phlebas

I'm sure their creativity will be appreciated in 18 years when Lux legally changes his name to Steven.

Hey, he had a clipboard! What more do you need? Maybe they should hook Thomas up to JoJo's Macbook to see if he's lying

I am ALL IN on these forced red-flag confessions. "Here are all the reasons I shouldn't be anywhere near a romantic relationship." Katie: "Thank you for sharing that. I am not giving you a rose, but I think all of that is probably true."

$50 million is a lot to pay someone to not host The Bachelor. I would not host for half that. But then, I don't know where the bodies are buried. A $50 million NDA is big enough to hush a whole lot.

She let a lot of bad haircuts go. Is this the first time showing up in a full body costume has worked? I get furries need love too, but I always assumed a stunt like cat guy came from people not really interested. I guess we'll see. This still might be one long-form pussy joke.

If Sara annoys you, Jamie must make you homicidal

I know CH is only on screen for about 45 seconds a week during BiP. So it should be fine -- a little David Spade goes a long way.

Eager to see how this works out

See, this is what I want from this franchise: stupid scandals. I don't need racism or life-altering accusations. I want bachelorettes too stoned to call their moms when the season is over. Keep your Matt James and your Rachael Kirkconnell. Give me two scoops of Whaboom with a sloth girl chaser.

She looked at her final four, then looked at her vibrator, then sighed and sent those doofuses home.

Maybe so. Honestly it's been a long time since I've paid much attention to anything Hannah B has done, thought, or said.

The theory i've been hearing is this was taped awhile ago and this is where she met the current boyfriend

This is not a headline for which I was prepared. https://themuse.jezebel.com/should-fessy-have-eaten-the-testicles-1846690664 Is he still dating Hayleigh? (ETA: I looked it up - they broke up last summer.)

I guess you could read it that way. To me, it's clear he was allowing Rachael to believe what he told her so he had someone else to sex up.

Turns out it's WAAAAAAY more awful. https://people.com/tv/rachael-kirkconnell-feels-matt-james-broke-her-trust-after-she-stayed-with-him-in-nyc-source/

My bad. Internetting without coffee. I just pretend they're all Kendall wanna-bes

Are you sure? I'd swear that was Bri from Colton's season -- the one who faked an Australian accent then made Ol' Matt Donald look stupid on BiP. But I would not put money on it 🙂

No, not black, but maybe not identifying as white. But maybe the "Two black Bachelorettes and one black Bachelor and every one chose a white finalist" sort of scoreboarding is not the point?

I think Brian is Hispanic. Don't remember where I heard that, though.

Depending when in the fall it airs, we might have three seasons in 12 months. Or four, depending how you count Clare/Tayshia. And it sounds like they are going to try a BiP in there too.

I admit... I thought Rachael did a great job in what must have been a tough discussion. No defensiveness, no deflecting, no excuses. I'm not saying she's put in the work or deserves to not be held to account or anything like that. But for what that interview was, I don't know how she could have handled it better. I'm guardedly optimistic she'll come out the other side of this a decent, well-rounded person. At least, I'm more optimistic about that from her than I am from Victoria, MJ, or Anna. For now, I'll just be happy knowing there's more Michele, Katie, and Tayshia in my TV future.

These people... Chris is Jesus now? Jesus Chris Superhost. There are a lot of things about the New Testament which would have come off differently if they'd been said by Daisy Duck. what would you call a religion based on the teachings of Chris Harrison? (my phone tried to autocorrect to Christ Harrison! Ha!) Christianity is already taken. Rosetafari? ZoRoseastrianism? It would be the MOST DRAMATIC RELIGION ever, except for those people worshipping for the Wrong Reasons. When the lead dumps someone, is it because "you're just not my messiah"? I'm sorry I haven't had coffee yet. I'll stop before i accidentally insult a real religion 🙂

I'll take direct New Englander honesty every time.

Abigail gets left out, but she can come over here and watch