Uncle JUICE

I think this finally broke my addiction guys. This is a terrible episode of an absolutely awful show. First, please stop with the Lindsey and Blaine stupidity. This story was never real, it doesn't sound anything like it's real, it's literally just a couple of losers thinking this is their big break. If that Blain guy speechified any more, I swear! And a grown up's reaction to problems isn't "Smash an old toilet into a fire I am burning on my own property". Plus the lawyer just calls and says give me $3K to get that ankle monitor off?? No effort at all on the part of this show to make that seem authentic. Everyone else I just can't even stand. Tayler and Chance are too sad a storyline. Monique and her tiny husband, Aris and Tiny Montana (that sister had some SOLID BURNS on him), Montana Moron and his Jugalette, you can keep every one of them. I can't take it. I'm out!

Ugh, I didn't even TOUCH on this Nate stuff. I can't for the life of me understand what the show wants me to do with Nate. I can tell you if it's root for his redemption, they've done nothing to make his character amend or realize how his actions were super douchey. I'm currently rooting for that waitress to humiliate him, or for Nate's boss / Rebecca's ex to fuck her behind Nate's back (okay, maybe that last one's a little harsh!), because I can't figure out what the redeeming factor for Nate is. You can't make him into a villain, have him act like an ass this whole season, then literally just DECIDE he's a good dude again. There's nothing to show us that. Bad job show!

I guess I'm in the vast minority here, but this episode was ridiculous, and it seems to me that Lasso's one of these shows where the second I find something, some flaw in the armor of it, then all of a sudden it's ONLY the problems I can see. I feel like I need a folksy one liner to get me back on track here. The first sin here is there's no two ways around this, the Jack / Keely relationship is inappropriate and uncomfortable to watch. I'm sure it's mentioned above, but if Jack were a man (and I don't appreciate the cheap sleight of hand on the name, either), that relationship is far less cute than it is currently reading. The gift itself is inappropriate and announcing your relationship in front of the office doesn't make it better. THe Sam stuff; first, his dad is indeed Xoro Xarandoxos from Qarth and that was the best thing about his appearance. What happened at Sam's restaurant is clearly awful, but there's zero chance they get it all painted and back together in what feels like 24 hours, and you definitely can't just leave broken mirrors where food's going to be served without treating them. THere was no news coverage? Why not? The team would have definitely made a big deal out of that, it'd be everywhere! Speaking of being everywhere, I'm sorry but there's zero chance anyone would be employed at RIchmond the moment that string around the dicks thing got out to the press. Literally everyone in leadership would be fired. You simply can't do that with grown up men (OR ANYONE), I'm sorry, that was nonsense. I also hated the clearly for the audience history lesson on Total Soccer. I don't like when things all just work out perfectly, maybe I'm just a crab. I also hated last week's nonsense pillow fight in a hotel lobby, that's a BAD story for AFC Richmond, but here it's like "aren't those grayhounds cute." They're adults, folks. Pros.

I'm totally fine never thinking about where they get their fuel...until you make Han Solo say "we're almost out of gas," which breaks the magic they're relying on. It's not a problem until the writers make it one, then ignore that it WAS one, that's all I'm saying. You're inviting the questions as a writer that way.

THe jetpacks are confounding as hell. It's like when the Jedi forget they have command of the force. The problem you point out is just an unforced error by the writers. If you don't make running out of fuel a plot point in an earlier episode, no one cares about how much fuel a jet pack carries. Once you bring it into the equation, a certain segment of viewers (AKA hardcore fans like me) there's a giant ripple effect. Where do they get the fuel? The Mandos on The Land Before Time planet have no problem using their jetpacks to fight a space turtle, so there must be a SOURCE of the fuel on that planet, no? Where do they STORE the fuel, both on the planet and on their person (suddenly getting shot at while wearing a jetpack seems 100X more dangerous, since the fuel is volatile enough to apparently make a space filght from the surface)? Is there something inside the helmet that displays remaining fuel? Nothing would be a dumber way to die than to start a flight without enough fuel to finish it, right? If fuel isn't really an issue, then why use Gauntlets at all, can't you just drop out of orbit? I refuse to believe I'm the problem here.

