Fake Jan Brady

Thank goodness Paul is wild in the sack*, otherwise Sam may have dumped the dummy [*that's what he meant by "other things", right?] I'm pretty sure Karen was reassessing her relationship somewhere around Bert's tenth attempt. When is killer fatigue going to hit Team Givers? Surely they can't keep up that level of annoying for the entire race...? That horse roadblock didn't seem as fiendishly difficult as most TAR Canada tasks.

Asaga might be the dullest tribe in the history of the game if the only thing worth covering over two episodes is those freakin' cookies. What happened to Sam"s paranoia and Henry's willingness to throw challenges to be rid of her? I'd even settle for more of Sam and Mark's lopsided showmance. Judging from Aimee's exit speech we lost some primo bogan TV gold before we ever really knew her.

Tarzan should have slipped the idol to Tessa on the down low, as the tribe [at that stage] had declared they were voting en masse for her, so her single vote could have booted Lockie. It seems strategy wasn't Tarzan's strong point. I got tired of hearing about Jericho's cookies looooong before the editors did.

Luke seems to be modelling his gameplay on Russell Hantz's chaos theory with a dash of Tony V's spy shack thrown in, making him doubly annoying [though his tactile friendship with Jericho is kind of sweet]. AK and Sam are also annoying. I'm sure there will be others when everybody in this huge cast gets some facetime. I'm disappointed Henry's yoga teacher ruse seems to have gone nowhere; surely Sarah would have requested a session in that stressful first week?

After I spent the first two episodes working out who was who, I decided the cousins were going to be my team...and out they went in Episode Three. So I swap my allegiance to Zed and his dad...yeesh; at least I got a double leg before they were booted. I'm really living up to my user name's reputation. I don't dare mention who I'm cheering for now. It seemed a little random that one team member could make both cups in the pottery challenge two episodes ago but both had to do the surfing one [I'm mostly annoyed 'cause Zed did it so fast] At least Shabbir got one of his Dad jokes used as the episode's title. That fall Ginger Boyfriend took on the way to Jon looked like it really hurt.

Plus Zed looked best in the speedo. Father/Son and Brother/Sister top my rankings. Then almost everyone else. Big gap. Then Super Annoying SnowBros.

Your comment made me curious enough to research. Joey is 46, Tara is 38. There's hardly a generation gap between them and Brooke, who is [wait for it...] 36 and Scott, 34. London and Logan are the babies of the finalists - both are 27.

GOGO LOLO! Phil, to Brooke and Scott at the mat: "If ever there was a time to finish first, it was this leg". Next leg, Phil; that's the one to win.

After the heartbreak of that ending I can only take solace in the fact that Logan, Redmond and Matt were standing around shirtless at the beginning of the second episode. I went back and read Floyd's bio on the official site and the country he most wanted to visit was Italy [check] but the saddest bit was his answer to what he most hoped to accomplish: "...I just hope to push myself harder than I ever have before and enjoy the ride!" He certainly did the former, but not the latter [yes, I realise he means the race, not the bicycle, but I appreciated the double meaning]. Plus Team Fun won two legs and trips to Argentina and the Galapagos Islands. So I'm comforting myself with that. I guess I want Team Invisible to win now; I can't understand why London and Logan get so little screen time when they're both likeable and easy on the eye.

Man oh man, Greece is scenic: the pitstop greeter, the guy at the racetrack, [some of] the military dudes. I'm surprised the marching instructor didn't confuse more people with his insistence on "mirroring" when they weren't [the rifles would have been on their other shoulder if they were looking in a mirror].

I'm fairly sure Debbie will start her jury speech with "As a former winner of Survivor..."

Valentina in drag: ridiculously beautiful. Valentina out of drag: also ridiculously beautiful. That's all I got. I'm a very superficial man.

'Cause you can't win an argument against crazy.

Two seasons, two adorable winners. Gotta love that success rate. Take note, adult version. It was hilarious how Chelsea's parents still couldn't let go of the time management thing, even in her moment of glory. Brilliant.

Someone should remind Aya that DIY is exactly what these kids are asked to do every. single. week. but points to her for nailing the perfect description of Izzy's dancing emoji dress. You'd think these designers had never cut a piece of fabric before, the way they were Freddy Kruger-ing their way through Mood. Poor Molly; what a kick in teeth to be told the other two were getting to design collections while she was already wallowing in an elimination funk. At least I know what religion Tieler's model is now...

Tieler: "The inspiration was, like, the Islamic domes on all the cathedrals and everything". I love these kids' word salad justifications.

Perfect description! The judges be crazy. I also blame Tim; if he hadn't wasted his save on whiny Urkel he could've saved the lovely Allie.

Madison Maxey reminded me of Miss DiPesto from Moonlighting. I want Allie to win now for her no-nonsense shutdown of Chris.

Hard to believe he's the same age as Maya was last year.

T-I-E-L-E-R. Groan. [I realise the fault lies with his Moms, but it annoys me anyway]. Gurl, with their attitudes I'm fully expecting to see Tyler, Chris & Rene in about five years time on RuPaul's Drag Race.

The true hero of the episode was the tattooed Mood worker who had to listen to Urkel take the scenic route on the way to his question. I'm not immediately in love with any of these kids yet, but it since half the cast stayed in the background this week I'll wait and see. I was warming to Daisy-Head Mayzie but she lost me with her pretentious "hot in Japan" explanation. It was kind of shocking when Chris had his little hissy fit; I don't recall any attitude last season.

How did Adam sweep the votes with that Final Tribal performance? Jay must've been talking him up at Ponderosa. I was hoping Adam wouldn't bring up his mother's story but I guess Ken forced him after the "I'm doing this for my daughter" tears. Oh Ken; if you think it's complicated now...

I wonder if Brandon had to share the Uber back to LA with Robert & Eric?

I don't know what he said but I read an interview in which he said he didn't take the deal; his body just gave out.

Which puts Flick in the power position at final 5.