Uncle Benzene

My take on Kate/Kellyanne this week is that it was a deliberate (if subtle) reference to how marginalized she's been lately, and how despite that, she's still providing material. Clearly she's been put in timeout by the administration, serving her time and paying her penance and whatnot. And as a result, that one image of her in that dress, in that position on the Oval Office couch, looking at her phone, is pretty much all we've seen of her lately (and we've heard absolutely nothing.) And yet, that one teeny tiny little thing we did get from her over the last two weeks, even though it was just a single still frame image, was still mockable as all hell. Perhaps I'm giving SNL too much credit, but I took it as a deliberate reference to Kellyanne's current... uh... situation. No words, no "here's the latest batshit thing she said this week" or anything, because she hasn't been allowed to say anything lately. All we have is just that one image. And yet, even that is worthy of mention on SNL. Because, much like Trump just can't help but to step on his own dick on a daily basis, we learned this week that Kellyanne doesn't even have to say anything to create an embarrassing moment worthy of lampooning. That's what amused me about it, anyway. I thought it was brilliant, by far the best thing about this week's particularly weak episode. ETA: Also, Father John Misty just absolutely has to be a Jason Sudeikis character, right? I mean, it's the only plausible explanation.

Welp. "Everything Right Is Wrong Again" might very well have been the single most awesome thing that's ever happened on The Walking Dead. So we've got that going for us.

Scott Conant's chest hair, y'all. How much of that you think went in the gnocchi? Oof. The top three buttons are there for a reason, Scott. Who are you, Larry Dallas?

*swoon*

The Luscious Gail Simmons™ in what appeared to be some kind of denim sundress? Yes please, and thank you very much. I'll be in my bunk.

Just poking my head in for a second to say HOLY SHITBALLS was Jessica SMOKIN' at Tribal. Whoa! Where'd that come from?

(Not to get too off-topic here, but...) The problem with that is that any kind of overall numbers are so skewed as to be basically meaningless. For example, take a look at a Walking Dead episode thread right after an episode airs. You could post "OMG RICK NOOOO!" and get 67 "likes" over the next few minutes. Happens every single week. Same is true for a lot of the more popular reality shows. People use "likes" to basically say "ditto" to what amounts to a reaction post. Which is fine, of course, nothing wrong with that, obviously folks are entitled to "like" what they like. I'm just saying "like" stats aren't really an indication of content quality, and are EXTREMELY skewed to right-place-right-time posts in an episode thread right after a show airs and lots of people are excited (or terribly annoyed, and everybody's got their torches and snarkforks.) It's kind of the flip side of Black Mirror's "walking past a stranger on the street and they one-star you because you looked at them wrong, or they don't like your outfit" or whatever.

That was "A Forest" by The Cure on the player piano this week, right? Because if so... noice.

Good lord, Gail. I'll be in my bunk.

It's a shame that Holt had the line of the night, and it was a hall-of-famer, an instant classic, but it was during the New Girl half. For those who didn't watch that half and missed it... "Well, you know what I always say; 'Things happen for a reason. And that reason is random chance.'" Ha! Classic Holt!

He put Connie through basically the same exercise last season. And she nailed it. So, my guess? Pretty simple. Lee misses the hell out of Connie. (And possibly Eddie too.) Can't say I blame him.

