Victor the Crab

It's a good thing Twitter wasn't around when Jon was in his late twenties. Otherwise, he would have been posting shit far worse than what Trevor did, which was a thimble of his total tweets. I don't give a fucking shit what Trevor posted on his Twitter account in the past. I give a shit how someone from another hemisphere can acclimate himself in the understanding of American politics and culture and successfully hold the torch Jon passed to him. I'll be watching Trevor on Sept. 28 with a critical eye on that.

A good Republican candidate, probably. President of the United States of America, no way.

George Pataki is the stupid douche that said, during the 2004 Republican convention, that Osama Bin Laden made a huge mistake in attacking America because George W. Bush was the president and that he was going to hunt him down and give him justice. Then whined like a spoiled, bratty child in saying that Barack Obama was bragging about hunting down Bin Laden and giving him justice - the very thing he said Bush would do but never bothered carrying out - and that he was shaming and disgracing the office of the presidency for doing so. Jon was the one who brought both things up. That in itself should disqualify stupid douche George Pataki from ever running for ANYTHING ever again.

If losers like Donald Trump, Lindsey Graham, Rick Santorum, and George Pataki can keep Jon from stepping down in early August, then I say more power to their pathetic selves. And the idea that Jon is like everybody else in the media when it comes to talking about Bernie Sanders should be put to bed with a 100% proof alcohol consumed for sleeping. It's clear Jon has a lot of respect for Sanders ideas, even though the guy could make a small investment in hair products for himself. Nice that Matt Harvey gave Jon a personalized Mets jersey, but I skimmed through the entire interview because only die in the wool Mets fans, like Jon, would care to watch this. Ron Darling and Mike Piazza are two that come to mind. But, as I've stated, only die in the wool Mets fans, like Jon, would care about this.

The only thing about liberty and freedom Rand Paul believes in is the right for people to act out as bigoted and douchey as they want without any repercussions. He's no different from any other Republican in the field. Why anyone thinks he's different and reasonable is beyond me. I hope Ollie's coverage of the FIFA scandal is better than Jon's. He officially lost me at the Rachel. FIFA can say they won't change World Cup venues for Qatar and Russia, but they did for the 1986 WC when they gave it to Mexico after Columbia economic and social problems made it too much for them to host it, so the U.S. still has a chance for it. And I would love to see FIFA head Sepp Blather in handcuffs and wearing an orange jumpsuit, the corrupt fat bastard.

Oh you just know Ollie's going to be in schadenfreude glee when he talks about this Sunday night.

Who better to unite Americans than an ignorant two-faced divider like Rand Paul?[/sarcasm] I hope Jon continues his fresh-out-of-fucks approach since announcing his stepping down as host to verbally slap this disdainful, condescending coloscopybag.

Hey! I like Midnight Oil. Especially their album Diesel And Dust. They can have Rupert Murdoch and Mel Gibson. But could they send more Australian Rules Football this way please? Just askin'. How do Ollie and LWT come up with these main topics? One would never think about the plight of chicken growers in America. But holy Christ, that is some fucked up shit these industries in Big Chicken are pulling on them.

Ewwww. Don't give me any bad mental images please. After asking Jeb Bush a question like that, it wouldn't surprise me to think Roger Ailes would summon Megyn Kelly into his office so she'd be on the receiving end of several dozen horse whippings across her bare ass (and it wouldn't surprise me to think Ailes would enjoy it). But seriously, would the Liberal Mainstream Media™ go after Jeb the way they go after Hillary? (don't answer, as we already know what it would be). Is there one more Back in Black before Jon signs off for good? I figured Jon would pay Letterman a tribute before he would host his last show. WHY DIDN'T I CALL IT HERE???!!!

President Obama has shown he has no fucks to give regarding Fox News. And neither does Jon. Picking on the poor, then denying you've picked on them when there's video evidence that says otherwise. Everyone who participated, line up for your beatings with a sack of doorknobs, starting with you Stu Varney you documented piece of shit you.

Interesting video. I wonder what other types of sausages were being served to Samantha? Kosher (Jon)? Spicy (Kimmel)? Indelibly rancid (Bill Maher)? And I also can't help but wonder if they shot a second version of that with Samantha saying "I have a sudden interest in clams!" but decided not to put it out there because it looked too risqué.

