a time of 58 seconds" we're still in suspense until the host goes "Kirsten, you have won the Golden Power of Veto!" Better flow, IMO. • the old way narrows the field to just the winner and the runner-up. Here we have four HGs still as possibilities at the time of the announcement. (Yes, Jared clearly flopped and Red was the likely winner. But the edit allowed a glimmer of hope for Blue and Mecole, and other comps might legitimately have multiple contenders.) It's true this way allows them to protect contestants …but it also prevents them from mocking contestants they want us to laugh at, so I'm calling that a 50-50. JMO.

Haiku for episode: Ahem In the Contestants thread, I've been posting hypothetical titles for if we still had individual contestant threads, since I had enjoyed making those. Now that Matt has tipped off Cirie to Cam and Red's plans, I have one for him, based on the events of this episode Matt Klotz: He's Deaf to Me! (Not because he didn't hear me talking about how much i dislike Cirie, but because I can't support anyone chooses to be Cirie's lackey. So I made a pun on the phrase "dead to me" Sorry, Matt.) No idea how Jag survives the vote (he's a "threat", ya know!), but I hope he does. No respect for Blue since she didn't try to save herself by exposing Jared as Cirie's son and trying to tempt Cameron into breaking up that pair. I don't care if he's your shomance, you're supposed to be trying to win the $$$. Boo, Blue. (I mean, perhaps this is just cold-hearted game play and she's willing to be the pawn that helps Jag jog back to Omak. But it smells more like resignation and not even considering playing the one card you hold. Boooooo.)

Other Contestant Threads I Won't Make: Hisam Goueli: Doctor, Stripper, Comp Beast, "King". (And also, Toast.) Cory Wurtenberger: A Better Survivor Than His Big Brother Jared Fields: Totally Not Cirie's Son! Honest! Cirie Fields: Record-Setting Survivor Legend! (With a snarky post inside reminding people that Cirie's record is for "Most Times Played Without Ever Reaching Final Tribal", since I dislike Cirie but want to keep the thread title civil. Except there is no thread. My dreams, they are crushed. Ah, well.)

Still pissed I went to the 2015 World Series and all I got (besides the official program, that is) was a printout of my pass. I want cardboard, dang it! (Also still annoyed that Alex Gordon's ball reached the CF seats when all night long, balls that sounded crushed weren't even reaching the track, due to the humidity from the rain. But that's a different issue.)

Jared's possible strategic errors aside, I believe that pro-Cirie voters know that if Cirie's ass needs saving, Jared will save it, and that's what is most important in their eyes. Especially as the four top vote-getters will compete for the power, and Cirie is not a challenge threat. So people who can a) win comps and b) do anything to protect Cirie are likely to get a lot of votes thrown their way. So that's Jared and Izzy and…probably some votes for Felicia, on the theory that at least she'll keep Cameron or Jag or whomever out of the comp. JMO. ***************** While I'm not as yet full-on pulling for Cameron (although there's a certain admiration for anyone who wins the Pressure Cooker and I'll be ecstatic if he listens to Red and backdoors Izzy out of here), I have always had a certain amount of good feeling towards him, simply because he choose "The Space Cowboy" as his nickname. And then I realized that some posters might not have the slightest idea what I'm talking about. Let me remedy that, then: I mean, the song is 54 years old, after all. You want live? We have live. Hey, I'm easy. And let's face it, this beats "Chillbilly" all get-out. (Which amuses me, as I think they were going for the same idea. Cam is just better musically-educated [or at least knows people who are] than his buddy, IMO.) And Stevie Guitar is still picking away, at age 79. Here he is in the Houston area (enemy territory, for a Dallas boy), last month. I need to go catch him, as obviously he can't keep this up forever. (Steve hits The Big Ocho in October.) Unfortunately, he's not coming any closer to me than Greenville (SC), but that's in December, so I have time to figure out the bus routes, I guess. (Pardon the digression.)

It is the ability to cancel an eviction in one of the two weeks after it is awarded. It has been advertised in the house ads for a while now. Since either Jared or Cirie will win it (because it is fan-voted) and neither of them will be in danger of being evicted, it is relatively pointless. However, since FOUR HGs are being fan-voted into the contest, there is a chance that Felecia or Izzy could win it, as well. Not that this would make much difference.

And continuing our jaunt through S2… "Nothing beats the machine, eh, Barn?"