Exactly this. I'm trying to think of other specific examples, but right now the only one I can come up with is Willie, who is "Michael's friend" and thus always is on Michael's side and interacts primarily, if not exclusively with Michael. I'm sure there are others, and I do recall "resident young person" Pete being on Michael's side at least once. Anyway, I also think having the "guest" character interacting with only one of the hosts is just to keep the whole bit from being "too busy" or whatever. Anyway, couple other random thoughts... Someone last week mentioned the lack of Vanessa, and this week she did have the campsite sketch, and she was also in the Crucible cast party, but I still think this is two weeks in a row where there's been less Vanessa than I'd have expected (and NEED!) I still hope it's just a blip, but I'm beginning to get a little... I don't know... concerned? Vanessa is freakin' great. What gives? I also agree that Kate is pretty much the clear MVP of the cast at this point. And honestly, I kinda think it's been that way for a while. But it REALLY shows here lately, IMHO. Kate is awesome. I have to admit that I was carrying a bit of a negative bias toward Melissa coming in, because of the tweets. It probably wasn't "fair" but I'll own it. Anyway, two weeks in and I really think she's gonna kick ass on SNL. She kind of already is, actually. Very pleasantly surprised. They really have assembled one hell of a group of ladies. Don't even get me started on Leslie. More Leslie please! And finally... there was a lot of talk about bringing Baldwin in to replace Darrell as Trump because they wanted a skeevier/nastier/angrier portrayal than Darrell's, and I agree, and Baldwin really has nailed the hell out of it twice now. BUT... just an observation here, and I don't think it detracts from it at all, to the contrary, I find it a cute little "feature" and it makes me laugh just a little bit harder... you can really tell just how much Baldwin is enjoying the hell out of doing it. He's having an absolute blast, it's written all over his face even as he's absolutely nailing Trump at his absolute worst. I can't really explain it, but Baldwin's tangible joy while doing this just makes me smile a little wider while watching it. It reminds me a lot of Larry David doing Bernie. You can just tell they absolutely love it. It probably helps a lot that in both cases, I'm pretty sure they both know damn well they're killing, and are consistently right at the top of the list of "best things about the show" every time. Baldwin deserves to be very proud of himself.

Dirty pool, absolutely. Especially given that Kelley really doesn't know what he's even talking about (based on what we've been shown, anyway.) But even regardless of that, he intentionally (IMHO) mischaracterized "the deal with Lauren" so that he could slip that little piece of "information" in there. Not cool, Kelley. Pretty shitty, in fact. And I hope Nico calls him out on it. I'd hate for it to sour what seems to be a really pleasant working relationship between the two of them (and among all the current deckhands, for that matter) but I really don't want Kelley to skate on that. And "girls catch feelings" is particularly rich coming from Cryin' Kelley. It's a shame, because until now, I was really getting the impression that Kelley has gotten his shit together for the most part. And I guess I still do think that, but he sure does still have some really lame attitudes about anything and everything related to dating/relationships/etc. Meantime, I hope we've seen the last of "Freako" but I do respect Nico for being supremely self-aware about it, and I don't think he seems particularly proud of it. Seems to me he realizes that it's one of those aspects of his personality that occasionally seems like a good idea at the time, when he's lubed up and feeling particularly confident, and sometimes the results are positive, but it's just as likely to lead to some spectacular crash-and-burn situations and regrets the next day. Been there, I get it. But he gets points from me for being honest about it. I'm 100% giving Lauren a "pass" (not that she needs one, especially from some guy on the internet) but again, been there. I agree that there was "nothing wrong" with Nico trying to slide up next to Emily, and I also think he'd have been a lot more discreet about it if he had had any inkling about what was in Lauren's head at the time. He's a nice guy, and he clearly respects and really likes Lauren (also, I've got a hunch we haven't nearly seen the end of the Nico/Lauren stuff... I think he's gonna change his mind at some point.) But he didn't know. That doesn't really matter though when you're on the wrong end of that. Perhaps Lauren shouldn't have been blindsided by it, but she clearly was. And in that moment, it's next to impossible to not at the very least be in a bad mood for a while. Which I think is all it really was. And you damn sure don't want to have to sit there and helplessly watch it play out. So, yeah, I get it. I guess it came off as "high school" to some, and I guess I get that too, but hell, isn't Lauren in her mid-20s? I had embarrassingly little chill about stuff like that well into my 30s. And of course, yet again, Ben does what Ben does. Smooths it all over with a non-apology apology while basically letting himself off the hook for his part in the drama. On the other hand, I think a big part of the reason he repeatedly gets away with that is because people just can't help but to instinctively understand that he really didn't, and doesn't, mean to hurt anybody's feelings. He's got a good heart, and genuinely does regret it when his demeanor in the galley rubs someone the wrong way. I just still wish he'd own it though, for once, as opposed to skating past it all the time (except with Kate.) And, just for old time's sake, FUCK YOU TREVOR!