Mike Huckabee, fuck off! Trying to pimp a snake oil remedy for diabetes does not qualify you to be dog catcher, much less president. Even with his idiot of a brother lending him a hand, Jeb Bush still looks like best choice for Republican nominee when you compare him to the ever growing passengers in the GOP clown car. And I could have really done without Jordan as Warren G. Harding's ghost. So unnecessary. If it's all well and good, I'll keep my dadbod covered up (and I'm not even a dad). Pride goeth before the fall, you know. Good of Kristen and Jon to show the double standards of body shapes for men and women. Continued best health for Tom Brokaw.

Richard Quest is a fucking knob. I kept waiting for Ollie to show up and scold Jon over his "bad" attempt at creating a British Daily Show. Has anybody noticed Jon doesn't say "Helllll-lOOOOOO!!!!!" anymore? And now, he's an executive producer of an HBO documentary. Is there nothing John Legend can't do that isn't awesome?

Calllllllled iiiiiiiit!!!!! Although, to be fair, that wasn't the least bit difficult. Trained Russian Seals >>>>> Russia's 70 year celebration of V-E Day. Not rub it in by any means, but here in Canada we give women a full year of paid maternity leave. I can tell you, just from a family reunion, that my female cousins from Michigan were extremely jealous of my sister and the time off she received from giving birth to two sons. But then again, men of the conservative tilt in the U.S. do tend to view women a little possessively.

And I imagine Ollie would lead the show off with the British elections and how they unfolded.

Ahh, you know that story selection thing is rigged. Otherwise, everybody would choose Jon to eat an Arby's value meal. I know I would have >:D. And what would have been better was if they had dubbed Megyn Kelley's voice with someone doing a bad Harvey Fierstein impression. Jon not wanting to judge Tom Brady over Deflategate if he were a New York Giant shows his true feelings about this. His hatred of all things Boston sports is well documented. Perhaps he and Denis Leary can have a nice chat about it in August.

God, I hope not. At this point, Williams' is damaged goods. Besides, there's an investigation going on involving any more lies he spewed in past. And so far, no good for him.

Well that got a little weird and silly with Jon and Al. At least I enjoyed seeing Al again.

There's a meme going around that says "Ted Cruz is an Idiot!" Jon proved that meme to be true tonight. As well as Carly Fiorina, Mike Huckabee, Ben Car... oh fuck, EVERYONE SEATED IN THE GOP CLOWN CAR! Willie Nelson's one of the good ones from Texas.

Perhaps we'll see Sarah Vowell soon too, yes?

"Mission Accomplished" for Pam Geller.

Yes, you shouldn't be shooting people just because they do something you disagree with, like drawing pictures of Mohammed. But I can't help but think that the organizers of that event planned it as one big troll act. All that was needed was a sign saying "You Mad Bro?" And I'd have to think that Rick Perry would agree with what his successor Gregg Abbot was thinking about. He is dumb enough to think that things are different with the "scary dark radical Islamic socialist Nazi Harvard professor" living in the White House "illegally". Never look at people eating pizza on an empty stomach. Those anti gay protesters Jessica interviewed are just one level removed from those creeps at the Westboro Baptist Church. And just as awful as them. I do hope they go away if and when SCOTUS rules gay marriage as legal.

WYATT!!! FUCK YEAH!!!

When Jon knows he's gotten the better of his opponent, like Crossfire or Jim Cramer or Bill O'Reilly, he shows some confidence in himself after the interview. Last night against Judith Miller, he looked like he did when he went up against a similar living piece of shit that would not be moved from their opinions, like Cliff May or John Yoo. Like he wanted to drink a lot of hard grain alcohol to numb the pain and depression. Shep rules. Wish Jon could have said the same. So Samantha is now gone and there's no more Canadians at TDS. Pity! :( Bernie Sanders' heart may be in the right place, but whenever I see him I'm thinking "Invest in a comb, dude." Kristen Wiig is a triple threat. Very sexy, very smart, and very, very funny. I wished we could have heard more from her instead of Jon doing most of the talking.

Except that, not only is she not ashamed and embarrassed "journalist", she looked very pleased with herself at the end of the interview. That's the Fox News way.