Even the less "disturbing" stuff, like that poor kid having her bio dad revealed ON TELEVISION, it seems like these kids need an advocate in the production process to say "whoa, man, no one who is stoned at home waiting for one of these 'rap guys' to spit some terrible bars wants to watch a child get emotionally abused, guys, we need to get the kids into the hands of a caretaker for a couple hours."

This is a major problem with this show. Kids being involved take it from trashy but kinda fun to pass the time with to "prequel to disaster drama."

Yeah, that part I got, but I don't know, I guess I thought he went Mando-crazy, like one of those people my parents were friends with in the early 80's who were really into Japanese culture, like they wore kimonos on the regular, had Japanese characters framed on their wall, didn't know what they meant, ate all their meals with chopsticks, even though their names were like James and Amy Bukowski. Gideon seemed to really want to BE mandalorian. I don't know if the show ever explained why.

Like a beskar of quality the likes of which hadn't been seen in a thousand years? Because I'm pretty sure either the Armorer or Bo Katan described it that way in canon. The dark saber turned out to be a major narrative problem for this show. Mishandled at every turn, right up to the end. Let Bo Katan decide what happens to it, not Gideon. Can anyone remind me why Gideon's got such a boner for Mando culture? Is he of Mando descent, perhaps outcast for joining the Imperial ranks? I get that he wanted mandalorian blood for its warrior qualities, but he moves his base there, he has a helmet that's basically from the Maul era, I just wish among the many minor tweaks that could have been made in this season, this explanation was among them. I guess "power" isn't a good enough motivation for a villain for me.

I see what you did there.

I remember it as they were basically living on Fuck Mountain, but that might be my head canon.

Imagine being a Mandalorian and your name is KORKIE? Good luck sounding cool with that. Dude would dread every introduction, forever. "Boba Fett." "Paz Visla." "Axe Woves." "Hi fellas, nice to meet you, I'm Korkie."

Oh god, I hope it's Nick and Vanessa. Please please please please give us two bonus episodes of them counseling the couples. PLEASE. And you know they're not providing any counselors. Mental health, emotional stability and self awareness do not usually mix with love-based reality shows :).

I believe her learning to purify the kyber (sp) crystals was explained in her book. And if I recall correctly, Luke's lightsaber is built during the book Shadow of the Empire, which covered the gap between Empire and Jedi rather nicely. If I recall, he found directions basically at Ben's house on Tatooine.

I try to be as forgiving as possible with these shows, for sure, but I'm sorry, I just can't get past that this just isn't a good season of television. Yes, it's still a worthy star wars franchise, but I'm seeing a number of different issues. First, they don't seem to know what to do with Din and Grogu at all. That dynamic drove the first two seasons. I'm not saying it can't change, but the show needs a driving narrative, whatever it is. This doesn't have one, and if it does, it's not compelling. Maybe it's Bo Katan's story, but with two episodes to go, you have done zero work on the character and instead are relying on the uberdorks like me who would be like "Hey! Bo Katan Kryz, cool!" She's got an insane rich backstory, but we don't know who she really IS (you need to give her back story if you want the audience to care about her or the dark saber). Question fellow fans: are any of the episodes in this season better than the two episodes that were in Book of Boba Fett? Seems like a couple of real wasted bullets there, particularly as it eliminated one of the potential drives of this season (their reunion). My problem is there's 22 episodes of this show, and it seems 4 of the last 5 AT LEAST would be ranked below 15, without looking. DROID BARS?!?

Oooofff, forgot to mention the absolutely disturbing Puppy stuff. That dude is dope-nodding on television. He's intermittently incoherent, it's really, really hard to watch. That's a dangerous person that Puppy should be a million miles away from.

I watched it once, thought it was blah, then in a lull in Star Wars content, decided recently to go back and rewatch it. I think it's the best of the Disney era Star Wars. If you do watch it, it helps to know that it's basically four "sections" of story. I didn't know that when I put it on and I think it made the pace feel strange. But if you ever wanted a show where there are no skywalkers in sight, no one uses the force, and you can get a look at how the Empire worked, could not recommend it more highly.

