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Eldemarge

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Everything posted by Eldemarge

  1. Eldemarge
    This new guy, Caleb. Probably a douche. That is all.
  2. Eldemarge
    This looks super pretty and I would now like to get married in Mexico. Maybe when I early retired to Baja, I'll meet an expat widower with a boat and he'll be crazy about me and I'll get a sweet tan and only wear long dresses. Definitely happening.
  3. Eldemarge
    I'm bored so now I'm watching youtube tarot readings.
  4. Eldemarge
    Steven, you think you're adorable but I assure you, we all HATE YOU.
  5. Eldemarge
    Jenny either looks like she's thinking hard or her eyebrows have been drawn on weird.
  6. Eldemarge
    I'm here for y'all and not for Kenny's crying and Questionable Weddings!
  7. Eldemarge
    THANK YOU. I remember being passed a customer by the phone team once and the guy talked to me for a few seconds and then wanted to talk to the Firewall Guy. I was like "I'm the Firewall Guy." This was ages ago but the struggle is real.
  8. Eldemarge
    Did you hear that, Mike's Ex? He's got a job now so go get that child support!
  9. Eldemarge
    !!! CHOCOLATE MILK !!!
  10. Eldemarge
    And he has a 6-pack for no reason. OH and his bachelor pad is decorated perfectly for the holidays, even though he lives alone.
  11. Eldemarge
    "Took the house, took the car..." Okay but she also has to raise your four kids, so maybe that is okay?? And I doubt the divorce was just out of the blue like he says.
  12. Eldemarge
    These Lifetime/Hallmark Christmas movies really got Every Room in the House decorated and I don't know why that makes me crazy.
  13. Eldemarge
    And he is not paying for those eggs. I bet Mom is at the grocery store every couple of days so her little boy can eat.
  14. Eldemarge
    I can't get over the fact that someone agreed to have sex with him four times.
  15. Eldemarge
    He reminds me of my delusional and lazy man friend who talks a big game about The Future but actually intends on doing nothing. Just likes to hear himself talk like he's going to make things happen. And years go by...nothing changes.
  16. Eldemarge
    This is the man that was complaining about showering and now he thinks he's going to take care of four kids? (Obviously, his parents will do all the work.) I think he just wants an identity besides mouth-breathing video-gaming basement dweller. Or hates his ex and wants to hurt her. Or both?
  17. Eldemarge
    Maybe he can get one of his cool Xbox friends to move with him.
  18. Eldemarge
    Just in case we forgot they exist... COLD SHOULDER TOP
  19. Eldemarge
    Please lord, do not give this useless man custody of his kids.
  20. Eldemarge
    It's that gross birth control beard.
  21. Eldemarge
    "I'm following the diet..." So tell me about the mayonaise you just put on the counter.
  22. Eldemarge
    I bet his lump sees his kids exactly every 8 weeks, while he has his parents entertain them and he plays video games in the basement. Enough with this devoted dad bullshit.
  23. Eldemarge
    Don't make him move. It will be "stressful" and he'll have to eat 30 Moons Over My Hammys to deal with it.
  24. Eldemarge
    Dr Now: "Nobody gives a shit about your concussions, give me a break."
  25. Eldemarge
    Thirty-seven. And still sad about college football.
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