Midnight Cheese

Sonja’s such a loser. She’s not compelling or cute enough to carry off her Wealthy Twat shtick, or her I Love My Gays! shtick. Also, the Cool Sculpting didn’t take, eh? Pity. She should add more purchased hair to keep the eye moving. I genuinely pity her kid.

Girl. Marry me. I couldn’t love your posts any more so let’s make it legal.

I was shocked at how she left the room. Barb! I was rooting for you! I’m GLAD Ramona is stuffing her FUPA into shiny clothes and having struggle dates. She deserves the embarrassment and dissatisfaction. She was an absolute cruel twunt to Tinsley about makeup, looking young/old. And I have HD here, too, and Ramona’s skin looks like it’s been lasered into oblivion, so she needs to shut it. I’m glad she’s roaming and having bad dates with worse men, and trying to win back a husband who cheated on her for years. Well deserved, Ramona. Maybe in the next life, you won’t be such an awful human being.

So maybe Bethenny is no longer close with Dennis’s daughter aka B’s backup against the (totally accurate) charge that she, B, was sleeping with a very married Dennis? Beth was all EXCUSE ME JUDGE ANDY COHEN THE DEFENSE CALLS DENNIS’S DAUGHTER! after LuAnn lashed back during a reunion, when Beth was, I believe, defending her prior “grand mal shitshow (TM a total genius in the main show thread)” in the Bezerkshires? Because fuck me, that is messed up. I can’t imagine. I am not particularly Hallmarky when you get down to my marrow, but if some goddamned skank publicly called my husband, father of one, the pops to her own kid(s) to minimize our family reality for twisted sister You Go Girl! likes from a bunch of lobotomized Instamorons - not a one apparently capable of a sane relationship with anyone in their own sad-assed lives - I’d say something a little sharp. The Father’s Day post blows my mind and I never thought she’d stoop so low. Even in terms of how she treats Jason. Naive me!

I regret to inform you that Sonja Sexy J Tremont Morgan of the upstate Morgans has implants* ...and, allegedly, so does Lu. * she has made multiple WWhL appearances with an implant visibly pushed out. This was especially noticeable in Sonja’s lushier, messier, seasons. ETA: evidence courtesy of the Fail. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2344234/Real-Housewives-Sonja-Morgan-48-reveals-lopsided-boob-job-spills-bustier-performing-burlesque-dance.html ETA part deux: none of that detracts from the fact that Ramoaner looks like an aged Jayne Mansfield without the brains and charm with 100x the macrame dresses, surgically displaced nostrils, uninterested and unfaithful husbands, and sociopathy...

It’s completely pathetic that “business interests” are served by Bethenny losing her shit bigly at the infuriating but clueless monster LuAnn. Saaaaaaad.

Who knows but if anyone’s raising a “snowflake” it might be a shopaholic attention grubmonster who is putting her kid, barred on some level from social media exposure in an ongoing custody war, in view on nonstop Instastories, according to her thread. Maybe we can turn to the woman Beth poured water on at a Hamptons concert because B got princess-bitch-twisted-nipple-pissed that her view was impeded at a concert...spoiler alert! The woman who got soaked was surely, according to some, asking for it! Beth’s stalking around Barton G’s and ramping up the dramatics reminded me so much of how scary Nene Leakes could get on Atlanta housewives. To me, they are similar - franchise stars who stated off as the sheroes of each series, made it big or bigger, and then proved each has absolutely no capacity for self-reflection. LuAnn isn’t a star in that way - she’s got a stiffness and a humorless quality that has always killed the attempted charm IMo - but she suffers from the same intensity of self-obsession. Pretty gotdamned sad.

And this one comes across like a total idiot. Billy Bush is a not-cute, not-talented, spoiling cream cheese not-man who got dumped when his wife got tired of his ugly elfin self cheating. Tinz needs someone to pick her man for her. Good grief.

Ramona and Lu’s treatment of Barbara in the early part of the episode upset me. It was just cruel. I hope Ramona catches as-yet uncategorized social diseases from Harry the Grub Dubin and continues fine-tuning her face tweaks. Ugh.

I thought everyone looked physically pretty damned good in Miami, even hungover, with yesterday’s lashes glued on, in bright light and in swimwear. The OC hos are in constant steady sunshine and gods forgive me, they look a MESS in terms of skin tone and quality, things that can’t really be helped, and in terms of every voluntary aesthetic choice. Mine eyes have seen Vicki in swimwear and I’ll take the NY ladies every time. The Watch What Crappens fellows are always singing the praises of the show and I need to also give thanks. I’m never really bored when I watch and I’m reluctant to delete the DVRd episodes. This cast makes for a reliably great show. For those of you who think Lu is using and drinking, what physical tells do you see?

-.

I want to live in a universe where Bethenny’s comment was a deliberate Hail Mary to save this season. Does anyone think Tinsley can pipe up all savior-style next episode during the dinner time rumble and say, “B, love you mean it, but stop hyperventilating-crying unless it’s over the fact that you’re probably not getting sole physical custody?” To save the show?

I...jeez. At this point, I don’t understand how anyone could straight-faced argue that Bethenny didn’t say that because of a minor fit of pique that Tinz was gifted a work by an artist who charged B. LS, you’re being honest and in turn I shuddered at that anecdote. It’s brutal. I’m here for watching Ramona “swim” and insist that Mario still wants her! Truly unpopular opinion: I liked all their bathing suits, and I thought Barbara looked cute in her running tights! Top that, someone!

