ezzy4

Mia is an emotional abuser. Perhaps she doesn't mean to be, but she shows all the signs. 1) She disregards personal boundaries (stalking charges) 2) she outright lies about her behaviors to protect herself and confuse others 3) she minimizes her behaviors (seems actually suprised Tristan is still confused/upset about her arrest) 4) she's a perpetual victim who has no responsibility in shared conflicts 5) she minimizes Tristan's concerns and feelings (during the car ride when Tristan was speaking emotionally, she was completely disconnected from emotion and unwilling to acknowledge his concerns/ insights. Acknowledge doesn't equal agree. Shutting down another person's emotional concerns is a power play meant to demean.) 6) she engages in important emotional business when Tristan was unable to defend himself. (Asking for a divorce in the middle of the night by waking someone up is a calculated power move; as is leaving without explanation and turning off your phone). She is playing dangerous emotional games. She's the WORST!

Gwad, Dave and Amber are B-O-R-I-N-G. They are the couple who spends weeks deciding which shade of beige to paint their accent wall in the kitchen. Then once they hire a contractor to paint the wall, they go to Abblebees and complain how stressful it is having your home renovated. And, yet they don't like each other. Zzzzzzzzzzzz

Hahaha!! SPOT ON!!

damn you gina...DAMN YOU GINA!! You made me have to watch a scene where Vicki was the one making sense! Damn, you Gina!! Seriously girl, you are going through a super easy divorce, huh? You AREN'T ABOUT MONEY, huh? You wish other women could learn lessons from you BEFORE you go through divorce about how to go through a divorce, huh? But wait....you didn't realize you will lose your health insurance once you are divorced??? Seriously??? You seem sooooo clueless. You aren't about money as long as divorce doesn't effect your access to money. I can't imagine that level of stupidity. You made Vicki seem like a reasonable person. Arggggggg.

About Mia and Tristan, the insurance and the fight. . . We know that Mia is someone who will push, push, push her agenda past all reasonable legal means. We know if something makes her look bad, she will outright LIE. We know that if you ask her specifically not to bring up a topic of conversation, she will nod in agreement that she won't, but bring it up at the very first opportunity she has. And we know that she hasn't taken ANY responsibility for anything she has done or said . . . or any responsibility for the fallout her behavior has caused to other people at any point. (At least she hasn't done so on camera.) In fact, we know (because she tells us) that she believes she isn't the cause of, but rather the victim of, her own behavior. At the very least, she's a very difficult personality. I'm sure Tristan isn't perfect. I mean he signed up to be "married at first sight" on a silly reality show . . . so . . I mean he likely has some issues of his own. But I'm not sure why we need to really search for what his contributions are . . . because . . . well, again, Mia has given us enough evidence to pin all of this on what we already know about her. Tristan says Mia agreed to add him to her insurance and that seems supported by the fact (that Mia didn't contest) that she apparently gave him a phone number to facilitate that. The number didn't work. Again, we've seen Mia nod in agreement in the past and then absolutely act in a complete opposite way of what she agreed to, and then act confused by why that would be a problem. It seems like she just did that same thing she has a history of doing; SAYING one thing and DOING another thing. So she SAID she would add him, but give him a false phone number so it wouldn't actually happen. Obviously Tristan shouldn't have dropped his insurance before being added onto hers, but damn, it's hard to figure out what to do when you are in the middle of this kind of chaos. Honestly, I wonder if he simply didn't renew his insurance because they had agreed that he would be added to hers. And the end result is Mia (once again) feeling like she's somehow been victimized, "why oh why would you drop your insurance?!". Once again, she's just a confused victim. And Tristan looks like anyone would look who was being gas lighted, sputtering, "but we TALKED about this". Then the fight happens off camera. Back on camera, Mia is once again a confused victim. Tristan admits he said some things he shouldn't have. Mia admits to nothing. Mia says, confused because she did absolutely nothing wrong, that Tristan just over reacted to the insurance issue. He basically lost it and threw her things into the hallway. Tristan admits he acted badly, but says the argument was about the move. That Mia had been in agreement to move, but suddenly, unexpectedly changed her mind (because of the insurance issue). He said the marriage included a move and if she wasn't intending to move then she clearly wasn't intending to be in the marriage, at which point he threw her out. This makes some sense to me. Why stay living together in his apartment if she truly isn't intending to do anything she says . . . like, well . . . be married. See ONCE AGAIN this seems to be just exactly how Mia operates. The best prediction of future behavior is past behavior. Mia has a history of SAYING one thing and DOING the opposite thing. So, I lean toward believing Tristan. The fact that he acted so strangely during the counseling session doesn't change my mind either. He acted like someone victimized by gas lighting. He was nervous with a heightened "fight or flight" mode. He seemed to be questioning what had actually happened. Mia said he had been behaving abusively toward her. He seemed to take that claim seriously but struggle to understand how things had gotten turned around. And Mia just sat there with a weird, distant smile on her face. That girl is MESSED UP>