And her son. Really, I am disappointed that none of the HGs have made the simple deduction. Cirie is the big star and CBS is going to protect her. A family member is the best form of protection. Cirie said she only has sons (and if she had a daughter in the house, presumably someone is a big enough Survivor fan to spot that hypothetical lie) and there's only one player here who can be her son. I grant you, I was done with Cirie from her intro segment on Survivor 16, and I did a happy dance when she got so beautifully screwed over in 34, but even allowing for my preferences I can live without Cirie-as-Paul from BB19 and everyone fighting to lick her feet. She can't go fast enough. She won't go before F5, at the earliest, I worry. Ugh. Still, it was lovely to see the Pressure Cooker again. Don't make me wait another 18 years, please. Oh, vomit. I didn't even think of that. And she can save her meatshield, too. Lovely.

So, having now watched my second-ever episode of all the series of this show (because the golf made it impossible to DVR Big Brother and the commercial intrigued me into staying), I think I can safely say this isn't for me. I positively hate the industrial æsthetic (hoodies all the time and of all the greens, they go for military drab? Blecch), TJ does nothing for me (I don't think he's a Probst-sized tool, but Jeffy brings a certain charisma) and the multi-tiered structure of the voting feels too ornate. (Not to mention, whom am I supposed to root for, Josh? Pass.) I hope the fans of the show keep on enjoying it, but I don't see it growing on me. That said…parts of the hour were certainly memorable, because my mind shuddered at how jaw-droppingly stupid these players were. How do you not know the capital of Canada? Croatia, maybe…but Canada??? Has literally nobody there ever watched an NHL game? Or SportsCenter? (It seems that every time the Senators play, the political status of Ottawa [which one can infer from the name "Senators", anyhow] is referenced.) Or, I don't know, looked at a map? I understand that Alyssa could have lost her brains when she lost her lip filler (according to a convo on the Big Brother live feeds last year, Botox Barbie had it pop out while she was doing something with her mouth that we don't need to specify here), but that can't be everybody's excuse. Staggering. The only two questions I didn't have were the dating-app one and Hendrix and his teeth. (Jimmy Page and the violin bow I knew, but I guess I need to rewatch Monterey Pop.) But if I, who hate Coldplay, can still recall that they named an album after the process of getting an erection (and yes, that is what the actual title means) you might think that somebody on a team of SIX could say who won this year's Super Bowl or what is the state slogan of Minnesota, or 1861. Crikey. I weep for America. Wherever its capital is. (Croatia is Zagreb, right?) Have fun, all. (So…Wes has won the show 3x and lost due to knotty problems 4x? But now he's all weepy that, if he loses today, on what is at least his eighth Challenge, he might not get another chance? Dude, at this point I'm fairly sure they have your phone number [and email and socials and probably the GPS route to your house] memorized. Invitation #9 or whatever won't be that hard to wrangle, I wouldn't think. MTV throws juicy appearance fees at him and Bananas, I'd guess And if Weepy Wes is thinking that once he's a father, he won't want to leave home for two months or however long this show takes to film, he can get over himself. I'm fairly sure that once the kid hits the Terrible Twos, Wes will be calling TJ to book another slot, post-hasty. "Sorry, honey! Daddy's gotta win some jack! See ya!" Cry me a river, fella. Sheesh.)

So we're not going to have individual contestant threads this season? Oh, poo. And here I had "Felicia Cannon: Not Just Fodder" loaded and ready to fire. Sic transit gloria pun-di, I suppose.

Too late, hobbit-breath. Too bloody late. Can‘t complain about 99, but I was hoping Bob would come back to host on his 100th (12 December) as he had on his 90th. Now what am I supposed to do that day? Prepare for Taylor Swift's birthday (the next day)? As if I don't spend all year doing that. Sigh. (December 12 was also the birthday of the late great Frank Sinatra, who [objectively speaking] may have been a more legendary entertainer than Bob…but did Sinatra get a BtVS shout-out?)

Still looking lovely, even if she is a 15-time loser. (6 Oscars, 2 Emmy, 7 BAFTA noms…0 wins.) Actually, I heard she did win once…but they gave it to Isla Fisher by mistake.

In the run-up to this season, S24's Daniel Durston decided the time was right to look back and assess his behavior last season. (In his eviction interview last year, he promised Julie that he would do so.) Behold the result. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvQpX1gNw54/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_rid=b84fa674-73d3-44a3-96bb-b524ab16a5cd