Eldemarge

I mean, they do have that full-time job of running all over the neighborhood getting him food and then climbing all those stairs... And probably also cleaning up his apartment. I could see all that burning some major calories.

My friend just offered her very nice Brooklyn apartment to me to stay in next year when she goes on her sabbatical and I have the option to work remote. My FIRST thought was all the awesome bagels I will have access to. This could either be awesome or a terrible mistake.

Sounds like you're doing awesome!!

This man I used to work with (he was like 24, so pretty young) was like 40 lbs overweight and managed to get some drugs from his doctor that helped him with weight loss and he got down to a normal weight with no problems. Can't this poor guy get some similar to help with with his giant appetite? There has to be some doctor in New York that can write him a prescription for something so he's not spending a zillion dollars a day on food. I guess if he could, we wouldn't have him on the show but I just want him to get immediate help and not stuff himself into a van to drive down to Texas!

I'm not really a cake person, but that cake looked bomb.

Oh trust me, I could get fat in New York...

It kills me when they say stuff like "I was 450 lbs by the time I was 14." Like who was taking care of this child?? Nobody? Holy hell.

Hi Pounders! I made a homemade veggie, pureed soup tonight and it's good. I included two veggies I've never had before: turnips and parsnips. I will definitely make it again. Is this our first New Yorker? Bless him, he's so close to such good food.

Happy holidays, friends! I'll be here next Sunday, ready to snark. Possibly eating sugary things.

Please let this be true.

Gino is ready to spread his defective 52 year-old seed. Dating with good gifts? Nahh... Marriage first?? Too difficult. He's here to impregnate you on his vacation!

Soooooo pretty! Do I need to buy some big hoops now? Maybe I do.

I wonder if people go to see Usman sing live and are shocked that he can't carry a tune whatsoever.

I did the MOST for my last trip to Canada because I was supposed to hook up with my friend (facial, nails, hair, wax, etc). I showed up looking like an angel and he hadn't cleaned his apartment or even gotten a haircut. I said NEVERMIIIIND, this is not going to happen.

Kim is about to make a giant ass out of herself for television and I don't GET it.

Get a haircut, hippie.

What sort of liquor are you going to add? I'm in the market for a Christmas boozy drink.

He did NOT move to Oregon to "help a dying friend." He is still on that damn chair and will die there.

Okay so according to Lying Blobman, he SACRIFICED going to see his dying friend in Oregon for this diet buuuut can't find a way to Texas. How was he planning on getting to Oregon? Dude, we're not stupid. None of this shit tracks. I mean, holy victim complex!

Oh. Okay, I get it now. He's actually a pathological liar.

Wait, did he say he's been ignoring a dying friend because he's on a diet?? And that's how "committed" he is? WTF, that makes zero sense.

Look, I just want him to be weighed at Dr Now's and realize he hasn't lost shit and then watch him have an absolute meltdown. We've seen enough of him lying to himself and sinking into a recliner.

Allow me: Video games, Reddit, Scalp-picking, Fappery.

Exactly, don't uproot your life and move for this grown-ass obese liar who has NO intention of making a real effort to improve things.

#delusion #liar