Gwad, i hate it when people who LIE try to push off the chaos left in the wake of their LIES by claiming there is a "communication problem". Ug. I hate Mia.

DEAR.LORD...Amber and Dave's plans for future family traditions include having Santa be part of Christmas when they have children. Whoaa! Slow down you crazy kids! (Seriously NO ONE can really be this boring, right?)

I so know Mia's type...talk, talk, talk..say everything that makes you sound like your all in, interested, ready..but...it's all just talk to make herself seem like a good partner. When it's time to actually act on all that talk, act surprised, confused, manipulated. It is sooooo frustrating being around these people.

I know, right? I swear I didn't even recognize her. But, ya know, she just looks like she's dealing with a tough pregnancy with extra added stress; the bloated face, the skin issues...her constant exhaustion. There is NO WAY she wasn't already well into her pregnancy when Pol showed up. NO WAY. And now the stress of Pol and her tough pregnancy...and who knows what the situation is with the actual father of the baby. Oye. No wonder she looks the way she does. Poor girl.

So the twice divorced, cheating, cancer scammer wants to preach morality and the importance of honoring the institution of marriage??...uhm....yeah, I'm gonna pass on listening to any of that CRAP. DEAR.LORD, Vicki, you have done gone lost your complete mind!

Wait...wha...seriously they can't even assemble a simple dresser together??? No one is really that pathetic, right? This CANNOT be for real. If it is... Amber and Dave CANNOT handle the most simple daily life tasks. I cannot imagine living like them.

Amber is exhausting. Just exhausting. She is a bundle of raw nerves and expects others to fix her insecurities; which no one can actually do for her...'cause...well they are HER insecurities. Dave has a fairly cold personality. He seems pretty self contained and...well selfish. So Amber requires MORE emotional support than most spouses do, and Dave gives LESS emotional support than most spouses do....sooooooo.... Yeah...don't see this really working out... It's a pretty big miss for these "experts".

Mia has SERIOUS boundary issues. She as been ARRESTED over her lack of appropriate boundaries. Everything about her family interactions demostrates this lack of appropriate boundaries is a family dysfunction; her father's weird discussion following the ceremony, her sister's forceful opinions about where people should live. People like this see boundaries as challenges. Just try to put a boundary down...they will push right through it. Tell them what you don't want to discuss at lunch, and it will be the FIRST thing they talk about. This stuff is serious. There are no easy solutions, especially when the entire family is enmeshed in this behavior. Mia looked completely blank during the discussion about why what she did at lunch upset her spouse. She later told the girls that the only real problem was her husband's reaction (while providing ZERO acknowledgement of her contribution to the argument). She just plain doesn't get it. She's shown ZERO contrition for her arrest either. Ug. She is the WORST!

Yeah...what a prick. Bye bye...take your boring wife with you.

