Midnight Cheese

Yes! The other women should roll their eyes at her and let Ramona piss, moan, and cry. Leah and Tins have already picked up dishes they didn’t use. Let Ramona glove up and wash Sonja’s poultry covered dong what the hell am I typing here? - and her broken wine glasses. Too bad, boo hoo Moaner.

I’ve been burned before and I saw the mortifying interaction she had with Michael Che in real time but gulp I love Leah. She’s an amazing addition. I am on pins and needles for next week. Elyse has joined Team Fucked Face 4 Life. However...no lies detected from her or the Tins regarding not a trophy Sonja. The Quest magazine profile seems to have been wiped from the interwebs, but Sonja got herself fired for putting the Ho in hostessing, what she has refashioned as restaurant marketing. She was marketing her sexual availability to the ancient codgers dining there and the wives formed a We Were Here First, Hussy Union and got her tossed on her ass. She is so jealous of Tins it’s beyond language. Love her or not, Tinsley actually grew up in the world Sonja beejed her way into and out of, and no one truly contends her marriage was not a crazy kids in love match. Sonja has no one to blame other than herself for her circumstances and she looks really physically terrible now. She needs rehab and a slap or fifty to her lying face. Dorinda needs therapy, medication, and in-patient rehab. Fookin Hell. Also someone remind her she’s not a Brit. Ramona needs a come to Jesus with a bra fitter at Town Shop. A mess! Speaking of please no one help her clean up next week! I don’t care if it was Leah, dildo in the chicken has the touch of elegance I come to expect from Sonja Morgan of the I Was His Investment Advisor Not His Mistress Morgans. Oh dear.

Ramona’s design choices for her rental are tacky beyond belief. Awful and everything looks cheapitty cheap cheap cheap.

https://pagesix.com/2020/03/31/sonja-morgan-explains-why-she-is-eating-only-soft-food-during-quarantine/ Sonja’s on an extended retreat (how did she finance that?), and clearly planning on not having a healthy bowel movement in the near term. Bird’s gotta fly, fish has got to swim, Sonja’s got to make depressing, irresponsible plans based on some kind of grift.

HOLY SHIT GEOFFREY WON!!!

I like Serena Williams but flame away, she doesn’t understand how clothes are constructed if she’s that wowed over cutouts and thought (clearly thought) Nancy’s were “easy.” Fashion lines and magazine covers and athletic performance outfits notwithstanding.

Victoria’s fabrics look absolutely flame-retardant like my childhood PJ’s from Zayre’s. CHEAP. And she’s a preening, manipulative monster. I found Sergio’s the most beautiful and exquisitely finished in parts. I’d give it to him.

Geoffry’s dress was lovely. I’m so sorry to see Delvin go in place of Icktoria. Leslie Jones is delightful. Brittany makes truly terrible clothes. Without fail. Just, damn!

I also used to like Shannon and that’s totally gone. It’s been interesting reading the range of opinions, and to see Shannon at BravoCon with such a bitter, entitled, delusional perspective months after filming, not a good look. I think a couple of posters caught onto Shannon’s entitlement and self-victimizing from the jump- I didn’t! She didn’t orchestrate Naked Wasted or Kill All Cancer but she’s not a good person, and is weak and sniveling to boot. Bah.

This may be obscure but I think Karl and his son Hall Marx started Hallmarks, Inc., putting pithy sayings on cards. They got jealous and inspired by the runaway success of Hegel’s “Live Laugh Love” line.

Yup. I don’t feel one bit sorry for Shannon. My best guess is she’s a liar by omission on her best days; it goes with her passive-aggressive tendencies and follower weakness. She will insinuate, IMO, that her slimness is mostly attributable to her frozen meals and hard work when it simply isn’t so. She’s such a disappointment. As ever I know I should be ashamed and I know she’s a mess but go, Kelly, go. What isn’t a mess is the joy you posters give me. Happy Merry to you all!

