Heathen

He's got others! No big deal! Or so they probably think. Yes, Nostrils Jr. is definitely Austin's kid.

I was just thinking, before I read the end of your post, that they'll have a pregnancy soon. FOMO. Attention attention attention. It's Carlin and Evan we're talking about. They'll probably announce the pregnancy before he falls asleep, or before the stick dries!

I can absolutely see her calling herself a doula. Evan can bill himself as a neonatal photographer/videographer.

Does she have three kids or is she one of the three? Hmm, difficult question here!

Or Whitney said "you've gotta be effing kidding me! I've got four and a half kids, you've got two! And I do all the work at the boutique, you fruitcake!" I like that version better. 😄

Carlin's profile kind of looks like Karl's. I saw it, too.

Mmmm hmmm.

She's probably been putting Spanish fly in his food and chasing him around their bedroom, especially since the first grandchild was born. Can't have her own married adult children getting the attention, ya know. Hey, you just came up with a name for another Keller child. Nehemiah, Newman, Noman, Nebuchadnezzar, and so on.

Any bets on how many takes it took to get that shot with all the artfully tousled hair?

The ponytail as well as the French/braided version. I think Katie has "influencer bitch" potential if she hangs with Carlin too much. She has that self-obsessed vibe going on.

I think Lazy and Lazier are up to something like 23 grandkids now, not counting the unborn, not that they care beyond the actual number for fertility cult bragging rights. I'm sure it chaps Gil's ass that Jim Bob Duggar is still far in the lead. Not only did these unemployed boneheads blow a lot of money on travel, but they did it for nothing!

It didn't work. The earrings still look like dollar-store rejects. Her face freaks me out.

Maybe he can't count that high without taking his shoes off. Jill shares inappropriate information about other people. Turnabout is fair play, honestly. Wasn't it Jill who posted about her own daughter having stitches from Nehemiah's birth? Not to mention all the attention-whoring she's done over her sister Amy.

Wait until she gets home and needs some attention and/or clickbait.

I honestly read this and thought Nurie was already pregnant with yet another, to be named Nitabuch. Dog help me. I am not a psychologist yet, nor do I play one on TV. But my interpretation of the fundie tendency to exaggerate is that a lot of them outright lie. Maybe they don't even realize they're doing it. But they're lying.

It looks like ordinary spaghetti with meat sauce. Why go to the trouble of getting overpriced restaurant carryout for something you can cook yourself at home, and probably have? Why not get something, I don't know, different? Bateses are freaking weird.

He better start exercising, or better yet, go back to work, while he still has any clothes that fit. Someone should also tell him that the vest isn't concealing anything. Neither one of them looks like they actually give a shit about the new baby. Those fake half-smiles are meant for Instagram only.

Born on my brother's birthday. His middle name is also James. Here's hoping Hailey is less of an asshole than my self-absorbed, spoiled, golden penis half-brother. Think Rhett Webster but not fundie. I'm giggling at the idea of Evan dancing around, camera in hand, barely able to contain himself until he can post videos and photos of the baby. Giggle giggle giggle That's a damn low bar!

Genetics + working outside = wrinkles. Genetics + working outside without sunscreen = early wrinkles. Really not even that early.

LAMPS?! Did they think the hospital delivered babies by candlelight? I wonder if the hospital has a Starbucks (the hospital where I have to spend a lot of time has one, and it's always busy). It would save Carlin some time.

Fixed that for you. I'm sure Carlin and Giggle Boy are waiting impatiently with the makeup, hairspray, and cameras to get some clicks.

Is it terribly mean of me to hope that her makeup sweats off and her hair gets irredeemably matted so that she isn't "perfect" in the first baby photos?

At Starbucks? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

He may not be allowed to go by himself. He might see *whispers* bras and lingerie there! And be overcome by thoughts that cannot be righteously fulfilled, or some such BS. Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if he isn't allowed enough pocket money, and enough time alone, to buy a damn belt.

Medicrap hits Turkiye. Did Austin go, or Nathan Bates the Awful?