Do you think Chantel is able to watch the show and see a different prospective?? Do you think she continues to close her eyes and believe what her family wants her to believe (despite what is clearly recorded). Chantel Mommy laid the groundwork, and River started the fight. So yeah...there was an ambush.

There is something so off about Craig . . . that non stop lying . . . convoluting every conversation . . . greasy hair . . . unlivable housing conditions . . . inability to focus on any single task . . . Something pretty serious seems to be going on. Substance abuses? Mental illness? Idk, but something. I suspect Niaome is still in shellshock from her time with him. Serious, real "gaslighting" type of abuse has horrible consequences on the victims. You are in a full out fight in one minute with your partner escalating craziness, and the next minute when someone else enters the room, the person "gaslighting" you changes on a dime . . . you are left sputtering, angry . . . coming across as unreasonable and bitchy. It's all so confusing and makes you unstable and untrusting. It leaves you looking over your shoulder ready for the next attack. It leaves you in a constant state of "fight or flight" that stresses you immune system, and heightens your defenses. It can make you seem like the crazy one. AND, it leaves you questioning your sanity. I'm not saying Craig means to be a horrible, abusive person. Like I said, there is something really off there. Maybe it's mental illness. If it is, he has my sympathy. But just because someone doesn't mean to be abusive, doesn't mean they are not. Just lying alone is abusive behavior. I wonder what else went on in their relationship. (I'm probably reading too much into this. Something about Niaome last night reminded me of my younger self when I was just out of a horribly abusive relationship. My bf would be threatening suicide ten minutes before we were expecting to entertain guests. And when the first person would arrive, he was a bumbling, loving sort. I was always on edge. His friends thought I was a bitch. It was just a horrible, horrible time. And it took me years to get over it. To this day, I have no idea what the underlying issues actually were with this bf. I don't know, but watchin Craig gives me scary flashbacks.)

River is awkward. He's still just a manchild. But when he threw that damn Ikea lampshape at Padro's head, Padro reacted like a grown man. So, yeah, River started that fight and just like a child he ended up hiding behind his Mommy and letting her literally take the fall for him. There is just some arrested development in that Chantel family. And, of course, there are boundary issues that come along with over controlling parenting. The result of all of this will be a broken marriage and a host of made up, one sided reasonings they will use to explain why it failed.

These ratings are confusing...Michelin actually only gives up to 3 stars and only fairly recently (historically speaking) does any ratings in the US (and only in NYC). Forbes is a US rating service and they give up to 5 stars. Honestly, going to a Michelin starred restaurant is a huge deal. Adam doesn't seem like an upscale chef AT ALL to me. I suspect his ONLY chance at dining at a Mitchelin starred restaurant was if it was booked and paid for by Bravo. Plus the culinary field is notoriously one that underpays. Many, many culinary trained chefs have not eaten at a Michelin starred facility.

And his damn caprese salad every.single.time. How many ways can someone say mozzarella, tomato & basil?? Arg!

Did Kasey just say her last relationship was 8 years ago? Yep...sounds about right. She doesn't seem like someone who's ever experienced an adult relationship...or a real job... She's not yet ready to adult...or iron..etc...lol.

Damn...Adam is a jerk. If he cooked decently at least Hannah would have a chance to make the meal sound appetizing. (Seriously he's concerned Hannah couldn't properly describe carrot cake? Lol)

