nutella fitzgerald

All the suggestions for how Mike can find a woman who won’t sponge off of him fail to acknowledge that he pretty much went looking for a transactional relationship. It’s like coming up with ideas for where Darcey can buy sensible knee-length skirts and crewneck sweaters.

It’s just so very Mike to start with the last name Berkowitz and “improve” it to Berk.

Kimbally is probably in hog heaven watching Ben with his one glove for bronzer application. Since Ben is about as close to Michael Jackson as Usman. Who hates Mike more, Ximena or his translator? And can anyone clarify if it’s normal to put your children to sleep in bed with your boyfriend on the second occasion they meet? I thought it was odd with Deavan and Drascilla and it still makes me feel a little icked out here.

I wondered if this was how Ashely ended up on the show. She doesn’t seem close with any of the other three, and her first WLS wasn’t even ten years ago. Her insurance easily could have told her to kick rocks if she asked them to pay for a second surgery, and the TLC discount might be her best financial option.

Corey has entered the chat.

He…did show up in the comments. His contributions consisted of “Fuck I did not shit myself” and “I am not a sex tourist”. I don’t say this very often, but I think a language barrier might be just what Mike needs to have a functional relationship.

Anyone else think that once Ximena does start up her OnlyFans, she’s going to make Mike pay full price to view her content? There is Ella. Or there might be. I’m not yet convinced that Ella isn’t an SNL character poking fun at Americans.

Is Jamal the best-looking person to ever appear on any 90 Day show? And he has common sense! 😍

I already felt bad for Tai’s kids before she brought Umberto out to show everyone. Those kids have to show their faces at school, Tai! Keep Umberto in the nightstand when the cameras are around!

A bit like when Tristan requested that his bride be lighter-skinned but never said anything about whether or not outstanding warrants mattered.

Did exactly ten people apply for this show? This is some of the all time worst matchmaking. My God. These experts are so terrible at it, the three of them together couldn’t win a game of Memory.

Didn’t Mike change the location on his Tinder? It sounded like he was specifically avoiding American women, kind of like Jorge.

I might watch him carrying a boom box playing that song while he goes around San Bartolo with his filtered picture of her, as if she’s one of the missing children from the music video. Extra points since I think some of them didn’t want to be found, either.

“Daughter? What daughter?” — Ben’s answer to this question, probably This show makes me seriously consider writing to POTUS to suggest adding a Secretary of Public Relations to the Cabinet because this show really isn’t doing much for how we look as a nation.

I noticed that we saw the nutritionist, then a “4 hours later” screen and the physical therapist showed up. I would love to hear what the nutritionist told Dr. Now to get him to send PT over there that quickly.

I’m just shocked by her ability to cry in every episode. She is on pace to outcry some of the heaviest hitters of the franchise. Johnny thinks this woman is fit to be a stepparent? What would his 6-year-old make of a woman who was the size of both his grandparents put together, spoke zero words of his native language, AND cried more than any of the weepiest children in his school? I know I asked Jamal to rescue Ximena’s kids, but I’m sure he could scoop up Stony as well. I bet they would all get over any language barrier really quickly to share war stories about their parents’ odd choices in partners.

I have nothing to add here. I’m just so pleased by the thought of Ex-Wife Ben messing with him and so happy to be reminded of this iconic moment in reality television 😂

What they lack in looks, they make up in efficiency of American dollar harvest. Ximena’s older son actually looks just like her, so maybe her features work better on a male face. I believe that is what they call a “handsome woman”?

I hadn’t observed Tammy to be the most intelligent of the siblings, but it makes sense. It would definitely explain her frustration at seeing all of them advance through their lives while hers either remains stagnant or gets worse — “I know I’m smarter than them, so why are they able to do this simple thing I can’t?” type of thing. She also probably recognizes that until she started drinking heavily, Chris and Amy had habits that weren’t much better than hers but justified themselves because they weren’t as large as Tammy. During Dr. Smith’s house call, Tammy also seemed more self aware than any of the times Amy has been called out on behaving dangerously (eating a burrito right after surgery, Chinese food hospital visit when she was pregnant). Amy always tries to blow it off like she’s doing something cute, even when she was putting her health and her child’s at risk.

Is there a way for Kim’s son Jamal to rescue Ximena’s little boys so all three of them can be protected from their mothers’ bad decisions?! I was cringing when Mike took the kids for a fatherly chat. Don’t tell those sweet kids you’re going to be their dad unless and until you know that for a fact!

That and Kim will sleep with a Black man.

Why is Kimbally getting her son involved in her negotiations for the yammy yammy? Good God, Kimbally, that is an even worse decision than the cheap nightgown you selected for your seduction mission.

This was disgusting, and Ximena truly sounded like a mother explaining to a child of 6 or so when she said “you can’t leave your dirty tissue in this car, it isn’t yours”. I wonder if Mike leaves used tissues in other people’s cars in America, or if he would appreciate having to handle a stranger’s mucus-filled trash. The ADHD excuse fell flat for me. If you can’t be trusted to keep your snot to yourself, your problems are far worse than ordinary “forgetfulness”.

I think thirsty-ass Elijah’s hopes and dreams of fame have also been dashed. Too bad so sad. Did anyone predict Alina being fired by the network even before her couple’s thread got a title?

Omg, could that pair of trolls Alina and Elijah be any creepier? They definitely set Caleb up to be walked in on, right?