Uncle JUICE

I say this every week usually, but this week was a little too dark for it, but when on earth are they just going to have guests using THC? Just seems like so much less trouble to get into as compared to alcohol. I'm not saying nothing bad happens with weed, just that it's much easier to manage.

You sure you're not thinking about 90 Day The Other Way with that Michigan lady?

I disagree here: I bet production informed him that she'd acted exactly the same way that Luke did, only she had her clothes on, and his only advisable legal course of action was to terminate her just like he did Luke.

One thousand percent correct. She did exactly the same thing the naked guy did, without being naked. And she heard a comparatively sober "no" several times, but still blew through it. It's disgusting behavior, period, man or woman. I'm fairly certain they were about to let Laura off the hook, but Aehsa saved the day by accident. She just wanted to tell the Captain that Laura was an unbelivable shit to Margot, which seriously isn't getting enough side eye here, because that conversation was BANANAS. I don't think she intended for Laura to be fired, I think she figured a stern warning was coming for her, but the Captain did exactly what he should have done, the legally advisable course of action, and canned her over the deckhand stuff.

For the record, I flagged that bosun as problematic in the first episode, the dude was a creep from the word go. BUT, this is a problem of Bravo's own making. They absolutely cast these weirdos, then ply them with alcohol and screen time for the worst behaved. Something like this happening (again) was really inevitable, and thank god the crew was close enough by to step in and mind a cast member's safety (how many drunken falls / injuries in the history of this show?), not to mention prevent an actual felony. They'd have been and still could be legally liable, one thousand percent would have been co-defendants in the civil suit Margot would have filed. This incident HAS to change the show. because the three central pillars of this franchise's success are too dangerous a mix. Those three pillars? (1) Casting folks who have major relationship issues / emotionally stunted assholes. (2) Alcohol consumption past the point of drunkenness and into Jersey Shore "Everyone is Blacked Out, No One is Responsible for Themselves!" territory. (3) Screen time, and nothing gaurantees that like intracrew liaisons. I'm glad this is the shittiest boat, because this show is gross.

I don't think there's another show that is having as much fun being what it is as the Gemstones is. It's hard to explain, but I think that's what makes it unique. The Kelvin and Keefe thing was a tremendous piece of facial acting by all five of the people in the scene, and was legitimately moving. Clearly Jesse and Judy suspected it, and I think reflexively were shocked, but to see their faces settle into quiet happiness and satisfaction for their baby brother, preceded of course by the way BJ reacted (less shocked, more "good for you! finally!"), it was genuinely moving! A show with this many dick jokes does not have a right to be that moving!!! Speaking of, the scene in the bathtub where Judy and BJ reconcile...HOW DO THOSE TWO ACTORS DO THAT? It's insane.

This boat is garbage, it's like they can't find anyplace but the little table outside the main salon to film. And the main dining room doesn't have a single window, what a shitty place to eat on your maritime vacation, you can't even see the water. And the kitchen is literally within earshot! It must feel cramped as hell in that dining room. That bosun is a real problem for me. His approach to women is troubling.

I demand an explanation as to how Edy Paterson was overlooked for awards season. It's fucking criminal. The range of emotion she has to employ week on week is hard work, man. I cannot get enough of her performance. Even in the ridiculous car escape (ridiculous in the best possible way), the relief and the emotional release she finds a way to communicate so sincerely, I mean she's crying for Pete's sake. My appreciation for her goes all the way back to the summit with BJ at Outback, from that moment on her performance is next level comedy shit.

These need to stop. Once a season is believable, MAYBE, but people that are well off in real life, and have the real wherewithal to make one of these vacations happen, are not ALL into theme parties. THeme parties are the exception. And they'd be themed like "Black Tie" or something mature. Not "S&M dinner," and we brought our own gag balls and leather harnesses!" It's easily the dumbest thing about this program. Rich people don't go on vacation on a CHARTERED YACHT and say "I want a mardi gras poker night theme party, with only the cheapest PArty Fair decor, please!"

Kelvin prayed fervently for his father to recover, that's the first one I came up with. I feel like Jesse has too, but it was for something stupid and featured the f word.

This is the best visual joke that this show's ever done. It's beyond funny. For no reason NJ's dick is fully visible, Judy still hasn't "shaved her bush" like she wanted to in Season 1 (to surf faster, duh), but the absolute best thing about it is that it's in their living room. So guests HAVE to look at it. Fucking genius.