Michael McKean, 1994-95, is the only one I think would fit that description.

As a chef, I think Ben is kind of a mixed bag. Clearly talented, but not a whole lot of hustle. He sure does bitch and moan a lot about how difficult every little thing is, but (and this could very well be a function of being on tee vee and having to get the shot, etc. but...) it strikes me that I never really see him busting his ass all that much in the kitchen. He works at a very leisurely pace. Which is interesting, given that he basically prepares whatever the hell he wants to, "delegates" grunt work at every opportunity to someone else, and usually isn't exactly dealing with the most sophisticated of palates. It shouldn't (and probably isn't, in my opinion) all that difficult to "wow" the people he's usually preparing meals for. Which doesn't mean he doesn't prepare high-end meals, because it sure seems to me that for the most part he does. But high-end doesn't have to mean difficult, and not much Ben does seems to me to be particularly labor-intensive. Which is a talent in and of itself, and I respect that. I'm just saying that to me Ben has a tendency to reeeeeeally play up the actual difficulty of what he does in the kitchen. He's not nearly as lazy as Leon, nor nearly as much of an arrogant pain in the ass, but I've slowly come around to the opinion that they're not as far apart from each other on the spectrum as it might have seemed once upon a time. Twelve courses for six people, right? 72 plates in one sitting. That's a lot, I get it. Not exactly "easy" but not exactly mission impossible either. You're not taking orders, everybody* is getting the same thing, and they're getting what you've decided to prepare for them, and you were given at least a day (more or less, whatever the amount of time was that passed between the pre-charter meeting and service, which seemed to me to be at least a day) to prepare for it. I mean, I don't remember all the courses, but I remember that one of them was a chunk of raw tuna set atop a blender sauce. I bet it was delicious, maybe even mindblowing. But not exactly labor-intensive. Six plates of that is 10 minutes start to finish, max. Without even breaking a sweat. And I've got a hunch that most of the other courses were similarly short on elbow grease. Boo fuckin' hoo, Ben. And as far as the "picky eater" (and by no means am I denying she was, because WOOO BABY, but...) the thing is Ben didn't even have to deal with her, and didn't even try. "Just give her a fuckin Big Salad, and have one of the stews make it, I can't be bothered." Which to me is a major peeve, and a "shit chef" red flag. And I'm not even That Customer... give me ALL THE PORK and whatnot. But dismissing a diner out of hand because they have requests, even if it's nine separate requests based on bullshit dietary fads, treating them as an afterthought, not even attempting to include them while making the slightest attempt to accommodate them, and blowing them off by having a non-chef throw together a salad for them... well, that's just fuckin rude. Ben could have thrown that salad together in 10 minutes. It still would have been rude and dismissive, but at least it would have been prepared by THE CHEF. But much like toast, Ben is above preparing a salad. And then when the salad is shit, it's not THE CHEF'S fault that he couldn't be bothered, because he had oh so much more important things to do and not nearly enough time to do them all, it's the fault of the non-chef who volunteered to help out and the chef said "Meh, fuck it, sure. Go for it. I don't care." But Ben can't resist making a big show of how "This Tuna Is Fucked" and once again someone who was just trying to help ends up in tears. Just like Julia back in the Med. He does the same thing with Kate, repeatedly, but the difference there is that Kate ain't gonna cry, and Ben knows damn well that he can only go so far because Kate will cut a bitch. Anyway, the thing is that I still can't help but to like Ben. But dude really REALLY needs to get the fuck over himself. And, again, maybe the fact that it's a tee vee show is a big part of it. I do have a hunch that both Kate and Ben have tweaked their personalities a bit for the sake of moving the needle. I suspect that the show has established that Kate's niche is "snarky is great, but dial back the mean a bit and be a little nicer about it" while Ben's is "inherently charming is great, but amp up the prickly bitchiness, put a little Leon in it." So maybe that's all it is. I don't know. Lee remains THE BEST. Trevor remained the worst, right to the bitter end. Bye, Felicia. Kelley... oh my... somebody please give me the heads up when it's time for us all to put our hands over our eyes, because it sure does seem like that train is gaining steam and it's only a matter of time. Nip it in the bud, Emily! Nip it!