It’s an absolutely unforgivably disgusting thing for her to say IMO.

Tinsley isn’t hung up on that cream-cheese King of Coupon Cabin IMO. She’s having an internal reckoning of where she’s at versus where she thinks she should be, where a woman with her childhood and education and “rearing” should be. It’s painful and I feel actual sympathy for her. I think there’s a lot of good in her, and I hope Tinsley gets to know, accept, and love herself, doughy manipulative boyfriends and bitch-assed “friends” notwithstanding.

Tinsley is not by objective definition (or semi-typical NYC dating and mating patterns that I see daily) over the age for children, and I’ve got no personal ax to grind here.

Kevin needs some cawnfidence because he can do so much better than Ramona. I like Dabney (Dabs) and the Tinz together. I didn’t catch Bethenny’s remark about having a daughter while Tinz doesn’t and rewound after reading the comments here. I’m mostly wordless. How fucking awful (wait, found some), whether off the cuff or not. People like Beth are terrifying because one is truly never safe with them. Ever.

Hard disagree on that. Tins is obviously observant and astute, I’d argue, and makes quick but light comments that indicate there’s an iceberg of What I COULD Be Saying right there beneath the tip of What I AM Saying. Old Dale is the 180 of that - she has all the charm, finesse and subtlety of a giant frigging shipwreck. The Sideshow Bob of Upstate NY was cute! Go on, Barbara!

Bethenny, Tinsley and Ramona each looked so fabulous at their Anejo meetup. Truly awesome.

I kind of love Tinsley. And Sonja really hates her. As if she wasn’t taking Clomid and eating yams three meals a day to make sure she got her paycheck I mean child when she was married to Father Time Morgan. Every time I try to give that moldy addlepated hooker the benefit of the doubt she acts so cruelly that I have to slap myself, Airplane!-style, to get to reality. Sonja’s at least as bad a person as ANYONE on the show. She’s at least as bad a parent as Lu, yes I wrote it and I won’t ever take it back. Jesus in a “mobile van office,” what a waste of dermatology visits and alimony. The Instagram story of Ramona’s real friends was like WHOA. Star Wars bar whoa. Katherine Helmond in “Brazil” whoa. At some point ya gotta stop fucking with yourself. (Right?) I really liked Dorinda’s joy in her new neighborhood. Cute! Bravo is never cute!

Tinsley broke my heart. I would be devastated if my daughter grew up knowing she couldn’t be real with me and depend on me to not stomp her heart into dust because of my own expectations. I can barely process how awful that scene was. I’m legitimately worried for her. She needs intelligent, kind friends who encourage her again and again and again to seek serious talk therapy at minimum and to ghost Scott. There is no plausible scenario that makes him forwarding a text exchange regarding engagement rings as anything other than The Worst, chubby weak-chinned Midwest “baller” edition. She can do better than a portly neverwas thinks he’s hung zero. Pleeeaaaase. And it’s tragic, like dig up Flaubert tragic, that she can’t get past this socialite crap. No one envies those women anymore - NYSD and Page Six and Paris Hilton’s Silence of the Lambs porno killed it dead. Mommy sites routinely discuss the ghoulish surgeries of the social set on view at sites like the one I’m linking to. Tinsley is better than that even without her own understanding that she is better than that. The decades ahead for that set are grim. Good god. Sonja (I like transitions!) is a vicious viper. It’s like, shocking the hell out of me. The whoring for looks at the circus. The projection about Tins being a user. What a blunt, minus the bl, add a capital C. A mega that word. Okay, anyhoodle: I’m linking to a party photography site where you can see her ex and her former BFF at the ex’s museum benefit: https://www.patrickmcmullan.com/events/5cc7b765a2ea4b32ac000001/ Take a look at Father Time, dear reader. Gaze upon his doddering self: how infuriated is Sonja? Very. VERY. She knew he’d die in bed with her and leave her a small island and Bergdorf’s money for 200 years. And yet there he is, still going to benefit lunches and squinting at cameras and holding onto her girlfriend. When Sonja acts like what she really is, I look forward to her difficult future. She is a straight-up bad person. We all forget, but she likes to send up a flare every now and then. I LOVED RAMONA TAKING BARBARA SHOPPING WTF IS WRONG WITH ME. Send help, preferably a St. Bernard with a good rose or a chocolate milkshake in its barrel collar, thanks.

I don’t necessarily disagree about B but for me she’s not the only critical cast member. I’m unwilling to entertain a pre-Dorinda, pre-Berkshires RHONY - Dorinda also always tends to get along with most of the HWs, has no money issues, and represents a lot of “real New Yorker” elements in terms of being an outsider upstater who became an insider city slicker. I think the overall cast chemistry is pretty stellar. Even with Barbara and the two headed monster. I always wanted a genuinely cool writer type but don’t miss culture vulture Carole much at all.

Jill Z can get along with an ex! AHEM BETHENNY. I do think that’s sweet and that Ally, who seems like good people, is #greatful for that.

John. She’s saying if you run game on me you’ll lose me.

So much smug. But damn Ramona, she did not need those implants! She would look so much hotter without them, just IMO. Sonja’s pink lipstick in one or two TH’s were similarly not the business.