Sorry to be the sourpuss, but this was an absolutely awful finale. As I've said in a few other topics, if you don't want to be a sports show, then don't be a sports show, you can do a comedy about WORKING at a sports team just fine. But do not do sports if you're going to disrespect the sport and the players. Hear me out. Don't ask a soccer fan, even a casual soccer fan, to imagine that with one match to play and the chance for Richmond to finish on top of the league, the foolishness of kangaroo court is what's on top of their minds. That's something you'd do at the season end team dinner win or lose. And there is no sports kangaroo court where there's a team branded scroll and a judge outfit one of the players wears, come on now. While that's the least of the show's recent sports sins, it's not the only one. THe worst one this week, for me, is just how stupid the Ted stuff turned out to be. Ted, MR. Emotional Intelligence, decides to tell Rebecca he's quitting BEFORE the last match of the year? Days before?? Why? Wouldn't that news have kept? What good does telling anyone within the last week of the season do? What's it accomplish? How much practice time during the last week of the season, with the title on the line, and literal premier league football history on the horizon, did these people spend choreographing and practicing their farewell dance that gave me douche chills? So with one match to play and his dad on the cusp of history, HENRY DOES NOT GET TO GO TO ENGLAND AND WATCH? What the hell kind of bullshit is that? Why did they invite the douchebag ethical problem doctor over to watch, was it just for him to complain? Just to play the ugly American? Cheap points guys. In reality Ted would have absolutely demanded Henry and Michelle be granted access to Rebecca's suite, and really he'd never have had to, Rebecca would have said "Please book any airfare and accommodations for Henry and whoever needs to look after him, and give me the bill" the moment Richmond knew they were going to play for the title and hope for a loss by City. The entire locker room speech at the half, down a brace, is "I'm going to miss you" and "Don't worry, it'll all work out!" FOR REAL? Seriously, don't make him a coach then. He can be a consultant or whatever. No one even gets out a whiteboard. And before the game, why would the kit man bother with the Zava stuff? What was the point of that, except to remind us that yes, this was a plot on this show at one point this season somehow. 46 weeks ago. Leave it in the mail room, it's not like it was an organ for transplant. For some reason it's an avocado. Rupert storming the field to assault his manager?? Is he ever going to pass a security person? Where's his sideline lanyard? I HATE WHEN LITTLE MISTAKES LIKE THIS HAPPEN, they just ruin the reality of it and they cost no money at all. And show, did you need to have him dressed in a frigging Vader cape? We got it, he's a shitty person, but is he the worst thing that's ever happened to humankind? He's a shitty billionaire, he's not even unique. WHy would that coach stay on the sideline after the owner came and pushed him to the ground? Rupert would have to sell his stake in West Ham to be "out" of the league, so his punishment is he gets to be be super rich too? PLEASE just make me a show about Rebecca owning the Greyhounds. Everyone else can fuck straight off. Including Beard, whose shenanigans once again feel strange now that I know he's a former addict in recovery. Worse than Game of Thrones finale, sorry all. Edit: any idea why Richmond is somehow worth 2B$? Because it isn't in the stadium, it isn't on the pitch (who's they're highest paid player?), it isn't in the broadcast rights, it's not the Ted factor as he's leaving, what exactly is worth $2B? ETA AGAIN: Zero chance Isaac takes the PK. Not in a million million years. The fans would have burned the stadium to the ground if it wasn't Tartt, Dani, or Sam taking that shot, and rightfully so. But the show can't just let that absurdity live on its own, instead they add that he KICKED IT THROUGH THE NET. I've seen Ronaldo hit balls 60MPH that don't break the net, it's the premier league, not a kids rec league for pete's sake. And the ref would never have been confused, there'd have been no "Wait a minute, let me take a closer look." The ref's watch would have buzzed thanks to the goal line tech, AND the ball would have slowed down. Please, future sports shows, RESPECT your sport.

I wanted to think this too...but then I remember that this over-obsessive sort of thirst for knowing everything you can about one thing, right away, out of the blue, that's ALSO a potential symptom of addictive personalities. So is that what it's meant to be, or is that an accident? And reading one soccer book doesn't really tell me this is who he is as a person, you know? You have to do a little more than that, I'm not really sure what his nuts-n-bolts role is. No one is ever shown strategizing anyway. To use a soccer term here, this Beard thing is a total own goal, could have been avoided rather easily.