I completely agree, and I think "in on the joke" is just about as spot-on an assessment of Captain Lee as I've ever heard. Lee is just fantastic. In other news, I am very much looking forward to spending the rest of this season watching Ben frustratedly pursuing Kate, all the while doing his best to downplay the considerable spell that lady has over him. It's gonna be super cute and hilarious. She has always frustrated him so much, and I think that's what he loves about it all. She gives as good as she gets from him, and she absolutely refuses to swoon. Ever. Ben, on the other hand... I honestly think it's taking every ounce of willpower he has to resist the urge to swoon, and I actually think it's been that way for quite a while. He can barely stand it, and I find the whole thing adorable from both sides. Loved that Kate wasted no time at all in getting in her digs at Rocky Dakota. That's some high-quality (and well-deserved) ax-grinding there. Also loved that she pretty much immediately took a shine to Emily. That was refreshing, as opposed to Kate's usual "Give me a reason NOT to hate your guts, then maybe we'll talk" attitude with her stews. Heh. I don't think anybody will ever surpass Dave as my favorite deckhand, but Nico's coming pretty strong out of the gate.

IMHO, that's all Khlyen. He made her in his image. Ain't that the damn truth! As always. Mercy!

"(God, I hope no one reading this who's seen the whole series is thinking, "Oh, you poor bastard.")" Oh, you poor bastard.

More like Food Nitwit Star, amirite?

Welp. I'm crushing on an android. I should have seen this coming.

Well hello there, Zoie Palmer. How you doin'? Mercy. I thought the Nyx/Four sparring was all kinds of hot. And Three is about halfway to Sawyer at this point, no? Seems way more Sawyer than Jayne these days, anyway.

That room makeover was pretty awesome. That huge panorama of the inlet over the bed looked great, and I loved the wood slats and the shade of blue they used for the walls. The bedding looked great too. I was also impressed with the new menu. I agree that this guy seemed a hell of a lot more redeemable than most of the others this season, and it seemed like he was gonna be a bona fide success story for the show. He seemed to have a good attitude, at least in the beginning. He seemed eager to please/improve, as indicated by his running to fetch Gordon a beach towel and his reaction to the criticisms of the former guests, etc. He didn't seem like an asshole or a crazy person. If anything, I'd characterize him as just a slacker, and maybe a bit of a space cadet. Which may have been Gordon's big problem in this case. Seems to me that Gordon put forth more of an effort for this guy than is typical lately, probably because he too thought this guy could really turn it around. But what he was met with was the realization that this guy really is just that much of a slacker, as well as just being hopelessly in over his head. And I suspect that cheeses Gordon off as much or more than anything... a guy who ought to be perfectly capable of running a successful business, but the only thing holding him back is his inexplicable lack of give-a-damn.

MC Gainey! So that last scene was Marc realizing that Shay bugged and was never coming back, right? Yikes.