I just watched a Real Sports episode on this phenomenon. People in Em’s generation and younger have experienced a sea change of orthopedic crises arising in younger people because of specializing in sports and physical activities when young, somewhat ironically during the same general period when obesity became an epidemic in this country. The kind of hyper focus that some kids have to get good enough in a physical discipline to make school teams can lead to catastrophic orthopedic problems at younger and younger ages. Add in genetics and minimal parental supervision, and you can develop problems with a quickness. I wish her and everyone here dealing with replacement surgeries the absolute best. Lemme shift gears. Tamra deserves to have big legal bills. The suit may have been unwarranted but until it was tossed, she had to retain someone, FOR ONCE, after a decade-plus of maliciously smearing people publicly. Too bad, Satan’s thot! Kelly didn’t make your self-created problem any worse, and that’s the truth. And also, shut up Shannon.

I know it could shift over time but perhaps due to disappointment over my perception of her potential, I’m most disgusted by Shannon. If we can keep it real, she had a gilded, external stressor-free life until her own neurotic myopia increased strain within her marriage. I’m not in favor of her husband betraying her but she is an absolute ass-ache, too fcking passive-aggressive for words, and very attracted to being a victim. I thought she had some charm but now I see Shannon as very hypocritical and willfully dishonest. Because I think she elects to act that way, I’m much more disappointed in Shannon than Tamrat and Icki, both of whom are irredeemable monsters. They should all get canned, they’re boring, their histrionics are boring, and I’m sick of seeing Tamra’s fused tits, Shannon’s wrinkled fake pipe-cleaner nose and earthworm lips trying to form the world’s fakest smile, and Vicki’s Every Day is Halloween impersonation of Hannibal Lecter hiding atop an elevator under someone’s else’s sheared face. Kelly’s showed humor and sensitivity in between explosions throughout her seasons. It’s enough for me. She made an awful moment ok bringing up JFK Jr to Shane. Adios for now. Adios, Vicki’s back rolls. Adios, Vicki! (that last part was my Steve imitation. Was it good?)

Kelly was lovely. She has a hell of a lot more to her than most on this show, sorry not sorry.

The conversation about aging and elective surgeries is interesting. They all look odd to me, but Kelly has the benefit of having a more genuinely curvy look, thicker and better skin, than anyone else, so its not so extreme. Shannon is a mess IMO, besides her creepy nose, she’s got Chicklet teefs. Her aesthetic choices, along with her pathetic and presumably feigned pig-ignorance to fit in with obvious trash who attended school in order to bully like Tamra and Vicki make Shan’s cotillion-packed childhood and sadsack USC brags (lulz) seem ever more like a waste. It’s a pity and not at all surprising. Won’t ever happen but wouldn’t it be cool if the show survived long enough to cast a gorgeous woman who was legitimately about that healthy Cali lifestyle but in a genuine way? Actual gray hair and a body honed only by exercise and a face altered only by makeup would be a mother loving revolution on this franchise in particular! Like, surfs, jogs, yoga, an actual plant-based diet unlike Shannon’s idiot’s variants on same? We’ve only seen the absolute opposite. All the fools who join RHOOC and claim “health” are obviously stuffed full of silicone and self-pickling - and they are all ugly as hell. I mean especially the “healthy” ones -every inch of Peggy Tanous, the mutilations of Braunwyn and Tamra’s chest surgeries, the heap of cheap crap plopped on Shan’s head and her puffed creepy face, and of course the girlie Michael Myers, Vicki. Of course, at least Vicki doesn’t engage in the pretense of valuing good health, good conduct, or anything else that can’t be put on credit in a strip mall. I think that’s the nicest thing one can say about her. PLEASE LET VICKI GET HER HAUGHTY FLUBBER-FILLED SELF FIRED PLEAAASE. The preview with her oink-shrieking “get off my show!” made me want this so much.