COme to think of it, doesn't his past now make his relationship with the woman whose name I don't remember, like the manic nature of it, less cutesie and more a dark symptom of a person who might need someone to help keep an eye on him? God, why pick the easiest answer with he's a recovering addict who clearly drinks and also uses drugs recreationally? Isn't that now sort of a yellow flag? Their relationship is never depicted as typical, but in this light it becomes something else entirely. Bad job Ted Lasso. I don't even mind if you make Beard an ex convict, that's fine, but something less nefarious than former crank addict would have been easier to execute and likely wouldn't have undermined the character. I'd have liked to know, for example, why Beard seems to know so much about soccer, as it cannot be what bonded Ted and Beard initially: Ted didn't know shit about soccer when he came to Richmond. Why does Beard appear to be positioned as someone who was very valuable to Ted's career as a soccer coach, not a football coach?

I am pretty sure he said he STOLE it, not sold it, unless I missed something. Totally possible because I have no idea what scene anyone's talking about with someone named Bex, I feel like I got hit on the head for having missed it.

I love how two people can see the same thing and react so differently to it :). I hated that the bartender somehow had enough command of that poem to quote it over multiple verses. She's not that character, let her spin her own wisdom with her own acerbic demeanor. You're robbing a side character of a signature moment. Mama Tartt was a very, very weird sequence. NO ONE says anything about it though, they never comment on it. Not even silently, or afterward to each other, one of them could have been like "HEy, was it weird the way she was like caressing him? That wasn't just me, right?" Guardiola making a cameo was nice...BUT then the show isn't happy with it. INstead of a warm congratulations and goodbye, he stops and gives Ted a "make these men the best they can be" speech? DOES ANYONE ON THIS WRITING STAFF WATCH PREMIER LEAGUE???? Unless Guardiola said "What the fuck, are you drunk playing down a man, your forward, no less, who is absolutely not necessary in the 85th minute of a game you're trying to protect a 1 - 0 lead on the road? Should I get the physio over here, are you concussed sir?", Please stop! And we agree 100% on Dani. What exactly does the show want us to think of him?

Ted Lasso, I'm sorry it ended this way. We had a nice little two season run, and now, at the end, it's more important for everyone to be happy than for anything to make sense at all. This show basically decided to aspire to nothing higher than after school special type of writing, it's absolutely disappointing. So much in this episode doesn't make any actual sense. Why exactly did Ted's mom go to England unannounced and sit on a park bench outside his apartment rather than call like a normal person? She's coming from KC, not from Leicester, it's a rather involved trip to "wing it", and what was her plan if Ted didn't come out that day for some reason? So wait...this show decided AFC Richmond was going to contend for the Premier League title? For real? What is this, MIghty Ducks 4? Please, this goes for all shows: if you don't want to do sports right, then don't do sports. It's just as compelling, and quite a bit more believable, to have them struggle to stay in the league. Then you don't have to ask us to believe they somehow have taken 45 points from 45 on a 15 game winning streak. THey're on a 15 game winning streak, have secured, implausibly, a place in the Champion's League the following year, everything's coming up Greyhounds...and somehow we are supposed to imagine a scene that happens off screen where the entire AFC RIchmond crew is like "We need Nate!" WHY WOULD THEY EVEN THINK ABOUT NATE???? He's been sacked or quit, the show doesn't make it clear, from a different champion's league team (The Hammers were in 2nd last episode). WHY would anyone think "now is the time" and not, say "Maybe it's something we can address in the offseason, but this season's got ONE WEEK LEFT, we don't need a new coach." Someone mentioned this earlier but it bears reiterating. There is literally zero chance they play a man down for any time at all once Tartt is hurt. They're protecting a 1 - 0 lead at the Etihad, on the road, for first place in the Premiership, in the 85+th minute. It's grounds for dismissal, that's how irresponsible it is, and to have it be so Ted and Jaime can pace out this weird little scene about what's really important or whatever? It insults the soccer fans who watch this show. Beard's backstory: doesn't that make his two episodes out on the town, one we saw, the other we only see the aftermath of in Holland, PROBLEMATIC? He was drinking Auyuhuasca or however you spell it with Ted, wouldn't that be a high risk for backsliding into a meth addiction so terrible you stole your friend's car? Three weeks ago we thought it was adorable, now we're open to the possibility that Beard murdered a sex worker in a relapse! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? It comes from out of nowhere. If you had "someone was addicted to Meth" on your Lasso bingo card, congrats. That's a sign this show is lost, entirely.