Family Chantel really should have their own show. They are such a great example of serious family DYSFUNCTION. I think so many of us could learn so much about how NOT to do things by watching them. So this week was just more of the same . . . pushing through appropriate boundaries . . . attempting to control other adults . . . that weird, weird, weird "group think" stuff (now featuring River). . . the smirking . . . the glances back and forth. It's all so not normal. I think there are times families need to pull together and find a way to voice shared concerns. It's awkward. It's what you do in an intervention. Frankly it's what should be done with Nicole. People tend to hem and haw. They look at the floor. They have to write down their thoughts ahead of time because it's such a stressful situation to be involved in. The person being confronted is given a wide berth to express themselves also. But what Family Chantel does is very different. There is no awkwardness expressed by them. They just barrel through boundaries like they breath, with great ease and complete belief in their right to behave and say however they choose. It's called a "closed family system" and it is a cultlike existence for the members. I have a lot of empathy for Chantel. You can see her trying to reconcile her family's belief system with the real world. Someone mentioned her blank stares; her delay in responding. Yeah, she come across like someone out of a cult. You can see her trying to stay calm. You can see her trying to control the uncontrollable (I think that's why she went to the PI). And Pedro has his issues with his family too. There are boundary issues there too (maybe it's all cultural). I don't think its a huge surprise they hooked up. It seems like they both didn't see the red flags others (from more functional family background) would see. Chantel lied to her parents about Pedro visa but Pedro doesn't see lying as an issue. He lies all the time himself. Pedro puts his family's unreasonable demands ahead of his marriage. So does Chantel. These two kids have a lot of work ahead of them if they are going to have a happy marriage. Honestly, it doesn't look like it's going to happen.

I feel badly for Annie and Anfisa. They both are somewhat clever girls who set their sights on a better life in America. I mean, Annie was a hooker in a cheap blow shop, right? So her life is better now. It's not like she is cute enough or young enough to do a whole lot better in snagging an American guy (man, that sounds so mean to say . . . but . . . ya know . . . truthful). Now that's she's here, she needs to double down on her goals and achieve something more for herself. Get a better guy? Get a job and work like hell? I suspect she has more options now than she had in her homeland (or she will once she can get a job and get out and meet people). I think it's human nature that when things get just alittle bit better for you, you immediately start feeling bad that they aren't significantly better. I'm not going to fault her for her disappointment. Her guy is disappointing. After hearing Anfisa's backstory, I guess it's easier to understand how she ended up in this situation. I hosted an Russian exchange girl for a year, and she came with some very outdated views about how rich and easy America is. I'm sure Anfisa thought things would be much better for her here. The rage we saw from her last year is understandable. People like Jorge (and his gwad awful sister) really can bring out the rage in people. His constant stream of lies, his double speak, his blank stares, his gaslighting . . . I think anyone would end up screaming at the top of their lungs for their makeup bag in the middle of that kind of abuse. I fee ZERO empathy for these pathetic guys who went fishing and misleading in another culture to snag a women they could NEVER get on their own actual merits. They are pathetic. I'm rooting for both of these women. -- So yeah . . . the lawyer and PI . . . not the cream of the crop. That shouldn't be a surprise. It's hard to make a buck out there. It's not the top of the game people agreeing to be featured in a bad reality show. I'm not gonna criticize anyone who isn't obviously camera ready. They are likely just trying their best. --- Russ and Pao - Her attraction to "Ross" is his attachment to a reality show. She aspires to be a Dlist celebrity. I don't get it, but it's her dream. Russ aspires to be interesting. In his mind apparently, aspiring Dlist celebrities are considered interesting. Seems to work for them. Well it seems to work for them at least for now.

Dear. LORD Jeremy... Did you actually say to your Dad "you think you're ever gonna get a straight answer from Mom?" (or something like that). What a little POS. Just because you don't hear what you want to hear (which, "sure Jeremy, YOU should get the house free and clear") doesn't mean Amy didn't give an answer. And then in his TH he said something like he isn't ready to be handed the farm RIGHT NOW. Ug. He and his wife can barely even cover their distain for Amy during a beautiful Christmas celebration. And...yeah...Auj just LOVES to cook...she seems like such a natural helping out in the kitchen- lol. I really hope they grow the HELL up and stop acting like spoiled little brats. Yeah, i was pretty suspicious that a "leaky dishwasher" caused such significant damage. I suspected there was a bigger plumbing issue. I wonder why Jeremy was so clueless?

I'm not sure. I do see your point though. I just can't see that step father giving Nicole money...but the if Mom really paid for that wildly inappropriate dress (that Nicole though was so PREE TEEE) that's odd as hell.