Sing it louder for the cheap seats, Dawn. It beggars belief that Vicki the sow wasn’t in on this scam. It ignores everything on the show: you didn’t have to read extra material or whatever other bs to connect the gd dots. She tried to monetize her scamming (the funt probably has a few boxes of her Kill All Cancer bracelets behind her mossy grotto). She is a liar. She is deeply racist, sexist, and homophobic, and shamed other women for things she’s certainly done, piggish vows-mean-nothing sack of trash. I truly don’t see how she’s not viewed as worst of the worst, excepting the naked wasted-spurring Tamra. If her stupid, blinkered, twunty crap at devil Andy finally pisses him off to where Vicki loses this gig forever...Oh, Santa. I’ve been good! Let it be televised! Party at Kelly’s!

Brawny’s tramp stamp has all the subtlety of Ben Affleck’s back tat, which I must assume he consented to while wasted. (google it kids!) I agree you don’t even think of discussing elements of our appearance we were born with, but the aesthetic choices of the Orange County meat puppets? Yeah, I’m here for that.

I don’t think it’s Kelly-love for those who post “I don’t get it” - it’s just denying televised objective reality to act as if Kelly has not been filmed multiple times in a minor shame spiral at her own lack of self-control. She has some awareness. It has changed nothing, obviously, in terms of her behavior but for some her repeated attempts to honestly address her own explosive temper is a good thing, for others, not, because she should do more than recognize it for her kid, and that divergence of opinion should be all good. I would put Jolie up there with the best kids we’ve seen on any reality show. She radiates “good kid” to me. Shannon’s 70s or 80s era nose job is a minor surgical mutilation given Tamra’s heinous rack and belly and Vicki’s everything but it’s aging horribly. I loved Emily’s line and Imma let you finish, counselor, but I am totally going to talk forever about how Vicki’s head looked like a Rick Baker project when she got her hair wet. She is monstrous looking and she paid for the privilege. She looks like there are many multiples of things wrong with her, like science experiment by Victor Frankenstein wrong. It’s so far beyond she ain’t got no alibi. She would be so lucky to look like a feral hog.

I hope someone* punches Vicki’s face in, for real, and evades any punishment for that public service. * not you, Kelly. All of these women are horrible excepting Emily and Kelly, no I’m not kidding; they are each flawed but not core-rotten people. Braunwyn is creepy and fake but even she may not be at the Shannon/Tamra/Vicki/Gina level. I hope Gina’s manipulations about her marriage harm her and her money, the grubby little liar, as they should, and that spoiled joyless whiner Shannon gets cheated on again, and that Cu-t Fitness fails and makes Eddie and Tamra lose their house, and I couldn’t mean it more.

Everyone looked like HELL in this episode. Gina lied more times than I can count, Satan’s concubine aka Tamra was particularly rat-like this ep and her TH with the silvery shirt cut to her navel looks like a bun-based baking catastrophe, where overlooked dough is melting (into silicone...) I'm sick of the cult of St. Brianna. It’s great she separated from her momster but her husband is dreadful and B has a mawkish, meh, whiny barf of a personality. Team Kelly and I don’t even like her. And shut up Shannon.

Tamra is the worst parent any of these shows have ever had. She’s an absolute sociopath. No exaggeration, I felt physically ill watching her dry-cry during Ryan’s therapy. She’s an utter monster, same cloth as notable violent predators. Chilling. I hope her daughter maintains silence and the other children follow suit but I know since she’s destroyed Ryan and coddled Spencer as her Good Boy, her male children are lost. Kelly is a mess and hugely inappropriate with Jolie but I’ve no doubt at all that she loves her deeply. More Archie. What a dreadful damned show. When one of the lighter moments is Braunwynn prancing in her still-got-it shorts to get attention during her kid’s orientation, you know you should rethink watching.