Sorry I'm late to the party and once again I feel like a bit of an outsider looking in, but this show has kinda lost its way for me, and I"m not sure I expect it to recover and stick the landing. Most of what I feel about Nate has been said, but to succinctly summarize, he's a shit person who did shit things to people and has had no appropriate redemptiom. He literally got everything he wanted: the Hammers were in 2nd place in the table with what CANNOT be more than a month to go given that we know the Greyhounds not only won 10 in a row, but also lost 7 in a row, and I doubt those are the only games they've played. He didn't even get fired, he apparently resigned off screen as far as I can tell. THe manager. Of the 2nd place time in EPL. Resigned because his boss wanted to get him laid. I'm not saying this ISN'T morally reprehensible of Rupert, duh, I'm saying a better show makes this into something, some conflict where Nate really DOES have to make a decision: give up his dream job, risk a black mark on his very young career where it's impossible to break into (EPL has had the same seven managers on rotation whenever anyone is canned, for example. Pottechino has managed half the teams by now!). THAT is a potential redemption, THAT is a story arc. What they gave us was Nate's inexplicably so put off that he resigns, moves home, retains his girlfriend AND HIS DAD SAYS HE IS A GENIUS??? I'm expecting Lasso to be a different show than it wants to be, that's kind of my problem. It has all these extra neat and absolutely implausible resolutions to messy things. Keely's business, which is incomprehensible because they never show what she's doing, at which she's MAYBE competent (Again we have to guess), goes under because the investor pulled funding? Oh, no problem, REbecca can invest in it! WHY WOULD SHE? Where are Rebecca's lawyers? A neater more believable solution is to say we'll hire you on in house as President of Marketing. Super league...the whole plot done in one episode?? Again Lasso, if you're not going to be a sports show, you're better off staying AWAY from sport stuff entirely. Because this was nonsense, from the moment AFC RIchmond is invited in. They haven't even been in the premier league for TWO SEASONS, and they're a 'super club? Zero chance Rebecca's credible in that room and not because she's a woman, or because she's Rupert's ex, but because HER TEAM DOESN'T BELONG THERE. Also why is Danny a psycho now? No hint of that at all, even in game footage he's smiling and happy and polite, you can't show him throwing in a spicy tackle every now and then? GIve us some supporting structure? If he had the keeper one on one and CHOSE to smash the ball in his face rather than try to score, I mean come on now. I"m glad Lasso's ending. I've been with it long enough where I'll see it through, but a season 4? No thanks. Rename it AFC RIchmond and give Rebecca a starring role in it, with her showing what a boss bitch really is, I'll watch that. Just don't do any soccer in it.

Whoever is dressing Rebecca as a character is on like a 88 match unbeaten streak, they deserve all the Emmies for her wardrobe. It's like if the word "chic" could walk around.

When she's upbraiding Roy, and rightfully so, she looked incredible. Frankly on the WAY to upbraiding Roy she looked incredible too. How on earth did she not become a big star earlier in life? She's been one of the real beacons of excellence in this series from the first episode, she's drop dead gorgeous, she can do humor, she can do emotion, I guess better late than never, but good grief, when you add her arms and tush game in with her absolutely dominant hair game, she's a titan. How did we miss her for so long? Far as the episode goes, once again I'm in the minority. The plus side, I was glad to see Rachel give it to Roy, whose act might play with the youngsters but she is HIS BOSS. I kinda wish she reacted a little more firmly at first, though, rather than on second thought, because his first response, 'fuck off', is totally inappropriate regardless of your personal relationship, you are on work grounds. I knew exactly how Ted Lasso was going to handle the whole Hughes thing, including the Isaac side of it, but come on Lasso, the way it played out was absolutely stupid. The team is trying to avoid relegation down a goal at home. Their captain just charged into the stands and physically accosted a fan. The halftime talk cannot be fifteen minutes of who's gay or not, I'm sorry. The halftime talk is basically "Thanks to our captain, who we can bet is going to be suspended for the remainder of the season, we are playing down a man, so here's what adjustments we're going to make." THere is no hugging, no goofing around, what happened there was a VERY serious problem. I figured the only reason they had Keely THERE was because she was going to immediately start dealing with the situation. Nope, the team owner, the team GM, they're all just fine, watching the game, when literally the only thing that they'd be worried about from that moment forward was a potential lawsuit, and what they have to do with Isaac. I don't know that Ted Lasso is going to show us the discussions about cutting Isaac, but if Isaac is just on the team and everyone's like aw shucks, that's our guy, come on now. Stop being a sports show, then, Ted Lasso. I'll watch ALL the show you want about Rebecca. But don't be a sports show if you want to ignore the sports-y side of it. Isaac embarassed himself, and the team, despite noble intentions. Yes, you can do damage control (by having Hughes come out to the world, then corroborate Isaac's account, of course) but in the end, that damage control is for the CLUB. Isaac has to do his own, on his own.