Luthen Rael would like a word. The "what do you sacrifice" speech in Andor is for me the best speech in the history of the franchise. Although less useful for when you're pissed off at work :).

That episode is sooooooo good. While the last two, the nicest thing I can say about them is that they're definitely in the top 20 episodes in the history of the show.

This is totally sensible, but does that mean only after marriage? What's wrong with me, why do I care how a Mandalorian gives their beau a handjob, do they both need masks on? How would you know what you were doing was right?!? The code frigging sucks, man. Same as the Jedi code.

Look everybody, I love this show. I really, really do. But I'm on record as having hated the last episode (no apologies, the adventures of Dr. Pershing was a complete shitshow for me), and while this one is a step toward more what I like, it felt "off" for a couple of reasons. First, the training stuff just rubbed me the wrong way. I didn't like the way it felt like Din was pushing Grogu, for one thing. I really didn't like how it resolved, either, with the weird looking double flip over then shooting with paintball darts. Firstly, isn't that basically a quick draw contest? That's not really training as much as checking your training to this point. But more importantly, having him freeze the paintballs mid-air (or trying to and failing the first time or two) would have told us a lot more about Grogu than the bizarre looking flip thing. Really though the thing that sticks out is HOW they talk. Everything's super formal, completely non-conversational, and in this particular episode, I felt like we were hearing a lot of "this is what I'm currently doing at this very second, but if I don't say it, the audience won't know". "I'm plotting a course to intercept them," for example. I hate that. And I thought the whole thing was that a 'foundling' was essentially an orphan. Ragnar is directly related to Vizla, so is he NOT a foundling? Weren't they all supposed to be foundlings? Ugh, enough with the code. And don't pretend I'm the only one who heard that thing about them eating and thought, wait, is that how they fuck, with their helmets on??? How do they perform {WIFE CUTS ME OFF}...

Woof, I hate this show so much, thank god baseball is going to be back this week. First of all, there's the whole nonsense with Blaine's "house arrest." I'm putting it in quotes because I don't for one second believe that situation is anywhere near real. There's no way that was a real lawyer like three weeks ago, the guy with the borrowed suit, taking a meeting in someone's mom's dining room on their glass table. I don't have the interest level to look and see if that guy's even facing charges, but my suspicion is the ENTIRE thing, charges on down, is fake. Even that ankle bracelet. This show tried to get me to believe that when the cameras just happened to be there, Lindsey is so overwhelmed by desire for this guy that she's mounting him and disrobing him in front of cameras...and that this is the first time she'll have seen him naked since that deal? More than one couple this week pretended like they were about to have sex in front of the camera only to have it kaiboshed for reasons other than "WE ARE FILMING A TELEVISION SHOW" this week. Red flag for me. THe Shawn stuff was straight ridiculous. I hate those two. I wanted nothing more in life than to have one of those balloons break. WTF grown up person does that, fills up water balloons and puts the in her shirt? Then we're supposed to believe that her husband is like "Let's have sex" right then? Come on now. I like Britney and Marcelino I guess, she seems to have an idea about life now, but I'm getting less comfortable with people drinking on television. She's clearly loaded at the end. Marcelino is in for a very, very long sentence of hearing about his indiscretions in her drunken rages, man. Either forgive and move on, or break it off. I know it's not that easy, trust me, but those really are you r only two choices. If she's acting, then she's a pretty good actress.

Thanks so much, because now I can't get a fictional sex tape with these two hapless morons out of my brain. First of all, no way he has the coordination to figure out the sex swing without hurting both himself and whatever this woman's name is. And you're wrong about the bolded. That water was like soup made an hour and a half ago and left on the stove, and probably smelled like BO when he got out of the tub. So gross!!!

Ahem. Sir or madame, they were champagne glass shaped fiber glass tubs, at (sing it now) beautiful mount airy lodge...please! Also eta that ypu forgot the detail that the sex swing was supposedly installed by her mom. If THAT doesn't get the old sausage plumping, not sure what will! also spot on about the rose petals. As a man I'd never do that because someone has to clean all that up.

I also loved the hi-tech they used to foil the turnstile.