Eldemarge

I am on birth control AND am bringing condoms juuuuust in case!

Guys, I should be leaving for Canada this week (if I get a negative Covid test back in time!), so I will be absent for the next two 90 Day Fun Nights! Just in case anyone will be wondering where I am and if I'm making out with anybody yet. Maybe I will make out with someone in Canada. OR EVERYONE. :) I will be missing you, Primetimer Fam!

The baby isn't going to like being on a plane with a stranger, poor thing.

Alina, don't leave out the part where he isn't actually going to marry you yet because he's a flakey-ass man child who lies about his intentions. You mom might find that part interesting.

Doesn't SteVen look clammy? Like if you shook his hand, it would be that clammy, dead fish handshake? And then he'd say something monumentally stupid while you were shaking it, just trying to let go so you could wipe off your hand somewhere.

Oooooooh Bitch, we are MOVING IN!

If I had to communicate with some dolt through my phone's language app like that, I don't think I could feel the hornies. But that's just me.

@Hotel Snarker, I'm so sorry you went through that! I can't stay away from Facebook either, even though I don't actually see the value in it. I just spy on bizarre FB groups and look at peoples' pet pictures. But you're safe here!!! And my birthday is in April so that means I have to live with Angela. Oh man, I have a feeling she isn't going to like me asking her to please not smoke indoors.

Oh no, I just saw this @Auntie Anxiety! Starting my new job tomorrow morning AND no, I haven't made out with the coworker yet but I did tell him I was down if he's interested and I was feeling some "I don't hate this idea" coming from his end but I think he was also stunned. I'm pretty blunt about these things. I promise to report back if anything happens with this situation in the future! Thanks for thinking of me!

I'm betting she's trying to drag this out (first it was a "month," but on the facetime, she said it had been two months...) and just trying to come up with whatever-the-hell to fight about so she can act like HE did something horribly wrong and MADE HER not come back. Because reasons.

Okay so Steven brushed his teeth. FOR THE CAMERAS. Do not be fooled!!!

So I really need to stay out of the Relationship subreddit, but you know these posts that talk about boyfriends never washing themselves but still expecting blowies? And actually KEEPING girlfriends (who want to "help"), even though there has to be some raunchy UTIs in their lives caused by their gross man-children boyfriends? Those are the girls who will sleep with Steven. We want to believe nobody would and have more self-respect than that but now I know that SOMEBODY would. This is why I need to stay out of that sub. It's too depressing.

Lol he's like "Well the baby is going back with her, but who is going to Actually Take Care of the baby?? (Cuz it damn well won't be my spoiled bitch wife)"

Please let this be true. This is the twist we need.

"Why should I bathe? Jesus didn't bathe."

OMG these dudes like Steven. Future-fakers.

Jenny travels to India in her 50s to bang a virgin 20-something in his parent's house (as a guest!) and somehow Sumit's MOM is the one who needs "professional help." GTFO of here, Jenny. As a mom of 19 and 22 year old boys, this lady grosses me tf out.

I can't wear pink eyeshadow. It makes me look like I have a rash. I'm jealous of people who can pull it off.

Congratulations, @Trackdawg!!! I hope your local bruja blesses you with happiness but you need to make sure you have enough owls statues in your house first. Do we think Steven brushes his teeth A. Once every other day or B. Monthly or C. Never but chews on a soggy toothpick sometimes.

Alright, I have to mute this. SteVen's voice is so grating. I'll just guess what's going on by everyone's posts...

Of course he's the "shoes on the couch" type. Of course.

Good night, awesome internet friends!

OMG his precious papa.

The only thing I actually believe about this Corey/Evelin saga is that Corey can't get it up.

I don't actually care, but is Corey saying they got married, and then "broke up?" And then went to another country and found another girlfriend? These people are SO MESSY. I hope they do not breed.