Fake Jan Brady

Get some, David! I loved the callback to the red wine/white wine conversation. My living room got a little dusty at the end there. Wow, I'd completely forgotten Mutt's lineage.

Stevie: If you're talking about your body, I think you still look amazing. Moira: Then allow me to offer you some advice. Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now. You may currently think "oh, I'm too spooky" or "nobody wants to see these tiny boobies" but, believe me, one day you will look at those photos with much kinder eyes and say "dear god, I was a beautiful thing". Stevie: Will I...? Moira: Mmmm. Oh, and make sure you SUBMIT those photos to the internet otherwise your own children will go looking for them one day and, tragically, they won't be there.

If Derrick makes it to Snatch Game is she going to do Britney? 'Cause that bitch has already been served. Runner up: Laila - for #collegedick But Thorgy Thor had me at Tilda Swinton. Plus "I find hashtags annoying". Gilda Radner shoutout! Dollar wig. "Drag should be fun" - Amen, sister.

Standing in front of an audience at 14/15/16 would have been the end of me, let alone producing something so creative and then being judged on it. My unfashionable hat is off to these kids [even the ones who were cut early...who I'd completely forgotten about until we saw them in the audience]. I was awfully tense when it came down to Maya and Samantha - I gave up watching the "adult" version when the judges choose Gretchen over Mondo so I couldn't take another fiasco. Thankfully these judges [who I really enjoyed through the season] made the decision I was hoping for. Of course the real winners are Maya's parents - they've got a college fund to blow now!

I'm already steeling myself for the revelation that their parents are going to be younger than me. I enjoyed the episode but it was incredibly repetitive. Talking head interviews about their inspirations, then again to Tim and then again to the judges. We get it. Leader! Old soul! Middle school! Ribcage!

At least Maggs got the final word.

Hmmm, I wonder if we'll get a Carol or Hateful 8 themed challenge now we're into Oscar season? I wish Hannah explained what she saw in Matt's aesthetic 'cause it wasn't showing up on screen. Odd that Amanda was introduced as having been on two seasons but the other three "old people" being on All-Stars wasn't worth mentioning.

So Mary and Tom didn't end up together and Violet didn't die overseas. Remind me not to ask anyone around here for footy tips or lottery numbers. ;-) I wonder how much Harriet Walter got paid to basically be a featured extra at the wedding? At least Barrow perked up enough to attend the nuptials.

Was that a journalist or the founder of TripAdvisor?

I was distracted throughout by just how expensive this episode must have been to shoot; that entire race set-up with the vintage cars and hordes of extras? And all for something so dull and predictable. There's no way Violet's going out without a snappy exit line.

I hope Thomas's teaching materials are from his own personal library and we get a scene of Andy stumbling over passages from the hot off the press 'Death in Venice'.

TMZ "reporters"? Paparazzi photographers? I'm surprised they didn't cast Perez Hilton since they were clearly scraping the bottom of the barrel for the worst of humanity.

After tonight's episode, i'll get a lot of enjoyment watching four of these people suffer. Come on, Brent & Sean; you're my only hope.

Sean [the puker] and Brent are brothers, not a couple; maybe that's why they seem so similar.

Now that Nick/Matt have finally secured their long desired leg win, things are looking good for Simi/Ope if TAR Canada's "win no leg but the last one" legacy holds up. Although, if this was TAR Classic, I'd suspect Gino/Jesse's heartwarming story about their single mother was some kind of harbinger. Legs through India always confirm my suspicion I'd be a terrible Racer. Two legs? That's just cruel. "He has to wash the throw-up off the side of his vehicle" and "Hello, I'll be wrapping your head today". Oh Sean, don't ever change. Those volunteers for the turban challenge are also made of sterner stuff than me [although that showy judge was clearly a frustrated Bollywood wannabe]. This episode was so much more entertaining without Brian & Cynthia misery-ing it up.

I'm still in denial over that one.

Sure, it's happened on both seasons of TAR Canada, but in TAR Classic it's only happened three times in twenty-six seasons: Kisha & Jen [season 18], the Beekman Boys [season 21] and Amy & Maya [season 25]. My favourite bit this episode? A tie between Dujean & Leilani's disbelief at John's "You're team number one" and Sean giving Brent his headband to protect him from any further head injuries during the yoga challenge [awww...].

This week in Brian's incorrect declarations: "I can't do this, I know my body" [then immediately completes task] and "it won't be way out here" [and there it is]. If he wasn't so pissy he'd be hilarious. My favourite bit this ep? Simi shutting down Ope's "when I was a kid I wanted to be a pilot" story. "He has a lot to say". Great leg. I'm loving this season.

I was so sure it was going to be Nic and/or Sabrina, ending their misadventures with a classic exit line. Brian's over-confidence is getting to be a hilarious running joke; I just hope he never tries his hand at acting after his over-the-top attempt at pretending he had no idea what to do at a crime scene ["I hope I don't mess this up! I don't know the first thing about policing! What is this?! Just like on TV!!"] As entertaining as Brent & Sean were at the Synchronised Swimming task, I was disappointed it wasn't the other set of brothers in speedos. And as an Australian I guess it's safe for me to say this: I had no idea Alex Trebek was Canadian.

Surprisingly, Gino and Jesse aren't twins. Gino is 28, Jesse is 25. Coincidentally, the other brother team are also 28 (Sean) and 25 (Brent). Loved keeping "keep racing" a secret until the end [although I had wondered why we saw earlier teams jog off the mat]. My favourite bit: After bragging about being a master of detail, Brian declaring "I've never milked a bull".

Microphone packs. Fun episode, sad ending. I'm getting to like more and more teams, and I was totally sucked into Leilani's home town victory. My favourite bit: Sean attempting to butch up his reaction post squeal.

A three way race for elimination and the most likeable team of the trio goes home; oh TAR, you can be so cruel at times. I don't understand why Nic & Sabrina took the penalty when there were so many teams with them at the soccer shootout and it was still early in the leg [and they had their huge Spanish language advantage]. My favourite bit of the episode: Cynthia completely mumblemouthing the [sponsor]card spiel at the pitstart. The father/daughter teams now are my faves. Simi/Ope were already up there, but Neil & [especially] Kristen's reaction to their prizes zoomed them up my charts.

Gino and Jesse ran from one Detour to the other, so it couldn't have been too far away. I'd guess it's easy to get caught up in the thought of winning a leg [and a holiday] and forget about the long term consequences.

A series of unfortunate events [slow out of the airport and getting to the murals] and inauspicious choices [choosing the Emotion detour even though they'd earlier mangled the language, telling the cab driver to wait "one minute" on a street with no parking, thinking running was a better option than getting another cab, trusting a stranger who didn't know left from right]. They're pretty...but they're kind of dumb.

I wasn't paying full attention mid-way through the introductions and initially thought Nick & Sabrina were an Italian brother/sister team; I awwwed when she said they loved one another but hit the rewind button awfully fast when they revealed their hobby was cuddling. Of course she soon zoomed to the top of the annoying charts, tied with the gay brother who got bitchy with the cab driver. It was so chaotic at the TSN challenge I had no idea what was going on...and I was only watching. The [insert sport team name here] mascot at the end was a bit of a scene stealer.