I hope you are all confident that I know the definition of “stalker,” but still: in terms of the fundamental dynamic Jackie introduces, she’s just a creepy, pathetic Staub. Jackie voluntarily decided she’s an exurban Nora Ephron so everything’s copy, including her tragic eating disorder that she’s making with quavering jawline bravery a two-season storyline. And she’ll top Tre’s stupidity in terms of Tre’s envy and hatred of Melissa by....hating her own biological sister and trying to humiliate her! Yay, Jackie! And she’s definitely flexing that Smart Housewife (errrrm okay) muscle by peacing out on a play date because she couldn’t handle freaking Jennifer. I mean, okay. She isn’t better than anyone and I cannot with someone who is almost visibly peeing herself as she pretends she’s down for a confrontation. Nor can I stand a woman who put her party look together. Tre can be awful most of the time. And Jackie seems pretty facking pressed over her. So the obvious conclusion is yay Jackie! She’ll bring the show to the kind of class demonstrated by Easter Island head Jacqueline and the ham game moron Manzos! I hate a Housewife who thinks she’s better than anyone, and who uses her own family against their will. I hate Teresa but I hate Jackie and her inaccurate high self-regard way more. She’s an arrogant, pity-seeking, pathetic ugly pig. Wait, that’s mean to pigs. She’s a totally Jersey Jackie, much like the Easter Island statue shouldabeenhernamesake. Jackie and Melissa think, we are smarter than Tre! We haven’t been exposed as fraudsters (though, let’s see where Melissa’s signature has been on certain loan applications...) They are more pissed than a screamingly incoherent Teresa in an ugly fur that their pathetic little columns, “hot fashion boutiques,” marital advice books and storylines are limp and uninteresting. And that shit is on them and them alone. They scratched their way to this greasy platform and haven’t made significant scratch off of it. Their contempt is for Teresa but also for the viewers, original and remaining. It’s illogical and no fair! kinds of self-victimization with those two. Teresa Teresa Teresa!

Eh, she isn’t “getting old,” any more than you or me or Andy Cohen or the only appealing thing about Andy, Wacha the pup, or anyone or thing else on this big spinning marble...and I suppose since Kelly is free with the smack talk, it’s unsurprising she draws a contrast between herself and Vicki, who looks like Hannibal Lecter hiding out under someone else’s face atop an elevator. That “previously” with truffle hunter’s birthday had me scared. To keep it shallow, I also thought Emily looked so much better than the stereotypically “hot” Braunwynn. Emily is quite beautiful. If she likes herself thinner then I love it, but she is lovely now. Is it possible Shane has a sensibility that isn’t just 100% littledick fuckface, and it’s just that television isn’t his medium? Because the bread bullshit was just too much. I cannot imagine my husband saying any one of the series of statements Shane said.

I don’t believe that Braunwynn relocated cross-country so just one of her brood could go to a charter school. Make it make sense, it doesn’t. Make a “charter you donate to, where you and your husband sit on the board immediately after a move,” make sense, it really doesn’t. Make Mr. Braunwynn’s income to support that family make sense based on his Classic OC Househusband’s business site. It doesn’t. There is poor formatting on the first page; it reeks of Micah Tanous’s professionalism; you’re not housing, feeding, and vacationing as a family of 9 in a high COL area based on this bullshit. It makes no sense. https://www.channelstars.com/ Look at the picture of the Halloween costumes posted by KFB. It’s all really off, and I am not one for fancy, expensive costumes at all, especially as they have a whole gang of kids. But it all seems junky, a little desperate, fake. Think of the house scenes. Their house isn’t as spare and loveless and hopeless as Gina’s but it feels really off. Something’s wrong there. There’s a level of fake this season which is depressingly OC with everyone but Emily and Kelly... and they present in a fake way, too.

I haven’t read the source material and think the show is excellent, challenging, and impeccably acted by Regina King in particular. This is just rank speculation but I wonder if Angela has an enemy of sorts closer in: Calvin (name is close to Kavalry; when she was nearly killed, Angela just said Cal, Kal, Cal, to her would-be (Judd?) assasin.) Anyway: Calvin is perfect, perfectly sexy and supportive, happy to let his incredible wife take the lead, tell him what to do, tell him if he’s safe. His perfect ghost costume to entertain the adopted white children he loves against their racist relative who has visitation rights, was homemade in a perfect Dad way, but damn if it didn’t look close to Judd’s secret Klan/Kavalry ensemble. Maybe Angela’s long-lost grandfather is getting to the scene just in time.