#AllSuperSensitiveDivaChefFeelingsMatter Ben has always been one of my favorites, but he really is an arrogant prick. At least he has been lately. It's one thing to go to Hannah the next day to (self-servingly) "apologize" for (yet another) relatively minor issue that (yet again) got overblown. At least you're kinda-sorta trying to make peace. But getting back in Julia's face about the croissants this time, when he knew damn well she was upset, wasn't an attempt to make peace. It was an attempt to convince her that he was right and she was wrong, and that she created an issue for him over nothing. And to what end? What good does it do? Other than validate his own superiority and make her feel like shit... again. All the while knowing (because the stews never tire of complaining about it) that she's (they all are) constantly getting the business from the asshole guests on the other end. Given his own pearl-clutching at the guests asking for snacks NOW(!!!) you'd think he'd have some empathy. But even sans empathy, you'd think Ben is big-boy enough to know that you don't approach someone who is upset/emotional solely for the purpose of explaining to them why it's foolish of them to be upset/emotional. No good could come of it. Well, except putting yourself above them, that is. Same thing last week when Julia said "them two" and Ben just HAD to correct her grammar. "What? Oh, those two." As if Ben had no clue what she possibly could have meant when she said "them" instead of "those." It was some pedantic bullshit that served precisely one purpose: putting Ben above the person he happened to be standing next to at the time. It was... what is it the kids say these days?... a microaggression. And I can totally understand how and why Julia has had her fill of it at this point. I like Ben (and I think Julia does too) but he just makes it so hard sometimes. The slightest deviation from his own perfect plan for any given thing throws him into a tizzy. How DARE they want snacks NOW?!? How DARE you ask me to take these already-prepared kebabs back out of the fridge and grill 'em up? I JUST PUT THEM IN THE FRIDGE! Rather than "let's establish a standard nomenclature for the courses" it's "DO NOT USE THE WORD ENTREE!" He complained about being asked to write out his menu, as if that's the world's biggest pain in the ass. He is unwilling to give an inch without scowling or rolling his eyes or blowing things all out of proportion and bitching and moaning about it. And he always expects everyone to come around to the conclusion that Ben is right and everybody else is wrong to even question it. Every time. Even when there's nothing to be gained from pushing it. Meantime, fuck every last bit of these guests. I don't care if their requests are (arguably) for the most part "reasonable". (And I'll argue that many of them aren't.) It doesn't matter if you're raging assholes about it. "Bring the nice one." Not "Julia" but "the nice one." Assholes. Julia says she'll be back in five. "Start the clock ticking!" Assholes. This part might be on editing, but when they started complaining that they hadn't seen anybody in however long... firstly, I got the impression that it wasn't even an hour after breakfast. Julia said she had been cleaning up after their breakfast, which is why she hadn't been back up. Seems perfectly reasonable to me to assume that nobody's wanting snacks (drinks maybe, but snacks?) that soon after breakfast. In fact, I'd think it's perfectly reasonable to assume that the guests would be wanting some quiet time among themselves, without interruption from overbearing service. At least for a little while. And then when she did go up, they couldn't resist being dicks about it. Secondly, EVERYBODY was complaining about wanting drinks. Then when Julia comes up, precisely one person actually asks for a drink. Julia goes down, brings it back. Then another person has a drink request. Then another. Again, maybe editing shenanigans, but it seemed to me like they intentionally sent her down and back up for one. drink. at. a. time. Just because. Sure, you could argue that they should have had a bar set up upstairs, but... really? Right after breakfast? Did anybody ask for that? I'm sure they'd have come up with some reason to complain if the crew HAD done that. I'm sure we all know people who just HAVE to be bitching and moaning about something or other, constantly. That's what these people are. All of 'em. I mean, these people were served an 8/10/12-egg omelette for breakfast, and before the platter is even on the table, somebody chimes in "ONE omelette???" Seriously, fuck you, buddy. Danny cannot be fixed. He's a lost cause. When he was complaining about Bryan & Bobby taking pics (what IS Danny's obsession with Instagram anyway?) and said, and I quote, "It's not fair." I was disappointed and a bit surprised that he didn't actually fold his arms and harrumph. Then maybe roll around on the ground wailing for a bit and stomp his feet. For the love of fuck, Danny. Grow up already. Not at all surprising that the douchier the guests, the more they love Danny. And with aaaaaaall that being said, I have to admit that I still freaking love this here show and I can't wait for it to air every week. I wish there were some form of Below Deck 53 weeks a year.

Welp. I can't imagine a whole lot more incredibly awesome than that. Yes please.