Ill buy thar she might have been PART of a vanity fair europe spread about young women leaders in businesses, like a top 40 under 40, but I thought they treated it like she was a featured interview. I might be remembering wrong because I am always stoned watching this (fridays) and I'm so mad at it that my brain is spinning that thing where ot says "well if you though THAT sucked, then it's likely that the episodes we already watched and wanted to like were also shitty. Let's review!" :)

I buy the Amsterdam team hang out, just not the pillow fight. Grown men aren't getting into pillow fights in hotel lobbies. And yes, team bonding sessions will happen, but usually in larger groups. The bolded didn't make a lick of sense at all to me and I hated the shit out of it. That entire storyline took less than half of one episode and one of the players just HAPPENS to know how to do neon? Isn't it more sensible that they'd band together as a team, pool funds, and renovate the restaurant by using CONTRACTORS? And where was Ms. Public Relations to do a story about it? That was a gold mine and they resolved it by his delightful dad being like "Hang in there son, smile! We can ignore this!" COME BACK TO ME LASSO.

Like it's out of an after school special. Every word so finely curated, and everyone feels exactly the same way about everything. COuldn't one of those dudes at least have said "Guys, fuck you, I'm not deleting anything from my phone, I'm not sharing it, but they were given to me, with consent. So fuck off with your high horse judgement of people who keep them." I really, really hated that storyline's execution. Also not buying that Vanity Fair did a spread on her, apparently former model, definitely dated a couple of soccer players (not premier league players, so....), who has somehow started a PR company but no demonstrable success, she's never in the office, too, by the way. Some trade magazine maybe, but no one beyond the PR world would care about Keely remotely. It's not like she did big brother or dancing with the stars or something desperate like that, she'd chosen to live a more private, less glamorous life. Not exactly Vanity Fair fare.

SEE HOW MUCH BETTER THAT IS?!?! Seriously! It does so much more for the character AND it provides some Keely character building. She'd have a playbook for this, and when the momentary panic that it was her own video subsided, she probably would have had a good approach. Sadly she doesn't work at the club anymore, so she doesn't have to deal with the awkwardness from the boys afterward. In a week it'd be forgotten. The presence of these is no longer a controversy; the controversy is how they get out now, we all just accept that everyone has a dick / pussy pic on their phones, we're all people.

Maybe I'm watching this show wrong. This episode was absolutely ridiculous from pillar to post. First, I'm tired of the team members addressing things in these weird "just so" sorts of ways. it's really hard to explain, but every one of them in the leaked video scene was talking as if they were reading some public relations authored official tweet about it. I appreciate the effort to address this issue from a number of different angles, but it just sounds bizarre when there are three in a row. We're not watching a conversation, then, we're watching what sounds like a PSA, in this case, it's "Dudes, be cool about the nudes your girlfriend lets you have." A message I whole heartedly agree with of course, but this isn't a conversation 20 guys in a locker room have. And how fucking inappropriate was it for Isaac (couldn't disagree more that he's a good team captain) to take that one guy's phone OUT OF HIS HAND? If you want to talk about being adults, that's not how to do it. The whole scene was stupid and again, it's just not a natural way for people to interact. This is a professional team of professional players, not a high school. Let them be adults and reach that realization on their own. What, EXACTLY, is Keely's job? And how do we have any idea if she's (a) good at it today and (b) succeeding? I find myself more and more on team "Straightlaced Office Lady". I find keely pretty insufferable, her character's become this weird arrested development charicature, like she's perpetually nineteen. And Jack did a U turn this week on if she was cool with Keely being her girlfriend. I don't think anyone, and I mean anyone, today would demand that an employee who made a private video on their personal devince that pre-dates employment would demand the employee prostrate herself in front of the public and declare herself full of shame. Hell, would anyone even COVER that some public relations executive had her videos hacked? Keely would be on like page 4 of the google search for those hacks. Who'd even care? Mistake making it such a big deal, except that we HAD to have these virtuous footballers all take their chance to show what an awesome and sensitive guy they are. You can play with this plot line without this "BIG DEAL" thing hanging over it and it'll work just fine. Also ALL OF THOSE PLAYERS WOULD HAVE DOWNLOADED IT. Even the gay one. I just am disappointed it feels like every scene ends with some smiling hug between two characters and everything's going to be okay. It makes me grouchy :). Also fuck Nate from here to West Ham. His redemption is still unearned. Also how does Richmond go on a 4 game win streak and we see none of it? And nice guy or not, I don't think you last in the EPL if you lose seven straight contests nowadays.